


Minrathous: Full Circle

by cypheroftyr, psikitty



Series: A Different Path [4]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-02-14 04:56:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 95,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2178759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cypheroftyr/pseuds/cypheroftyr, https://archiveofourown.org/users/psikitty/pseuds/psikitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picks up about sixteen years after <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1161454/chapters/2360010">The Light That Pierces</a>, with Daer, Leto the second and Luce all in Minrathous Keep, Fenris and Anders are near ready to retire and neither can keep up with three rambunctious teenagers in the Keep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Fenris groaned as he stripped off his armor and put the practice sword away. “Why did I agree to train those three hellions? I’m too old for this.” 

Lethander laughed at him as he did the same. “Because you love your nephew and your sister. Lucen is getting too big to spar with them, he takes after Aedan.” 

“He is almost three years older, he should start training with the soldiers and guards. He nearly took me down a few times out there.” Fenris grimaced as he stretched his shoulder.

“A magic user shouldn’t be able to wield a sword the way he does,” Anders added. He waved his arms, miming a great sword strike. “I try to spar with him using magic and he takes a sword to me. You try to spar with him using swords and he whips out the fireballs. Oh,” Anders snapped his fingers. “And he’s so fucking tall and big like his father that he bowls us all over when he wants.” Anders might have retired from being Warden-Commander and handed over the reins to Fenris while he worked in the infirmary, but he still trained the mages that came to them, getting them ready to fight.

“Make him spar with Cadewyn next time.Then he’ll learn not to throw things at us.” Fenris stretched and groaned at how many loud cracks and pops he heard.

“So…” Anders said conversationally. “I didn’t want to mention it but uh… You two have seen how Luce looks at Daer right?”

“I’ve tried to avoid thinking of it. The last thing I want to do is have that kind of a talk with him. Or avoid Aedan’s wrath if they get together.” Lethander said tiredly. “Or maker help me have a talk with Daer.”

Anders flopped down into a chair. Training the three of them in magic has been harder than I thought it would be, even with Sirad’s help. Luce has been looking at Daer, and Leto is like his father and has been looking at everyone.” He rolled his eyes and sighed. “Was I that annoying at their age?” He held up his hand. “Wait, don’t answer that. You didn’t know me then, but I can tell what your answer is going to be.” 

“You’re like that now, I’m afraid to wonder what you were like as a randy teenager.” Fenris said. “Papa, don’t you dare.” he cut Lethander off before he could tell tales on his son.

Anders snorted in amusement. “Now that I have to hear later.”

“Just get it out of the way.” Fenris said in annoyance. 

“Oo,” Anders crooned. “Please do!” He straightened in his chair and placed his chin in his hands, looking at Lethander expectantly. 

“Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot of stories about Fenris as a wild boy, I was sent to a new master when he wasn’t much older than Lucen. He was always obedient, at least when we could see him. Much like now.” Lethander said with a laugh. “I’ll tell you more after I’ve had a bath and a hot meal, see you in the dining hall?”

Fenris’ ears were red as he set his armor on the stand. ‘Yeah, I’ll see you there. I want to check on the kids before I get a bath. See you soon papa.” 

Lethander waved at them as he headed off to his rooms for a hot bath to ease his muscles. 

“I swear, I am not going to live down having my whole damned family here where they can tell stories about me. I’m going to run away to the Villa and never come back.” Fenris muttered as he gathered his things for a bath. “With my luck I’ll walk in on Daer and Luce.”

Anders squeezed his eyes shut. “Please don’t joke about that. Leth might be a little understanding, but I don’t think Velanna, and definitely Cadewyn wouldn't be. I want to be able to give Luce back to Aedan and Morrigan in one piece.” 

“I wasn’t joking. He’s nearly nineteen, and Daer is a pretty girl.” Fenris sighed as he placed his hand on the door handle. “I’ll talk to the boys if you want, and maybe you can talk to Daer? I have zero clue what to say to a girl about a boy’s affections. She might not even like him like that, who knows. I’ll see you after a bath love, and we really do need to look over the roster to see who might take over while we’re visiting in Arlathan and Vigil’s Keep.”

“And I would know what to say to a teenage girl?” Anders asked incredulously. “I…” He tilted his head to the side. “Okay so I did used to know how to get under their robes, so maybe I can tell her what to look out for and make sure she understands what she’s getting into.” 

“Do you want to tell Velanna then? Let her have that conversation with Daer?” Fenris asked. 

“I’ll ask Leth what he thinks. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, but they have also allowed Daer into our care while we train them. And I am _not_ asking Cadewyn if I can have a talk like this with his daughter. If he hasn’t noticed the looks that Luce has given her yet, then I don’t want to be the one to tell him first.” 

“Nor do I but he won’t break you in half, he might try with me.” Fenris gave Anders a wave goodbye then headed down to the room Leto and Lucen shared. 

Fenris knocked, unsure if the boys were already at the baths or still in their room.

Lucen answered the door wearing clean clothes and his shoulder length, dark hair still damp from the quick bath he had taken. “Fen,” Lucen said in surprise. He hadn’t expected to see him so soon after practice. He moved back to let him in.

The elf arched an eyebrow at being called Fen, sure he should have nipped that nickname in the bud before others picked up on it. 

"Lucen, is Leto here too? I wanted to talk with you boys."

“He’s finishing up his bath and should be here soon.” He walked to a table near the center of the room. It was piled with books, scrolls, leftover food, and scattered playing cards. 

Fenris sighed at the state of the room, then set his towel and bag aside as he sat with Luce. "So...has your father talked to you about...um, well..." Fenris stammered as he tried to talk to his ‘nephew' about sex.

“Um?” Luce prompted. He was beginning to look nervous. “I like it here, Fen. Please don’t tell me father wants me to come back to Weisshaupt with him and mother.” 

"Ah no...nothing like that!" Fenris assured him. "I mean, uh...like when you, um... we noticed how you've been looking at Daer and, and..." Fenris tapered off again, his ears red as he glanced towards the door.

“Are you talking about fucking?” Luce asked bluntly. “Because father and Zev already talked to me about that years ago, and then mother did too.” He blinked. “Wait… What about Daer?” 

Fenris' eyes widened and he made a strange, choked noise as he nodded his head and tried to find his voice. He hadn't expected that from Lucen, especially not in such a blunt way.

He finally spoke, unsure what else would come from the young man before him. "Uh, yes...that. I...we, Anders noticed the way you look at Daer, like you...um, like her?" Fenris squeaked, sure his face was beet red.

It was then that Luce finally got bashful. “I mean…” He shrugged in a bid to look nonchalant. “I guess. Uncle Anders said something?” His voice came out a little panicked at the end.

"He was your age once, and he noticed the way you've been mooning afte Daer. I wanted to be sure you didn't get yourself in trouble, because you don't want her parents after you. Or me, since she is my little sister." Fenris' voice dropped as he stared at Lucen like he was one of the recruits fresh off the boat.

“I…” Lucen swallowed heavily. “I just really like her,” he admitted. 

"How much do you like her? Like want to kiss her, or more than that...like her?" Fenris asked as he stared in the younger man's eyes.

“Oh, Maker.” Luce buried his face in his hands, all earlier bravado gone. “I don’t know.,” he mumbled.

The door opened right when Lucen looked as if he was going to crawl out of his chair. "Uncle, what are you doing to Luce, he looks about ready to pee himself."

"Nothing...it depends on how he answers my questions. You sit down too, might as well get this all out of the way at once." Fenris pointed to the only empty chair in the room.

"I just got here, what could I have done?" Leto complained as he sat down.

"You...I notice how you flirt with everyone and I haven't missed how you flirt with Luce, even some of the guardsmen. Has Varania spoken with you about... you know?"

Fenris gestured vaguely with his hand at the other boy and sighed. Why was this so difficult?

Luce peeked between his fingers at his elven friend. Leto had his father’s blond hair, but in the summer hints of the red hair of his mother came out. It was as long as Luce’s, and already braided at the temples. 

“Wait, what does this have to do with Leto?” he asked as he slowly lowered his hands. 

Fenris mumbled an old curse under his breath as he beseeched Mythal for help. "You two are old enough, and apparently Lucen's parents already had a talk with him about sex. I don't want either of you to get into trouble." Fenris said tiredly

If it was at all possible, Lucen slid further down in his seat. He braced himself for what he knew was coming. Leto had told the older boy more about sex than Luce had even known was possible. Whether he had gotten the knowledge from his parents, or some finding out on his own, Luce didn’t know. 

Leto groaned and covered his face as he considered how to break it to his uncle that he didn’t need to have that talk. “I...um, father. Well he told me about _that_ and how not to get a girl with child. Especially since I’m young.” Leto knew his face probably was red and flushed but he carried on. 

“I’m not...I’m not that interested in girls anyway uncle. I’m not going trying to make any babies, I’m only sixteen!” he said with a high lilt to his voice.

“I know how old you are, I was there when you were born. You are my nephew and…” Fenris drew up short as he blinked at the boys words. “Oh...I guess, you. Oh Maker, I’m making us all uncomfortable aren’t I?” he mumbled in Tevene. 

“Yes uncle, you are… I don’t think I can show my face for a while. Why are you doing this to us, did we fail you in training or something? Maker above…” Leto muttered as he covered his face and how flushed he was.

“Uncle Anders thinks I want Daer,” Luce mumbled. He straightened up. “And so what if I did? Would it really be that bad?” 

“You’ve met her mother, do you want to face her if you break Daer’s heart? Or worse… get her with child, you’re barely nineteen, you’re not ready for such a thing.” Fenris said as he gazed at Lucen then his nephew. 

“But we’re ready to be trained in order to fight,” Luce said, some of his mother’s defiance leaking into his voice. 

“This isn’t about your training Luce, for Dumat’s sake...it’s about affairs of the heart. Do you want to be with Daer? Do you like her, think you will love her? Do you think she even likes you like that?” Fenris asked again.

“Maybe she doesn’t like boys, did you think about that Luce?” Leto chimed in.

Lucen’s mouth dropped open. “I… Wait, did she tell you that?” 

“No but maybe you should consider it, what if you’re doing all this and she doesn’t even like boys? Or hasn’t made up her mind yet?” Leto said as he reached over and shut his cousin’s mouth.

“I see this wasn’t needed, I’m going to take a bath and have dinner. See you in the dining hall.” Fenris replied as he got up to leave. “But know you can talk to me or your uncle Anders if you have...questions.” the elven fighter grabbed his things, glad that moment of embarrassment was over.

“Sure thing uncle, the same goes for you.” Leto said with a quirk of the lips, that was covered by the towel whipped at him. 

“Mind yourself boy, I can still take you over my knee.” Fenris said, with no great effort not to smirk at his nephew’s cheek.

“Can we just pretend this conversation never happened?” Lucen begged. 

“For now, but ...know that we’re here for you. See you later boys.” Fenris ducked out of the room, glad that their talk was over. He bathed quickly and headed down to the dining hall, starved and exhausted.

Lucen turned to Leto the moment the door closed. “Really, though, do you think she likes girls?” 

“I don’t know you idiot, I was just giving you an idea to consider. Let’s go eat, and stop moping over stupid girls.” Leto said with a grin that didn’t reach his eyes. 

“Easy for you to say,” Luce grumbled. “I never see you moping over anyone.” He rose to his considerable height for his age. “Do you think I should talk to her? Find out for sure?” 

“Yeah, do what you want. I’ll see you at dinner.” Leto huffed and headed out in front of his cousin. He didn’t want the other boy to see the hurt in his eyes at his attentions being missed yet again.

“What did I do?” Lucen asked the room when his friend had left.

**  
A few days later found Anders and Fenris in his study with Velanna and Lethander. The former Warden-Commander looked a bit harried, his his hair was slipping from its leather thong. He'd given up command a couple years prior so he could run the Infirmary along with Velanna. “So I’m going to be appointing the two of you to be in charge while Fenris, the kids and I are gone,” he finished. “Maker help me that we’re going to be traveling with the three of them.” He held up his hands. “No offense, one is a handful but three…”

“Is enough to give him gray hair and make mine whiter.” Fenris quipped. “Do you have any questions, concerns? Beg us not to do this to you?”

“I think we’ll be fine,” Velanna said. “And I love Daer, but it’ll be good for her to get out of the keep every now and then and see the world. It’s been years since she last was out of Tevinter.” 

“I care for Leto, but he hasn’t been around anyone his age except Daer and Lucen and it’s showing. Hopefully some of the kids in Arlathan will be good to mingle with. “ Fenris said as he looked over the duty roster before he handed it off to Velanna. 

“And maybe Lucen can find someone else to moon over other than Daer,” Velanna added. 

“Wait,” Anders said. “You know about that?” 

“There is little I don’t know when it comes to my child,” Velanna sniffed. “And she told me about it last night. Seems he tried to confess to her and she turned him down. He’s been moping all day about it.” 

“This is going to make the trip oh so wonderful. Hopefully he can find someone, or something to distract him. Perhaps Leto will stop mooning over him as well.” Fenris rumbled.

“Yeah,” Anders agreed nodding along. He froze, his head whipping around to stare at fenris. “He’s doing what now?” 

“He’s been mooning over Lucen for months, and Lucen is oblivious as a brick wall. Poor Leto looks like someone threw him in the lake.” Fenris said in annoyance.

Anders buried his face in his hands. “When I told everyone we would take them for training, I didn’t think it would be like this,” he groaned. 

“Well, they are young,” Velanna said. “This was bound to happen at some point.” 

“Why now?” Fenris groaned.

“Because when you get teenagers together in a mostly closed off enviroment, then have them working together all the time, these things happen,” Anders sighed. “Which is what always happens in a Circle, or used to until a few years back and they became more open.” 

“Maker…” Fenris said again, as he sat down and scrubbed at his face. “Let’s just get through lunch so we can pack and leave tomorrow morning.” 

“Maybe we can take Luce out on the practice yard after lunch and let him work out his frustrations that way. I know I like to have people talk things out, but I’m not sure if that’s going to work in this case,” Anders said.

“You spar with him, he nearly broke my arm last week.” Fenris griped.

“Oh, lovely,” Anders sighed. “Fine. I’ll get him after lunch. You’ll have to finish taking over the preparations for leaving then.” 

Velanna stood and tugged on Lethander’s arm. “Come on. This means we have some work to get done as well.”

“Hopefully they are at lunch and not sulking. I’ll spar with Leto before I finish getting packed.” Fenris nodded to the other elves as they left, then slumped in his chair the second they were gone. “Maker help us, three brooding teens, and cracked hearts. I’m no good at this, why do you think I was terrified at the idea of being a father?”

“Point made.” Anders poked at the pile of paperwork. “It’ll be nice to see everyone again, though.” 

“Yes, it’ll be good to get in some time sparring with the other Light Warriors.” Fenris said wistfully. “Let’s get some lunch, I’m starved.”

When they got to the packed dining hall, the table that the three teenagers usually sat at was quiet, with each of them doing nothing more than eating and staring resolutely at their plates. 

“And so it begins,” Anders sighed. 

“Aren’t vacations supposed to be fun?” Fenris muttered.

“So I’ve heard.” Anders and Fenris got their plates and drinks, then walked deliberately over to the table. Anders sat down on one side, with Fenris sitting across from him. Pasting a smile on his face, Anders turned to Daer. 

“Excited about tomorrow?” he asked. 

“I guess,” she said as she poked at her food. 

“Why not?” Leto asked, suddenly interested in the conversation. “It’s Arlathan, we haven't’ been in ages, Daer.”

“Because people always treat me strangely there. Here I’m just Daer. There I’m Cadewyn’s daughter and while the two of you can go out and have fun, I’m watched like a hawk.” She set her fork down. “It’s annoying and not fair.” 

“I can tell them that I’ll protect you, Daer,” Lucen offered. “Then they’d have to let you go where you want.” 

“I can protect myself.” She crossed her arms over her chest. 

“I… I know that,” he stammered. “I wasn’t saying you couldn’t. I was just…”

“Daer, you know he meant well.” Fenris said gently. 

“Sure, protect her.” Leto muttered under his breath before he got up and left the table. 

“This is why I’m not a parent.” Fenris said as he got up to follow his nephew.

“Why is he mad at me now?” Lucen said in exasperation as he watched Leto stalk away.

Daer pointed her finger at him. “I love you,” she paused, “like a brother, but you can be so dense sometimes. I think your muscles have squeezed your brains out.” 

“Whoa, wait,” Anders exclaimed. “That’s enough.” 

“Why the fuck is everyone yelling at me today!” Lucen slammed his fork down on the table and got up to stalk off.

“Mother says he’s like Uncle Aedan and you have to be blunt in order for him to get it,” Daer said. 

Anders groaned. “Just be nice, alright?”

“I am being nice,” she sniffed. “I love him, but sometimes he needs to be shaken and woken up. I was caught off guard yesterday when he came to tell me he wanted me. But I wasn’t mean about it, Anders.” 

“I know.” Anders gave her a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you at the dinner bell. I need to go and find Lucen.”

**

Fenris finally caught up with Leto and grabbed him so he could pull the younger elf into his office. “What is it? Are you going to be such delightful company the whole time we’re in Arlathan and the Vigil? If so, I will leave you here Leto.”

“So, maybe that’s better. I wont’ have to see _him_ chasing half the skirts between here and Kirkwall.” Leto snapped at the older elf.

“Are you still angry about him not liking you the same way you like him? Is it a crush, are you in love with him Leto? Then tell him if you want, but stop stalking off and snapping at him. No one here is a mind reader.” Fenris snapped back.

**  
Anders had just enough time to get his shield up before the fireball slammed into it. When the hot air dissipated, he lowered the shield and narrowed his eyes at Lucen. “I brought you here to spar and work off whatever you’re going through, not to try and burn me into a crisp. I keep telling you that you need to have more focus, Luce. You’re magic can still be too volatile.”

Lucen growled and lowered his hand. “I feel volatile!” he shouted back. He raised his arms to encompass the empty practice yard. “No one is talking to me and everyone keeps talking to me, but it feels like they’re talking around me. I’m not stupid. Something is going on. Daer is mad at me, Leto is mad at me, and now I think you and Uncle Fenris are mad at me. I can’t seem to do anything right.”

“No one is mad at you, Luce,” Anders began. At the other mage’s look, he cleared his throat and amended his words. “Well some of them are. But I’m not.”

“She’s just so pretty, and strong, and smart, and I was hoping--”

“That she would want more from you?” Anders finished,. “She doesn’t, Luce, and I’m sorry for that. But you two are friends, and you will still be friends after this.”

“I think I screwed up,” Lucen admitted. “Really screwed up and I don’t know how or why, and I don’t know if I can fix it.” 

**

Fenris snarled as he took a hard hit from his nephew, angry that words had devolved into fighting in his office and how broken up Leto seemed to be over Lucen’s indifference to his attraction. He wrestled the younger elf and pinned him down so he could talk instead of hit.

“Dammit Leto, fighting me won’t make this problem go away. Why would you raise your hand to me? I’m just trying to help you here, make you see that Lucen is not the only boy in the world. He probably doesn’t like boys, it’s not you.”

Leto bucked angrily but couldn’t break his uncle’s hold. “I’ve seen him staring at the stable boys sometimes. It is me, something about me doesn’t interest him.” 

“That’s not the end of the world Leto, it might seem like it, but Maker…him not noticing you is not going to kill you.” Fenris eased up on the younger elf and warned him to keep his hands to himself once he was freed. “Hit me again, and I’ll get your mother.”

“Fine...just let me up.” Leto huffed as he fought angry tears.

Fenris had just let the boy go when the door slammed open and Varania stalked in to see what the Void was going on. “Looks like I didn’t have to go far to get you.”

“What are you doing? I could hear him screaming three doors down.” Varania growled as she looked over her child.

“Fighting with uncle Fenris.” Leto sniffed as he turned out of her graps. “I’m not a baby, stop that.”

“You’re my son, hold still.” Varania said as she healed the bruising and the shallow cut on his cheek.

“He’s having a bit of a crisis, and he’s ready to fight over it rather than talk. Why don’t you talk to him? I need to finish packing and get Anders to check my jaw. He’s stronger than he looks that’s for damn sure.” Fenris rubbed at the bruise that bloomed on his face, worried for his nephew’s temper. 

“I...I’m sorry uncle. Please don’t leave me here, I’ll behave.” Leto pleaded. 

“Yeah, you can still go but everyone gets their own rooms so there won’t be any more of this shit while we’re traveling. Go on with your mother, I’ll see you at dinner.” 

Leto nodded and left behind Varania, his whole body showed how defeated he felt. Though he was an elf, he was almost as tall as his uncle, and towered over both his parents. 

Fenris rubbed at his jaw, a few choice words that he didn’t dare say to his nephew. It wouldn’t help the situation and as it was he was already dreading the trip. He didn’t need to make everyone even more upset before they left. 

The elven fighter headed to his room, hopeful his husband was there so they could pack and talk about what to do for their young charges.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aren't vacations supposed to be, fun? A bit of teen angst, and misunderstandings as Fenris and Anders take the kids to Arlathan for a break.

Thanks to Fenris, the journey to Arlathan had been quick. Anders didn’t think he could have stood making the journey the hard way on horseback, camping out in the wild and staying at inns for weeks on end, especially with the way the three teenagers had barely spoken to each other, let alone Anders and Fenris.

Fenris groaned as he dropped his bags in their room. Transporting that many people took a toll on him still and he was already exhausted from a night of little sleep, worry and anxiety. “Can we just leave them all here and go right to the Vigil?”

“Yes,” Anders said in all seriousness. “Yes, we can.” 

“Ok, I need one night to sleep and recharge and we leave them here with Sirad because I can’t cope with them all glaring and huffing at each other and us. I still can’t believe Leto hit me.” Fenris muttered as he laid back and let his eyes close.

Anders bit the inside of his cheek, his lips twitching as he fought not to smile. “That is pretty amazing,” he choked out.

“What’s amazing?” Fenris asked warily.

“Young elf who is struggling with his feelings, lashing out at a person in authority and getting into a physical confrontation with him…” Anders raised an eyebrow. “Where oh where did he get that from?”  
Fenris whipped a pillow at his husband without looking. “Not funny, Adelric.” he muttered. The elven warden wasn’t angry, but he was still mildly sensitive about how he’d acted in the past with them. He sat up and scrubbed at his face again. “I am going to sleep for a week, once we have lunch.”

“Speaking, of, we should get going to the dining hall so we can greet our hosts.” Anders held out a hand for Fenris.

“I don’t think Sirad or Rhys are just hosts, not when I’ve had both of them, and you’ve got to play as well. You’re not a host once you’ve shagged someone on your throne.” Fenris grumped as he let himself be pulled to his feet and wound up in Anders’ arms after he nearly swooned. 

“Think I’m getting too old for playing ferry like that. Feel dizzy.” he mumbled as he finally stood up on his own.

“Why don’t you get some rest now and I can bring you food later?” Anders said gently. “We have a few weeks for this visit and I think they would understand.”

“Sure...that sounds good.” Fenris mumbled before he shucked his clothes and crawled into the opulent bed with a sigh. “Tell Sirad and Rhys I’m sorry to miss lunch.” he said as he fell asleep.

“Have a good rest, love.” Anders kissed Fenris lightly on the cheek and left the room quietly.

**  
Leto had settled into a corner by himself with a large bowl of stew, a flagon of tea and half a loaf of bread while he seethed. He figured that Anders would make him socialize, but he was going to make the most of his time alone.

Cadewyn noticed the boy sitting off to himself and joined him without asking. “Why do you look so sour? You just got here a couple hours ago, you can’t have had that bad of a trip.”

Leto rolled his eyes and dug into his food sullenly instead of answering his elder.

“I’m here if you want to talk,” Cadewyn offered. “You’re a friend of my daughter and the son of Zev and Varania. I want to help if I may.” 

“Why, so you can pity me too? Tell me I’m stupid for how I feel?” Leto sighed and grabbed his tea so he wouldn’t lash out again. “It doesn’t matter, it’s not like talking will change things.” he glanced at Cadewyn’s markings, his gaze lingered a bit too long on the other elf’s strong arms and at the markings that ran up his neck and into his cropped hair.

“I won’t tell you that you’re stupid,” Cadewyn promised. “I would never think that of you, especially if it’s for something that you feel.” 

“That’s a change.” Leto muttered then picked at his stew again. “I’m sorry, I’m being difficult and you didn’t even do anything to me. Would you tell me about being a light warrior again? Uncle Fenris won’t talk about it with me for some reason.”

“He won’t talk about it because your uncle was a special case. His initiation was different because of it.” Cadewyn settled back in his seat. The elvhen hadn’t seemed to have aged at all since Arlathan was rediscovered. “What would you like to know?” 

“Oh, I thought it was something else.” Leto said softly before he peppered Cadewyn with questions about how you got to be a light warrior, what you had to do, how was it different than being a warden, and lastly if he could join up.

Cadewyn patiently answered each rapidfire question, but when it came to the last he stuttered to a halt. “You want to become a Light Warrior?”

“Yes, I don’t want to be a warden. I… I want this, to be a fighter. I’m stuck in Minrathous. I don’t want to be there my whole life, under everyone’s thumb. Please uncle Cade, please?” Leto practically begged.

“Do you know what you're asking?” Cadewyn asked without heat. “This is intense training, years of your life dedicated to it even after the ritual. And then the rest of your life to Arlathan’s protection either here or in Minrathous. You’ll come to see a side of your self during the ritual, that might drive you mad.”

“I’m going mad now, with everyone down my neck for everything I could do wrong. I’m a mage, but I’m terrible at it. Uncle tries to spar with me and I nearly lose my head. Anders tries to teach me magic and I just can’t. At least this will give me focus. Please, I beg you uncle Cadewyn. Tell Fenris I’ll train with you for a few days, he’ll be happy to be rid of me probably.” Leto made big, blue puppy eyes at him that he’d perfected by watching his uncles over the years.

“You’re sixteen,” Cadewyn began. “But I will talk to your uncle. If after training with me you still feel this way, we can talk about it more then.” 

“Just tell him we’re training, if I say I want to join the Light Warrior’s he’ll forbid it. Please Cadewyn. I’ll prove myself, just don’t tell him...yet.” Leto asked. 

Cadewyn gave Leto a searching look. One of the Tenants of the Light Warriors was not to turn anyway anyone who felt the calling to join and be a servant for the Creators and Arlathan. Still, he couldn’t lie to Fenris, and he told Leto as much.

“I’ll tell him after three days if you do not. Being a Light Warrior isn’t something to do on impulse.” He touched Leto’s chest. “It’s something you feel drawn to. I won’t tell you no because of that, but I won’t keep it for long from Fenris, and I won’t allow you to do it if I feel that this is being done for reasons other than the will of the Creators.” 

Leto swallowed and nodded. “I will talk to him tomorrow, is that sufficient, Captain Cadewyn?” 

Cadewyn nodded. “If you want this, you are going to have to stand by your choice. Feel it in your heart and not keep this decision from others out of fear.” 

“Yes ser, I understand. I’ll talk to uncle Fenris tomorrow after breakfast. I just hope he doesn’t forbid me to do this out of hand. I want this, not just for stupid reasons Cadewyn, please believe me.” Leto drew himself up and gave Cadewyn a brief smile. “I’ll find you after I talk with my uncle, if you will have me.”

“We’ll see,” Cadewyn said softly. Cadewyn believed what he had told Leto, about the Light Warriors being the chosen of the Creators, but he also knew that other reasons like revenge, greed, or anger, could drive one to choose this path. He didn’t want that for Leto, but he also couldn’t deny the boy out of hand completely.

“Thanks...I’m going to go and finish unpacking. I’ll see you at dinner.” Leto gave him a tentative smile then headed off to his room, with care to skirt the other teens as they ate.

Cadewyn dropped his head to the table and sighed. This was not going to end well when Fenris found out.

**  
Fenris had leaned back in his chair with a strong cup of coffee as he watched the kids dance around each other in that awkward way teens seemed to have of wanting to make it right but not knowing how to talk. He smiled at himself, sure he and Anders had done that dance more times than he wanted to admit and they were grown men. He sat up when Leto finally made his way over to him and stood before him for a while. “Did you need something?” he finally asked when the younger elf said nothing.

Remembering what Cadewyn had told him the day before, Leto blurted out, “I asked Cade if I could join the Light Warriors.” 

Fenris choked on his coffee and nearly dropped the half full mug. “You did what?” he burst out before he shot up and grabbed Leto by the arm so they could go elsewhere to talk.

“Ow!” Leto cried as Fenris all but carried him out of the dining hall. “Hey, where are you taking me!”

“To my room, and we’re going to discuss this stupid ass decision you’ve made.” Fenris growled as he dragged Leto behind him.  
“Uncle Fenris, what’s happening?” Lucen said as he hurried after the struggling pair out of the hall, Sirad close behind him.

“Is everything okay?” Sirad asked.

“No, everything is not ok. Your cousin has made a stupid ass decision, and since it is such a stupid ass decision...I’ve chosen to ignore it.” Fenris growled as he fought against Leto down the hall.

“You are not my father.” Leto spat before he let a hint of lightning race up his arm so his uncle would let go.

Fenris yelped as he jumped back, then shook the feeling back in his hand as he stared down his nephew. “You’d dare use magic on me like that?” his eyes had gone dark as he glared at the boy before him. “Fine, you want to risk your life, your mind...go right ahead. Don’t come crying to me when it all goes wrong.” 

Fenris’ voice had dropped to a low rasp as he stared through Leto, his eyes almost black with fury as he forced himself to remain still and remember his nephew was young, not fully trained and that reaching into his chest was going to be worse than telling Varania he’d joined the Light Warriors.

“What decision?” Lucen asked as he looked back and forth between the two elves.

“What have you done, Leto?” Sirad added.

“I want to join the Light Warriors...and just as I expected, uncle doesn’t want me to. Probably thinks I’m too young, or stupid.” Leto said as he watched Fenris carefully. He’d never seen the older elf react like that and he was worried he’d gone to far.

“Don’t ever use magic on someone unless you mean to follow through,” Sirad warned Leto.

At the same time, Lucen exclaimed, ‘Light Warriors? Are you insane?”

“It’s not like you give a damn, it’s my life Lucen Cousland and I will do as I please. Unless I need your permission too?” the younger elf snapped before he turned to face his uncle and Sirad. 

“I’m sorry uncle...I just wanted you to let go.” he said contritely as he waited for the other elf to respond.

“Listen to the Archon’s advice, and if you ever think to use your power on me like that again you will pay for it, boy.” Fenris snarled before he turned away and back to the dining hall.

“I’ll go and make sure he’s okay,” Sirad said quietly. “And then you and I are going to have a long talk later,” he warned Leto before striding off.

“What the fuck?” Lucen said when the older men had left. “Why are you acting like this? What did I do, Leto? I’m worried about you.” 

“Go chase after some skirts, it’s what you do best. You don’t get to tell me what to do Luce, you don’t even notice I’m around because you’re so busy making eyes at Daer, even after she told you she doesn’t like you like that. So go on and be the big damned hero like your daddy. Leave me alone.” Leto snapped before he tried to leave but was blocked by Cadewyn and Anders

“That’s enough,” Anders said, his voice deadly. It was a tone he rarely used, but one he’d cultivated over the years as Warden-Commander. 

Lucen ignored them. “So what, you’re pissed that I liked Daer? Did you like her yourself and that’s why you’re mad? And don’t you dare talk about my father.”

“I said enough!” Anders snapped. 

Leto clamped his mouth shut and glared at the floor. 

“If this is how you’re going to act, you won’t make it the first week of training. If I allow you to join as a recruit. Besides, if you make it...Fenris will be your captain once you return to Minrathous. We have plenty of Light Warriors here, we’re needed elsewhere. So think about that before you run your fool mouth again Leto. I’ll see you all at dinner, I’m late for a meeting with Rhys.” Cadewyn turned and left them all in the hallway, unsure if he even wanted Leto in his next round of recruits.

“I’ve had enough of this,” Anders said. “From all three of you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Lucen growled. “Why am I always getting yelled at?” 

Leto didn’t speak, he just continued to glare at the floor, suddenly mute as he was chastised. He just wanted to go to his room and sulk.

“Is no one going to answer me?” Lucen said, a little bit of helplessness in his voice. “I thought you were my friend, Leto.”

“Luce, why don’t you leave us alone for a moment,” Anders said as he stared at Leto.

The younger elf remained still, but mumbled an answer. “Yeah, but only a friend.” he replied sullenly.

Lucen stared at Leto, emotions crossing lightning quick across his face before he turned and left.

“Come on, Leto,” Anders said. “Follow me.”

Leto mumbled a tired ‘yes ser’ as he followed Anders to the office he and Fenris used when they visited. He stood there with his gaze on the floor, and his eyes closed as he fought angry, embarrassed tears.

“Sit down,” Anders urged as he quietly shut the door behind them. 

Leto sat down and stared at his hands as he awaited his dressing down from his uncle. He’d been terrible but he didn’t know what to say in the face of everyone’s anger.

“You know what happened to Luce before you were born, right?” Anders began. He perched on the edge of his desk in front of Leto.

“No ser.” Leto said softly. “Not the whole story.”

So Anders told him. He left nothing out, giving Leto the whole story in unfiltered detail. “Your uncle and Lucen don’t like to talk about it, because even after all this time, it still affects them. I wanted you to know, because I want you to have an idea of why they do the things they do. I love Morrigan and Aedan, but they are big shoes for Lucen to fill, and they drummed it into him since he was small that he had to be careful, to be safe, to be careful on who he let in.”

Anders leaned forward. “Just how many of those skirts I heard you tell him he chased has he been around for more than a few nights? None that I know of. You and Daer are different. You three grew up together, and you two are safe for him. I don’t think he wants to lose that. Just as I don’t think you want to lose your friendship with him and Daer.”

“Doesn’t matter, he probably hates me now anyway. Uncle Fenris looked so disappointed, I might as well just stay here whether or not Cadewyn lets me join. Mother is going to be so mad at me.” Leto gasped as he tried to hold himself together. “Im sorry, Im sorry. I just want to go back to Minrathous.” he started to cry but wiped at his face angrily.

“Nevermind your mother,” Anders said gently. “Ask yourself what Zev would do if he were you?” Anders leaned back and crossed his legs at the ankle. Maker… Although he knew he had been like Leto at his age, trying to push him in the right direction was harder than he thought it would be. He was going to have to send Kiara a present of some flowers--or a trunk of gold--for putting up with him.

“Sleep with someone to forget Luce.” Leto muttered as he wiped his face dry. “I should apologize to Fenris, and Luce I guess.” 

“That’s not…” Anders sighed and scrubbed at his face. “Look, you want him, then you need to let him know that. That’s what Zev would do. If you aren’t sure, then stop punishing him for not being able to read your mind.” 

“I don’t want my heart broken. I’ll just forget it, it’s not like he has eyes for anyone but Daer anyway.” Leto muttered as he finally looked up at Anders. “May I be dismissed?”

“Go ahead,” Anders told him. “And if you need to talk to me, you can. Please, Leto, rethink joining the Light Warriors. I had to sit and watch when Fenris went through his ritual. I didn’t know if he was going to end up dead, or mad. It would kill your parents to have that happen to you.” 

“Fine, I’ll think about it. Cadewyn probably doesn’t want me to join anyway not after this morning.” Leto left quickly for his room, locked the door and buried himself under the covers while he let out his feelings.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucen and Leto need to get their heads right, Fenris dallies with old hurts and Daer is heartily sick of everyone being stupid.

It was dark before he ventured out of his room and towards Fenris and Anders’ quarters so he could apologize for his behavior. He knocked quickly and half-hoped that his uncles would be out. Unfortunately, he never had good luck.

The door opened and Fenris stiffened as he saw that it was Leto at the door. “What is it?” he practically hissed.

“I...I wanted to apologize for earlier. If you don’t want to talk I can leave you alone for now.” Leto murmured as he looked down and away from his uncle.

“I’ll talk to you when I’m ready, I don’t want to see you right now Leto. Go back to your room, go somewhere but leave me alone.” Fenris snapped then shut the door in the younger elf’s face. He grabbed the first thing he put his hands on, a decanter of elvhen brandy; and flung it at the wall. 

The warden sunk to their bed, dropped his head into shaking hands and tried to get himself under control. He was still rattled after being shocked by his nephew, despite Sirad and Anders work to get him calmed down. He nearly shouted as the door opened, sure Leto hadn’t taken the hint, but instead looked up to see his husband before him. “Sorry...I’m still not alright.”

“Fenris,” Anders said gently, “You need to calm down about this, the both of you to. He’s just a kid and you need to understand that. Just as he needs to understand that you love him and don’t want to see him hurt.” He bent down and began to pick up the larger pieces of glass, placing them in a careful pile.

Fenris growled under his breath as he watched Anders clean up. “I do understand he’s just a kid, it’s why he’s still breathing. No one gets to use their magic on me in a fit of anger and walk away. It...it sent me to that dark place, I can’t help it.” he finished in a harsh whisper.

“I have.” Anders straightened and went to fetch the waste bin. “And I know that it sends you to a dark place, love. But how much does he understand of that? For a mage, especially a young one, lashing out with magic is just what we do, and he doesn’t have the control over it that Lucen or Daer does. I’m not excusing what he did, I thought Sirad and I had taught him better.” 

“You nearly didn’t, don’t let the years cloud your memory of that night, love.” Fenris said bitterly. He got to his feet and headed for the door, his hand tight on the handle. “I need to take a walk.”

“I’ll see you for dinner?” Anders asked. He threw the larger pieces of glass in the bin and began to pick out the smaller slivers in the rug.

“I don’t know. I don’t trust myself right now, and I don’t like how this has affected me. I’ll return, I just don’t know when.” Fenris said before he slipped out the door.

“Take care, love,” Anders called out. it hadn’t bothered him in years when Fenris needed time alone like this. He knew his husband would always come back to him and that was enough. 

Fenris teleported out to the grove where he’d become a Light Warrior, his gaze on the liquid lyrium and his mind ran in circles that wouldn’t slow down no matter what he did.

**

Fenris didn’t show up for dinner, and it wasn’t until the next morning that Anders started to feel a little prickle of concern. Although he was fine for Fenris to have the time he needed, it was the reason why he was so upset that worried him. 

Anders’ eyebrows were drawn down sharply as he ate his breakfast in the dining hall, his eyes lost in thought. 

Fenris had fallen asleep at some point, and was still asleep the next morning when Cadewyn found him.

Cadewyn crouched down next to Fenris, his hands on his knees. He tilted his head to the side as he studied the elf in silence before he spoke. “Fenris… Fenris, wake up.” 

“Hmmm, what?” Fenris slurred. He rolled over and sat up groggily as he found himself face to face with the other elven warrior.

“You were gone all night and I had a thought I might find you here.” He glanced down at the stone floor of the cavern. “It can’t have been comfortable.” 

“Was tired, just kind of fell asleep when I got my mind to settle. What time is it?” Fenris winced as he got to his feet and stretched.

“Past the morning bell,” Cadewyn told him. He rose as well. “Better?” 

“Sort of, I need to find Leto and talk.” Fenris’ stomach made its displeasure known for not being filled since the previous afternoon. “After breakfast.”

Cadewyn clapped Fenris on the back. “I want you to know that any decision I make about his suitability is not one I will make lightly. But we can speak more of this later.” 

“Alright” Fenris murmured as he started to follow Cadewyn back towards the main hall. “Choose him of his own merits, do not let this colour your decision too much Cadewyn. We were young and stupid once too.”

“Yeah but neither of us can shoot lightning in a fit of pique.” Cadewyn muttered as he held his arm out for Fenris to take. “Faster than walking.” 

“True, but now that I’ve slept on the problem, I feel better about how to talk to him. He’s hurting and young. My anger probably didn’t help much.” Fenris said as he took the other elf’s arm, then found himself in the main hall, right before the turn towards the dining hall.

“Anders is worried, I didn’t send him any kind of reassurance while I was away.” Fenris frowned as he sent calming thoughts to his husband.

“We all were worried but we’re used to you going off on your own when you need to think like that.” Cadewyn said softly. 

“Sorry about that.” Fenris apologized as he me made his way into the hall and found that Anders had already gathered him a plate and some tea. 

“No need to apologize. I’m off to find Leto, talk him down a bit and then I’ll send him your way.” Cadewyn waved as he headed off towards the training grounds.

“Thanks, I’ll be around with either Rhys or in our room.” Fenris called out before he sank down and dug into his food. After he’d inhaled most of it, he gave Anders a brief smile. 

“Sorry for worrying you love, guess I was really tired and just fell asleep out there.” Fenris said between bites of food.

“I know I don’t get as worried when you go off as I used to,” Anders said after taking a sip of his morning tea. “But I’m already a bit frazzled from everything and started to get concerned. You don’t have to be sorry.” 

“Still, I don’t wish to worry you.” Fenris finished off his plate then rose to go.”I’m going to find Leto, I’ll be in my office if you would leave us for a while?” Fenris said softly.

“I’ve got training with Daer and Lucen so I’ll find you after that.” Anders stood and gave Fenris a peck on the cheek. “If you need me, I’ll be at the training grounds. Good luck.” 

“I’ll need a drink more than likely.” Fenris kissed him on the lips then went off in search of his nephew. He found Leto in the gardens near the exit that would lead him towards Kirkwall.

“You’re not going to be let out without one of us, so don’t get any ideas.” Fenris said as he approached the sullen younger elf.

“Right,” Leto said bitterly. “No ideas.” He turned away from the exit and crossed his arms over his chest. He turned his head and stared at the ground, refusing to meet Fenris’ eyes.

“You could curdle milk with your tone. Come with me, since I do not wish to have this discussion where anyone might wander by and hear us.” Fenris stared at his nephew, unsure if he would come with him or bolt.

“Yes, ser.” Leto’s mouth pressed into a thin line, but did as Fenris had asked. 

Fenris sighed but didn’t say another word until they were in his office, the doors shut behind them. “Make yourself comfortable, pour yourself a drink if you wish. We may be in here for a while.” 

Leto didn’t bother to suppress his groan. He ignored the offer of a drink, suspecting he might need to be clear headed for what was about to come. After, though… After was another story. He took his seat and hunched his shoulders, while he watched Fenris with trepidation.

The older elf took his time as he poured himself a drink then settled against his desk. “Do you know why you using your powers on me upset me so much?”

“Because you and mom were once the slaves of mages,” Leto said, his voice full of remorse. “I’m so sorry, Uncle. I shouldn’t have… I didn’t think… I…”

“No, you didn’t. But there’s more to it than that. Think about it nephew. Think about why I, in particular would react as I did to magic being used without my consent.” Fenris sipped his drink and watched the younger elf fidget.

“I uh… I…” Leto’s eyes scanned the room, almost as if he were looking for an exit so he could bolt. His gaze slid over Fenris, and then jumped back. “Your markings… I had forgotten.” He buried his face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Uncle.” 

Fenris took a sip of his drink then started to walk around the room as he lit his brands one by one. “Yes, my markings. Before we found Arlathan, before I became a warden...for many years I was the property of the magister who did this to me.” He stopped in front of the other elf and held out his arm in front of Leto’s face.

“My real name, the one he took from me? It’s Leto, you were named after me. Why your mother gave me such an honor I don’t know but if you are to carry my name, I would not wish you to sully it with being so thoughtless. I’ve done that for twice your years and it cost me so much, nearly Anders, my relationship with your parents, my life.”

He let his brands dim once more then tilted Leto’s chin up so he stared into his eyes. “Do you wish to follow down the same path? To willingly take on the mantle of one who serves the Creators?”

There was a slight hesitation in Leto’s eyes, but then they hardened in determination. “Yes.” 

“It will be a difficult path, one that I faltered on often. Did you know Cadewyn and Rhys often bested me, made me learn hard lessons as a Light Warrior? Made me run miles and miles around Arlathan until I’d learned the control I needed? Think you can survive training like that?” 

Fenris refilled his drink and paced slowly around his nephew as he considered his next words. “You are lucky, you are among the first to live in Minrathous as a free elven mage. Your mother never had that, I never had that. Neither has the Archon, nor his husband King Iefyr. Your father was subject to the Antivan Crows. You are the first man born to freedom in our family for several generations. Do not squander your legacy Leto. Do not make me regret agreeing to letting you train with Cadewyn. I do not wish to know I failed you in such a way. You should also be concerned with how furious your parents will be, and if you are ready to take on such a burden at your age.” 

“Dad always told me to follow my gut. He said it would never betray me once I learned to listen to it, and his had saved him many times over the years. My gut is telling me to do this, Uncle. Maybe my heart and my mind aren’t in complete agreement, but my gut says this is right.” Leto held Fenris’ gaze.

“Very well, I will help where I can. But if you ever, ever use your powers on me like that again I will not hesitate to hurt you in return. You want to run with the adults, you will take your punches like one. Anyone else had done that to me, they’d be dead now.” Fenris finished his drink and got in Leto’s face.

“Never again will you use your power in anger, else you do harm you cannot undo or apologize for Leto Arainai. I love you but I will not let you hurt me or anyone else because you lose control. Am I clear?”

“Yes, ser,” Leto replied, his voice strong. “I won’t let you down, thank you.” 

“Don’t thank me yet. In fact I am sure you will be cussing my name the first time Cadewyn puts you through your paces.” Fenris grinned as he stood up and poured himself another drink.

Leto held out his hand. “May I have that drink now, please?” 

“Get it yourself, if you’re grown enough to drink it; then pour it.” Fenris nodded at the sideboard and took a seat finally with his own drink.

Leto’s eyes widened, but he got to his feet and got himself a drink. He took a sip of it and grinned. “Antivan Brandy,” he said. “A good one too.”

“I guess your father has educated you on the finer kinds of drink from his homeland.” Fenris said before he sipped his own Starkhaven single malt.

“Antiva is the jewel of Thedas, yes?” Leto said in a perfect mimic of his father’s voice.

“That...is just a little bit creepy. I would have sworn he was here if my eyes had been closed.” Fenris shuddered slightly before he took another sip.

“They don’t know what to do with me,” Leto suddenly whispered. “Dad and mom. Neither one of them had good childhoods, and it was easier to relate to me when I was younger, but now… They’re trying.” He winced and glared down at the brandy, silently blaming it for his words.

“In vino, veritas.” Fenris said quietly as he watched his nephew. “Be glad they care enough to try. You’re at an awkward age, and it’s hard with them in Ferelden part of the year, and in Minrathous part of the year. Just take it one day at a time.” 

“Thanks,” Leto said sincerely. He took another sip of his brandy and lapsed into silence. He had so many questions he wanted to ask, but didn’t want to push his uncle any further, especially when he had just forgiven him. . 

“I can hear you thinking, what’s on your mind?” Fenris said as he leaned back and stared at the younger elf. “Copper for your thoughts.”

“Cadewyn told me that the warriors are the chosen of the Creators. Is that true?”

Fenris took another sip, then refilled his glass as he pondered how to answer his nephew. “We are, yes. One of them will come to you if you are successful during the rite. You’ll be a servant of that particular deity.” 

‘What’s it like?” Leto asked. “Being a servant of a god?” His heart began to pound at just the very idea. He didn’t know if it was nerves or excitement.

“Difficult and not something I should discuss with you unless you prove yourself.” Fenris cradled his tumbler in his hands and let his head drop back so he could look at the ceiling. “Fen’Harel possessed me for months, but Mythal chose me. She can be a...harsh mistress.” 

Leto blanched at Fenris’ words, and he took a drink of his brandy. “Thank you for this, Uncle. For understanding.” 

“You look pale as your uncle Anders at the reminder that I’ve had my life turned upside down by the Trickster. But he is the reason that Lucen is safe, and whole today.” Fenris smiled, a hint of the devious one in his expression, but it left as soon as it came.

Leto’s eyes widened and he nodded quickly. Although he’d had alcohol before, the fine Antivan Brandy was beginning to go to his head.

“You will have one chance to ask me about it, after today the subject is forbidden. Make it good nephew.” Fenris rumbled before he took another sip. He glanced at the amber liquid then back to his relation with a dark glint in his eyes.

“What happened to you and Lucen,” Leto blurted out. He’d been wondering about it for years, but no one, not even his friend would discuss it with him.

“Apparently when Anders and I took our vows the second time, Fen’Harel slipped by me and had possessed me that night. It took a long trip, a lot of anger and us moving too slow for his impatient ass to make him show himself. A lot of it is fuzzy, but I stole Lucen from his parents, rather Fen’Harel did.”

The elven fighter paused as he glanced at the fire and kept his composure by some force of will. “He wanted to possess Lucen to a degree, use the spirit of the old one that inhabited him once he’d unleashed the chaos he’d wanted to on the world. Instead, whatever enchantment or safeguard Morrigan had on him, kept his plan from working. He was cured of whatever Fen’Harel did to him, and I thought his father was going to kill me. I would have deserved it for taking him. He’s the closest I ever had to a son, before you came along.” 

“Luce still has nightmares about the Old God,” Leto whispered. “He’s so strong like this father and mother, but the terror on his face when he wakes up from those dreams it…” He glanced up at his uncle. It suddenly occurred to him that Lucen wasn’t the only person that still had nightmares to this day. 

“I shouldn’t be asking you about these things.” 

“You get this one time, after this you will not ask me if you know what’s good for you.” Fenris finished off his drink then closed his eyes. “If you’ve no other questions, send for your uncle Anders please.”

Leto set down his almost finished drink and rose. “Just one more. You were the one who separated the Old God and Lucen, correct?”

“Fen’Harel as he wore me like a coat, yes. Why?” Fenris looked at his nephew curiously, unsure where his line of questioning was headed.

“Thank you,” Leto said, his gaze locked with that of his uncle. “Thank you for saving him.” 

“Welcome, now go talk to him and stop expecting him to know what you're thinking. Get Anders for me, please.” Fenris said tiredly as he let his eyes drop closed and the glass nearly slipped from his fingers.

“Yes, ser.” With his eyes once again downcast, but his brow furrowed in thought, Leto left the office.

Fenris snorted as he heard the door latch, his mind firmly latched on those months so long ago. How he’d betrayed them all yet he remained loved and cherished. He wondered when his luck would run out, and what was waiting for him at the end of the line. The elven warden had fallen sound asleep in his chair before Anders made his way to the office.

**

Lucen worked the handle of the water pump in the training yard, cool water splashing out. He took his sweat stained, dirty tunic off, the result of hours spent sparring and training with Anders, and crouched down under the water, letting the chilled liquid cool off his head, rinsing away the worst of the grime on his neck and chest. He was tired, but he felt good. He always felt good after practice. His father had been training him since he could first hold a sword, and his mother had drilled spells into his head until he could cast with little thought. 

Someone cleared their throat behind him, and his eyes snapped open.He straightened and wiped the water from his face with the back of his hand, pushing his dark, drenched hair out of his eyes. 

“Leto?” Lucen said. “Hey… I uh… I was going to go look for you.” 

 

An awkward silence fell over the training yard, with neither boy looking at the other. 

“Uncle Fenris said he would allow me to become a Light Warrior,” Leto finally said. 

Lucen’s hand clenched down, balling up his tunic in his fingers. “Then it looks like you’re all set to go. Congratulations,” he said flatly. “Hope you don’t go insane.” 

Leto glanced up sharply. “You’re not even a little bit happy for me?” 

“Considering that it could kill you or make you insane, then no… How am I supposed to be happy about that, Leto? You’re my friend and you’re willingly walking into danger.” 

“It’s my choice, and it’s not like they’re letting me join tonight. I have to prove myself Lucen, if I manage that I will be allowed to attempt the ritual. That’s not what I came to talk about anyway.” the elven teen glared at his friend, unsure if he should remain.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this,” Lucen whispered. “I…” He pressed his lips closed, cutting off his words. “Then what did you want to talk about?”

“Us...and my ...feelings for you. But not out here in the yard, I’ll be in my room once you’ve gotten cleaned up.” Leto said as his gaze flicked back to the ground and not at his friend.

“There is no us, Leto,” Lucen said quietly. “There can never be.”

That brought the elf up short and made him clench his fist tight until red dripped between his fingers and to the ground. “Then I guess our talk is done. I’m ...going to go, see you around, Cousland.” 

Lucen closed his eyes. “You’re my best friend, Leto, we don’t have to lose that.” 

“No...of course not.” Leto’s voice was cold, once more a mimicry of his father’s cultivated facade instead of the warm tenor that usually came from him. “I need to go, why don’t you go back to whatever it was you were doing. I need to be alone.” 

Lucen opened his eyes in time to watch Leto go racing from the training yard. He pressed his fingers to his lips. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“You two are pathetic,” came Daer’s voice from nearby. She stepped out of a small doorway used by the servants. “Seriously pathetic, haha.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lucen growled. 

“I know than you think I do, Lucen Cousland,” she sniffed back. “I know why you just did what you did.” 

“Shut up, Daer,” he snapped. 

“I have three parents and none of them can stop me from speaking my mind, so I doubt you’ll have any luck either,” she told him. “You need to talk to someone, Luce.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he hissed.

“I think you do.” She crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest. “And if you don’t, then I will.” 

**

Fenris’ eyes opened to see that Anders had made coffee and was almost on top of him with the beverage. “Where’d you find coffee?” he mumbled as he sat up.

“I sent in an order to Kirkwall when we first got here,” Anders said with a grin. “I thought with the kids we might need a lot of it to keep up.” 

“Thanks.” Fenris took it and almost moaned in pleasure. “Can’t drink like I used to, getting old.” he muttered.

Anders eyed Fenris who looked only slightly older than he had when they had first met. “You don’t look it, me on the other hand…” The mage pulled forward some of his hair, the silver strands mixed with the fading blond hitting the light. 

“It’s because you were such an effective Warden-Commander, it came honesty from the job.” Fenris said softly. “I like it, makes you look dignified.” 

Anders straightened his shoulders and looked down his nose at Fenris. “Do you really?”

“Yeah, you don’t?” Fenris said as he stood up and reached for the silver in his husband’s thick hair. “Kind of sexy actually.” he purred.

“I do like the fact that people think you’re my younger, hotter, elf,” Anders admitted with a grin. 

“Hmmph.” Fenris said as he eased himself back into the chair and snagged his coffee. “I spoke with Leto, he asked me some hard questions and I was honest with him. I just hope he can take it when Lucen shoots him down.” 

“Too late for that,” Anders said with a sigh as he sat up. “When I went down to fetch the coffee, I ran into Daer. She told me that things did not go well between Luce and Leto.” 

“He’s going to sulk and miss dinner isn’t he?” Fenris muttered around the lip of his mug.

Anders let out an over dramatic gasp. “What? I have never heard of someone from your family doing that before. I’m shocked, serrah!” 

“That’s one you get for free, Adelric,” Fenris groused with little anger to his words.

Anders winked at his husband. He walked over to him and leaned down for a kiss, tasting the bitter coffee on his lips.

“Be glad I love you.” Fenris said softly as he pulled back. “Any news on Lucen?”

“Lucen is still in the practice yard.” Anders gave Fenris a wry smile. “He’s like his father that he needs to slash at things for a few hours in order to feel better.”

“I’ll talk to him after dinner, assuming any of them show their face tonight. Let’s get cleaned up and find Sirad before then. I feel disgusting for having discussed that year in our lives.” Fenris said softly.

“I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t be, love. You told him what he wanted to know, and he needed to hear and understand.” 

"I know love, it's just rough." Fenris said quietly

Anders gave Fenris another kiss, this time lingering a bit longer to taste him. “We could just stay in the room for the rest of the day and pretend none of this is happening,” he suggested.

"I'll settle for that." Fenris agreed before he tugged his husband down for another kiss.

Anders was just getting into the kiss when a knock at the door had him freezing in place. “Fuck,” he muttered against Fenris’ lips.

"If we ignore it, maybe they will leave?" Fenris said even as he reluctantly pulled back from his mage.

“Fenris, Anders,” came Daer’s voice through the door. “Are you in there?”

“She knows perfectly well we’re in here,” Anders groused.

"Yes, come in Daer." Fenris called as he gave his husband an apologetic grin

Anders drew back and sat down across from Fenris as the door opened. Daer walked inside, a secret smile on her face. “Was I interrupting?” 

“What’s going on?” Anders asked, ignoring her question.

"I hear you ran across Lucen and Leto earlier?" Fenris asked with an arched brow

“More like I saw the whole thing between them. I was coming out to find Anders when I saw them in the practice yard together.” 

“And you didn’t think to leave them alone?” Anders asked.

“Well I didn’t interrupt. Besides, I thought that Leto would have noticed me. He’s usually good at that. But I realized he had other things on his mind. It did not end well. Lucen like an idiot turned him down and Leto took off.” 

"Do you want to take Lucen or Leto?" Fenris asked before he sighed and headed for the door. “Never mind, I’ll take Leto, Lucen might not listen or I might forget I’m an adult. Meet you in the dining hall later, love, good luck.” 

The elven fighter headed off to find his nephew, while his husband remained with Daer for the time being. He cursed everything as he made his way to the floor where visitors were housed. It was already a draining trip and they’d not been there two full days.

He found the boy in his chambers, the door locked against him.

Fenris sighed as he balanced a tray of food in one hand and pounded on the door to be let in. “Leto, you need to have dinner.” when no answer came he phased his hand and opened the latch.

“Wait!” came Leto’s voice as Fenris opened the door and walked right in. He sat up in his bed, wiping at his tear stained cheeks and reddened eyes. 

The older elf let the door shut, his brands threw a diffused blue around the room as he set the tray down but didn’t light any candles. “It’s not as if I’ve never seen you cry Leto. I take it your talk ended poorly?” Fenris said gently as he started to peel an orange and wait for his nephew to speak.

“Ended before it began,” Leto croaked. “I’m not hungry, Uncle.” 

“Believe me, you will just make yourself sick and be heartbroken, hungry and have a headache tomorrow. I spent a little too much time like you are now to see you suffer as well. Now join me, I’ll leave the room dark if you wish.” Fenris popped a slice of orange in his mouth as he watched the lump on the bed shift around.

Leto got up, clothed in nothing but his smalls and walked over to the table. He sat down and reluctantly picked up a juicy melon slice.

“No pants?” Fenris asked as he finished off his own fruit then rose to wash his hands.

Leto shrugged. “It’s not comfortable to lay in bed wearing clothes.” He was also being a little passive aggressive. If his uncle wanted to force himself into the room and get him to eat, then he would get Leto how he found him.

“While I normally find you charming and sweet, this doesn’t suit you nephew. Are you going to be so cheerful while I stay and visit or are you going to be an asshole?” Fenris’ gaze hardened as he stared at the younger elf, his hands busy as he picked up more fruit.

Leto sighed and got up to find his breeches. He slipped them on and sat back down again. “I don’t know why you’re even bothering, Uncle.” 

“Because I care about you, unless you think that’s stupid too? Am I not allowed to do so? If not, tell me and I’ll leave you alone to wallow in your misery until tomorrow.” Fenris kept his calm, memories of Anders having the same conversations with him so long before fresh in his mind as he dealt with his name sake.

“He just shot me down, Fenris. Just… Right away and left me with nothing.” Leto began to pick at a small loaf of fresh bread, crumbling it into his plate.

“Unless you plan to feed pigeons tomorrow you should eat that.” Fenris said as he gently laid his hands over Leto’s. He picked at some of the nuts that were closer to him, the word in Trade escaped him as he munched on them. 

“Did he say why? Or did he just tell you to fuck off with no explanation? Or...did you hear no and flee the field before he could explain himself? Perhaps he doesn’t want to hurt you Leto, or there is some reason for his refusal of your feelings.” 

“He said that there could be no us and never would be,” Leto replied quietly. He stilled the movement of his hands. “What more was I supposed to hear? We were obviously done talking.” 

Fenris sighed and fidgeted with his wedding band as he gathered his thoughts. “Leto, you’re both young. Maybe the thought scared him, maybe he wanted to spare you any heartache if he still is chasing Daer or as much as it hurts to think; maybe he’s more interested in your friendship than your heart.” 

“I guess,” Leto replied sullenly.

“Dumat save me from teen dramatics. I am so grateful I couldn’t remember this until I was older.” Fenris mumbled as he tried to to think of a way to get through to Leto.

“What will help then? Are you going to sulk in your room and cry every night? What happened to wanting to join the Light Warriors? Is that gone out the window because of this? There is more to life than boys, or whoever you are interested in. Do you want to talk, or do you want me to leave?” Fenris asked as he watched his nephew carefully for signs he was done talking.

“I…” Leto took in a cleansing breath. “I wanted to join the Light Warriors because I thought it might impress Lucen. It wasn’t the only reason, but it was one of them,” he admitted quietly. 

“The other reasons? You can’t just do this to impress a boy Leto. You have to really, really want it. You know you might go insane, or worse if you are found wanting? I love you and if you want this for the right reasons, I will back you all the way. But don’t do this for a stupid reason.” Fenris sighed and went to light a candle so he could see his nephew. “Sorry, but it’s too dark in here now.”

“I want to do something,” Leto said. “I want to do something other than being a Grey Warden. I used to hear the stories of the things my father and mother did, and some of those things weren’t because they were Grey Wardens. I remember when I first knew what a Light Warrior was, I thought they were amazing and wanted to be a part of that.”

Fenris let his markings blaze bright in the room for a moment. “That, that is what you want? To be a servant of the Creators? Fables you weren’t even really raised with? I know they are real because of what I experienced, but do you have the faith, the heart for it, Leto?” 

Leto’s eyes narrowed sharply. “Everyone keeps questioning my heart, but I know it better than all of you. You, Cadewyn, Lucen, Daer. All of you. I know what I want, Uncle. I want this. I can use the training my father gave me to serve everyone far better as a Light Warrior than as a Grey Warden. I know this.”

“It’s a valid concern Leto. I know what it’s like to be doubted, when everyone seems to know better than you do. But we don't’ do it to hurt you, it’s out of love.” Fenris let his markings light once more and held his arm out. “Touch...see what you are asking for, son.” 

Slowly, Leto reached out and traced a finger along one of the markings, tracing its swirling pattern. “It tingles against my skin,” he said in wonder. “Does it feel like that for you too?”

“No...they just...are.” Fenris said softly as he fought the urge to flinch as Leto’s power reached for his markings. “It was much worse when my master carved me up in a mockery of these.” he said so softly he might as well have whispered.  
“I’m sorry that happened to you, Uncle,” Leto whispered. “I…” He paused. “You don’t think my magic will make this something that… So much lyrium I hadn’t really thought of how my magic would react to it.” 

“I think you will be powerful, but you have already been training to be more of a fighter, or perhaps a rogue like your father? Thankfully you know many powerful mages that can help with your path.” Fenris said quietly as he caught a whimper before it could escape. His nephew had great power, and it was affecting him the longer he touched his markings.

Leto pulled his hand away. “Thank you for showing me.”

“Welcome.” Fenris murmured as he pulled his hand back and sat up straighter. “Are you going to be alright? Do you need to talk more?” he asked with a rasp in his voice. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Leto admitted. “He’s… He’s so dense.”

“Let him be dense then. You will go on nephew, and once you begin your training you won’t have a lot of time to moon over anyone. Just rest up tonight, and tomorrow go out there like you’ve got plenty to do and not enough time for it all. When you’re not so angry, talk. Until then, leave him alone.” Fenris stood and paced slowly as he pondered what Leto could do to alleviate his broken heart.

“Yes, ser.” Leto finally put a piece of his crumbled bread into his mouth and began to eat.

“Don’t ser me, if you think that’s a bad idea tell me.” Fenris said quietly.

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea. My mind knows it’s a good one, but my heart wants you to fuck off.” 

Fenris choked on his water. “Language Leto, you are still sixteen and not fully grown.” he coughed until he found his breath again, a tiny smile curved his lips as he looked at his relative.

“You told me to speak my mind,” Leto said with a grin reminiscent of his father’s. The smile fell away. “Thank you, Fenris. I mean it.” 

“You’re welcome, and yes I did say that didn’t I?” Fenris replied as he rose to leave. “If you’re alright, I’m going to return to my room for the night. I’ll find you in the morning.”

“Cadewyn starts training me tomorrow. I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?” 

“Yes, yes you are.” Fenris laughed as he headed for the door. “Sleep well, you’re going to need it.” 

**

“Was I not allowed to turn him down?” Lucen asked, his arms crossed over his chest and his legs braced apart, the picture of defiance. 

Anders paced the boy’s chambers. “I’m not saying that, Luce, but you could have been nicer about it.” 

“He wasn’t going to get the hint unless I spelled it for him outright,” Lucen sighed. “I wasn’t mean to him. I wouldn’t do that. I can’t be blamed for not wanting him.” 

“Daer seems to think otherwise.” Anders stopped in mid stride and spun on the boy. “She also seems to think that you are keeping things from us and that’s why you turned Leto down the way you did. You’re free to love and lust after anyone you wish, Luce. But if you’re hiding something…” 

“I’ll tell you what i told Daer,” Lucen spat, “Neither one of you know what you’re talking about. I’m not hiding shit. She can take her little observations about me and go fu--”

“Lucen Cousland!” Anders snapped. He walked into his space, purposefully crowding him. “Number one: don’t ever talk about her like that. I won’t tolerate it. Number two: That’s fine language about someone who you were professing to love just a few weeks ago. It makes me think she’s onto something.” 

“Think what you will.” Lucen didn’t back down. “All of you can. I’m not keeping secrets.” 

“Your parents entrusted you into our care,” Anders said. “Just as they trust you to do the right thing. I won’t betray that trust, and neither should you.” 

“I’m not keeping secrets,” Lucen repeated. 

“Then we have nothing more to say on the matter,” Anders said, his disappointment in Lucen evident in his voice. Daer had been so insistent on it, that Anders was convinced something was wrong. But Lucen was strong willed, which meant that Anders would just have to watch him carefully from then on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Leto to give in or get out, and Lucen has been hiding something, will it be too late once the others find out the truth?

The next month came and went with Leto training as hard as he could with the Light Warriors, including his uncle and Cadewyn from sunrise to sunset. Some days he could barely pull himself from his bed but he was determined to prove himself worthy of the mantle. With only a few days before they were to leave for Vigil’s Keep, Fenris asked Cadewyn if the boy was ready. 

“Are any of us ever ready for this?” Cadewyn asked. He took a sip of his wine as he sat back in his seat in Fenris’ office.

“No one is, even when they have planned on it.” Fenris tipped his glass back and finished his drink. “Shall we get him?”

Cadewyn tipped his glass back and drained the contents. “Might as well. Rhys has been with him for hours now. The two have been meditating.” 

“Mythal help us.” Fenris said as he rose and fetched his sword. He was dressed in the armor of the Light Warriors, the flexible plating was dark green with golden trim that wound around in a vine pattern. Instead of trousers, his lower armor was more of a battle skirt like Zevran used to wear, with alternating green and gold pleating. He twirled once so Cadewyn could see all of it.

“I don’t get to wear it often, I figured my ranked Captain’s plate was good enough for today.” Fenris said solemnly.

Cadewyn stood in his own captain’s armor, and glanced down. You should wear yours more often. You’re the Tevinter Captain and can do as you please in these matters.” He grinned. “Although I have to admit I’m biased and like this better than what you Grey Warden’s wear.”

“At least we’ve redesigned the Minrathous Warden’s apparel.” Fenris said with a grin. “Anders wasn’t satisfied until he’d made it unique to our outpost. Come on, let’s get this done.” 

Together they left the chamber and headed towards’ Rhys’ rooms. Their armor was almost silent as they walked, the elvhen metals crafted to fit with perfection.

Fenris knocked and awaited their exit, his hands clasped together so Cadewyn wouldn’t see how nervous he was.

Rhys opened the door, and he wasn’t dressed as a king, but in his Light Warrior armor. It was much less ornate than those of the two captains’. Behind him, Leto was getting to his feet wearing nothing more than plain robes and breeches, his face determined. 

“Is he ready, ser?” Fenris asked as he deferred to his King, his gaze averted from his senior.

Rhys smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “As ready as he will ever be. Let’s pray the Creators accept him so that we don’t have to face the wrath of Zevran and your sister.” 

Behind Rhys, Leto winced. The four of them walked into the hall and made their way out of the castle. As they walked, they gathered others with them, others who were also going to try the ritual and join the ranks of the Light Warriors.  
They walked through the woods just outside the city, coming to the opening for the cavern that would lead them to the ritual chamber, and the lyrium pool. Light Warrior and Royal guards stood in front of it, and a gate had been erected in front of it, a precaution that Rhys had taken many years ago after Arlathan was raised. 

Fenris fell into line next to Cadewyn and glanced at the others who were going to attempt the ritual. Three elvhen women, two men along with Leto and Rhys stood before them all as he waited for everyone to settle down. 

The air seemed still, almost as if the world was holding it’s breath, waiting for what was to come. 

Fenris waited for Rhys to nod at him before he flanked his King on the right, and Cadewyn on the left, his gaze traveled over all of the assembled supplicants one final time before he waited for Rhys to speak the words that had heralded everyone’s attempt at the rite.

“All of you are here because for some reason or another, you felt the call of the Creators,” Rhys began in Elvhen. “Inside, you will learn things about yourself that you didn’t know where possible. The creators will weigh your life, your thoughts, your feelings, your heart. They will show it to you unvarnished and raw. You will learn harsh lessons today. I can only hope that you will judge yourself with as much kindness as the Creators will.”

Fenris and Cadewyn stepped forward to lead them into the cave, the Tevinter elf nervous as he watched them all circle the lyrium pool, their expressions tense as they awaited their turn to submit themselves. He looked to Rhys, who nodded at him to call forth the first supplicant.

“Eriel, do you submit yourself to the will of the Creators? To give yourself to them as they see fit to use your talents?” Fenris asked the elvhen woman that stood before him, head up, dark hair unbound and expression hard. 

“I do serah, may they find me fit and ready to serve.” she said before Fenris stepped aside to let her enter the writhing mass of lyrium. 

“May the Creators accept you,” Rhys said as her head sunk beneath the pool.

She was the first to go through the ritual, and the first to exit the pool, marked in bright, white lines that stood out against her dark skin as they lit up. Fenris offered her a robe and a wine skin as she dipped her head to him. 

“Congratulations, you will serve well. Go and rest, while we await Intaran.” Fenris pointed to the fire pit where one other elf sat, he’d managed to rise from the pool even before Eriel, though she’d gone in first. 

There was only Leto, and one more elvhen to go through the ritual. They waited and watched for the others to emerge, hopefully sane and ready to serve.

Leto was the first of the final two, his head emerging from the pool with a gasp, his eyes wild and fresh markings on his body. His mind reeled as he tried to slow down his thoughts. They had been pulled rapidfire from him, taken out and shown for what they truly were. Petty jealousies, anger, hate, violence, each were stripped bare and laid out. But alongside those had been love, family, friends, the counter balance to who he was. His body shook while he stepped out of the pool, the lyrium slipping off of him, almost crawling back to the rest of the writhing depths. 

“Leto?” Rhys asked in concern. 

“I didn’t know…” he said in an awed whisper. “I feel… everything…” 

“Congratulations,” Rhys said with a grin. “I…” 

A scream tore through the cavern, echoing off the carved, stone walls. Every eye turned to the pool to see the final recruit emerge. She clawed at her face, leaving bloody gouges in her flesh. 

“Shit,” Rhys cursed under his breath.

Leto watched in horror as her eyes abruptly rolled in her head and she began to sink back down.

Cadewyn flashed to her side, gathering her in his arms and flashing back out of the pool, the lyrium igniting as he did and causing a bright flash that blinded. 

By the time that Leto had regained his eyesight, the Elvhen woman was dead, laying on the floor with her mouth opened in a scream. Leto took a step back away from the body, shaking his head. This is what they had warned him about, and he had believed them, but hadn’t thought about what it had really meant. 

Insanity.

Death.

It could have easily have been him. His eyes slid over to his uncle, who with Cadewyn were wrapping up the body in a cloak and talking quietly among themselves, while Rhys began to herd the new Light Warriors out of the cavern. It still might be his fate when his uncle found out the things that had been revealed to Leto.

The last thing he saw as he left the cavern with the other were his uncle and Cadewyn picking up the body and flashing away.

Fenris was quiet as they laid her body in the infirmary, his expression grim as he closed her eyes and sent a plea to Mythal for her soul. “This...could have been Leto.” he gasped.

“But it wasn’t,” Cadewyn said quietly. “He has survived. That’s what we need to remember.” 

“I know, do you wish to tell her family or shall I?” Fenris asked as he gazed at the woman, barely older than Lucen, her reddish hair reminded him of Varania in a way. “Hestiaus was strong, I thought she’d make it.”

“So did I,” Cadewyn admitted. “But we don’t know what the Creators will see in our hearts, or how we will deal with what we are shown.” He got to his feet. “I’ll tell them. It’s my duty.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in the Hall for the feast.” Fenris left with one final glance at the other elf before he joined the party. He noticed the way Leto turned away when he entered, almost as if he felt guilty when looked upon his uncle.

The dining hall was filled to bursting for the feast, but Lucen was conspicuously absent. His assigned chair next to Daer empty. She scowled down at the seat as if it offended her, and she could make Luce appear just by glaring at it.

Fenris came over to sit with his nephew, curious as to why he seemed so hesitant to look at him. “Well, how does it feel?”

Leto looked down at his brands. “Strange…” He flexed his arms. “I can feel them just under my skin and I know… I know they should hurt but they don’t.” 

“Actually they shouldn’t hurt at all. Mine did, but they were forced on me when I was cut up before. When I underwent the ritual, they no longer pained me.” Fenris said as he glanced at Leto’s markings. “I just hope your parents don’t kill me for letting you do this.”

“You’re not the one who needs to be fearing mother’s wrath,” Leto said wryly. His eyes slid over to where Lucen was supposed to be sitting. “Luce didn’t come.” 

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Fenris offered softly.

“No… There’d be no point. No one can force him to like me or be my friend. Talking to him would make him feel like you were trying to make him do something. We all know how that turns out.” Leto picked at his food. 

“You sound like me and Anders.” Fenris muttered in Antivan before he slipped in next to his nephew. After he chatted with those around them, he turned to Leto and asked who communed with him. “So...who met you?”

Leto froze, his hand paused in reaching for his wine glass. “We don’t have to tell anyone, correct?” 

“No, but I would think you could confide in me, nephew.” Fenris said quietly, his expression changed slightly as he picked up his own drink to mask his hurt.

“Fen’Harel,” Leto whispered. 

Fenris choked on his drink and dropped the goblet to the table as he struggled to speak, but fought to breathe.

Anders shot to his feet and hurried over to Fenris from his place at another table. He pounded on his husband’s back, his eyes searching Fenris’ face. “Love?” 

“He got his…” the elven fighter gasped as he finally took a deep breath and found his voice, then he began to laugh hysterically. “He did it, couldn’t have me, but he got Leto.” Fenris said as he tried to stand and get away from the table.

“This isn’t about you, Uncle,” Leto said, his eyes narrowing. “This isn’t about you at all.” 

“Stop it,” Anders whispered. “Just tell me what he’s--”

“Fen’Harel chose me,” Leto interrupted. “He chose me.” 

“That’s impossible.” Anders slowly straightened from where he had been half crouched behind Fenris. “He was imprisoned.”

“I'll explain later, I need to go lie down before I fall down. Oh, nephew...I’m so sorry,” Fenris said with an odd hitch in his voice like he was going to cry or start laughing again.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Uncle,” Leto said. “I’m sorry that you think there is.” 

Fenris just shook his head and stood straight. “You’ll change your mind once you hear the story. Forgive me, but I need to rest for a bit. Come by our room once you’re done celebrating.”

“Fenris…” Anders hurried after his husband. 

He stopped and waited for his husband to catch up, then he strode quickly towards their rooms. “Yes, my love?” he asked as they walked.

“I…” Anders didn’t know what to say. What could he say? He had thought that Fen’Harel had been sealed away by the Creators. How had he come to Leto and why? “How could they have allowed this?” he said instead.  
“Don’t...please. I really do need to lie down. I am confused and hurt and angry that he got Leto. Just, come with me and keep me company or leave me be for awhile.” Fenris said as they got into their rooms. He sat at the table and let his head hit the hardwood with a thump.

Anders went to a sideboard and poured Fenris a drink. he set the glass down next to the elf and sat down across from him. 

“Thanks,” Fenris downed it quickly then let his head drop to his hands. “How is that even possible?”

“That’s what i would like to know,” Anders replied. “It’s been so long that i thought… I thought that it was over with.” 

“Well the jokes on us, isn’t it?” Fenris said bitterly. “I’m going to tell him the whole story, not just select bits so he can understand why I’ve reacted as I have. He needs to know, but I never thought I’d have to tell anyone that tale.”

“Do you want me to be here for that?” Anders asked. He reached across the table and took Fenris’ hand in his own.

“Yes, please. I want you...I want you to tell your side as well so he can understand fully what happened.” Fenris squeezed Anders hand tight as he sat there.

“Then I will,” Anders assured him. “We’ll get him to understand the danger, and then we’ll see what we can do to stop whatever Fen’Harel has planned.”

“Thanks, I’m going to lay down until he arrives. Please wake me when he gets here.” Fenris muttered as he forced himself towards the bed.

Anders slid the glass over and took a drink. “I’ll stay here if you don’t mind. I need to think.” 

“Sure.” Fenris rolled onto his stomach and tried to sleep but it would not come to him. He finally gave up and turned to look at Anders. “Can’t sleep.” he mumbled in Ander.

“Then come drink with me,” Anders offered, nodding to his empty glass.

“Sure, might as well but don’t let me get drunk.” Fenris said as he joined Anders, his expression solemn as he contemplated his drink.

“Done.” Anders’ eyebrows drew down in thought. “We need Rhys. He’s the only other one that we know of that Fen’Harel has chosen as his own.”

“Yeah, maybe see if you can find him. I don’t trust myself to teleport right now.” Fenris mumbled.

Anders topped off Fenris’ drink and then took the bottle with him to put it back on the sideboard. “I’ll find him,” he said as he left.

Fenris sipped his drink slowly as he waited for Rhys and Anders to return, his mind drifting back to memories.

A knock came on his door, and the latch was opened, Leto peeking his head inside. “Uncle?”

“Come in” Fenris called.

Leto stepped the rest of the way inside and shut the door behind him. “You wanted to talk?” he ventured.

"Yes, once Anders and Rhys arrive, we can begin.,"

“Why? Why not speak to me now?” Leto crossed his arms over his chest, his markings shining a little in agitation.

"Fine, sit down and listen." Fenris poured them both a drink and began his story of how Fen'Harel had taken him willingly to stop Urthemriel and the Forgotten. He'd just gotten to when he'd been found out when the door opened.

“Uh…” Anders’ eyes darted between the two elves. 

Rhys had no such hesitation, walking past Anders and seating himself between Fenris and Leto.

“I’d just gotten to the battle between us, Urthemriel and the Forgotten, if either of you wish to take over while I refresh my drink?” Fenris said as he stood and headed for the sideboard.

So Rhys did, taking them through it and how Fenris had agreed to let Fen’Harel inside him in order to help save Thedas. For his part, Anders’ mood became darker and darker as Rhys spoke, reliving those memories was bad enough, but hearing them spoken out loud after so long brought them back fullforce. 

Fenris slipped in between his husband and Rhys, picking up the tale once he’d been discovered through being captured and kept caged until Anders figured out how to get Fen’Harel out for good. “Love...will you finish?” he asked quietly.

“I’ve heard enough, Uncle,” Leto said quietly. “I just have one question.” 

“What?” Anders asked. 

Leto stuck his thumb out and pointed at Rhys. “Did any of you ever suspect Rhys when this was going on? Did any of you ever question him because he’s also Fen’Harel’s chosen? Or is this special for me?” 

Fenris turned and stared at Leto in shock. “Suspect you? No one suspects you of anything. Rhys was right there when I was the one possessed by Fen’Harel. He was his chosen ages upon ages before any of us were born. How dare you?” Fenris hissed angrily, his markings flared bright as he tried to jump across the table, but was held back by his husband.

“So do you think I’m possessed now?” Leto watched as Fenris struggled against Ander’s hold around his waist.

“Choose your words carefully,” Rhys warned the boy.

“Choosing my words carefully isn’t what got me chosen, ser.”

“Let me go, Adelric, I’m going to teach him a lesson about speaking to his elders like he just did.” Fenris snarled as he tried to wriggle free. “Getting old if I can’t break your grip.” he snapped as he let Anders haul him back to his seat.

“No, you just don’t want to hurt me so you aren’t fighting as hard as you could,” Anders grunted. 

“Do you think I’m possessed, Uncle?” Leto repeated.

“You shouldn’t even have been able to commune with Fen’Harel, he was banished by Mythal nearly twenty years ago. I don’t know, I was walking around for months with no clue he had his claws in me and I grew up around all sorts of possession, blood magic and magisters. Anders can check, I’ve got no way to tell but you clearly have lost your mind if you think you will talk to me like that and get away with it.” Fenris snarled as he sank back in his chair and straightened his armor.

“Banished, but not killed,” Leto said softly. “And you can check all you want, but I’m not possessed.”

“I think we’re not asking the important question.” Rhys settled back in his seat and leveled a look at Leto. “What did the one who chose you speak to you of when you were chosen? We all get at least one chance to commune with those that choose us in the ritual. Fenris Mythal, you and I, Fen’Harel. So what did he speak to you of, Leto.” 

At this, Leto fell silent.

“Wolf got your tongue boy?” Fenris asked before he resumed drinking.

“Something’s coming,” Leto finally said. “Something that has even the Creators worried enough to let Fen’Harel free.”

“Like what?” Fenris asked bitterly. “Something worse than Urthemriel?”

“He said I would know it.” 

“Well that’s helpful,” Anders said snidely.

“Of course, of course he would say that.” Fenris huffed. “What do we do about this unknown thing that’s coming?” 

“He said that I had to be clever, or else everything as we knew it would end. He also said I would need everyone, especially Daer and Lucen.”

“We need to see if any of the other Creators gave the new Light Warriors similar warnings,” Rhys suddenly said.

“Just what we need, another fucking impossible battle. I thought we were done with that.” Fenris grumbled as he finished his drink. 

“You have to believe me, Uncle,” Leto pleaded. “He seemed almost frightened.”

“I bet he did,” Anders muttered.

“The only thing that frightened him was Mythal. Unless she’s the one to look out for, I doubt he was afraid. I believe you, that’s what frightens me, nephew.” Fenris rose and got his weapons ready. 

“I need to visit with Mythal, I want answers and as her chosen, I think I am able to request this of her.” Fenris stared at them all, his own fear gnawed at his mind as he tried to keep it hidden.

“She’s come to answer your questions before,” Anders said. “Be careful, love.”

“I’m going to question the others.” Rhys stood. “Leto, you stay here with Anders for now.” 

“If there is something going on, there’s no guarantee she’ll answer me. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” The elven warden left them and headed to the Light Warriors Hall, where each Creator had a space, where the chosen of that Creator could find quiet and attempt to speak with them. Fenris sat quietly, head bowed, mind blank as he hoped she would heed his call.

She appeared almost immediately. her form barely seen, and her voice whispering in his mind. “I know why you have sought me out, Leto.” 

“Then I beg of you, tell me what is coming? Why did you let him out and what must we do to stop this unknown evil?” Fenris pleaded.

“We needed his cunning,” Mythal said bluntly. “We needed his sense of riddles in order to finish what was started long ago. An Old God born into this world cannot be so easily separated from a soul. It changes that soul. Already it has begun.”

“Lucen, what is wrong with him? Do we need to get his parents, or Lord Kolvar, he was there when the Magisters stormed the Golden City. What do we do, my Lady?” Fenris asked, his voice calm despite how his heart hammered in his chest and his palms were suddenly slick with sweat.

She gave him a look full of sadness. “He must die before he completes his transformation into something that must not be.”

“No...no, please no. It will destroy his parents, me...any of us who care for him. Please tell me there is some other way Lady. I beg of you, anything, my life, my soul is yours for his. Please don’t say this.” Fenris trembled before Mythal, tears slipped down his face as he hoped for a better way.

“Fen’Harel thinks that he might be saved. He does not want to see the world burn. It is why he helped you before long ago, despite his ultimate reasons for his aid in the end. He wishes a return of the wild ways, but not the destruction and end to everything. We let him free to give you a chance to help the boy, but if you cannot, then he must die before it’s too late. Can you do this, my chosen?”

“I owe Aedan, Morrigan, all of them for what I did under Fen’Harel’s influence. He can use me again, just not Leto, please Mythal. Please, not them. They have so much to look forward to, their whole lives to live. I will give myself willingly to save those I love, tell me what you need and it is done.” Fenris pleaded with his patron, no shame in how he trembled and wept before Her.

“Then save him if you can. I know no other way other than death to release him now. We had hope what was done before would have saved him and prevented what was to come, but we were wrong.” She reached out and lightly touched Fenris’ head. “You are strong and you are my chosen. I am sorry I have no other answers for you. Fen’Harel’s chosen will be the one to save him. Fen’Harel came to him because he believes this.” 

“Yes my Lady. I will do all I can to make sure Lucen and the world is saved. I don’t feel strong right now, I feel so damned weak.” Fenris said hoarsely as he tried to find comfort in her touch. “Forgive me Lady, I am mortal and my heart, my soul is breaking at this revelation.”

“As is ours, Leto. I wanted to spare you this. Have faith, because faith in your loved ones will see you through this.” 

“Thank you Lady. I must tell them what I learned, may I return to you if I have more questions?” Fenris asked as he rose to his feet and gave her a bow.

“You may, my chosen.” she bent down and gave him a kiss on his forehead before she disappeared.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucen comes clean, Leto makes a choice, and Fenris faces the wrath of his sister and Zevran. It's nothing in the face of Aedan's anger though.

Leto paced restlessly between the table and the sideboard that held breakfast, tea and white wine for everyone summoned to the meeting. His brands flickered along with his mood.

Fenris watched Leto carefully, his gaze left his nephew only when the door opened and Lucen was dragged in by Anders and Cadewyn. 

Leto stiffened when his friend entered the room but he finally filled a plate and sat down next to his uncle as they waited for the others to arrive.

Rhys was the last to enter, shutting the door firmly behind him before he went to the large table and sat down without bothering to get himself a plate. He glanced from one face to another, but his eyes finally fell on Lucen.

“You’ve been keeping secrets,” he finally said.

“Excuse me?” Lucen replied. “I haven’t.”

“You have, Lucen.” Fenris pointed at the young human angrily. “We know that you were not fully relieved of the Old God’s soul. We know that you….that you...are not yet done with whatever Urthemriel demanded of your soul. We know, Lucen, just let us help you.” Fenris finished quietly.

After a beat of silence, Lucen muttered, “I can handle it.” 

“Bullshit,” Anders snapped. “You know that’s bullshit, Luce. You should have told me, told any of us.”

“The Void you can handle it. Mythal...she told me what has to happen if we can’t save you. We will not let you go like that.” Fenris snapped as he jumped up and slammed his fist on the table.

“You’re not dying on us, Luce, not while I still live. This thing can’t have you, we won’t let it.” Leto snarled, his anger making his markings flare. “How could you keep this from us, from me? I thought I was your friend, Luce? Why wouldn’t you let me help you?” Leto asked, hurt and bitterness colored his words as he tried to keep himself calm.  
“How did you find out?” Lucen asked as he tried to deflect. “Did Daer tell you? She said she would if I didn’t first.” 

“Mythal told me, the Creator that chose me. I told Leto, he deserved to know since you saw fit to hold this from us Lucen. Didn’t you think we could be trusted?” Fenris asked, his tone bitter as he sat back and pulled Leto into his seat.

“I was trying to protect all of you,” Lucen replied. “I’ve been dealing with this since I could remember. It’s only been the last year or so that--”

“Year or so?” Anders said in horror.

“A year? A year?” Leto screamed before he vaulted over the table to tackle Lucen. “A year we’ve trained, lived and fought together and you fucking lied to us? You lied to me? How could you, Luce?” Leto continued to punch at his friend, angry tears marred his face as he railed against the older boy.

Fenris said nothing, he merely watched and let Leto work out his anger. He glanced to Anders and then back at Rhys. “What now?”

“Uh… Shouldn’t we stop this?” Anders asked slowly. 

“Let them fight it out,” Rhys replied, unconcerned. “And we go and fetch Aedan and Morrigan from Weisshaupt.”

“No!” Lucen cried as he tried to fight Leto off. The markings had given the younger boy more strength than Lucen was used to from him. “You can’t tell them!”

“Oh we are, and you are in no position to demand anything of us. Take your lumps while I get your parents.” Fenris snapped as he slipped to the center of the room and disappeared in a crack of blue-white light; only to reappear in the entry hall to Weisshaupt.

Four Grey Warden guards immediately drew their swords on him, but lowered their weapons when they saw who it was. “Warden-Commander Iefyr,” one of them said in Ander. “We weren’t expecting you.”

“This is an unexpected visit, where is the First-Warden?” Fenris asked gruffly.

“Come with me, ser.” The other three guards fell back to guarding the main hall while the fourth took Fenris deeper into the fortress and towards Aedan’s study.

Fenris thanked the warden as he slipped in to see Aedan, grateful that Morrigan’s presence meant he wouldn’t have to find her as well. “Evening, unfortunately this is not a social call. We have a very big problem and I need you both in Arlathan, now.”

They both looked up from where they had been reading over a scroll, Morrigan glancing over Aedan’s shoulder. 

“Excuse me?” Aedan said. 

“Lucen,” Morrigan whispered. “What’s happened?”

“He was not truly freed from Urthemriel, and he’s been suffering silently for almost a year. It was not until Mythal revealed the truth to me that we understood how serious it was. He didn’t want me to get you, but this is not a lie I would abide. If you will allow me, I’ll take us back to Arlathan where the others are gathered.” Fenris clenched his fingers tight against his palm as he awaited Aedan’s reaction.

And he didn’t have long to wait. Aedan’s eyes abruptly became black as rage swamped him. He shot to his feet and slammed his fist down on his desk with a loud crack. Morrigan cursed under her breath and set her fingertips to his temples, heedless of the danger. Magic whispered in the room, and Aedan’s shoulders slumped, the black receding.

“Take us now,” she informed him. “Aedan can be brought back later to arrange for a more lengthy absence.”

“As you wish.” Fenris said quietly, his composure rattled at how quickly his friend had become enraged. He took Aedan’s hand and offered his other hand to her. “Let us away, and Cadewyn can return him once the meeting is done.” 

She nodded and they flashed away.

When they arrived back at the meeting, Lucen was back in his seat but sporting a bloody lip, while Leto was seated firmly in his chair between Rhys and Cadewyn. 

Lucen looked up and groaned. “Wonderful,” he muttered into his hand.

“Not one word, or I will be next. You’re lucky all you have is a busted lip.” Fenris snarled as he went to Anders side. He leaned over and whispered in the mage’s ear, then stood behind him for good measure. Even after twenty years, he still feared Aedan’s berserker rages.

Morrigan didn’t shout as he approached her son. She spoke a few words sharply in reproach in a language that was only spoken by those of the wilds. Lucen blanched and looked away.

Aedan wasn’t so silent.. He began to curse, his eyes growing black again, his voice guttural while he fought his rage. “A year? You of all people know how dangerous this can be and you didn’t tell us? What the fuck were you thinking! You should have told someone sooner, Luce. Damnit.”

“I can handle it!” Lucen shouted.

“The fuck you can!” Aedan yelled back.

Fenris jumped when his commander yelled, then peeked around Anders shoulder. “You can’t Lucen, Mythal told me what would happen if we failed. I will not lose you like that, and you can’t expect us to let you die.” the elven warden clapped his hand over his mouth when Aedan turned his dark gaze upon him.

“Yes Lucen, we know you’ll die. We’re not going to let that happen.” Leto threw in as he glared at the older boy. “We know the truth, the question is now what do we do to keep that from happening?” 

“I’m not going to die,” Lucen growled. “Why do all of you keep saying that?”

“Explain, Fenris,” Aedan rasped. “And do it quickly.” 

“Mythal said that in order to stop whatever Lucen is becoming thanks to whatever Urthemriel left behind in his soul, he would have to die. That is what she said Aedan, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I failed you, I’m sorry.” Fenris said as he finally came from behind Anders, unsure if he was going to meet his end at Aedan’s hand or if he would fall during the battle to come. Either way he couldn’t bear to look at his commander.

“No uncle, we’re not going to let him die. There’s a reason Fen’Harel chose me and it’s because I’m supposed to help Luce, just trust me, please.” Leto begged his uncle before he turned to his friend. “Please, let us help you. I don’t want to lose my best friend.”

“None of you have to do a thing,” Lucen said sharply. “I’ll take care of this myself if I have to.” 

Aedan rushed at Lucen then, grabbing him by the front of his tunic and hauling him up. “No one is going to die, least of all you,” he growled.

“Alright, none of us is being rational right now. How about Aedan and Morrigan, take Lucen and talk to him, then Aedan you should let Cadewyn take you back so you can make arrangements to be gone for a while. Morrigan thought of that as we came back here. Anders, you and Sirad revisit what you researched when I was ...occupied.”

Fenris snapped out orders to them all, his own temper frayed and unstable. “I’m going to convene with Rhys and perhaps Mythal again. Leto, go...with either Anders or Lucen if his parents allow it. Or talk to Daer, just don’t go out there looking like you are now. You’re a damned beacon to any mage within miles while your brands are lit up like that.” 

Without a word, Morrigan grabbed Lucen by the arm, sedan with the other hand, and hauled them out of the room, her back ramrod straight with anger.

“I almost feel bad for Luce right now,” Anders muttered.

“He brought that on himself by withholding it. I don’t feel bad for him at all, I’m worried about Leto.” Fenris replied as he pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “If my hair wasn’t already white from the lyrium, it would be turning right now.”

“Come on, Leto,” Anders said wearily. “Let’s go and get some food and have a talk.” 

“Thanks.” Fenris said tiredly as he turned to Rhys. “My office or yours?” 

Rhys reached for the wine. “Right here seems good,” he said as he raised the bottle.

“What are we going to do?” Fenris said as he slumped into one of the comfortable chairs he’d had brought from Vigil’s Keep as a reminder of his first home. “Aedan is going to lose his mind, Leto is a powder keg and I feel like this is my fault, like I could have done more when Fen’Harel had me.” 

“Fen’Harel does as he wills,’ Rhys answered as he took a sip of his wine. “He always has. But his intervention in this is troubling.” 

“The fact Mythal overturned her banishment bothers me. But what can we do Rhys?” Fenris sighed again as he pondered his friend and mentor. “I’m so tired, I thought we were done with world ending adventures by now.” 

“We are never done,” Rhys told him. “Not until the Creators say we are. I have accepted that as my fate. My question now is, do you trust Leto still?”

“Yes, it is Fen’Harel I do not trust. I told Mythal he could have me again if it meant Lucen would live, if it would prevent whatever was coming.” Fenris admitted quietly.

“And you shouldn’t trust Fen’Harel,” Rhys said. “His wants and needs are too wild. But you should trust those that he has chosen. If he wanted to do more he would just have taken over someone again. After all, he is free now. That he chose someone to be his warrior, means he needs us to listen to what is being said.” 

“Very well, I will have to just learn patience in regard to this. Come, let us take a walk, I need some fresh air and I have a feeling that Anders and Leto will be speaking for some time; as will Aedan, Morrigan and Lucen.” Fenris took a long pull of his drink then sat the empty glass down, his expression somber as he considered what they could be up against.

“Then I will go and fetch Varania and Zevran. They need to know what is happening with their child.” 

“You should bet on who will kill me first. Leto’s parents or Lucen’s. You know where my will is correct?” Fenris said as he glanced at Rhys then back at the dark wood of the table.

Rhys laughed and clapped Fenris on the back. “I’ll make sure it is up to date before I go.”

“I wasn’t kidding.” Fenris replied before he headed out to the gardens for a long walk, that would hopefully get his thoughts in order before they convened again that night.

**  
“Talk,” Morrigan demanded when they got to Lucen’s room and Aedan had slammed the door behind them. 

“What do you want me to say, mother?” Lucen asked. He stood his ground in the center of the room, his feet braced apart. 

“I want you to act as if I had taught you better, Lucen Cousland,” she replied sharply. “You know what’s at stake and yet you chose to hide this.”

“I chose to deal with it on my own.” Lucen crossed his arms over his chest. “I chose not to drag anymore people into my mess. I chose not to have anyone else die or sacrifice for me. I also have chosen to end things on my own terms if I lose control. I won’t have anymore blood on my hands or have mine on those I love. Don’t ask me to do that to all of you.”

Morrigan whirled around and glared at Aedan. “This is your doing. All of this self sacrificing, he must have gotten it from you.” 

Lucen rolled his eyes. “It’s not his fault for setting a good example, mother.”

“This is not a good example!” she cried. “This is foolishness. You speak of sacrifice, but you ignore the ones we have made for you, the ones _I_ have made for you. We love you and you have no idea how lucky you are in that love. I had its lack as a child, and I did not know what I had been missing until I had you. Do not do this. Let us help you.” 

Aedan stood silent, and his hands bunched and unclenched repeatedly as he fought his anger. “The other thing about love,” he finally said, his voice a growl, “is that sometimes we help those we love even if they don’t think they need it, even though they might get angry at us for it. We do it because we see how deep in the pit they are, and know they need a rope and a helping hand because they cannot climb out on their own. We can see how deep the pit is from our vantage point, where you think you can climb out with no problems. Take the fucking help, Luce. Because you’re getting it whether you want it or not.”

Tears stung Lucen’s eyes and he closed them rather than let them fall. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” he whispered.

”We’ll hurt a lot more if we do nothing,” Aedan said. 

Lucen turned and went to a chair, sitting down heavily on it, and burying his face in his hands. “What do you need to know?” he mumbled.

“Everything,” Morrigan said in relief. “Tell us everything.” 

**  
Lucen wasn’t the only one to have his parents brought to Arlathan. Soon after Fenris and Rhys parted ways after their silent walk, Fenris went and fetched Varania and Zevran from Minrathous. 

When they appeared in Arlathan, Varania spoke one word. “Where?” 

“My sitting room,” Fenris was able to get out before she was off, leaving her brother and Zevran to chase after her. 

Leto paced while he roamed around in the sitting room of his uncle's quarters. He'd refused drink or food while they spoke. His fuming was interrupted by the sound of his parents shouting as they came in.

Varania gasped as she took in her son's appearance, then whirled on her brother as he entered behind them. "We entrusted you with him, and this is what happened?"

“This isn’t his fault,” Leto protested. “I chose this, mother.”

Zevran touched his finger to his lips, telling his son to be silent.

"Varania..." Fenris,' words died in his throat at the look he got from his sister. 

"Save it, leave us brother while we have a chat with our child." She glared daggers at her sibling while she waited for him to go.

Moving away from the door, Zevran placed his hands behind his back nonchalantly, and began a slow circuit around the room, his eyes moving over every item, the picture of unconcern.

Fenris dipped his head in apology. He let out a shaky breath as he headed away from the room.

"She's going to murder me when she's done with Leto." Fenris muttered. He wandered to where he hoped Anders was, his composure shaken at Varania’s fury.

“Mother,” Leto objected when Fenris had left. I…” He trailed off when he saw Zevran furiously shaking his head in order to get his son to be silent.

“We left you in my brothers care, and he let you join the Light Warriors? We let you go because we thought it would be good for you to get out of the Keep. We let you go because we didn’t want to stifle you, and this, this is what happens when we let you out of our sight for a few weeks? What do you have to say for yourself Leto Arainai?” Varania screeched as she advanced on her son, mindless of the face she had to look up to stare him in the eye.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t do this to hurt you, mother.” 

Behind Varania, Zevran sighed in resignation.

“I didn’t say you did it to hurt me, Leto. Just… why this? Why not the Wardens?” she said quietly.

“Because I felt it was the right thing to do,” Leto answered honestly. “And uncle did try to talk me out of it. He tried for days. Cadewyn trained me harder than anyone else too. I think he was hoping I would give up. I had to fight for the right with everyone.” 

Varania threw up her hands in defeat and found a nearby chair to settle in. “So what now? I take it you’re not coming back to the Keep?”

“I… There’s more,” Leto sighed and sat back down as well.

“Enough that they finally chose to get us for something that is worse than you becoming a Light Warrior,” Zevran surmised. 

Leto rubbed at his eyes and nodded. 

“Out with it, then perhaps I can keep myself from strangling your uncle.” Varania said tiredly.

So Leto told them what he could, starting from the moment that he had been finished examining his life and when Fen’Harel showed up, finishing with Lucen acknowledging to them that he had been dealing with this threat on his own. 

“I’m meant to help him,” Leto explained. 

“Meant to die as well you mean? What the Void is it with our family and destiny?” Varania muttered tiredly. “What needs to be done?”

“Right now?” Leto said in relief that some of his mother’s anger had been spent. “I’m not sure. Luce won’t even accept our help.”

“Of course he wouldn’t, yes?” Zevran sighed, speaking for the first time. “Has Aedan and Morrigan been informed?”

“I think so, I’d guess that if we were summoned, then they were since it involves Lucen.” Varania pulled herself up and poured out three glasses of wine. “You were adult enough to make that choice, might as well let you make other decisions.” she murmured before she handed Zevran a glass as well.

“They’re here. Aedan was… angry,” Leto said with a small shudder.

“I can imagine, no?” Zevran took a small sip of his wine. “Now… I believe I have someone to speak to. Two of them in fact. Have a nice visit with your mother, I will be back.” 

“Where are you going Zev?” Varania asked as she noted the way he walked, that casual strut that meant trouble if you knew him well enough.

“To speak with your brother and Cadewyn, yes?” Zevran called back. “I entrust someone with my son, and I am kept in the dark.”

“Father, wait!” Leto cried.

“Zevran, please...you have that look in your eyes and I don’t want bloodshed within hours of our arrival. Are you going to kill him?” Varania asked, her own gaze worried. For all her rage, she hadn’t planned to actually hurt her sibling.

“I will not kill him,” Zevran said quietly. 

“This would have happened regardless,” Leto shouted. “I was meant for this, father. If you want to be angry at anyone, then be angry at me.” 

“Leto, just let it go. Your father won’t be satisfied until he has his say. We’ll go find Aedan and Morrigan, hopefully they will receive us while your father does as he wills.” Varania felt spent as she finished her wine and rose to leave.

Without another word, Zevran left the room, his son watching the door close behind him helplessly. “No one should be blamed for this,” he muttered.

** 

Fenris had retreated to one of the small groves near the Light Warrior’s practice field. It was one of the few places no one could find him, or so he thought when he heard the snap of twigs that signaled someone’s approach.

“I wanted my son to have a better life than I did, yes?” Zevran said as he slipped out of the shadows. No one heard him unless he wished for them to, the stepping on a twig a warning. “By the time I was his age, I had killed many times over.”

Fenris swallowed and closed his eyes as he let Zevran have his say, his only reply another apology as he waited for his friend’s anger to be let loose on him.

“If he wanted to join the Grey Wardens, or become anything he wished in a few more years, I would not stand in his way. I do not stand in his way now. I have done my best to teach him the skills I know, and I trust his instincts. But to not inform us of what was happening, Fenris… To not come to us and tell us that there was a chance we might lose Leto to madness or death.” His voice was quiet, but some of his Antivan accent was beginning to slip through in his anger.

“I have no excuse Zevran, I have failed you all by failing to contact you, and I accept your anger with me.” Fenris finally stood and faced the other elf, his gaze on the ground in contrition, and his posture tense in anticipation of a blow or further angry words.

“My son could have died,” Zevran hissed. “He could have died from something that I had not prepared him for, and still might. Your sister and I would not have known until it was too late that he was in danger. Cadewyn and any other who knew of what was happening is equally to blame for my anger. I am not foolish enough to think that it could have been stopped or any of you could have prevented it. Leto knows how to get what he wants.” A smile finally curled his lips. “Although only if he’s thinking calmly. He can twist words as well as I.” 

“I know, I’m sorry, Zevran, I’m sorry.” Fenris pleaded as he held himself away from the other elf. 

“Never again, Fenris,” Zevran added. “Never again will I be kept in the dark about my son. If you know something, you share it with me yes?”

“Yes, ser.” Fenris said before he dared to look at Zevran, fearful he’d broken their friendship and worst his friends trust in him.

“Leto mentioned that Aedan was angry when he found out?” Zevran asked, changing the subject. His friend had apologized and promised to never do it again, as far as he was concerned, it was done.

“About him keeping secrets? Yes, Morrigan had to put him to sleep so we could travel back.” Fenris looked down again, unsure what else he could say.

Zevran held out his hand. “Come, my friend. Let’s seek out Aedan and calm him. Then we can plan how to save these young men from themselves.”

“I am afraid of Aedan, how angry he will be for not seeing through Lucen as well. Better you go without me.” Fenris glanced everywhere but at Zevran.

“Come now,” Zevran insisted. “Aedan would never hurt one of us. You know this. We will be fine, yes?”

“Are we, fine?” Fenris asked as he finally uncurled himself and stood up straight, though he still feared some kind of reaction from Zevran.

“We are fine,” Zevran nodded. “Besides, you were not the only one who kept this from us. Anyone of you could have come to us, yes? I will speak with the others later. But you and I have no anger between us.” 

“Alright, let’s go then.” Fenris replied and waited for Zevran to lead the way back to the main hall and hopefully a calmer Aedan.

**  
They did find a much calmer Aedan, but the irritation could still be simmering in the First Warden. He drummed his fingers on the table as he waited for Lucen to speak, Zevran at his side, while Lucen sat next to his mother, and Fenris stood next to a sideboard.

"Have you come to any decisions, Lucen?" Fenris asked as he glanced at everyone in the room, then back to the young man before them.

Lucen pressed the heel of his palm into his forehead. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I should’ve told someone. If… If you can help me I need it.” 

"What has been happening to you, Luce? Dreams, anything you can tell us will help." Fenris asked.  
“Dreams,” Lucen confirmed. “I dream of destruction. I dream of power. I dream of--”

“Becoming a god,” Morrigan finished. “Oh, Luce…”

"Maker..." Fenris whispered. "We have to do something."

“There is more, is there not?” Zevran asked astutely. 

“Luce…” Aedan asked. Concern for his son kept his rage at bay, but he could feel how it had spiked for a moment at the thought that there might be more. 

"Tell us everything, the more you hide the harder it will be to assist you Luce." Fenris went around and got wine for everyone before he took his seat. 

"All of it, leave nothing out Lucen."

Lucen pulled up his tunic, revealing his abdomen. He touched his fingers to his skin and drew them upwards, magic whispering in the air as the glamour he had been using receded. Flesh and hair melted away to dark scales. 

When they had first appeared he had become frightened of what it meant for him and those around him. He still remembered the people who had died, who had been hurt all to get a hold of him. So he had hid it and watched in helplessness as the scaling had spread. Shame filled him and he closed his eyes when his mother gasped in horror, and his father’s chair slammed back against the floor, falling over when Aedan had shot to his feet with a curse.

"Mythal save us..." Fenris said as he went to his charge. "Lucen...I'm sorry I failed you." the eleven warrior murmured as he tried to comfort the young man.

"How long until...? Fenris whispered as he looked at Lucen instead of away in fear.

Lucen shook his head. “I don’t know. I wish I did. I keep thinking that i can handle it, that it isn’t as bad as it looks. But then there are days when I know that… When I know that I don’t have much time left and all I want is to grab what I can before it… I thought Daer might…” He broke off, as he fought to put his actions and feelings of the past several months into words. “I thought she might be a chance to have something before anything happened to me. I knew it wasn’t right, but I just wanted so bad. And now when Leto thinks he feels something for me, and I couldn’t let him do it, Fenris. I couldn’t let him see.”

"Do you think he would care?" Fenris asked

“Daer loves me like a brother,” Lucen answered. “I knew that. I’ve always known that. Even if she had wanted to be with me, it would have been superficial, safe for me. Leto on the other hand… It would have been more than that to him, and I’d have been discovered.” 

“Much has gone on while you three have been away it seems,” Zevran mused. 

“Daer would have found you out,” Morrigan added. “And she would have been just as hurt, and wanted just as much to help you.” 

Lucen dropped his head into his hands. “I know. I know.”

“You haven’t been thinking clearly.” Aedan sighed and clapped his hand on his son’s shoulder. “But you have help now.” 

“Neither of them would have turned on you, Lucen, they care for you as do we all.” Fenris said before he sat back down by Zevran.

“There are times when I find myself thinking things I know aren’t true.” Lucen replaced the glamour and lowered his shirt. “I keep getting so angry and I’m suspicious of everyone and their motives.” 

“We will help you Luce, and you can start by letting Daer and Leto know the full truth, ugly as you might find it.” Fenris told him. “If you wish, I will get them.”

“No!” Lucen clenched his hands into fists on the table. “I can’t let them--”

“They deserve to know,” Morrigan insisted. “Leto is ready to do whatever is required of him to save you. The least you could do is give him the truth in return.” 

“Yeah… All right, go and get them.” He had been hiding for so long, that the thought of his friends finding out terrified him. Lucen slid a glance over to his father and mother. But his parents had taught him to face the things that frightened him. He hadn’t been doing that, and look where it had gotten him now.

“It will be alright, they are your friends Lucen, and will not forsake you. If Leto didn’t run screaming from the room after I told him the story of Fen’Harel using me, he’ll stay at your side.” Fenris pressed a gentle kiss on the young mage’s forehead then left in search of the other teenagers.

“Come, my Aedan,” Zevran urged. “I have not seen you for months, yes? And we should give them time alone to work this out.” 

Morrigan rose as well, giving Lucen a kiss on top of his head before the three of them left Lucen alone in the room with his thoughts.

Fenris found Leto and Daer with Anders in their sitting room, Varania was sitting off to the side with a glass of wine as she watched the fire. 

“Leto, Daer come with me.” he said quietly.

“What is it, uncle?” the younger elf asked with trepidation even as he rose to follow Fenris out.

“Fenris, I’ll expect to see you at the evening meal,” Varania called out as the two young elves left with Fenris.

He rolled his eyes at his sibling and led the two young elves out towards the room where Lucen remained. He opened the door and let them in, unsure if he should remain to make sure they heard the full story. “Can I trust you to be honest with them, Luce? Or do you wish me to remain?”

“Finally,” Daer said with satisfaction.

“I can do this on my own,” Lucen answered. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his friends. 

“I will ask them later, we’ll see you all at dinner. Just come to our room if you need anything before then.” Fenris gave them each a long look before he left, the door shutting behind him with a soft click.

The silence that fell on the room was oppressive. It became even more so when Lucen glanced up to see Daer’s smirk.

“You don’t have to look so happy about this,” he muttered.

“Oh, but I do,” she said.

“No, you don’t. Let’s just get the truth out Lucen. Uncle looked like he was ready to drink himself into a hole, you don’t look much better and the fact that everyone’s parent’s are here means this is some serious shit. So out with it already.” Leto folded his arms and glared at his friend, his feelings were still tender but his concern for Luce overrode it for the moment.

Luce told them everything he had told his parents. When he got to the point of lifting his tunic to remove the glamour, he kept his eyes down on the slow reveal of the spell being stripped away.

Leto gasped but didn’t react as strongly as his parents. He went to his friend and hugged him close, uncaring of the scales or what he may have looked like without it. “We’ll save you ok? We won’t let this continue.” the younger elf sniffed as he held on to the older boy.

Lucen allowed himself a moment to close his eyes and feel Leto’s warmth seeping into his skin before he gently pushed him away. “Thank you,” he rasped.

“I knew there was something more to it,” Daer said primly. “But I also knew if I pushed too hard you would clam up. You should have told us, Luce.”

“He’s told us now, let’s just go forward ok?” Leto said as he found a chair and fell into it more than sat down. 

“I don’t know how to go forward,” Lucen admitted. He gestured to himself. “What am I?”

“What are any of us?” Daer answered. “You are Lucen Cousland, pain in my ass. We can figure out the rest as we go.”

“You know, Daer, name calling isn’t going to help.” Leto said tiredly. “Maybe we should find our parents, see what they think or maybe just take a damned nap until dinner. I feel like Cadewyn took me out back with a sack of iron ore pellets.”

“Is it name calling if it’s the truth?” Daer asked. “But you’re right. It won’t do any good now. I just wanted you both to know I was right.” 

Lucen snorted in amusement. “You were right, Daer.” He lowered his tunic, but this time he didn’t replace the glamour. What was the point anymore?

“Whatever, I’m going to take a nap. I’ll see you both at dinner.” Leto snapped as he headed for the door.

“I’m sorry, Leto,” Lucen called out. “I really am. I didn’t want to hurt either of you.” 

The younger elf didn’t turn or answer, instead he left in a hurry so neither of his friends could see the way his expression changed at Lucen’s words. “Too late, Luce, far too late.” he whispered as he shut the door to his room, yanked the covers back and fell forward into a restless sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One day, one day with nothing happening was apparently too much to ask for. Lucen is more level headed than the adults, Leto is still a hot head and things go very badly for the boys.

He was burning. Fire licked at his scales, caressing him with flame. Lucen let it come, embracing the fire and the power that came with it, allowing it to fill him to overflowing, until his mouth parted in a scream.  
He shot upright in his bed, sweat slicking his skin as he gasped for breath, the scream dying on his lips. Dawn light filtered in through the curtains in his room, and he blinked rapidly as he tried to force his mind to the here and now. 

It was one week after he had finally confessed to much of what was happening with him, and few answers had been found. His father had gone with Cadewyn to Ferelden and other places in order to ask people they could trust if they had some insight, while his mother and the other mages were scouring the Arlathan library for any hint on what was happening to him.

Leto had heard Lucen’s scream as he passed by, unsure if he should stop. Concern finally won over the hurt that still simmered in his heart as he knocked and called to Lucen. 

“You awake?” he asked instead of how the other boy was, since the answer was pretty damned far from alright.

Lucen scrubbed at his face with his hands. “Yeah… Come in,” he called back. Company was just what he needed in order to get his mind off of yet another nightmare.

Leto entered and stopped about three steps into the room when he realized Lucen was naked as the day he’d been born. “I can wait till you’re dressed.” he said as his mouth went dry and a thousand very wrong thoughts whipped through his head.

Glancing down at his bare chest and the way the sheet draped over his waist and legs, Lucen gathered the material around his hips and stood. “Sorry, I’ll be just a moment.” He turned to his dresser and the sheet gaped open, showing a strong thigh and ass cheek.

“I...I’ll be outside until you’re decent.” Leto said in a rough whisper and exited so quickly the door slammed behind him. He stared at the ceiling and counted backwards as he waited for Lucen to let him back in.

It wasn’t long before the door opened and Lucen stepped out into the hall. His fingers were at the laces of his breeches, while he held his tunic up under his chin. The scaling could be seen clearly, but so could the trail of dark hair.

“I heard you as I passed by, I just wanted to check on you before I went to breakfast.” Leto said as he looked everywhere but at the other boy.

Finished with his laces, Lucen let his tunic fall back down. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.” 

“It’s no bother, if you’re alright. I’ll be on my way.” Leto said as he glanced around, hopeful anyone would come by and rescue him from the awkward moment he was trapped in.

“I’ll come with you,” Lucen offered. “I could use the company if you’re willing.” 

“Free world, I can’t stop you.” Leto muttered before he finally turned to face Lucen with a tired grin. “Sure, maybe it will give me enough time to enjoy my meal before I’m dragged off to train.” 

“At least you get to train,” Lucen sighed. “I miss it. They won’t let me near a sword and I’m not allow to use magic right now. What kind of shit is that?” 

“Don’t know, did you ask why?” Leto said as he headed off to the dining hall.

“Are you alright, Leto?” Lucen asked while he followed. “Your face is red.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” the younger boy replied, his desire to ignore the blush that crept up his face and neck almost made him run ahead of his friend.

“I’ve been so wrapped up in myself, that I haven’t even gotten a chance to congratulate you and see how you’re doing.” Lucen easily matched the young elf’s strides. “I’ve been a bad friend.”

“I’m fine, it’s hard work and I think mom’s head finally isn’t ready to pop off in anger when she sees me.” Leto demured as they walked.

Lucen winced in sympathy. “At least that’s something. I like your markings by the way. I think they suit you.” 

“Thanks, not sure what I expected but they are nice I suppose. At least it didn’t hurt like uncle’s.” Leto said softly as they entered the hall finally, he took the chance to fill his place and find a spot to sit so they could talk without too much interruption.

Lucen gulped down his tea in an attempt to finish waking up before he started in on his meal. “The dreams are getting worse,” he said quietly, his eyes darting from side to side to make sure they weren’t overheard.

“Did you tell your parents?” Leto asked just as quietly.

Lucen nodded slowly. “Had to. Can’t keep secrets anymore. That’s when i was banned from using magic.” 

“Maybe after breakfast you should talk to them, or see Anders so he can note the change in your dreams.” Leto offered. He was worried his friend was going to fully change before they found an answer.

“Yeah… But you know what I really want right now?” Lucen asked as he picked at his meal.

“No, tell me, Luce.” Leto asked quietly.

“To get the fuck out of Arlathan for a little bit. I’m idle and I hate it. We could go to Kirkwall for a bit, see Hawke and Cullen. I just need to get away from the stillness and the pitying looks.” Lucen dropped his fork on his plate as he gave up trying to eat.

“If I go with you, do you think they’ll let you go?” Leto asked carefully.

“That’s what I’m hoping. But honestly, I’m hoping you come with me whether they let us go or not. You know what I’ve been doing all day for a week? I sit in my room and wait.”

That made Leto hesitate. “I don’t want to get in trouble Luce, your father is terrifying when he’s angry. I don’t want to ...get in trouble; not so soon after joining the Light Warriors. I’ll be with you, please let’s get permission first.” the younger elf pleaded.

Lucen held up his hands. “All right, I don’t want to worry you anymore than I have been. let’s go find someone and ask.” 

“Your folks, mine, your uncles? Who do we ask?” Leto replied, relieved his friend didn’t push the issue of just heading off permission or no.

“Who’s least likely to say no?” Lucen sighed. 

“Anders.” Leto replied with no hesitation.

“Anders,” Lucen agreed with a grin. “Let’s go.”

**  
“You want to what now?” Anders asked when the two boys had cornered him in the infirmary. He had a space for himself in order to do some research. Books and scrolls were piled haphazardly before him on a desk, and his fingers were stained with ink.

“Go to Kirkwall,” Lucen repeated. “I’m going insane here, Anders. I feel trapped.”

“I’ll be with him, and the first sign of trouble we’ll come back. Please uncle Anders.” Leto pleaded. He even gave his human uncle the same guileless look his own uncle had taught him.

Anders rolled his eyes to the ceiling, pleading for mercy. “Maker help me,” he groaned. “Can you even teleport yet?” he asked Leto.

“Um, sort of. Uncle Fenris has been teaching me. Please, we wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important. Please uncle Anders?” Leto begged.

“The moment that there’s any trouble, you get him out of there and back here, do you understand me?” Anders pointed at each boy in turn. “And if I get in trouble for letting you two go, I’m taking it out on you. I don’t think it’s right to keep anyone locked up for their own good. Just swear to me that you won’t use magic, Luce.” 

“I swear,” Lucen readily agreed. 

“I’ll make sure he keeps his word uncle Anders. THank you so much, we’ll go after I check in with Cadewyn, so he won’t wonder where I went, unless you could tell him?” Leto asked hopefully.

“Oh, no,” Anders said. “You get the honors of that.” 

“Alright, alright.” Leto gave him a smile then on impulse hugged Anders before he turned to go. 

“Just to Kirkwall!” Anders called after them.

“Yes, ser!” Lucen saluted and followed Leto out.

“Yes ser!” Leto parroted then tugged Lucen by the hand down the hall. “Yes, freedom finally!”

“Thanks for doing this,” Lucen said with a laugh. “Maker I need to get out of here.” 

“Anything for you Luce.” Leto said as he dropped the other boys hand, his face a little red as he realized what he’d done. “Come on, I need to find Cadewyn.”

“I’ll go and get my stuff and meet you in the courtyard.” Lucen purposefully brushed his fingers against Leto’s hand, wanting a return of the warmth. “Good luck.” 

“Um...thanks.” Leto said, careful not to get his hopes up at the tentative touch. “See you in a bit.” he ran off, until he found his mentor. 

“Apologies for being late Captain, but I won’t make drills today. I’ve been given permission to accompany Lucen to the city. If I can’t go, he can’t and he’s going a bit mad being locked up all day.” Leto gave his commander a brief smile, then stood at attention.

Cadewyn blinked. “Who gave permission?” 

“Anders, ser.” 

“Good choice for you boys to ask. Anders would be most sympathetic to being locked up for something that wasn’t Lucen’s fault,” Cadewyn said with a pointed look. “Don’t abuse his compassion. Keep yourselves safe.” 

“Yes ser, we will. I’m to keep Lucen safe while we get out and relax. We’ll come back at the first sign of trouble ser. Thank you.” Leto saluted and waited to be dismissed.

Cadewyn waved Leto off with one last warning. “Make sure you both are back by the evening meal.”

“Yes ser!” Leto bounded off to get his weapon and meet up with Lucen. He waved at the older boy, his mood was light and he was glad Lucen trusted him enough to accompany him.

Lucen wore light armor and he had his sword strapped to his back, and a short staff at his waist. He raised his arms when Leto approached. “Freedom!” he cried with a laugh. “Let’s get out of here before they realize they made a mistake.” 

“Not so loud Luce, the last thing we need is uncle Fenris finding us and telling us no.” Leto said as he fell in with the taller human and steered them towards the stables. “We’re expected back by dinner, so let’s take horses.”

There was a single horse left that hadn’t already been spoken for. Lucen climbed on and held out his hand for Leto to take.

The elven boy paused and stared at the horse, his friend and then at Lucen’s hand like he didn’t know what it was. “I...might walk then.” 

“We don’t have much time to make it to the city,” Lucen said. “Come on, Leto. I’m a good rider.” 

“Alright.” Leto let himself be pulled up and right in front of Lucen. He tried not to flinch as he felt Luce’s arm wrap around his waist, and he was slightly grateful that he wasn’t behind the older boy. “Ready.” he choked out.

“Let’s get the Void out of here,” Lucen whooped and the horse shot out of the gates.

Leto held on to the saddlehorn as they raced towards Kirkwall, glad their pace meant Lucen couldn’t try to chat with him. He just hoped that the other boy didn’t notice his discomfort once they dismounted. Riding with Lucen pressed against him was torturous, on the one hand he enjoyed the contact but on the other he knew it meant nothing.

“So what should we do in Kirkwall?” Lucen said into Leto’s ear. “I know I said we should visit Hawke and Cullen, but I kinda want to do other things.”

“Like what?” Leto asked as he fought not to moan at teh sound of Lucen’s voice, so deep and strong like his father’s right in his ear.

“I want to go to the Hanged Man. I’ve heard so much about it, but I’ve never been there before.” The horse took a curve in the road, and Lucen automatically adjusted, his arm tightening around Leto, and bringing thighs together to keep him steady.

“The Maker hates me, I know this to be true now.” Leto said instead of answering his friend. “If you exist, please take me right now.”

“What?” Lucen asked. “You okay, Leto?”

“Yeah, fine. Riding just doesn’t agree with me.” the younger elf said as they went on.

“Should we stop and take a break then?” Lucen asked as he slowed the horse down.

“No, let’s not waste time. I’ll be fine once we get to the city, besides I won’t want to get back on if we take a rest.” Leto lied as smoothly as his father when he wanted to, even though he felt bad for it.

Lucen tensed his thighs and leaned forward, his chest pressing against Leto’s back, to urge the horse on again. “Then let’s go!”

The elven boy held on as they galloped on towards the city, his eyes closed and his mind on the most unappealing things he could think of until they reached Kirkwall.

When they got to the stables just beyond the gates of the city, Lucen dismounted first and then held his hands out to help Leto get down.

“Thanks Luce.” the elven mage helped settle the horse in with the stable boy then turned to his friend, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes at the ready. “Hanged Man then?”

“Let’s go.” Lucen threaded his fingers with Leto’s and tugged the other boy down the street.

Leto didn’t yank his hand free though he wanted to. His heart was torn by the sudden casual touching. It bothered him because he knew Lucen didn’t see him like that, and each brush against the other boy made his heart break just a bit more.

“Was there anything you wanted to see while we’re in the city?” Lucen asked, the two of them weaving through the crowds.  
“Not really, whatever you want to do, Luce, is fine with me.” Leto answered as he was tugged down the street and towards the Hanged Man.

“I want you to have fun on this date,” Lucen said. “So if you think of something that you’ve been wanting to see, then tell me.”

That word brought Leto up short. “D...Date?” he said stupidly as he stopped in the middle of the dirt street, his expression one of surprise.

“Well yeah…” Lucen turned. “I mean.. I did ask you out and… Oh, Maker, I forgot to mention that’s what this was didn’t I? I was so happy you were coming with me and that we could go that I forgot. So stupid,” he muttered the last to himself.

“But you said you didn’t want me like that.” Leto blinked, unsure if he’d heard Lucen correctly or maybe he was trapped in some dream, he was actually back at Arlathan and he was going to wake up, alone and confused.

“I know, I’m sorry. If you don’t want to try this, then I’ll understand. We can just hang out and have some fun as friends. But I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past week, and I realized that i was pushing you away because I didn’t want you to find out what I was… becoming. You know now, Leto. You know and you haven’t abandoned me yet.” 

“A date...all this time of wanting, I thought, I thought...Maker.” Leto shook his head at himself, then started to laugh. “I’m so fucking stupid, of course I’ll try. I’ve been pining over you forever Luce, I’d be an idiot to turn you down. Next time just tell me, I thought you were just having me on.” the elven boy had laughed until tears rolled down his face. He wiped them away, then took Lucen’s hand in his before he led them to the inn.

‘Sorry,” Lucen murmured again. “I’m really not very good at this sort of thing. I’m used to just whispering a few words and getting someone into bed.” He winced. “Shouldn’t have said that. Let’s pretend i didn’t say it.”

“You don’t even have to whisper a few words to me. Ask and I’ll be there.” Leto said with a devious smile. He led them into the inn and found a corner spot where they could watch the room and not let anyone sneak up on them. 

Lucen was the one to go to the bar and order their drinks. He could feel Leto’s eyes watching his back, and he grinned to himself. He could do this and not screw it up. He was just thankful Leto had forgiven him for being so inept. 

The elven boy took his ale and sipped it slowly as he pondered what made Lucen change his mind and how he could not mess things up between them. “Thanks for the drink. Dad is going to laugh at us once we tell him. Fenris and Anders will probably yell at us for being so dense.” Leto laughed honestly that time, glad for whatever had changed Luce’s mind about him.

“Yeah? Just don’t tell them how I screwed it up,” Lucen pleaded. “Zev is always saying I can be dense about these things like my dad, and i don’t want him to have anymore ammunition.”

“Father doesn’t need any, he can read people like a book within moments of meeting them. It’s frightening.” Leto relaxed finally as they sat and talked for a bit longer. “This isn’t that impressive, I don’t understand what uncle has been going on about the place for.”

“Maybe your uncle likes it for the colorful and witty owner of the place?” came a voice from behind him.

The dwarf’s hair was shot with a few strands of silver but other than that, there was no sign Varric Tethras had been around Kirkwall for the last twenty five years. 

“Serrah Tethras, my uncle has spoken fondly of you.” Leto said with a bow.

“Oh, I doubt that,” Varric said with a wink. “But it was kind of you to say it all the same.” 

“Hey, Varric,” Lucen said, lifting his tankard in salute. 

“You know him Luce?” Leto asked in surprise.

“Father took me to visit Kirkwall a few times in order to meet with the wardens here. He would never let me come to the Hanged Man, though.”

“And look at you now, all grown up and drinking the finest ale in the Free Marches,” Varric said with a laugh.

“I feel so young right now.” Leto muttered.

“Better than feeling old,” Varric replied wryly. He took a seat at their table. “Now, mind telling me what you boys are doing here?”

“Lucen wanted to get out of Arlathan for a bit, and I came with him.” Leto demurred, unsure if he should say they were on a date.

“We’re on a date,” Lucen blurted a moment later. 

“Uh huh…” Varric eyed them both. “So you decided to come here for a date? Well done. Your parents know you’re here?” 

“I’m not a kid,” Lucen grumbled. 

“Uncle Fenris and Anders, and Captain Cadewyn. We’re old enough to be on our own, ser.” Leto replied.

“Hey,” Varric held his hands up, “I’m not judging. Well… not that much anyway. Have fun then, boys. Tell your uncle I said, hello, Not-Broody. You too, Baby-Cousland.” With a jaunty wave he got up and disappeared back up the stairs next to them.

“He was totally judging us, and that nickname, ugh.” Leto said as he finished off his drink. “Come on, let’s visit Hawke and Cullen since we don’t have much time before we need to get going.”

Lucen held up his finger and drained the rest of his tankard. He set it down with a thunk. “Then let’s go, Not-Broody.” 

“As you wish, _Baby Cousland_.” Leto said with a smirk reminiscent of his uncle.

Lucen snorted in amusement and then came out into the street and a light drizzle of rain. “You know, we don’t have to go and visit Hawke and Cullen,” he said. 

“What do you suggest instead?” Leto asked as he glanced up at the grey skies.

“A place that Aunt Leliana told me about,” Lucen grinned. 

“I’m not going to the Chantry.” Leto replied without turning.

“There’s something I want to show you there, though,” Lucen said, his smile dropping. “But if you don’t want to go…”

“I wasn’t exactly picturing the Chantry if you asked me to get on my knees later. We can go, since it’s important to you Luce.” Leto offered his hand and turned towards the rebuilt Chantry.

Lucen choked from behind Leto. “You pictured…” 

“Remember who told you more about sex than you thought possible.” Leto grinned like his daddy then tugged the larger human boy by the hand. “Come on, now I’m just curious.”

“Now I’m curious too,” Lucen mumbled as he was led towards the chantry and up the long stairs.

Leto just smiled as they made their way to the doors and entered the dimly lit entry hall. “So what did you want to show me, baby-Cousland?” Leto asked mischieviously.

“You know,” Lucen said, his face red, “You keep calling me that and I might just have to show you how wrong you are.” This time he was the one to lead, taking Leto through a side door in the chantry and climbing a spiral staircase.

“Maybe I’d like that.” Leto murmured in Tevene as he followed Lucen up the stairs.

The back of Lucen’s neck flushed, he could feel it and was glad for the long hair covering it. He pushed open a door at the top of the staircase that stepped outside onto a tower. it still drizzled slightly, but the sun was coming back out, shining down on the view of the city below.

“Nice view,” Leto murmured as he came up next to his friend, or were they more than friends with Lucen’s insistence they were on a date.

“Yeah…” Lucen smiled and laced his fingers with Leto’s. 

“Must be nice up here right at sunrise, when the moon comes up. Why bring me, Luce?” Leto asked as he squeezed the other boy’s fingers briefly.

Lucen sighed. “Because I wanted to show you something that I was told was beautiful,” he said. “Because I wanted to have a happy memory of the two of us to hold onto.” 

“You say that like we’ll only have today Lucen. We’re gonna be ok, you’re going to be alright. We won’t let you fall, please believe me.” Leto wrapped himself around Lucen and hugged the other boy close. “Please don’t talk like that.”

“This is exactly what I wanted to prevent,” Lucen whispered. “But I know I can’t make that choice for you, and I was being selfish by trying. I still don’t want you to get hurt, Leto.”

“Let me make that choice, Luce, come on, I see the sun is starting to go down and we’re expected back by dinner. I want to take our time riding back home.” the younger elven boy leaned up and kissed Lucen gently on the lips, unsure how he’d take it.

Lucen drew Leto close and threaded his fingers through the other boy’s hair, deepening the kiss. He was finally on ground that he knew.

Leto pulled back when he needed air, his eyes still closed as he stood with his hands on Lucen’s chest as he savored the quiet moment between them. “Maybe we can get back to that after dinner?” he asked quietly.

Lucen nuzzled along Leto’s neck. “We should get going then. I have an urge for an early dinner.” 

“Me too.” Leto moaned before he drew back. “Come on, I don’t want to get back too late to have more fun.” 

Lucen led him to the door, but paused and turned back around. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“For what now?” Leto asked in confusion. “You already apologized once, what’s the problem.”

“For being stupid,” Lucen clarified. “For anything that might happen.” 

“It’s ok, come on the longer we stand around here the less time we might have after dinner.” Leto nodded towards the door and waited for Lucen to lead them back down and out.

**  
The ride back was no less tense, but for slightly different reasons. Lucen pressed his chest against Leto’s back deliberately, and his lips kept straying to the other boy’s throat.

“We’re not going to make it back if you keep doing that, Luce.” Leto called back as they rode back towards Arlathan.

“Says you,” Lucen murmured in his ear. “I’m good at multitasking…” He slipped his hand under Leto’s tunic and spread his fingers over the other boy’s chest.

“How about we just skip dinner and get to dessert?” Leto gasped as he felt Lucen’s fingers trip up his chest and pinch one of his nipples.

“I--” Lucen’s hand abruptly jerked out from under Leto’s tunic and he gripped the reins tightly, bringing the horse up short. Dirt sprayed from the horse’s hooves, flying over the bandits that had stepped out in the middle of the road.

“Son of a bitch, what did you---” Leto growled as he nearly tipped off their steed. “Dammit, Lucen!” 

“We’ve got company,” Lucen whispered, holding Leto steady on the saddle with one hand, while reaching for his sword with the other.

“So I see.” Leto let his brands light as he reached for his own weapon. “Let us pass, we’ve nothing of interest to you.”

“You’ve got a horse and those fine weapons,” one of them called out with a smirk. “That’ll be a good start.” 

“We should run,” Lucen whispered in Elvhen. “But if we do they’ll just get another traveler that might not be able to get away or defend themselves.”  
“I will not run from common bandits, my father would be shamed if I did so.” Leto let his voice drop and his brands light even further. “I say again, let us pass. Else you will see what happens when you trifle with the elvhen.” 

“You’re both a couple of young cubs who think growling at bigger wolves makes them frightening,” The bandits laughed. “Why don't you both be good children and get down off the horse.”

“Well… If you insist,” Lucen said mildly. He slid off the horse first, his boots hitting the ground.

“Funny you should mention wolves.” Leto said casually as he slid to the ground, grinned like his patron Creator before he launched himself at the closest robber, his arm going bright as he slid his fingers through the human’s ribs to close around his frantically beating heart. “I’m no cub.” purred the young Light Warrior.

The bandit began to scream in terror. Behind Leto, another bandit swung his sword towards the elf. 

“Leto!” Lucen screamed. He slid between Leto and the bandit, his own weapon coming up just in time to intercept the blow. His eyes grew black in rage and he snarled at the bandit. “You’ve just made a mistake.”

Leto pulled the man’s heart free, flung it towards the man advancing towards him then pulled his sword. “You just made a fatal error.” he hissed as he backed up his friend.

Lucen launched himself at the bandit in front of him, heedless of the danger. All he felt was the rage, the anger that this man would dare try to hurt Leto.

The elven fighter went after the third bandit, a tangle of light, rage and magic as he attacked the slighter human. “Not today, asshole.” Leto snapped as he let lightning trail from his fingers towards his target.

The third bandit pulled a dagger from its sheath. “So foolish,” he hissed, and then sliced his palm open.

“Malelifcar!” Leto yelled as he pooled a healing spell in his palm instead of elemental power as Anders had taught him.

Lucen flicked the blood off his sword and turned to engage another bandit. He was dimly aware of Leto shouting and more bandits spilling out into the road.

Leto tried to counter the blood mages’ power but was distracted by another bandit that had crept up on Lucen. “Luce, look out!” he screamed before he was hit by the other mage’s spell.

And that was it. 

Lucen watched as Leto began to fall to the ground. A scream of rage spilled from Lucen’s lips, his sword dropping from his fingers. His vision became swamped with fire, his back arching as power burst from him. Scales erupted along his arms and up his throat, his eyes shifting from black to crimson.

“Luce…” Leto gasped as he rolled over and tried to stand up. “Lucen, no!” he begged his friend. “Run!” he screamed at the remaining bandits as terror gripped him.

Lucen flung out a hand that ended in sharp talons. He tilted his head to the side, unblinking as he uttered a guttural word. The bandit in front of him exploded into ash. Screams of terror filled the air, as one after another Lucen turned his inhuman gaze on each bandit in turn, reducing them to dust with barely a thought.

Leto had frozen in place as he watched each man and woman crumble to nothing under Lucen’s gaze. When it was over, they were surrounded by piles of grey and white dust under leather armor, boots, and a couple of staves. “L...Luce?” he murmured as he struggled to stand and go to his friend. “Luce...it’s over, please...come back to me.”

Lucen’s lips peeled back from his pointed teeth. “They hurt you,” he gritted out.

“They did...but you got them Luce. All of them.” Leto said softly, his advance slowed as he felt where he’d been hit by the other mages spell. “Good thing I’m a Light Warrior, could be worse,” he tried to laugh but it came out more like a wheeze.

Lucen went to reach for Leto, but jerked his hand back when he saw the onyx claws. “What’s happening to me?” His voice had come out as more of a snarl. He could still feel the fire inside him, caressing a part of his soul he hadn’t known was so empty.

“I don’t know but we should get back to Arlathan so your mom can check you over.” Leto said as he pulled Lucen to him, without a care for the scales that had covered his friend from head to toe.

Lucen dug his feet in. “No! I can’t go back there. Not like this. I can’t let them know.” 

“Luce, you already showed us remember? They will help you, come on. Do you really want Fenris or your dad to come looking if we’re late?” Leto pleaded with his friend, pulled him by the hand towards their horse.

“Don’t you know what they did to Fenris when he was changed? They locked him up, Leto. I can’t let them do that. I can’t…” 

“No one is locking you up, you’re not possessed for one thing. Lucen Cousland, you will come back with me or else.” Leto let his brands light as he held on to his friend.

“Please, Leto,” Lucen begged. “I can’t do this to them.”

“You stubborn ass!” Leto snapped before he let his brands light and prayed he got them back in one piece. He didn’t open his eyes until he felt grass under his feet and Lucen pull away before he started retching in a nearby flowerbed.

“Are you alright?” he asked before he turned to see Fenris and Anders headed down the path.

“Maker preserve us all,” Anders gasped when he saw the boys. He crouched down next to Lucen and titled his face up.

“Fenris, Leto, one of you go and get Morrigan,” Anders said quietly.

“I’ll go, stay with him please,” Leto said before he dashed off to find her.

“What happened? We were going to come look for you.” Fenris said as he watched Anders care his ‘nephew’.

“Someone tried to hurt Leto,” Lucen managed to gasp out. “I’m so sorry,” he covered his face with his hands.

“Who tried to hurt him? I’ll tear them apart,” Fenris snarled.

“Too late,” Lucen whispered. “I… I was so angry already, and then I just… I destroyed them. They were nothing but ash,” he said the last on a broken rasp.

“We need to get you inside,” Anders said. 

“Come on, let us help you Luce, your uncle elf-bunny won’t let you down ok?” Fenris said quietly as he helped the young warrior up the path and into the main hall.

The nickname that Lucen had given Fenris when he was a child seemed to bring him a bit back to himself, reminding him of family and love. The redness in his eyes began to recede. 

“Come back to us Luce, please.” Fenris asked as he noted the change in his charge. “I’ll even let you swing me around for a change.”

A burst of laughter escaped him. “Keep talking,” he begged. 

“Remember when you tried to ride Pounce like a horse?” Anders asked. “That poor cat.”

“How you used to pull on my ears, even yanked my earring out a few times? How you’d chew on my braids before I cut my hair?” Fenris said as they went. “Don’t forget how you would call me bunny in front of King Alistair all the time?”

A tear slipped free and slithered down Lucen’s cheek. “I remember.” He flexed his hands and the claws seemed to sink back into his fingers.

“I’ll even grow my hair out so you can do that again if you want, anything Luce ok?” Fenris said with a hitch in his voice. “Anything for you to get better.”

“I don’t want to die,” Lucen sobbed. he dropped to his hands and knees as he fought what was inside him.

“You’re not, we won’t let you.” Fenris dropped down with Luce and hugged him close. “You’re gonna beat this ok? We love you, Lucen, we’re not giving up.” 

“We’ve got your back,” Anders added. “And you know how we are, we don’t give up easily, and we’re helpful to the obnoxious level.” 

“Tell me about it.” Fenris quipped. “Come on, let’s get you inside and to your mother. She’s smart and will figure this out and it will be ok.” the elven warden helped Lucen up and guided him towards the hall.

“I shouldn’t have left Arlathan,” Lucen muttered. 

“It’s too late now,” Anders said. “What’s done it done.” With the mage on one side, and Fenris on the other, they got Lucen into the main hall in time to see Leto and Morrigan rushing towards them.

“It’s alright, you helped keep Leto safe, it’s ok.” Fenris reassured him before he moved out of the way and let Morrigan help her son. 

Morrigan cupped Lucen’s face in her hands and searched his eyes. “No more magic. No more fighting,” she said sternly.

“No, ma’am,” Lucen replied. “I’m sorry, mothe--”

“It’s done now,” she interrupted. “Now we will get ourselves some answers.” 

“I’ll have someone send dinner to our quarters so we can speak privately, do you wish Rhys and Sirad to come?” Fenris asked.  
“I’ll get them uncle, they should know especially if there’s old elvhen magic that can help Luce.” Leto offered.

Shame filled Lucen at the thought of others knowing what had happened, but he only pressed his lips together and let his mother urge him towards the stairs.

“I’ll speak with them myself later,” Morrigan said when she felt her son’s shoulders tense.

“As you wish ma’am. Do you want me to go as well?” Leto asked, worried he’d be excluded from helping his friend.

“No, come with us, Leto,” Morrigan threw a glance over her shoulder at Fenris and Anders. “Maybe you two would be willing to appraise the others of things? I will come and find you when I have gotten the story out of the boys.” 

“As you wish Morrigan, come Anders. I don’t want to tell Aedan alone.” Fenris gave them both a nod and waited for his husband to join him.

“I’m sorry uncle, I didn’t think we’d have this happen.” Leto called out as Fenris started to go.

“It’s ok Leto, just tell her everything. I’ll see you later.”

“Mother,” Lucen began.

“Not now, Luce,” she whispered in the language of the Wilds. “Wait until we are in your room and I’ve warded it. Don’t say another word.” 

Fenris headed out towards Aedan’s room, his heart hammered in his chest. “If he kills me, you know where my will is right?” the elf whispered to Anders.

“You keep saying that,” Anders laughed. “Aedan won’t kill you. But just in case, I know exactly where it is.” 

**

Morrigan silently led the boys to Lucen’s chamber. When the door was shut and locked behind them, a whisper of powerful magic slipped from her fingers, warding the room against entry and anyone overhearing them.

Leto flinched at the feel of her power slipping over his brands but didn’t speak. He waited for Lucen to begin their tale.

“First of all,” Morrigan said, “I need to make sure that anything we say here does not leave this room. Can i have your word on this, Leto?” 

“Mother, you shouldn’t drag him into this,” Lucen protested. 

“Yes ma’am, anything I can do for Lucen.” he glanced at his friend then back to Morrigan. “I give my word to you as a Light Warrior and his friend that what we say in here will remain between us and the walls.”

“Mother, please,” Lucen begged. 

“You’re going to need someone with you,” Morrigan said. “And I trust him to do it.” She turned to Leto. “I need Lucen out of Arlathan. He’s not safe here.” 

“When do we go, and where?” Leto, no hesitation in his voice. 

“Back to Ferelden, to the Wilds. I have a place there, he knows how to find it. He’ll be safe there until we can figure out what needs to be done in order to stop what’s happening to him.” 

“I’m not leaving, mother,” Lucen snapped.

She whirled on him. “They will kill you. They may not want to, but they will do it. Barring that, they will throw you in that cell they kept Fenris in. I won’t have it, Lucen.”

“No one will kill him ma’am. They will have to go through me first.” Leto turned to the other boy and glared at him. “You’re going to go Lucen, do you want to be shackled like Fenris, perhaps for the rest of your life, or killed because people are too stupid to understand?”

“I…” Lucen snapped his mouth shut when Morrigan let out a curse under her breath. 

“Someone has dissolved my wards,” she said with a disdainful curl of her lips. The latch to the door clicked and it swung open. 

“What are you doing, Morrigan?” Rhys asked, a key in his hand. behind him stood Anders, the spell he used on the wards dying on his fingers, with Fenris at his side.

“Why are you spying on us?” Leto asked as he moved in front of Lucen. 

“We’re not spying, I tried to get them to wait Leto.” Fenris huffed as he stood with his nephew. “Rhys...please, be reasonable.” he pleaded.

“He might be too far gone,” Rhys said, his eyes on Lucen. “I can’t have him roaming freely anymore. I’m sorry, Fenris.”   
“No,” Morrigan hissed. “You will not take him.” She stepped stepped in front of her son as well.

“He’s not too far gone, see he’s fine now. He only manifested his powers to save Leto. Do not do that to him Rhys, would you do to him what was done to me? I beg you, don’t do this.” Fenris stood at Morrigan’s side, ready to fight for his blood kin and her son. 

“What I would do is safeguard this city and our people,” Rhys answered. “What I have always done. I don’t want to kill him, fenris. I want him saved. But I can’t have him free either, not after what happened. Both of you told me what he looked like, how he said he turned his enemies into ash.” He shook his head. “What would you have me do? Pretend that it isn’t happening?”

Anders hesitated before he spoke. “Love, you know I’m the last person to advocate for locking someone up for something that isn’t their fault, but this isn't for something he might do, but what he already has done.”

“Where’s Aedan?” Morrigan demanded. “He would not stand for this.” 

“I had to uh… use a sleep spell on him,” Anders admitted. “He did not take this well.” 

Fenris glowered at his husband and his King. “No, you will not do this to him. Keep him confined to Arlathan but not that ...place.” the elven Commander stared at Rhys as he begged in elvhen, pleaded for Lucen’s ability to remain free, even if it meant remaining within the confines of the city. 

“I’ll take responsibility for him, if anything goes wrong...I’ll take care of him myself. I won’t let you lock him up like a dog, not even you King Rhys.” Leto snarled at the others in the room that didn’t stand with them. 

Rhys grinned at Leto’s show of defiance. For a moment he felt a sense of kinship with the other warrior that Fen’Harel had chosen. But then the smile slipped away. “You can try to stop me, but it would do you no good.” 

“Just stop!” Lucen suddenly shouted. “Stop fighting. Damnit, I’ll go willingly if it will stop this.” 

“No.” Leto and Fenris said in unison. 

“You don’t understand what it was like to be locked up, trussed up like a hog, and treated like you were a hairs breadth from slaughtering everyone. I won’t do that to you Lucen.” Fenris’ brands were bright as he waited for someone to make a move towards them. 

“I have a choice on whether I go or not, and I am choosing to go,” Lucen said firmly. “I thank all of you for being willing to fight for my freedom, but not like this.” He turned to Leto. “I had such a wonderful day today, thank you.”

“You’ll come with us then?” Rhys asked. 

Lucen nodded. “I’ll come.” 

Fenris growled under his breath as he watched Lucen skirt around them and allow Rhys to lead him out. He spat a vile curse in elvhen as he felt Leto grasp him and start to cry against his chest. “We’ll visit him in a little bit, don’t give in to your tears. Come, let us confer with Morrigan since they’ve gotten their way.” 

He gave Anders a dark look before he turned towards Morrigan. “If we may speak further, once we are _alone_?” 

“Love…” Anders said with a sigh. “I hate this every much as you do, but he’s powerful and has already killed people.”

“The irony of you saying this is not lost on me,” Morrigan spat.

“People that attacked him first, love.” Fenris snapped. Since Anders didn’t go, he took Leto by the hand and made to leave instead. 

“You let them take him, I won’t forget this...uncle.” Leto said as he was led away.

“Nor will I,” said Morrigan as they pushed past Anders.

The mage’s face crumpled as they left, and he let out a growl of frustration.

**  
It was almost morning by the time Fenris returned to their rooms, his anger was still there but banked by his exhaustion. After nearly a full day of no sleep, liquor and a lot of back and forth he was done in. He debated crawling into bed with Anders, or sleeping in the adjoining room that used to be Leto’s but he was too tired to care. 

He stripped out of his armor, pulled on sleep pants and crawled into the bed, ready to sleep the second he touched the sheets.

Anders had awoken the moment the door had opened. He stayed on his stomach, his arms wrapped around his pillow and watched Fenris through slitted eyes. 

“Good morning, love,” he finally said when the silence grew too long.  
“Hmmph… morning.” Fenris replied as he tried to get comfortable. 

“Have you not slept yet?” Anders asked quietly. He already knew the answer, but needed something, anything, to say.

“No, it was a long night.” Fenris muttered before he turned to face Anders. “What is it, you are talking to fill space, just spit it out.”

‘We don't fight that often anymore,” Anders said softly. “And you were very angry with me.”

“You of all people advocated for locking Lucen up in that...that...cell.” Fenris snapped as he sat up, his anger and exhaustion blending into a dangerous mix.

“And it wasn’t easy,” Anders replied. “But someone had to do it. Everyone was willing to go at each other’s throats, and Lucen was staring at me as if he would have done anything to make it stop. I thought he needed someone on his side in order to cool down hot heads. I don’t like him in there anymore than you do. I wasn’t locked up as you were, but I slept outside that door every night until you were free, never knowing if who I was talking to was you or Fen’Harel. But Lucen isn't you, and Leto isn’t me. It was his choice and I knew he had made it even before he had opened his mouth. We have to respect that.”

“I respect it now...but Leto and Morrigan feel betrayed by your words. I was on his side, don’t act like I wasn’t.” Fenris avoided mentioning his hurt at Anders choice, it wasn’t the time for that particular discussion.

“None of us asked what he wanted to do. Rhys made his choice, and the others made theirs. None of us, not you, not me, asked Lucen what he wanted to do. We’re too close to this, Fenris. We want to help him, and it’s scaring us into acting rashly. Remember what Rhys said that set Aedan off? He said we should have someone armed and ready next to Lucen at all times in case he gets out of control. That’s what we’ve come to. 

“You have every right to be hurt and angry, love. I didn’t do it to hurt you, though.” 

“If this was your son, would you not be as furious as Aedan? Leto could have been killed, he is my blood kin Anders, and he was willing to stand for Lucen, to be his champion yet that wasn’t enough for Rhys, or you.” Fenris ran his hands through his hair and sighed in frustration.

“It doesn’t matter anyway, Rhys got his way and Lucen is locked up like an animal. Leto couldn’t bear to see him like that and Morrigan is with him. It just doesn’t matter, and I’m so tired I can’t think straight right now.” 

“If Lucen were my son I would have taken him, his best friend, the one who is in love with him, to a room, locked and warded the doors while I planned for an escape. I would have hidden him somewhere that no one could find him, sending him off where anything could happen, and where those that really want to help him can't reach him. That’s what I would've done, and that’s exactly what Morrigan was doing, because she loves her son, and she spent a good portion of his young life doing exactly that.” 

Anders pulled his hand from under the pillow and cupped Fenris’ cheek. “And Lucen doesn’t have your history of bondage, love. This might not mean the same thing to him as it did, and still does, to you.” 

“Leave me out of this. I’m talking about Lucen, not me.” Fenris snarled as he stared at his husband. “If you would have done the same thing, why did you interfere with Morrigan’s plan?” 

“Just because I would’ve done the same thing, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do,” Anders said simply.

“Yet you’d keep her from allowing her son freedom.” Fenris replied. “It’s done anyway, it’s not as if he can escape that cell. I’m exhausted and I don’t want to say anything else out of anger or irritation. Let me sleep.”

“I’m sorry this has brought up bad memories for you, love,” Anders said quietly. “Get some rest.” 

“Assuming I can sleep that is.” Fenris huffed as he tried to settle in and fall asleep, but his mind was restless even though his body was exhausted.

“Do you need help to sleep?” Anders asked. “I could cast a spell.” 

“No... casting on me right now would be a very, very bad idea, Anders.” Fenris closed his eyes and tried to calm his mind but found he couldn’t, not easily.

“Then how about I stay with you,” Anders offered. He slipped his arm around Fenris and brought him close. 

“If you must but let me try to sleep. You know how ornery I get when I am not well rested.” Fenris snarled as he resisted being pulled close for a moment, then gave up.

“That I do,” Anders said wryly. He pulled Fenris closer and kissed the top of his head before he began to hum softly. 

The elven warrior didn’t bother snapping at his husband, he figured the fight wasn’t worth it. He listened to the soft humming,and soon it lulled him to a light sleep. He didn’t feel it when Anders curled around him and continued to hum softly as he dozed on.

“I wish you weren’t still haunted, love,” Anders whispered. “But I’m here to help you as always.” He kissed Fenris lightly again.

The elven fighter stirred but didn’t wake, not until later in the day when hunger pulled him from slumbr. “What time is it?” Fenris slurred as he opened his eyes to find Anders still wrapped around him.

“About noon,” Anders yawned and rolled over, stretching. “Heard the noon bell go off a little bit ago.” 

“I’m surprised we weren’t called for. Let’s get cleaned up and eat, I’m starving.” Fenris pulled himself out of their bed slowly, his mind kicked back into worry about the situation. “Once we’ve eaten, I’m going to visit Lucen, then hopefully Aedan will hear me.” he pressed his fingers to Anders lips to stall whatever his husband had to say.

“Later, we can talk later. Now food and we’ll deal with the rest as it comes.” Fenris took Anders hand and gave him a brief smile, though his heart was still sore from all that had happened.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leto gets what he's dreamed of for a long time, but will it turn out to be a nightmare? Fenris learns that some hurts never go away, no matter how much you try to pretend you're fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for m/m teen boy sex. Lucen is 20, Leto nearly 17.

After they got dressed, they both made their way to the dining hall. The hall which was usually filled with talk and laughter, was somber, the silence oppressive. Anders tried to ignore the way part of the room threw hostile glares at him. He could feel Morrigan’s eyes boring into him and the space between his shoulderblades itched. He got his lunch and went to sit down as far from the others as he possibly could. 

Fenris sighed and sat across from his husband, a scowl on his face in between bites. He glanced at Morrigan and his nephew before he finished his plate. “I’m going to talk with them, I’ll see you later.” 

“Love you,” Anders sighed. He was resigned to their anger with him. Maker knew he would have been angry.

“Love you.” Fenris replied before he left Anders to his own thoughts.

When Fenris approached, Morrigan raised her eyebrow at the elf, but didn’t say a word as she went back to eating. 

“May I join you,” he asked as he avoided the glare his nephew gave him.

“You may go where you wish, Lord Iefyr,” Morrigan said, her voice deceptively light. 

“Morrigan, please...don’t be so cold. I came to speak with you and Leto now that I’ve finally slept and am not ready to tear off heads.” Fenris said plaintively.

“You still slept with him,” Leto hissed in anger. 

“He’s still my husband even though I wonder where he left his brain yesterday. Don’t forget I’m your uncle either. There’s a limit to what I’ll take from you. Now, I’d like to sit with you and talk.” Fenris said as he gave his nephew a dark look,

“As I said, you are free to do as you wish,” Morrigan murmured demurely. 

The elven fighter ground his teeth but sat anyway. “Do you still want him freed? Though it will put me on the outs with them, I will help him get to Ferelden. I know the way and if it comes down to it, I’ll say Leto put me up to it, or I’ll just stay with them.” Fenris glanced at his nephew then back to Morrigan, unsure if they’d think he’d gone crazy or accept his offer.

“You would go against your husband in this?” Morrigan asked carefully.

“If it meant that Lucen would not have to suffer as I did, yes.” Fenris twisted his wedding band in worry. “Just promise me that you will make sure he understands why.”

“You can’t do that uncle, Anders would be heartbroken,” Leto whispered in shock.

Morrigan turned her eyes towards Anders. She muttered a curse. “I’m angry with him, but I won’t do that to him.”

“Very well, the offer stands should you change your mind. I do not want this, Morrigan, I’m sorry I failed you...before.” Fenris glanced at his husband, guilt clawed through him at the thought of what he’d offered. “I should go.”

“Ask Anders when we may see Lucen,” Morrigan asked. 

“Of course, I’ll be back in a moment.” Fenris returned to his husband’s side, Morrigan’s query whispered to him.

“I’ll take them when they’re ready,” Anders muttered. He turned his face slightly to the side, his lips brushing against Fenris’ cheek. “Don’t leave me,” came the pained whisper.

“What do you mean?” Fenris replied just as quietly.

“You are not exactly subtle or quiet, love.” Anders closed his eyes.

Fenris swallowed as he leaned against Anders cheek. “I’m sorry, after they visit Lucen, feel free to yell at me.” 

I’m not going to yell at you.” Anders gave him a soft kiss. “But you were ready to leave me. You need to figure out what it is you need to do in order to come to terms with what is happening to Lucen. I know you’re in pain, love, but what you offered…” 

“I don’t want him to suffer, nor Leto or Morrigan.” Fenris looked away, his gaze on the wall behind his husband. “Forgive me,” he finally whispered before he nestled against the blond. 

“Forgiven,” Anders said. “But I’m worried about you. What’s happening to Leto and Lucen has been sending you back down dark paths, love.” 

“Maybe I should go home before I do something stupid, but I don’t want the boys to feel alone.” Fenris wiped at his face before he stood up to go. “I’m going to train with Cadewyn, find me later.”

Anders grasped at Fenris’ hand. “Please stay. Unless you really feel like you have to go. I need you here with me, and the boys trust you.” 

“Fine, I’ll stay if you insist.” Fenris replied.

“I should go and apologize to them, shouldn’t I?” Anders asked quietly. 

“If you feel the need to, but know Leto is going to hold this against you for a long time, as will Morrigan.” Fenris stood up and nodded towards his nephew and friend so they could get the unpleasant part of their day over.

Anders got to his feet. But before he went over to Morrigan and Leto, he turned and cupped Fenris’ face in his hands, kissing him long and deep. “I love you,” he muttered against his lips. “And whatever you’re going through I’ll help you. I’m so sorry I hurt you, love.” 

“We can speak later, perhaps you should keep in mind that Leto is hurting right now and not remind him of what he can’t have.” Fenris whispered as he glanced over to see the stricken look on his nephew’s face.

“You were but a word from another way of leaving me,” Anders whispered back, some of the hurt creeping in his voice. “If I wish to kiss you I shall.” 

“As you wish.” Fenris whispered.

“Sorry,” Anders muttered. He didn’t know which way to go. So much hurt had happened in such a short period of time, and Anders felt as if there was no right answer he could give anyone. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone,” he said again. 

“I know, I know love. Let’s just get this over with.” Fenris said as he nudged Anders towards the two mages.

Morrigan didn’t even bother to look up when Anders and Fenris walked over to their table. She seemed inordinately interested in her food, precisely choosing a morsel, stabbing it with her fork, and bringing it slowly to her lips.

Leto glared at Anders but kept his mouth shut out of deference to his uncle. His mood changed as he listened to the older mage.

“I’m sorry that I betrayed both of your trust,” Anders said softly. “I’m not sure what I can do in order to make this up to you.” 

Carefully, Morrigan lifted her cloth napkin and blotted delicately at her lips.

“Not much, but getting to see Lucen would be a start.” Leto said as he watched the way his uncle hung back from them, his gaze anywhere but on the three mages by him.

“That I can do,” Anders promised. “If you’re both ready…”

“I am, if you are Morrigan.” Leto said as he rose and hoped she would join him. 

Fenris remained silent as he witnessed them dance around each other warily.

Anders blew out a breath and motioned for the others to follow him. At least no one had bitten his head off, so he would take his wins as they came. 

Fenris followed along behind Morrigan, a silent shadow as they made their way down to the cell where Lucen was held. He tried to keep himself together as they went but it became difficult to remain quiet as they arrived at the last door before they’d greet him. 

“You alright, uncle?” Leto asked as he saw how pale the other elf looked.

“Fine, just fine. Let’s check on Lucen, it’s what we’re down here for after all.” Fenris replied tersely.

Guards snapped to attention as they passed, more and more of them lining the walls the closer they got to the cell. Anders withdrew a key from a pouch at his waist, and walked to the shimmering bars, the lone cell in this part of Arlathan.

Fenris straightened up as he watched Anders let Leto and Morrigan in. He tried to seem casual but knew he was a few moments from running out of the cell block screaming.

Leto nearly knocked Anders over as he rushed into the cell so he could be at Lucen’s side. “You alright, are they treating you alright?” he asked hurriedly.

Chains clinked against each other as Lucen shifted on the cot he had been given in the center of the bare room. “Leto…” He whispered with a grin. “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not, you’re in this fucking cell.” Leto leaned over the other boy and kissed him until he heard Morrigan calling his name.

“Sorry, I’ll just… be over there.” Leto smiled at the other boy then moved so Lucen’s mother could check him over.

Morrigan sank in front of Lucen and began to speak to him quietly, her voice barely carrying in the silent room.

Watching her, Anders’ gaze caught Fenris out of the corner of his eye and he moved to his husband, catching him by the arm. “You still haven't gotten enough sleep,” he said in a murmur. “Why don’t you go back to our room and take another nap?”

“Yeah...good idea.” Fenris replied as he nearly swooned into Anders arms.

“Whoa!” Anders steadied him. “Come on, I’ll walk you back.” He glanced at leto and Morrigan. “I trust that they won’t let him out, and I’m the one with the key.” If they were going to heal their rift, then Anders needed to show that the trusted them. 

“Alright, sorry I’m kind of ...I need to get out of here.” Fenris rasped as he held on to his husband. “Quickly.”

With one last, lingering look at Morrigan, Anders helped Fenris out of the cell and down the hall. 

Lucen waited until they had left before speaking. “It was always going to end up this way, Mother. You and I know that. I’m still alive, though. That’s what matters right now.”

“I didn’t want this for you,” she whispered.

“I know you didn’t. Just as I know you tried so hard to help me. You’ve protected me, Mother, and loved me. I couldn't ask for anything more than that.” He reached up to hold her, but his hands stopped short just inches from his lap, the chains clinking. 

“Then tell me everything that happened, leave nothing out,” she demanded. 

So Lucen did. When it came to what he had been feeling right before he had transformed, it became harder, stumbling over his words while he fought to find apt descriptions.

“Fire?” Morrigan said thoughtfully when he was finished. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve always dreamt of burning,” Lucen said. “It doesn’t hurt, though, and I want to embrace it so badly, that I can feel the need clawing at me. I always fight it, though, but this time…”

“This time you didn’t,” she finished. “This time you let it in.” 

Lucen nodded.

“No magic,” she warned. “No fighting. The anger you have inherited from your father, his berserker rage makes you vulnerable.” she pressed her finger to his lips to silence him when he opened his mouth to protest. “I know you were trying to protect Leto, but you must swear to me, Lucen, no matter what happens, no magic, no fighting.” 

He nodded again and she removed her finger.

“May I stay with him?” Leto asked as he watched daughter and son together.

“I would feel better if he had someone with him,” Morrigan said. She rose to her feet and placed a kiss on the top of Lucen’s head. “I have work to do if we have any hope of fixing this.”

“Thank you Morrigan, I’ll stay with Luce tonight in case anyone looks for me.” Leto gave her an uneasy smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

She walked over and gave him a kiss as well before she left the cell. 

Leto waited until they were gone before he turned and gave Lucen a wicked grin. “Alone at last.”

Lucen let out a huff of laughter. “This wasn’t what I had in mind.”

“Oh, I thought this was the plan once we got back. Well, before things went sideways.” Leto perched next to the older human boy, took his hand and kissed Lucen’s palm.

Lucen rattled his chains. “Kinda puts a damper on things.” 

“Who said so? I can work around those. I want to be with you, Luce, and restraints aren’t going to stop me,” Leto said as he straddled the other boy.

“Leto,” Lucen groaned. “You don’t have to do this.” Still, he placed his hands on the other boy’s thighs.

“I want to, there’s a difference Luce.” Leto leaned down to kiss the older boy on the lips.

Lucen closed his eyes and gave himself up to the kiss. He knew he should hate it, these chains on him, but he couldn’t help but he glad for them, as much as he had been frightened of them. This way, he wouldn’t be hurting anyone. Still, he quickly became frustrated when he could do nothing more than squeeze Leto’s upper thighs with his fingers.

“How do you want me? I’m all yours, however you need me.”

“I…” Lucen rested his forehead against Leto’s, his cock straining against his breeches. “I can’t ask you to do this. I won’t be able to touch you.” 

“What if I need this Luce? I want you, I have for a long time, and some chains aren’t going to stop me. If it helps we can get on the floor that way you can touch. Please Lucen, I want at least one time with you before we have to deal with...things.” Leto kissed him again, his body pressed close to Lucen’s

Guilt began to worm it’s way through Lucen. “Just kiss me,” he whispered.

“As you wish.” Leto tugged at Lucen until he was comfortable, then gave him kisses until they needed to break for air. “I want more.”

“What do you want, Leto?” Lucen rasped.

“You, all of you Luce.” Leto’s fingers skimmed the other boys chest down to his abdomen. “Remember all the things I told you about sex? I want that with you.”

Lucen couldn’t help himself, but his resolve was weakening. he didn’t want Leto to get hurt, but all the promises he had made about letting Leto make his own choices came back to him. “Then take me,” Lucen whispered. His fingers dug into Leto’s thighs and dragged him in close, rolling his hips.

Leto moaned as he felt Lucen’s cock through his pants. “Maybe I should take you for a ride first, see what you’re hiding from me.” He rolled his hips in response, a low moan slipped out before he rested his hand on the ties to the other boy’s breeches. “May I?”

“Please,” Lucen hissed. The slight brush of the other boy’s fingers maddening.

Leto grinned as he undid the laces and tugged Lucen’s breeches down then off. “Well, well, what have we here?” he said with a purr. “Even better than I’d hoped.” he said softly before he moved between Lucen’s legs so he could take him into his mouth. 

Lucen spread his legs as far as they would go, allowing Leto to settle between them. At the first, warm, wet touch of the other boy’s mouth, Lucen groaned, his cock twitching in Leto’s fingers. 

Leto hummed as he took Lucen down to the base, then up to the tip again in one motion. He watched the other boy for his reactions, then went back to sucking him off slowly.

Hissing between his teeth, Lucen rocked his hips, seeking more of that wonderful, wet friction. His chin dropped down to his chest, as he fought to keep his eyes open and on Leto while the pleasure began to swamp him.

Leto let go to catch his breath and give Luce a quick smile. “Let go, enjoy it ok?” he said before he settled back down to pleasure his partner.

It was hard for Lucen, when he had sex, he liked to touch and be touched. He hated the one sidedness of this. But he let Leto reassure him, pushed the guilt aside.

The elven boy closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the taste and feel of Lucen in his mouth. He’d dreamed of this moment for a long time, and he was determined to enjoy it while he made sure Luce got taken care of. 

Lucen felt himself getting close. He threaded his fingers through Leto’s hair, heedless that they now ended in sharp claws that pricked at Leto’s scalp.

Leto hollowed his cheeks and sucked harder, eager to make Lucen come for him. He didn’t care about the feel of Luce’s claws against his skin, or the scales under his fingers as he caressed the other boy.

Lucen gritted his teeth in order to stifle his cry of pleasure. His cock jerked between Leto’s lips, and Lucen shuddered through his climax, his eyes sliding closed. 

The elven boy swallowed, even licked his lips clean of what he’d missed. “Better?” Leto asked as he stretched up to kiss Lucen.

“Yeah,” Lucen breathed. 

“Good, I want you to enjoy this. What else do you want, Luce? Anything I can do for you, it’s yours, just ask.” Leto grinned as he straddled the other boy again.

“I don’t know what I want,” Lucen answered honestly. “I wish my hands were free.”

“Why are they chained anyway? You’re already in a cell, this seems like overdoing it.” Leto ran his fingers over the chains, then the manacles on his friend’s wrists. “We could get on the floor that way you could touch.” 

“I can’t,” Lucen mumbled. “I have just enough room to lay down on my side or to sit up like I am now, but that’s it.” 

“Dammit...I’m going to ask why they have you in manacles, this is dumb, Luce.” Leto sighed and pulled the thin blanket back over them. “Let me lie with you for a while then, and maybe we can get into more trouble later.”

“I’d like that,” Lucen said with a grin. “Maybe then I can figure out how to give you what you need.” 

“You already are, you’re giving me what I need by letting me stay in here with you, Luce.” Leto turned to his side so they could talk quietly until they fell asleep. 

**  
Fenris had curled up in a thick, leather chair almost as soon as he’d come back from a bath. He’d felt filthy after visiting the cell, but he still couldn’t shake the dark thoughts that had circled back to the front of his mind. He stared at the fire, tumbler of whiskey almost forgotten in his hand.

Anders sat across from him in the opposite chair, his fingers steepled under his chin as he thought.

Eventually Fenris took a sip of his drink, then spoke quietly, more to himself than outloud. “It’s been almost twenty years, yet I feel like it was yesterday that I was locked up after going back down there with you.”

Anders’ eyes flicked up, but remained silent so his husband could get the words out that he needed to.

“Why Anders? Why does it still affect me so much? I thought I was past that...but apparently it’s just been dormant in my head until now. I’m sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean to collapse and cause such a scene in the hall.” Fenris set his drink aside and curled further into the chair.

He’d been mortified when he’d opened his eyes to find Anders on one side and Zevran on the other, confused until he’d remembered the way he’d lost himself after exiting the dungeons.

“Don’t worry about it, love,” Anders assured him.

“I do, I can’t face Zevran for a while. I just feel so...stupid for letting this get to me after so long. Will I ever stop being so broken?” Fenris knocked back the rest of his drink and sighed. 

“Do these feelings never fade?” 

“I can’t answer that, love. I wish I could,” Anders said quietly.

“Do you even think of your past any more? Kinloch, that year? Does it still get to you when you least expect it?” Fenris asked as he finally uncurled from the chair to refresh his drink.

“At times,” Anders admitted. “And I do the lovely coping strategy of just not thinking about it. especially when I became Warden-Commander, I couldn’t let the past prevent me from protecting those in my present.”

“I almost feel like I should go, but I don’t want to leave the boys. I’m Commander, I can’t just fucking sit and wallow in this. But it’s so hard love, I didn’t think it would sneak up on me like that, make me fall to pieces after so many years. I fucking live in Minrathous, I’ve reclaimed my life, I have you, my family, why was it still able to wound me like that? What’s wrong with me, Anders?” 

“I don’t know,” Anders answered honestly. 

“Touch me, please. I need to know you are here, I’m present and safe. I’m sorry to be so needy, still.” Fenris said softly, his eyes closing as he let the tears he’d held back finally fall.

Anders stood from his chair and went over to Fenris. he hauled the elf to his feet and gathered him in his arms. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m...I don’t even know what I’m apologizing for anymore.” Fenris whispered against Anders neck, his own grip tight on his husband. “Can we just go to bed?

“Come on, love,” Anders whispered. He urged Fenris over to the bed and sat him down on the edge. he bent down in front of the elf and began to help him remove his clothes. 

Once Fenris was stripped he flopped over on his side until Anders had slid into bed next to him. “I’m stupid to let this get to me aren’t I?” he asked as he curled close to his husband.

“You’re not stupid, love,” assured Anders. “Sometimes we can’t help what will remind us of painful times in our past.” 

“Yeah...tomorrow, I’m going to go down and spend time with Lucen and stop being such a fucking coward about this.” Fenris kissed Anders and smiled at him. “Thank you, for all you do for me love. I don’t deserve you.”

“I think you deserve me just fine,” Anders whispered with a light kiss. 

“Thanks, I’d like more but I’m tired. Maybe I’ll wake you up and show you just how happy I am to be with you.” Fenris kissed him with more passion, curling even closer. 

Anders snorted in amusement. “Night, love.” 

Fenris got up well before Anders to bathe and slip back into bed. He nuzzled against his husband, fingers scratching gently at Anders scalp and carding his hair. “Te amo, mi carissimi.” he whispered before he kissed the mage on his forehead.

Anders mumbled to himself and grinned, his eyes resolutely closed. “Mornin’.”

“If you want to sleep more love, I can get up and get us breakfast.” Fenris knew when Anders was in a mood, but he wasn’t going to give in easily. “Or I could just go to the training yard, start my day now since my husband is still sleepy.”

“Just been a long few days,” Anders murmured and craned his neck up to give Fenris a kiss. 

“That it has, love, that is has.” Fenris kissed him again and straddled Anders. “Raincheck for later if you’re tired?”

Anders speared his fingers though Fenris’ hair and gave him a lingering, but soft kiss. 

“Guess that’s a now rather than later?” he asked before he kissed Anders again, a pleased sigh escaped him as he was flipped to his back and reminded of how much he was loved.

**  
Leto gasped as he rode Lucen slowly, his moans low and breathy as he tried to hold back his pleasure. “Want ...you to come first.”

Lucen’s eyes flickered back and forth between dark brown and crimson. He closed his eyes to hide them from Leto while he groaned in pleasure. 

“Let me see you, I don’t care if you turn purple and grow wings, I want to see you enjoy this Luce.” Leto moved faster, his own eyes half-open as he watched Lucen start loosen up.

But Lucen fought it, his lips peeling back from teeth that had turned sharp. But he couldn't fight the change and his rising orgasm at the same time. With a snarl he came, scales slipping rapidfire up Lucen’s throat and jaw. 

“Yes, yes….” Leto moaned as he stilled when Lucen’s orgasm hit while he called out to the Creators. “Make...me… come.”

Lucen couldn’t touch Leto, but he could shuttle his cock in a out of the boy, giving him what he needed in order to join him.

Leto’s eyes closed as he gave in to the feeling of being sent higher and higher, his voice loud as he came finally, his spend all over their stomachs as he tried to slow his heart and breathe normally. “Fuck...better than I’d ever hoped.” 

Lucen shivered, contentment warring with the change that had come over him. He gritted his teeth as he fought, concentrating on Leto’s breath evening out, and the way the other boy looked, his lips kiss-swollen, and his eyes heavy lidded. 

“Can I come back for more of that later? I’m afraid I’m hooked Luce. That was better than I’d ever hoped for, thought I’d have with you.” Leto said tiredly as he laid down, no care for the sticky mess between them or between his thighs as he felt Lucen start to slip from him.

“You can’t,” Aedan said darkly from the cell door. 

Lucen’s eyes shot open and he stared in horror at his father.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mission impossible, Arlathan edition.

“Ser Cousland, please...please don’t take this from us.” Leto said as he turned to face Aedan.

Aedan pointed at Lucen. “Look at him. Fucking look at him, Leto. You’re a trigger for him.” 

“No, I’m not. He just...he couldn’t stop the change when he, while we were…” the elven boy’s hands fell to Lucen’s chest as he failed to find words. 

Lucen’s hands curled into fists, his claws cutting into his palms. “You can’t do this to me, father,” he whispered. “I’ve agreed to let all of you help me. I willingly came down here in order to protect everyone. Don’t do this.” 

“Do you think I want to do this, Luce?” Aedan asked, his voice stricken. “I didn’t want any of this for you. But I have to protect you… Both of you.” 

“No, you are not protecting either of us by keeping us apart, Ser Cousland. Please...please don’t do this.” Leto begged.

“Both times he’s changed has been because of you,” Aedan said gently. “if you were me, what would you do, Leto?” 

“Not this, that’s for damned sure.” Leto snarled as he dropped his head to his hands. “Can I at least have privacy to clean us up and talk to him? Or must you take that comfort from me as well?”

“Your tone is not appreciated, Leto,” Aedan growled.

Lucen pressed his lips together in a thin line as he watched his father turn and stride out of the cell.

“You tearing us apart isn’t appreciated either,” Leto snarled in Tevene as he got off of Lucen so he could clean them up. Despite his request, he was stonily silent until he’d pulled Lucen’s clothes up and gotten dressed. 

He leaned down and kissed the other boy, his eyes filled with tears and his grip tight until he let go. “I’m going to see uncle Fenris, I hope your father sees reason about us.” his voice was flat, at odds with the anguish on his face.

As much as Lucen didn’t want Fenris to be at odds with Aedan, he also didn’t want to lose one of the few things that made him happy anymore either. “Just be careful,” he said instead. “I don’t want father and Fenris fighting, that never ends well for anyone.” 

“Uncle can take care of himself, I’ll be careful.” Leto kissed him again gently then strode out, head high, back stiff and a carefully blank look on his face when he passed Aedan.

Aedan waited until he was sure Leto was down the hall and out of sight before he slipped back in the cell. 

“I’m sorry,” he said while he approached his son. “I hope you believe that.” 

“I do.” Lucen sat up on his cot, his hands on his knees, palms up. He breathed evenly with purpose as he tried to find a calm center like he had before. “But this isn’t the answer you’re looking for, father. Making it so Leto and I can’t see each other won’t stop this from happening.” 

“I’m not a mage,” Aedan sighed. “I’m shit with magic. But I can do this. If it will hold off what is happening to you even a day longer, then I have to.” 

**  
Fenris opened the door to find his nephew at attention, the same cold look he’d gotten from Zevran on several occasions on the boys face. “What happened?” 

Leto slipped past his uncle, waited for the door to shut before he began to rant, partially in Antivan, Trade and some choice words in Tevene to round out the swearing. He paced as he cursed everything and everyone until he found his uncle in his path.

“First, I didn’t understand half of what you just said because I never really got the hang of Antivan. Secondly, from what I could get it seems like you are furious at Aedan?” Fenris steered him to a seat, poured them both strong tea, and left the whiskey decanter on the table between them.

Leto ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “He forbade us to be together, he kind of caught us...finishing up.” He tapped his fingers as he tried to calm himself, so he wouldn't do something rash.

“I take it neither of you are happy with that?” Fenris asked as he watched his nephew.

“No, and I’m sure he’s angry with me now, First Warden Cousland that is. I don’t care. We finally, we...finally find each other and now he’s forcing us apart. Why, uncle?” Leto swiped at his face angrily.

“Do you still want me to help you run? I will do so if you want it, Leto. Maybe not go with you, but I’ll help,” Fenris offered before he put a capful of whiskey into his tea. 

“Yes, maybe...I don’t know, uncle. I don’t want you to break up with uncle Anders over us. I’m really angry and hurt and I just....I don’t want to lose Luce when we finally got together.” Leto got up to pace, his mood still uneven as he considered options.

“How was Lucen when you left him?” Fenris asked when the younger elf said nothing further.

“Quiet,” Leto answered. “It worries me.” 

“Both of you do, to be honest. You are as volatile as I am, and the fact that Fen’Harel is your patron as a Light Warrior still creeps me out. Lucen’s got that same intensity as his father, but when he’s quiet it means something really terrible is going to happen.” Fenris looked up to the ceiling and sighed.

“I like it better when he’s yelling the way Aedan does. When he’s quiet, it never ends well.” Leto scrubbed at his face. “I don’t know what to do, Uncle.” 

“Neither do I.” Fenris sat up and glanced at his nephew before he rose to change into his armor. “I’ll speak to Aedan.”

“Thank you. He won’t listen to us.” Leto finally took a seat and slumped down in it.

“Don’t thank me yet, Leto. He may well tell me to fuck off because this is about his son and I’m not his father, just...sort of his uncle.” Fenris buckled on his sword before heading for the door. “Let Anders know where I went, in case Aedan loses his temper with me.”

“I know he’ll listen to you, Uncle,” Leto said with conviction. “And I’ll tell Anders for you.” 

Fenris didn’t reply, he knew Aedan well enough to know his interference wouldn’t go well. He found Aedan in the dining hall, seated with Rhys deep in conversation. He cleared his throat as he approached so neither man would be surprised.

Aedan glanced up and gave Fenris a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Come sit. You might as well hear this too.” 

“I’d rather stand, if you don’t mind.” Fenris said quietly as he returned to a parade rest before his commander.

“Why…” Aedan asked with suspicion. 

“I would just prefer to stand, is that a problem Aedan?” Fenris replied, his expression carefully blank as he straightened up a bit more.

“That’s fine,” Aedan said slowly. “My question is am I going to want to be standing as well?”

“That all depends on you, ser.” Fenris said as he finally gave Aedan his full attention along with a hint of how annoyed he was getting.

“Out with it, Fenris,” Aedan said. “Whatever it is I can tell I’m not going to like it with how formal you’re being.” 

Fenris arched an eyebrow at Aedan’s tone but persevered. “You surely know why I am here, after all it involves Leto and Lucen.” 

“And how did you find out so quickly?” Aedan asked. “I was just telling Rhys about it.” 

“Leto came to me, how else would I have found out Aedan? You can’t be surprised by that.” Fenris shifted slightly, his armor creaked in the quiet that had fallen over the hall.

“I guess I’m not,” Aedan sighed. “I’m not changing my mind, Fenris.”

“Can I ask why you would do this to them, Aedan? Do you understand how damned lonely it is in that cell, and taking away the person who means so much to you could do more harm than good?” Fenris asked.

“Two times Luce has changed and both times Leto was involved.” Aedan sat back in his chair so he could look up at Fenris. “I had to do it, Fenris. It’ll just be until we can get this fixed. But right now it’s something I can’t ignore.” 

“So you’re blaming Leto and punishing him then?” Fenris asked.

“I’m not blaming or punishing anyone,” Aedan said. “I’m taking something out of the equation that might be a trigger for Luce.” He could feel Rhys’ eyes on him, but kept his gaze on Fenris.

“You are punishing Leto, and it seems a lot like you are blaming him for the times Lucen has changed. You can’t control how they feel about each other, and this will likely make it worse for both of them. What will you say if Lucen changes anyway, because he can’t see Leto? Will you still blame him then?” Fenris fought the urge to yell at Aedan, for once letting his common sense keep him check rather than his anger.

“I’m not blaming him,” Aedan said with gritted teeth. “Their connection has made Lucen volatile. If he changes without Leto’s presence, then we’ll know and look into what factor changed him that time. Right now, this is all I’ve got. He’s my son, Fenris. What would you have me do?” 

“Not punish him and my nephew in the process. You are blaming him if you force them apart, say that its because of him Lucen changed. He was protecting Leto the first time, you expected him to just let bandits take them? Not protect his friend? What else are you doing other than blaming him? Maybe it’s strong emotions, did you think of that Aedan? Or are you so sure Leto is at fault that you couldn’t wait to split them apart?” Fenris replied, his brands lit up slightly as he stepped forward, into Aedan’s space.

“Excuse me?” Aedan growled. “It is strong emotions, I’m sure of it. But I have to know if it’s worse when Leto is near or not, and right now it looks like it is. If I’m wrong, I’m fucking wrong, but you need to back off and see what happens first before you go throwing accusations at me for how I’m choosing to protect my child.” 

“I think you both need to calm down,” Rhys said evenly.

“So I’m not supposed to protect my nephew? I’m not supposed to speak up when I see him being wronged Aedan? Don’t tell me fucking back off, I’m not going to do that, not when it comes to Leto. He’s my blood Aedan, mine and I will back him. From where I’m standing you’re blaming him and I’m not going to stand for it.” Fenris snarled in response.

“Did I say any of those things?” Aedan asked. he rose to his feet. “Don’t put words into my fucking mouth, Fenris.” 

“Don’t rise up on me unless you plan to start swinging, Aedan.” Fenris tensed in case Aedan did decide to mix it up with him. “You didn’t have to say it, it’s clear as fucking day you’re blaming Leto for Lucen changing so quickly.”

“Only to you because you are projecting, Fenris. You aren’t in that cell right now and Anders isn’t being taken from you,” Aedan hissed.

“I said that’s enough!” Rhys cried.

“How dare you?” Fenris snapped before Rhys got between them. 

“Out of my way, I won’t be spoken to like that.” the elven warden moved to slide past Rhys and get at Aedan.

“Yeah, Rhys,” Aedan snarled. “Move out of his way.” 

“You heard the man, give him what he wants.” Fenris said as he let his brands light up enough to reflect off his armor.

“You don’t fucking scare me, Fenris.” Black began to leech into Aedan’s eyes.

“There you three are I--Andraste’s tits!” Anders rushed over and inserted himself between Aedan and Fenris, backing up against Rhys. “What in the Void is happening!”

“Your husband’s an asshole,” Aedan snapped. 

“You don’t scare me either, move Anders. I’ll show him just how much of an asshole I can be when pushed.” Fenris’ voice was a low growl as he got ready to launch himself at his foe.

“Stop it,” Anders said calmly. “Both of you go and sit down.”

“Out of my way Anders, now.” Fenris hissed.

“With all due respect, Commander, no. Now sit or else I’ll make the both of you sit.” 

“As will I,” Rhys added.

Aedan’s lip curled in disdain, but he slowly took his seat.

“Insubordinate jackass.” Fenris muttered as he backed up and took his own seat.

“Stop it,” Anders chided. “Both of you. Now what happened here?” 

“He’s punished Leto and Lucen by telling them they couldn’t see each other any more. He’s blaming Leto for what happened.” Fenris spat angrily.

“I am not blaming him,” Aedan said between gritted teeth. “Get it through your stubborn fucking head.” 

“Stop,” Anders said again. “Don’t insult each other.” He narrowed his eyes at Fenris. “Or me.” 

“He dared to say I was projecting onto them.” Fenris snapped, and added air quotes for emphasis. “My nephew is hurt, and I’m not going to be fucking insulted by him.” he said.

Anders muttered to Andraste for strength before he sighed. “What would you want Aedan to do, love?” He held up his hand to forestall any objections that Aedan might have.

“Not keep them apart, but it’s clear he thinks its better and because he said so we all have to fall in line, and do what Commander Cousland says.” Fenris said angrily. 

“No, we have to do what the parent of Lucen wishes,” Aedan snapped. “I’m his father, Fenris. My son is hurting and you think I want to cause him more pain? Think for a fucking moment. Do you even fucking know me?” 

“Aedan,” Rhys said softly and placed a hand on the First Warden’s shoulder. “Calm down.” 

“I thought I did, but I see that was wrong. Guess Leto means fuck all to you then. Do what you want, I just hope you’re wrong.” Fenris got up and grabbed his weapon. “You all can go to the Void, I’m going home.”

“You aren’t listening,” Anders admonished. “Sit please. Aedan, you will speak calmly or not speak at all.” 

“It doesn’t matter what I say, or how I say it Anders. He’s made up his mind and you know it’s like getting a golem to move without a control rod once he’s done so. Just let me leave, I’m done here since Aedan will do as he pleases anyway, fuck the rest of us.” Fenris made no move to sit down, the only sign he had calmed somewhat was the dimming of his brands as he remained still.

“That’s my son down there,” Aedan said, his hands curled into fists on the table so as to retain what little control he had. “My son. I won’t lose him again. You can hate me on behalf of Leto if you want to, Fenris. But if you think for one instant I gain any pleasure out of any of this, or I’m doing it for any other reason other than the need to help Luce, then you and I have nothing more to say to each other. All of you might love Luce, but none of you love him the way Morrigan and I do. I want my son back.”

“I know he’s your son, how many times do you need to remind us of that? Fine, I get it, you will protect your son no matter the cost. Well I’ll protect my nephew as well.” Fenris turned his gaze to the floor, his expression closed off as he tried not lose his temper.

“I’ll say it as many times as it needs to be said,” Aedan muttered. “Until you stop expecting me to do anything different for him than I already have. You want Leto to be happy, but I won’t sacrifice Lucen, just so Leto can have that happiness. Once we have a better idea of why Lucen seems to be changing around Leto, then we can talk about this.”

Fenris flinched, his gaze on the floor as he fought not to fly off the handle and make things worse. He finally turned and whispered into Anders ear before he let his head drop to his hands.

“Then go, love,” Anders murmured quietly. “I won’t keep you here.” 

“Explain my position if you must but I need to go before I get worse. I’m sorry.” Fenris didn’t look at Aedan as he all but fled the hall for their rooms.

Aedan half rose to his feet, but Rhys was quicker, pushing the First Warden back down. “You two need a break from each other.” 

Anders rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry, Aedan. Fenris is taking some of this personally. Some of the reasons you know and some you don’t.” He lowered his hands. “Fenris sees Leto as less a nephew, and more as a son. He doesn’t have any children of his own, and we won’t ever.” 

“Then he should understand my position,” Aedan growled. 

“He does, but I think that’s what scares him. He feels as helpless as you do and only wants Leto to be happy.” 

**  
Fenris didn’t go to their room, instead he went to the office he shared with Anders to leave him a note as to where he was headed. _I need to get my head together, taking a long walk, be back later. I love you and I’m sorry. F~_

A few hours later found Anders sitting behind his desk, his eyes continually straying to the water clock nearby. He pushed the scroll aside he’s been scouring and drummed his fingers on the polished wood of his desk.

Fenris entered the office and shut the door behind him, he seemed tired, almost ready to drop when he called out to his husband. “Hey…”

“There you are,” Anders said in relief. He blinked and cleared his throat, ducking his head back to the scroll. “I mean, hey.” He didn’t want Fenris to think that he had been fighting himself for hours to not go and look for Fenris.

“Sorry, love, I needed to get my head straight. I didn’t think I’d been gone so long. I uh...I need, I need to talk and I’m sorry I fucked things up today, and I’m sorry that I’m not dealing well. I almost, I almost went back home to my papa to sob like I’m a child. I ...oh gods, Anders, Leto is lucky I’m not his father, I’m not good at this…” Fenris drew a breath then looked away before he mumbled…”I’m sorry, started to ramble.”

“Do you know why I have always hesitated or changed the subject when you brought up children, love?” Anders asked. 

“I can guess...but I probably won’t like it, will I?” Fenris replied softly.

“Because I don’t want to have children,” Anders said bluntly. “It never had anything to do with you, and everything to do with my own selfishness. I like children, but to raise one as my own?” Anders shook his head. “I won’t ever take the chance of becoming like my father. I won’t inflict that on anyone. But I know… I know I’ve robbed you of something that you wanted.”

“You didn’t, I didn’t realize I wanted it until...I saw Leto with Varania and Zevran; saw how much Lucen means to Aedan and Morrigan. I hate the jealousy that clawed at me when I saw them. My fucking childhood was taken from me, and I can’t get it back. I mean, I have Lethander but we’re adults. I’m an idiot, wanting something I shouldn’t. I just need to get myself together and stop wallowing, it’s pathetic.” Fenris pulled his legs up and rested his forehead against his knees. 

“I knew,” Anders whispered. “I knew you wanted it from the moment you and Luce connected when he first showed up. I’m sorry, love.”

“Nothing to be sorry about now, just...thank you for being my rock for so long. I’m going to take a bath and I’d love it if you joined me in bed afterward, please.” Fenris looked up at Anders briefly then back to the floor.

Anders rolled the scroll back up and absently patted the pouch at his waist which held the key to Lucen’s cell, it’s weight a reminder of what he was allowing to happen. “Let’s go, love.” 

Fenris took Anders hand and led him to their rooms so he could take a quick bath, unlike his usual long soaks when he was in a mood. He was brisk, almost clinical as he washed, since he needed to be with his husband more than he needed to sit and sulk. 

Anders had felt like he had just settled down in a chair to one side of the room before Fenris was rising from the tub and reaching for a drying cloth. “That was quick,” he said with a grin.

“I was in a hurry.” Fenris replied before he slipped a robe on and held his hand out for the other man to take.

Anders had removed his boots, so he walked barefoot with Fenris back to their bedroom. He squeezed Fenris’ fingers, feeling the warm metal of his wedding ring against his skin.

Fenris sighed as he slipped under the covers and pulled Anders to him. “Why am I so stupid?”

“You care,” Anders said. He pulled back long enough to slip out of his robes and breeches before settling back down. “If you didn’t then it wouldn’t affect you so much.” 

“I guess, I don’t know how I will face Aedan again, or anyone else tomorrow.” Fenris arched up and kissed Anders softly, his expression open as he tried to let how he felt slip through their bond.

“It’ll be fine, love. You and Aedan have made it a habit over the years to fight and forgive.” 

“I don’t think he’s going to forgive this time. We’ll see I suppose,” Fenris kissed Anders again then clung to him in the near dark. “When this is done, I want to give up being Commander and move to the Villa.”

“What?” Anders sat up abruptly to peer down at Fenris.

“We don’t have the taint anymore, I want to spend time with my husband. I’m sick of this Anders, I just want to enjoy our time left together.” Fenris replied

Anders tried not to think about the reality of their situation as much as possible. With the taint gone, both of them could conceivably live longer, stay together for longer. But in the end, Fenris was always going to outlive Anders. 

“When this is over with, we’ll go to Aedan and ask to be released,” Anders whispered. 

“Only if you want to, don’t let me make that kind of decision for us.” Fenris replied.

“No, you’re right,” Anders said with a sigh. He flopped back to the bed and threw his arm over his eyes. “It’s time. We’re not getting any younger.” 

“I worry about what will happen when you are...gone. If I will survive my grief.” Fenris said as he straddled Anders and gently tugged his arm away so he could kiss him again. 

“I’m sorry I should not speak of such things, perhaps we can end the night better than our day began? Please my heart?” 

“Now how could I refuse that?” Anders asked as a wicked smile spread across his lips. 

**

Fenris had become a sound sleeper in the last few years, enough so that the sound of their door sliding open didn’t cause him to stir. It did cause Anders to twitch in his sleep, but he rolled over and draped his arm across Fenris’ bare chest.

Outside in the darkened hallway, Daer pressed herself against the wall, her eyes darting from one end of the corridor to the other, searching for any signs that someone was coming. Next to her, Leto crouched down in front of the partially opened door, his body stock still.

“If they wake up, or if I get caught, run like the Void. No sense in you getting busted too.” Leto whispered.

“Please,” she whispered back. “I don’t run. Now go and get the key. We don’t have much time left.” 

“Yes’m”. With that, Leto slipped into the room, careful not to use his brands lest he alert both men to his presence. He skirted the open door to their room, and held still as he looked for Anders belt.

Anders might have become a more responsible person over the years, but he was still sloppy when it came to his own room. His clothes were scattered all over the floor, and his belt lay just at the foot of the bed, several pouches hanging from it.

Leto would have cussed but he knew silence and speed were his only hope of getting the key and fleeing. He palmed the small bit of ore he’d nabbed to substitute for the key he’d hoped to get. He opened one pouch but didn’t feel the metal. Before he could get to the next one, he noticed a bright sliver of green in the dark room staring at him.

Fenris placed a hand on Ander’s chest, feeling the slow rise and fall of his husband’s breath as he slept. “I wondered if this would happen,” he whispered, his voice carrying in the stillness of the night. Anders shifted next to him and Fenris paused until the mage settled once more under his hand. 

“Is Daer out in the hallway or have you come alone?” he asked quietly. 

“Hallway.” Leto said without moving and barely breathing. “Don’t wake him, please uncle.” Leto begged. 

“I won’t,” Fenris said flatly. “I don’t want to know where you are going to go, but at least leave a way that I can reach you. Everyone will be worried.”

“Of course, with Serah Tethras. Now which pouch is it?” Leto asked as he stared at his uncle with worry that Anders would hear them.

Fenris shook his head. “I won’t tell you. At least that way I can say that I didn’t aid you beyond keeping silent. But you need to hurry. I won’t wake Anders, but I can’t keep him asleep either.” 

Leto nodded and went back to carefully and slowly rifling through the pouches, only a casual glance towards the two men as he worked.

At one point, the two elves froze when Anders muttered in his sleep and rolled over on his stomach. Fenris kept his eyes on Leto and moved to lay his head down on Anders’ back, inserting his legs between Anders’, and encircling him with his arms, a reassuring presence for the sleeping mage. He knew that there was going to be the Void to pay for his part in what was happening, but he had meant it when he had said he would do anything for his nephew. Keeping Lucen and Leto apart was wrong, as was imprisoning Lucen. Fenris had fought long and hard to make sure that no one would ever be in chains again. 

He just hoped that Anders would understand.

Leto finally found the right pouch, and with one last look to his uncle, traded out the lump of ore for the key so he could slip away to free Lucen.

Fenris closed his eyes for a moment and breathed out slowly. “Go,” he whispered. “Look to Varric every two days for a message and I will do the same.” 

“Thank you and I’m sorry.” Leto whispered before he eased out of the door and out to where Daer awaited him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silence isn't always golden, Aedan knows something and Fenris needs to come clean.

“Let’s get going, that was too close.” 

“What in the Void was going on in there?” Daer and Leto took off in hurried strides down the hall. She cursed under her breath in Dalish. “Did Fenris wake up? I could barely hear you two talking.” 

"Yeah but let's get Luce first." Leto hurried towards the dungeon

When they reached the bottom of the stairs that had taken them into the depths of Arlathan, Daer put her hand on Leto’s arm. “Wait,” she whispered. “My turn.” She crept ahead, the torches that lined the walls throwing her shadow against the ceiling. While it had been too dangerous to use magic on Fenris and Anders in order to get the key, the same couldn’t be said for the guards. 

Fenris would have felt the magic building in the air, but the guards weren't Light Warriors so they sensed nothing until Daer rounded a corner and finished casting her spell. A miasma shot from her fingertips, filling the hall. A single breath of the sleeping fog was all it took before the guards began to drop, crashing to the ground. 

She grinned, and with a wave of her hand the fog dissipated. “All clear!” she called back to Leto.

"Damn, I'm glad you're on our side." Leto said as he brushed past her to free Lucen. He opened the door quickly, no finesse left since he was so close to freeing his friend and lover.

“Hey, missed us?" Leto said with a grin

Lucen sat upright. “What’s going on?” he asked. “I heard noises outside the cell.” 

“We’re showing Rhys that he needs to rethink his security,” Daer said. “But mostly we’re getting you out of here.” 

"Hold still while I get these off you." Leto unlocked the manacles quickly so they could flee

“W-wait,” Lucen said even as the chains began to fall away. “I don’t want to hurt either one of you. And how in the Void did you get the key?” 

Daer rolled her eyes. “How do you think? We stole it, or more Leto did. And you aren't going to hurt us, Luce. Now shut up and let us get you out of here.” 

Leto glared at Lucen for a moment before he tugged him to his feet. "We didn't do this for you to chicken out now. Get up and let’s go.” 

“Hold on.” Lucen pulled Leto off balance, hauling the elf into his lap. His hands came up to cup Leto’s face in his hands the way he hadn’t been able to before, and he leaned down to kiss him, savoring the small moan that escaped Leto.

The younger elf pulled back to breathe. “As much as I want you to ravish me, we need to go. We’ll have time for that later. Daer, hid your things, we can get them on the way out. Let’s go Luce.” Leto got to his feet and held a hand out to his lover so they could flee.

“We’ll be hunted,” Lucen said. More so that he could convince himself to run than to warn them.

“So?” Daer said with a shrug. “At least you’ll be free until we can figure this out. Now come on. Stop stalling.”

“Yeah, we need to hurry up so we don’t get caught out when there’s a shift change in the guard. Hurry up, Luce.” Leto said impatiently as he tapped his foot and glanced out in the hallway.

“If I ask, will you both bring me right back? If I get out of control…” 

“Yes, yes,” Daer sighed. “I promise. Now get your overly-muscled-for-your-age self up and let’s go.” 

Leto had gone to check the hallway, and once it was clear he waved them out and towards a pathway he’d found earlier in the week. “Come on, we’ve wasted too much time as it is.” 

With Lucen in the middle, Leto leading the way and Daer bringing up the rear, the three left the cell. Before she closed and locked the door, Daer conjured an illusion of Lucen sitting on the cot. It wouldn't hold up to close scrutiny, but it would buy them a few more minutes at least.

Leto was silent until they’d secured Lucen’s belongings and surfaced a couple of miles outside of Arlathan, the sky a paling red as they finally took a few minutes to rest and to let Lucen get his gear together.

Lucen sat down on a partially rotted log and inventories the things they had stashed away for him. He slipped on his armor, and examined his sword before sheathing it at his waist.

“It’s all there,” Daer muttered. “I collected everything myself before giving it to Leto to hide.” 

“Sorry. It’s just habit to check it all.” Lucen’s face was slightly red in the light of the rising sun. 

“You look much better like that,” Leto grinned as he stood to embrace Lucen. “Come on, I know where a Dalish clan is, and we can stop with them, rest up and maybe find their Keeper Merrill, she’s a friend of the family.” 

“I haven’t seen Merrill in a long time.” Lucen rose to his feet and slung his pack over his shoulder, the metal of his armor clinking. “You sure she won’t just turn us over to Rhys?”

“No, she’s not fond of uncle Fenris. Old, bad blood I think. Besides, she’s not the same as other mages I’ve known. She won’t turn us over, come on. I want to get more distance between us and Arlathan before they realize we’ve gone.” Leto adjusted his blades and headed down the narrow path towards the woods, and he hoped the renewed Clan Sabrae.

The three were silent for some time before Lucen finally spoke as they picked their way towards the woods. “Thank you. Both of you.” 

“No need for thanks, we weren’t going to let you rot in there while they ran in fucking circles Luce.” Leto’s voice was harder than usual, brittle as he walked.

“Leto…” Lucen stopped in the middle of the faint path. “Don’t be angry with them. They were scared.” 

“I don’t care. I’m going to be mad for a while, just let me have this.” Leto sped up, eager to be out of sight and not discuss how upset he was at the others.

Lucen’s lips twitched as he fought not to smile. “How long until we reach them?” he asked instead.

“Hopefully a couple more hours.” Leto said before he glanced back to Daer. 

“You’re quiet, what’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she said. “It’s just the Dalish aren’t always welcoming of me.”

“We’re in this together and Merrill won’t mistreat you Daer. Come on, I’m eager for a hot meal and to sleep easy, at least tonight.” Leto gave her a grin as he knocked shoulders with her. “Adventure remember?”

“Adventure,” she said dryly. “I did want this. besides, you two will get yourselves killed without me.” 

Lucen snorted in amusement. 

“We’ll see, come on you two I’m starving.” Leto called as he headed down the path feeling much better about their escape.

**  
The parents on the other hand, weren’t feeling so good about the escape. it had taken a few hours before they had been found missing, and Aedan paced back and forth in the dining hall as he battled the rage inside him.

“How the fuck did this happen?” he growled. “How the fuck did they escape?”

“Well, we did train them well, yes?” Zevran said as he popped a grape between his lips and chewed slowly. “I must say I am impressed.” 

Fenris watched Aedan pace, unsure if he should say anything at all. He’d fought the urge to confess to Anders, his guilt at keeping secrets kept his mouth shut. Instead he tracked Aedan’s movements.

Anders’ head snapped to the side and his eyes widened slightly before narrowing again at Fenris. “What do you know?” he asked in Tevene. “I can feel your guilt.”

“Nothing, my guilt is for the anguish Aedan is in as well as Morrigan. Do not assume my husband.” Fenris murmured in reply, his gaze on Aedan then to Morrigan, his gaze steady even as she stared at him.

“Leto and Daer won’t let any harm come to Lucen,” Morrigan finally said. 

“But what about the harm that Lucen can do?” asked Rhys. ‘We need to track them now before the trail goes cold.” 

Fenris glanced at Morrigan, then at Anders before he spoke.”Any idea on where they would go? It’s not as if they know many people here that aren’t in this room?” 

Aedan froze in mid-step and his lip curled. “Someone here knows something. Out with it now.” 

Fenris arched his eyebrow but remained silent as he stared at Aedan.

“Love,” Anders said quietly in Tevene. “What did you do?” He was convinced of it now. Fenris was far too unconcerned.

“Nothing, did I not sleep in your arms all night, _love_?.” Fenris said as he shifted ever so subtly in case Aedan decided to charge him, or if Anders kept questioning him in front of the others.

Anders pressed his lips together in a thin line, but kept his silence.

Aedan pounded his fist on the table. “Someone here helped them.”

“We all did, yes?” Zevran answered. “As I said, we all trained them well. Do you not doubt that if they wished to they could perform such a feat?” He glanced at Varania. 

“Lucen nearly took my head off when we last sparred, Leto is powerful and takes after his father in terms of stealth. We all trained them as warriors, battle mages, rogues. Do you doubt them after the years we've spent honing their abilities?” Fenris said as he shifted again, unsure when Aedan would decide he knew the culprit.

“Damnit.” Aedan pushed away from the table and began to pace again. “I’m going out to go look for them.” 

“We don’t know how they even got out,” Anders pointed out.

Fenris looked at his nails then back to his husband. “How many different ways out of here are there? Should we split up to seek them out?” he asked with a glance at Morrigan.

Morrigan nodded. “Fenris, Anders, and I will search the dungeon. we might find something that was missed.”

“Finally a plan, I’ll meet you at your room. I want to change into my leathers if we’re to crawl around looking for clues.” Fenris straightened up, curious as to what their next steps would be.

“No,” Aedan said, suspicion written clearly on his face. “No, I want to hear why Fenris helped them to escape. Don’t act as if you didn’t, Fenris. yesterday you were so angry, and now suddenly they disappear into the night, using a key that your husband had in his possession?” 

Fenris folded his arms and glared at Aedan, his voice flat, eerily calm as he spoke. “I did not help them escape. I slept with Anders last night, all night after I came back to our rooms. Do you think I’d help them escape, knowing how you reacted to me disagreeing with Lucen being caged? Besides, what point is there in being angry now? Unless you want me to target you, since you’ve decided to blame me.” 

“Hey I have an idea.” Anders snapped his fingers. “Why don’t the both of you shut up and let’s all work together to help these young people before one of them gets killed, all right?” 

He stood. “Let’s meet back here in two hours and report any findings. Come on, Morrigan and Fenris. The rest of you can split up between yourselves.” 

“As you wish, Anders.” Fenris stalked out of the room towards his own suite, eager to look for them.

Pulling his staff from his back, Anders left the dining hall, Morrigan trailing behind him, her eyes sharp.

Fenris emerged from their rooms in his old leathers, his Sword of Mercy on his back. “Ready?” he asked, careful not to look either mage in the eye.

“Let’s go,” Anders said flatly.

There was no awkwardness in the silence that fell on them, but there was a tenseness in the air, one that grew thicker the deeper into Arlathan they went. 

Fenris wanted to ask what was wrong, but he knew. He knew that Anders had felt his betrayal and the wall he felt when he tried to communicate through their bond made him realize how deep in the shit he was with his husband. He remained a silent sentinel as they went, Anders in front, Morrigan in the middle and him guarding their backs.

Anders didn’t stop until he had reached Lucen’s empty cell. He tapped the butt of his staff against the floor and magic sparked. “They didn’t disappear with magic,” he said as he watched shimmering lines dance around the room, searching. “The cell would have prevented it, but you never know…” 

“You could do magic when I was in here, you put me to sleep a few times remember. Wouldn’t that mean they could have teleported out?” Fenris asked cautiously.

“No,” Morrigan answered. “There’s a spell in the very stones, like the one that was on Minrathous to prevent warriors from teleporting in they once had.” 

“They walked out.” For a moment, Anders let his anger show.

Fenris swallowed the sharp retort on his tongue, he knew he was wrong so he let it go. “Where else should we look then?” he replied, his tone soft.

“Did they take anything else besides the key?” Anders asked bluntly while he strode back to the cell door.

“From the cell?” Fenris asked as he let Morrigan go ahead of him. 

“From me,” Anders clarified. “When they stole the key to the cell from me, did they take anything else?” His words had become dull. He stopped in the hallway and stared down at the floor.

Fenris swallowed his answer when Anders turned from them. He sighed and followed Morrigan out, his answer a terse 'No' as he tensed, sure Anders was going to snap at him for his transgression.

Anders waved his hand over the floor and waited. This time the shimmering lines erupted in a path that could be seen, filling the hallway. 

“Sleeping fog,” Morrigan murmured. “You can see how the trail it left touched where the guards would have been standing.” 

“Daer… They didn’t use magic to leave, but to come in. That means they must have left another way.” Anders made a cutting gesture with his hand and the magic disappeared. 

“How did they get out with no one seeing them? Rhys or Cadewyn would know of a way out perhaps?” Fenris said as he watched Anders stalk around, then glanced to Morrigan.

“Leto is smart and must have found a way,” Morrigan agreed. 

“Then we’ll have to ask if they know of one, because I can’t see any other way they could have escaped.” Anders shook his head and continued back down the hall towards the stairs.

Fenris reached out to Morrigan and held her arm a moment until Anders was out of earshot. “Forgive me, I did not implicitly help, but I didn’t stop them either.” 

“I know,” she whispered. “Thank you. For all the fallout that will happen from this, know that you have my gratitude.” 

“I’ll remind you of that when he kicks me out.” Fenris tried for humor and failed as he nodded towards the cell. “Come, he’s already mad, no need to make it worse by lingering.”

“I will make sure that Aedan does not blame you,” she promised him. “It is the least I can do.” 

“He can only kill me, I’m more worried about Anders and what will happen when we are next alone.” Fenris whispered as they headed upstairs.

**  
No one had found a thing, but Cadewyn and Rhys were now searching through the archives of Arlathan for any mention of an entrance into the dungeons. Zevran had slipped out of the room after the discussion with a promise to scour the dungeons himself. If there was another entrance, he said he would find it.

By the time the meeting had broken up and everyone had reported in, Anders had fallen silent, his eyes carefully blank while he made his way back to his room he shared with Fenris. He didn’t acknowledge his husband walked quietly behind him.

Fenris shut the door once Anders was in their room, but didn’t lock it. He hadn’t felt afraid of Anders in a long, long time but the way he’d gone quiet made him worry. His husband went silent for very few reasons, and being so angry he had no words was never a good thing. He sat at the table and waited for Anders to speak, prepared for the worst.

Anders carefully set his staff on the rack to one side of the room, and then walked to the sideboard to fetch a glass of wine for himself. He declined to offer Fenris any and wouldn’t even look at him.

“Anders...talk to me, please?” Fenris asked as he watched his husband, sure that he’d crossed a line that might just break them.

“What would you like to talk about, Commander?” Anders asked flatly. 

“Anders...don’t, don’t do this. You are angry, please just talk to me. You closed your side of our bond, and I’m scared. Please?” Fenris didn’t get up, but he would do anything Anders asked of him if it meant being forgiven.

“You lied to me,” Anders hissed. “You’re still lying to me. 

“Anders, please. Can you honestly tell me you wouldn't have helped them?” Fenris asked as he rose to go to his husband, to let him see how sorry he was but that he had no regrets for helping them flee. 

“Maybe I would have,” Anders said softly. “But you never gave me the chance to. You went behind my back and did… What did you even do, Fenris? Stood there while they stole the key from me? Gave them coin? What did you do?” 

“Nothing, I did nothing. I just didn’t stop them.” Fenris said before he tried to embrace Anders so he’d look at him.

Anders stiffened in Fenris’ arms. “I’m caught in the middle. On one hand, there’s the part of me that recognizes just how dangerous Lucen is right now, and that I want to protect him, Daer, and Leto. On the other hand I’m so angry because no one deserves to be punished for something that isn’t their fault. Mages never deserve to be treated badly for something that they couldn’t help, just as Velanna didn’t deserve to be treated badly for what she and Justice did to survive. I fought for mages, and I fought for Velanna’s right to be treated as something more than an abomination. I can’t say if I would have helped or not, but they’re just teenagers, Fenris.”

The elven fighter pulled back and sat down so he wouldn’t fall to his knees and beg. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t see them suffer. I didn’t just hand them the key, and I didn’t actively help. I didn’t think you’d help them, you were keeping the key from everyone, even Aedan and it’s his son that was locked up. I...please Anders, please.” Fenris jumped up to pace, careful to avoid touching his husband for the time being.

“If this was Kinloch and you could have helped another mage escape, would you have done it?” Fenris asked as he grasped at something to help Anders see why he did it.

“I would have and did,” Anders sighed. “I just…” He scrubbed at his face with his hands. “I kept the key because I know what the temptation to release someone you think is hurting is like. I know what it’s like to sit and stare at the answer to their freedom in your hands and not use it because sometimes there’s more at stake. But I also know what it is to be locked away, chained in the dark because of something you might do.” He lifted both his hands, his palms up. 

“There are no winners in any of this, whether Luce had stayed or went. I’m just hurt that you lied to me about it. It’s not that you did it, love, I should have seen that coming, and in a way I guess I did and wanted it to happen, or else why keep the key in a pouch thrown to the floor? But I’m angry that you looked me in the face and acted as if you knew nothing at all.” 

“I figured you’d know from the bond, and how my fear spiked when you looked at me. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have lied but what else could I have done? Had you asked me before we left the room, I would have confessed. But it’s done and all I can do is beg you not to leave or hate me. Whatever happens, know that I just ...I just thought it was better for them to get the chance to be free.” Fenris twisted his ring as he waited for Anders to do something.

“Freedom is always better, love. But Lucen is a very real danger.” Anders took a long sip of his wine. “I just don’t know what to say to you right now. You made your choice as my husband and as a Commander. One I can fight, but the other…” 

“The choice I made was not as your commander, it was my heart overriding my sense.” Fenris kept his gaze down, voice soft and posture almost a perfect mimicry of when he was property. He didn’t realize he’d done it, not with how long it had been since he felt the need to beg.

“Aedan will have your head for this,” Anders whispered. 

“I know, that’s all he’ll do if I’m lucky.” Fenris covered his face in his hands and sighed. “You have to tell him, don’t you?”

“No,” Anders denied. “I won’t tell him anything at all. I won’t do that to you.” 

“Then I’ll confess, and hope I survive it.” Fenris said dully. “Tell Lethander I’m sorry, if I am killed for this.” 

For the first time, Anders huffed a laugh. “Aedan won’t kill you, love. You know that.” 

“This has to do with Lucen, and I fucked up. I took him when Fen’Harel had me, and now this. He very well might forget anything between us, and let his rage speak for him. I am not joking when I say these things Anders.” Fenris drummed his fingers on the table as he tried to force himself to move, to actually put action to his words.

Fear trickled up Anders’ spine. “Don’t,” he choked out. “Don’t tell him then.” 

“He probably knows already, you saw how he looked at me earlier.” Fenris said. “Maybe I need to sleep on it, or at least wait until I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up.”

Anders nodded. “Don’t ever lie to me again, love. You…” He pressed his lips into a thin line. 

“Say it, I already feel like shit for what I’ve done. Just say it and get it all out between us Anders.” Fenris finally looked up at his husband, terrified for what he’d see.

“When you do these things, you don’t think about how it will affect me or those around you. I thought we were past that,” Anders finally said. “You act as if I don’t know what it’s like to see someone that I care about in that very cell. Or as if I don’t know what it’s like to be in one myself. I know all too well, love. 

“Maybe I was wrong for agreeing to put Lucen in there in the first place, maybe there’s still some of the Circle teachings in me that tells me that he’s a danger and needs to be saved from himself. But you didn’t talk about any of that with me. I love you, but when you spiral as you have been, you can become selfish, mired in your own pain you can’t see anyone else's.” 

“I know, and all I have is I’m sorry. I thought I was past it too, but this is too much, it’s too close to my heart. It’s made me become that person you hate. I will understand if you cannot forgive me for this.” Fenris’ voice was rough as he went to Anders again, hopeful he would be allowed the embrace he needed.

This time Anders gave it to him, pressing a fierce kiss to the top of Fenris’ head. “I don’t hate that person, I hate the things he does. I forgive you, love.”

He clung to Anders, his voice thick as he thanked Anders. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” Anders sighed. “And I’m sorry that I didn't talk more about any of this with you before I jumped in and backed Rhys when it came to locking Luce away. That wasn’t fair of me. It put us at odds with each of us not knowing how to talk to the other about it.” 

“You did what you thought was best, unlike me. No need for an apology. The failure is mine Anders, and I will take whatever comes with it.” Fenris held onto Anders tightly, grateful he hadn’t lost his husband.

Anders opened his mouth to speak, but someone pounded on their door, shaking the carved wood. 

“I’ll get it.” Fenris pulled away reluctantly to get the door before whoever it was knocked it off the hinges. 

“What in the Void is …” his face fell when he saw who was at the door.

Aedan’s eyes were dark, and his jaw set in grim lines. “One chance,” he growled. “One chance to confess to what you did and what you know. If you don’t and I find out you had anything to do with my son disappearing, I will make sure that you regret you didn’t do the right thing when you had the chance.” 

Fenris stepped aside so they wouldn’t have it out in the hallway. Once Aedan was in he turned to face the music.

“I didn’t actively help, but I didn’t stop Leto when I had the chance either. I let my heart overrule my head and I lied to you and Anders, I’m sorry Aedan, I will understand if you can’t forgive what I’ve done.” 

Aedan let out an inarticulate cry of rage. He grabbed Fenris by his tunic and turned, slamming him against the wall. “Luce is out there because of you,” he snarled, his face inches from Fenris’. If something happens to him… If he gets hurt…”

“Aedan!” Anders shouted. “Let him go. Luce isn’t alone. He has Daer and Leto with him. They won’t let anything happen to him.” 

Aedan pushed away from Fenris and took several steps back. “You’re relieved of command until Luce is found. You let someone who might be a danger to those around him out in the world.” 

“Just as you did the Architect,” Anders said from behind him.

“This is different,” Aedan snapped. 

“No, it really isn't,” Anders retorted. “The difference is that you love Luce.”

“Until we find him,” Aedan repeated. 

Fenris gasped for air as he remained slumped against the wall. He glanced at Aedan then at his husband. “Yes, First Warden, ser.” he rasped before he closed his eyes. 

“I’ll be out in the practice yard.” Aedan strode from the room, his anger radiating off of him. 

When he was gone, Anders hurried over to Fenris. he placed his hands on Fenris’ chest and healed any forming bruises. “I’m proud of you, love.” 

“Nothing to be proud of, I shouldn't have lied in the first place.” Fenris said as he finally got to his feet. “You should have dinner, I’m going to have let Velanna know she’s in charge for now, and I should tell them what’s happened since Daer is gone too.” 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Anders asked.

“I don’t know, I just want to go to sleep, and pretend none of this happened.” Fenris flopped face first into their bed with a groan. “Just leave me alone for a while, please.”

“I’ll be back later with some food for you. we can talk about it again then.” Anders threaded his fingers through Fenris’ hair and gently massaged his scalp. “I’ll be back.”

“I love you, and I am sorry.” Fenris said as he turned to his stomach so he could watch Anders go.

Anders gave Fenris a smile and walked out into the hall. When the door was shut behind him, his smile fell away. He had to find Zevran and Morrigan. Both of them hadn’t seemed surprised to find out that the teenagers had fled. Whether it was because they had known beforehand or they had guessed, Anders was going to find out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris turns over the keys, Daer and Leto butt heads, and some elves can't hold their liquor.

Morrigan arched an eyebrow at Anders’ arrival without Fenris. “How is he?” she asked quietly.

“He’ll be fine,” Anders said. He took a seat in between her and Zevran in the near empty dining hall. He didn’t want to go into detail, he knew how much Fenris hated having his personal issues being brought out for public consumption.

“I tried to reason with Aedan, but he wouldn’t hear me. I just hope we find the children soon so Aedan can be reassured they are fine.” Morrigan passed Anders a cup of tea before she sat back with her own drink. 

“And you two seem to not be worried,” Anders pointed out. “Why is that when everyone else has been losing their minds?”

Zevran gave him a sly smile. “Because as I have said, we have trained them well, yes? My Leto was able to break someone out of a magical, Arlathan dungeon. He and Daer have stymied everyone here as to how they did it. If they can do that, then I believe they can find a way to save Lucen, no?”

“They are in good hands with each other, and someone around here has to keep a level head Anders. Fenris is falling apart, Aedan is ready to break anyone who so much as looks at him sideways in half and Caedwyn is seething even though he looks calm. Do you really want to accuse either of us, Anders?” Morrigan smiled at him as she sipped her tea.

“Accusing either of you will get me nowhere. I won’t be so foolish as to do that. I’ll get nothing but riddles and become so confused I’ll start thinking the sky is green or whatever you two decide to convince me of.” 

“Too true,” Zevran said as he raised his wine glass in a small toast.

“Let’s come up with a plan to find them. Once Aedan is calmed, we should meet in the dining hall and discuss this like civilized people. If I start to show signs of panic, then you all should be terrified.” Morrigan sipped her tea as she stared at him curiously.

“I would love to see you in a panic, my dear,” Zevran purred.

Anders rolled his eyes. “Let’s not.”

“Believe me, tis not a pretty sight. Come, let’s take a break then find the others. Sitting idly about is making me irritated.” she set her cup aside so she could reach for the books she’d been perusing before Anders had found them.

“Yes, Ma’am,” Anders said politely and reached for a book himself.

“Good man.” she replied with a smirk.

**

Fenris arrived in the hallway that led into the foyer of the Keep in MInrathous, his heart heavy as he entered the dining hall. He’d hoped to avoid the others until he’d found Velanna, but of course his lack of luck came through again. He found her with Lethander and a few of the other wardens enjoying dinner. He went up to Velanna, tense as he felt everyone look at him.

“Velanna, I need to speak with you for a moment, it’s regarding the Keep.” Fenris said quietly.

Velanna’s eyebrows drew down sharply. “What’s happened?” 

“I’d like to speak to you privately, please.” Fenris asked as he glanced to his father then back to Velanna.

“Son, what is it?” Lethander asked.

Velanna placed a firm hand on Lethander’s shoulder and stood. “Yes, commander,” she said. “Lead the way.” She knew the shortest way to finding out was to give Fenris the opportunity to say what he came to say.

“I’ll tell you before I go back to Arlathan, papa.” Fenris turned to go towards his...now Velanna’s office. He shut the door and stood in front of the desk rather than behind it.

Velanna raised an eyebrow and waited. 

“I...I’ve been relieved of command until Leto, Lucen and Daer are found. They managed to escape last night and, I failed in my duty to stop them. So for that, I have lost my right to command. As the most senior warden present, you are now in charge, Warden Commander Velanna.” Fenris tried to keep his voice even but gave in to the hurt he felt, the failure he said out loud to her.

“Escape…” Velanna said slowly. “Escape from what?” 

“Lucen had been put in the same cell I was imprisoned in during Fen’Harel’s possession of me. He’d changed, shown that something of the old God was still in him and he was not able to control the changes. Both times he changed, Leto was present and he’d been involved, so Aedan forbade them to see each other.” 

Fenris swallowed and tried to keep himself together as he finished the tale. “Leto and Lucen got together, and being separated by Aedan, or maybe it was just the last straw...they broke him out of the cell. We don’t know where they have gone, but Daer is with them, we aren’t sure why she went along but they’re gone, I failed in my duties to them and as such I’ve lost command.” 

“Daer… helped break Lucen out of a cell in Arlathan,” Velanna whispered. 

“Yes, Commander.” Fenris kept his gaze to the floor, sure she was going to lose her temper with him after learning that her daughter was on the run with her friends.

Velanna clapped her hand over her mouth, her body shaking.

Fenris turned around when he heard nothing else from her, worried she was going to faint or lash out with her power. “Velanna?”

Her hand dropped from her mouth and laughter escaped. “Oh, all of you are such fools. If Daer wanted to do this then there was nothing you could have done to stop her. My daughter is strong willed and does as she wishes.” 

“Alright...I thought you were about to fry me with the look on your face.” Fenris stepped back and leaned against the desk. “Still, I’m sorry I did not do more to stop them. Let me give you the keys so I can see, papa, and get back before supper there.”

“Why was your command taken away, though?” she asked. “I don’t understand that?” 

“I didn’t stop Leto when I had the chance. I...I...I’ve been terrible about what’s happening and, I let that guide me instead of the right thing. I lied to them and Aedan said its just until they are found and brought back, but I think I need to let it go and be done as a Warden. This just proved it, Velanna.” Fenris sighed and took the keys to the office from his belt-pouch to hand her. 

“It’s yours now, just have someone move my things to my room when you are ready to take ownership of the office.” 

Velanna shook her head. “I can’t… You’re making this decision too quickly.”

“I’m not in command anymore, so it doesn’t matter. Here just take the keys, and for now, the Keep is yours, Commander. I’m going to see papa, then go back.” Fenris pressed the key ring into her hand and pulled back quickly before she saw him break.

She closed her hand around the keys and nodded. “This is your home, though. Don’t ever forget that.” 

“I won’t, excuse me please.” Fenris left her and headed to his room so he could compose himself before facing his father. 

**

Leto leaned back and sighed, he was full of good food, they’d been able to get an aravel and a bath in since they’d found clan Sabrae.

Lucen on the other hand was still scarfing down more of what the Dalish had been generous enough to give them. Daer watched in some amusement and fascination, as if she hadn’t seen how large Lucen’s appetite could be.

“Do you think if we put rocks or glass on the plate he would eat them without knowing? I don’t think he’s even been looking at what’s going into his mouth,” she said.

“He’d be fine until he broke a tooth. It’s been a few days in that cell, I’d eat everything in sight too.” Leto replied.

Lucen sent a rude gesture both their way without stopping. The aravel, while able to hold a whole dalish family, was still a bit cramped with Lucen inside it.  
“So you heard that part?” Leto teased as he leaned over to snag a scrap of food from Lucen’s plate. “Did Merrill say when she was coming by?”

“Soon,” Daer replied. She laid on one of the beds built into the side of the aravel, and rolled over so she was on her stomach, her chin propped up in her hands. 

“Good, I want to make a plan on what to do, or where to go. It wouldn’t surprise me if they decided to check here for us.” Leto stretched out once Lucen had moved the plate from his lap. 

“We could hide in Kirkwall,” Daer suggested. “Mother told me how to hide in the sewers of Darktown should I ever need to while I was in the city.”

“And that would be the second place they would look.” Lucen shrugged apologetically. “But if we have no other options…”

“You just don’t want to hide in a sewer,” she accused. 

“Do you?” Lucen shot back. 

She wrinkled her nose. “Good point.” 

“Minrathous is out of the question, and if we go back to Ferelden, Commander Howe will tell on us. Where can we go? Antiva, Starkhaven?” Leto asked them.

“The Wilds,” Lucen answered. “It’s where I spent some of my childhood. No one might know the wilds better than my mother, but she taught me to survive and hide there.” 

“What about us? Can all three of us make it in the wilds? Won’t your mom think of that as a place to go? And, how would we get there?” Leto asked as he sat up to face his friends.

“Do you think my mother would tell them where we are and how to find us?” Lucen asked. 

“She would hide that information?” Daer asked incredulously. 

“She didn’t want Lucen in that cell did she?” Leto replied.

“She was always afraid this would happen, and she prepared me for it.” Lucen rubbed at his eyes.

“Then why did you let them take you?” Daer asked. 

“Because everyone was willing to fight each other over it. I didn’t want that to happen,” he answered.  
“Well, we’re going to figure this out and get you back to your usual, annoying, handsome self.” Leto said with a small smile.

“Please.” Daer rolled her eyes. “Calling him that will just make it worse.”

“Well it is true.” Lucen grinned.

“Come on Daer, you know it’s true.” Leto said before he pitched a nut at her.

“I guess, objectively, if I could stop thinking of him as a brother and as someone who I could have any sexual interest in, that he is handsome in certain lights when he isn’t speaking,” she said reluctantly. 

“I feel so loved right now,” Lucen muttered with a laugh.

“It’s because you are loved.” Leto stood up so he could poke his head out and look for Keeper Merrill. 

“So are you,” Lucen said to Leto’s back.

The younger elf grinned as he stepped out when he saw Merrill heading for their aravel. “Andara ti’shan, Keeper.” 

“Andara ti’shan, Leto. Are you all rested and ready to speak?” Merrill stepped inside after the young light warrior stepped aside for her.

“Yes, madame Keeper, we were just wondering what our next move should be. But we wanted to know what your thoughts were on what is going on with Lucen.”

“No need to be so formal, Leto, being called Keeper by everyone is tiring. Besides, I know your parents, it’s more like you’re a member of the clan.” despite the fact that Leto had almost half a foot over in her in height, she ruffled his hair as she went past him..

“Very well, Merrill,” the younger elf smiled as he ran his fingers through his hair the moment the Keeper’s back was turned.

Daer sat up and straightened her robes when she saw Merrill. Lucen couldn’t help but notice that Daer seemed to be more into impressing Merrill and the Dalish than she had ever been with any of the Grey Wardens of Elvhen. 

“Relax Daer, all of you can just relax and start from the beginning of your story.” Merrill smiled at the girl in an attempt to put her at ease. 

“I think Lucen should start, since it began when he was little.” Leto replied.

If there was anything that Lucen didn’t like to talk about, it was anything that had to do with his connection with the Old God. His mother had instilled in him the need to keep secrets, especially one that outsiders wouldn’t understand. Outsiders to Morrigan had always meant anyone who hadn’t been her or Lucen. It wasn’t until he had been a little bit older that it had eventually widened to Leliana, and then others. 

It was hard, though, to tell Merrill about himself. Some of it she already knew, but much of it she hadn’t. By the time he was done, finishing with the three of them finding the Dalish, Lucen felt drained, purged and exposed in a way he didn’t like much.

“Hmm, and what do you think triggered the Old One to change you now?” Merrill asked him as she paced between them, brows furrowed in thought. 

Leto glanced at Lucen guiltily then back to the dirt under his boots.

“I don’t know,” Lucen lied.

“Leto,” Daer said dryly. “When he gets emotional over Leto, wanting to protect him or during sex, he changes.”

“Oh gods, Daer, could you not?” Leto mumbled.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. So you’re the catalyst for the change, because of how you feel about each other. Interesting.” Merrill said as she waved at them to continue.

“I think it’s a good sign.” Daer continued on as if Leto hadn’t spoken. “It’s not an urge for power or a drive to harm, but the other side of the coin when it comes to strong emotions. Love, lust, the urge to protect.” 

“Exactly so, Daer.” Merrill gave her a grateful look before she turned to make another circuit of the aravel. “So, your motivations are good and you have no desire to harm. At least that means the old one isn’t winning in its fight to take you over. What do you think needs to be done, Lucen? This is your life we’re discussing after all.”

“I turned those bandits into ash,” Lucen said, his eyebrows drawing down sharply. “Haven’t either one of you been listening? That’s not a good motivation.” 

“It meant you wanted him to be safe, and you didn’t want to harm them until they threatened Leto. It is a good motivation.” Merrill replied.

“Luce, please we just want to help you.” Leto pleaded as he glanced at the others in the aravel with him. “We need to figure out how to get this thing out of you.”

“That’s where everyone has gone wrong,” Daer said. “Why should you try and get it out? Lucen was born with this power, it’s as much him as it is the Old God. He just needs to learn to control it, to master his ability and become one with it instead of trying to separate from it. That’s like cutting off a limb instead of trying to learn how to use it. “

“But the Old God,” Lucen started.

“The Old God was banished, killed, whatever happened, but it’s not a part of you.” Daer smiled. “What’s happening to you is something new.”

“Why the Void didn’t you just say this at Arelathan?” Lucen cried.

Daer shrugged. “No one would have listened to me. Everyone was too absorbed in yelling at each other and crying about it.”

“Thanks,” Lucen said dryly.

“Well she’s right, now that we have that delayed gem of wisdom from Daer, what’s our new plan?” Leto asked.

“Control, learn to use it like she said. You should have asked Morrigan for more information before you broke him out.” Merrill said before she grabbed a parchment and quill from the small table nearest to Lucen.

“Do you know what she did when she enacted the Dark Ritual?” Daer asked. “What kind of magic was it and what exactly she was hoping for it to do?” 

Lucen blinked. “I don’t know. I’ve never thought of it before.” 

“Well we can’t go back and ask now, can we?” Leto muttered.

“You said that Fenris and you have a way to communicate,” Daer said. “We could have him ask her.” 

“That’s assuming she’s not furious with him for helping us out. If she knows he helped, even it was by omission.” Leto glanced at Merrill then the others. “If I can get a letter to ser Tethras, hopefully he can get it to uncle Fenris. I just hope he hasn’t taken too much heat for our escape.” 

“I still can’t believe he helped you all get out. Even if it was keeping quiet about your little escape.” Merrill replied.  
“Write your letter,” Lucen said. “Daer’s right, we need to know what exactly she did.” 

“Of course I’m right,” Daer said with a smile.

“Merrill, uncle Fenris is on our side believe that. l’ll write to him, then go into town once it’s dark. Hopefully they won’t be there looking for us.” Leto said as he got up to look for parchment and a quill.

“While he does that, why don’t we go to my aravel and write up ideas on how Lucen can control his powers?” Merrill offered.

“Besides not screwing Leto?” Daer asked with a laugh. 

The younger elf’s markings blazed as he glared at her. “Over the line, Daer, way over the line. You take the aravel, I’ll find somewhere else to write.” .

“You’re not our leader, Leto.” Daer glowered at him. “We’re all in this together so you need to calm down.” 

“I never said I was a leader, but I won’t be mocked, Daer.” Leto snapped.

She straightened up and snapped to attention. “Yes, ser, Commander Fenris, ser!” Her lips curled in an angry line. “That was mocking you. In case you didn’t know the difference.” 

“Enough!” Lucen shouted. “Just stop it right now, both of you!” 

“I’m not my uncle, don’t start that with me, Daer.” Leto hissed at her despite Lucen’s warning.

“All of you stop. Leto, go find somewhere to calm down, Daer don’t make it worse, Lucen stop shouting, it’s a small tent no need to be so loud.” Merrill said as she rubbed at her ear. 

“Don’t start with you? As if I should be afraid of you or you’re in some position of authority?” Daer got to her feet. “We’re all in this together, Leto. You’re not the only one who has left everything behind for Lucen. You’re also not the only one worried about him. If you can’t see that I’m here to help you and not attack you, then we have nothing more to say to each other.”

“No one said all that Daer, but you don’t have to be so harsh. This is hard ok, just… stop teasing me about Luce, it’s not funny.” Leto replied before he snatched up his pack.

“Children, let it go...now.” Merrill warned

“Fine, I’m sorry, Leto,” Daer mumbled. 

“Yeah, me too. See you all later.” Leto left, and headed for the grove he’d seen during their walk back from lunch. He hoped it would be quiet.

Merrill watched him flee, her gaze troubled by his flare of anger. “So much like his uncle it hurts.” she murmured before she turned back to Daer and Lucen. “Well, let’s get started.”

**  
They spent several hours going over ideas and options, but they kept coming up against the same block over and over, they didn’t know what exactly Morrigan had done. Without that information, they couldn’t say exactly what was happening to Lucen, only make guesses and form theories. By the time Merrill had left, Lucen had his head in his hands and Daer sat next to him, rubbing his back in slow circles. 

“Well find the answer,” she assured him.

“Will we?” Lucen asked. “Because all we have is nothing solid.” 

Leto entered the aravel with a sealed letter in hand and his pack. “I’m off to Kirkwall, if I’m not back by nightfall, assume I’ve been caught.” 

“I’m coming with you.” Lucen got to his feet. “I can’t let you go alone.” 

“No, I’d rather take the chance on my own. I can teleport away if need be. We didn’t do all this to have you locked up again on the off chance they go to town to look for us.” Leto said quietly.

“If you don’t come back in twenty-four hours we’ll come and look for you,” Daer said. 

“Don’t...just take Luce and run. Please, Daer.” Leto asked before he leaned up to kiss Lucen. “For luck.”

Lucen pulled him in closer and deepened the kiss.

Leto pulled back with a shy grin for his lover. “I’ll be sure to return for a welcome back kiss. I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“Sorry, I’m going to worry anyway,” Lucen told him.

“Twenty-four hours, Leto,” Daer repeated. 

“I got it.” Leto headed off towards the city, eager to drop his letter and return, just in case.

**  
Fenris had settled in at Varric’s table with wine, a plate of roast boar and vegetables. He was feeling low and didn’t want to take it out on anyone, so he’d decided that food and drink was in order before he went back to Arlathan.

Varric had learned long ago it was better to watch Fenris, than to ask him about things. Most of the time the elf revealed more in his actions than in his words. He settled back against his chair, folding his hands across his stomach and waited. 

Fenris sipped at his wine carefully, sure he was starting to get drunk. “You want kids, Varric?” he asked suddenly.

“Nope,” Varric said immediately. “Children was always something Bartrand was supposed to do. Every now and then I think about it, but then I realize that I would have to give all this up, because this is no life for a child. I’m too selfish for that, Broody.” 

“You’d be a good dad...you keep things running around here. Babysit drunk elves.” Fenris slurred.

“That is true,” Varric mused. “What’s brought this up?” 

“I’d be a bad father...I’m a bad son, husband...just no good.” Fenris said before he knocked back his wine.

“We’re all assholes,” Varric said. “Everyone single person is one. And we keep being assholes until we find people who we just don’t want to be an asshole to. The sooner you realize there is no such thing as a perfect father, son, or husband, the better off you’ll be, elf. There’s just varying degrees of being an asshole, and the people who put up with you, love you despite it, just like you love them despite their asshole behavior. And in between those times, you find that little bit of perfection where it doesn’t matter.

“There are bad fathers, and then there are _bad_ fathers, Fenris”

“Yeah… but I’ll never get the chance to know.” Fenris muttered sadly.

“It all depends on what you consider a father to be,” Varric shrugged. “Is it a man who has a woman that he got pregnant? Is it a man who takes in a baby, a child, a teenager, a grown man? Is it a commander who has acted as a father figure to countless Grey Wardens? Who can say except you what it means to you. You just said that me running this tavern and baby sitting drunk elves counts as acting like a father, so what does that make you to your wardens? Sometimes we don’t get to pick our family, but sometimes we do.”

He picked up a tankard of ale and took a deep sip. “Dispensing advice always makes me thirsty.”

Fenris shrugged, his expression dour as he tried to refill his glass but missed. “No one thinks of me that way. I can barely take care of myself, let alone anyone else. I’ll just shut up...you make me think too hard about these things, just want to ...want to not face the truth for a while longer.” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be the one to shut up. You’ve come here to brood and I’m interrupting that.” Varric gently took the wine bottle away from Fenris.

“Smart alec dwarf.” Fenris muttered.

“Why don’t you stay here for the night,” Varric offered. “I’m not sure what drunken teleporting looks like, but I’m assuming it’s messy and doesn’t end well.” 

“Anders’ will worry, I said I’d be back later. Not like anyone but him wants me around right now anyway.” Fenris tried to reach for the bottle and missed. “Give me that back.” he whined.

“Ugh… You are one sorry elf when you’re drunk. At first it’s funny, but then you become maudlin, and if I can put up with you when you’re like this, then there’s at least one other person that wants you around.” 

“No one wants me around, figures.” Fenris grumbled.

“Hey now, I didn’t say that.” Varric slid Fenris’ cup away as well. 

“It’s true, I’m pathetic Varric…I fool myself into thinking I’m doin’ good, then I fuck up. Be that way till I die.” Fenris let his head hit the table with a groan. 

“Now you’re just vocalizing the plight of every living creature--you pretend you know what you’re doing until you either start to really know, or you get caught out.” Varric clapped Fenris on the back. 

“Not so hard, might throw up.” Fenris muttered. 

“What did you do uncle?” Leto asked as he came in to find the older elf laid across the table, drunk and miserable.

“Ah! Mini-Broody, what brings you here?” Varric exclaimed. 

“I was hoping to give you a letter to pass to him, but he’s here. I don’t think he’ll remember what I need if I just tell him though.” Leto let the nickname pass, he wasn’t in the mood for another argument.

“Uncle...what happened to you?” he said quietly as he sat next to Fenris.

“Too much of the finest wine that the Hanged Man has to offer, which is to say he had too much cheap wine,” Varric offered. 

“Shut it both of you...so drunk I’m hallucinating.” Fenris said as he swatted at Leto.

“Now you’re just being silly. Come on, Tiny-Broody, let’s get him moved over to the bed. I’ll take his legs.” Varric grabbed Fenris by the ankles.

“Don’t touch me...and I’m not that short, stop calling me tiny.” Fenris said as he tried to get up and fell right back into his seat.

“Uncle, Mythal what happened since we left for you to be like this?” Leto tried to get his arm around Fenris’ waist and get him to his feet. “What do they feed you, you’re damned heavy.”

“It’s the lyrium...always been heavier than people expect.” Fenris said before he started giggling.

“Now he’s giggling and I’m officially disturbed,” Varric mumbled as they half hauled Fenris over to the large bed.

“Yeah, I’ve never heard him make that kind of noise before. It’s a little creepy.” Leto gently tugged Fenris’ vambraces off while Varric took his boots. “Here’s the letter I wanted him to get, can you make sure he takes it once he’s sober?”

“I am sober… give me the damned letter.” Fenris muttered as he tried to sit up. “See...sober as rain.”

“And I’m as tall as blue!” Varric took the letter and stuffed it in his tunic. “I’ll make sure he gets this,” he told Leto.

“Good, I wish he wasn’t so out of it, I don’t think he’s going to remember that I was here.” Leto said softly as he looked at his uncle. “Take care of him, he’s put himself in a bad position for us.”

Varric gave him a two finger salute. “Will do. Now go so that I can forget you were ever here.” 

“Yes, ser.” Leto leaned down, kissed Fenris on the temple, whispered an apology then slipped out the door.

**

Lucen paced back in front of Daer and she rolled her eyes. “Seriously, you need to stop pacing in here, the aravel can’t take much more of it.” 

“He should’ve been back by now,” Lucen muttered. 

“No, he shouldn't have been. Now please sit down and eat something.” 

Leto hurried back to the clan, his mind heavy with the state his uncle was in and worry about what they were going to do. If staying so close to the city was going to make them easier to find. He entered the aravel to find Luce pacing like a restless mabari.

“Finally…” Lucen breathed. He strode over to Leto and swept him up, bringing his lips down for a fierce kiss.

The elven boy gave him a tired smile once he was let go. “I told you I’d be back. How did it go here?” Leto tugged his cloak off as he made his way to a pile of bedding. 

“I’m supposed to learn how to meditate tomorrow,” Lucen said wryly. 

“To help keep him calm and gain some control over what’s happening to him,” Daer supplied.

“Good, while you do that I’m going to work on my abilities since I didn’t get much training in before we left.” Leto replied as he let his markings light up across his body slowly, to see how much he could control them.

“Or the two of you could do both of those things together,” Daer ventured. “I mean, they are the same thing--learning how to control yourself.” 

“Perhaps, for now, I just want dinner and a nap. Running halfway back wore me out.” Leto sighed as he reluctantly got back up.

“I’ll come with you and you can tell me how it went.’ Lucen caught up to Leto in a few, long strides.

“Ok, Daer will you be here when we get back?” Leto asked.

“No where else to go.” She laid back down on the narrow bed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris comes home, Lucen learns patience and while Anders is relieved to have his husband back; he enjoys their playful interlude...to a point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nsfw for slight bondage

“How the fuck am I supposed to clear my mind,” Lucen grumbled. He’d sat across from Leto on the forest floor, just outside of camp. A slight, morning breeze rustled through the trees, and he shivered against the sudden chill. 

“By not swearing at me for trying to show you how to do this for a start.” Leto reminded him. He was cross legged, his body loose and relaxed as he faced Lucen. “Close your eyes, think of things that keep you calm, things that make you feel safe, and comfortable. Let those thoughts ease you down to a place of nothingness.”

“My parents,” Lucen said after some thought. “Uncle Fenris. You.” He pulled in a slow breath through his nose and breathed out through his lips.

“Good, just keep up that train of thought. Close your eyes and concentrate on those thoughts until you find yourself thinking of a quiet space, one that is peaceful and quiet.” Leto said softly as he watched Lucen for signs he was succeeding.

Lucen’s brow furrowed. “How can I tell if it’s working?” 

“You’ll ...you’ll feel peaceful. It’s the best way I can describe it. Now relax and stop asking questions, just concentrate.” Leto replied as he watched Luce struggle against the urge to move, to pace as he usually did.

“My mom tried to teach me how to do this once,” Lucen mumbled. “She eventually snapped and burned down a small field.” He settled deeper into where he sat, concentrating on his breathing and letting each and every individual muscle go lax. 

“Well the Dalish won’t appreciate me doing that, no matter how much you frustrate me Luce. Now stop talking, it makes it harder to find your center.” Leto said as he finally let his eyes close and his breathing slow.

By the time he began to relax the muscles in his shoulders and neck, Lucen felt as if he was dozing, hovering in that space between wakefulness and sleep. The sounds of the forest seemed to go silent, and for a moment, he could have sworn he was dreaming. But like any time one becomes aware they are dreaming, Lucen’s eyes snapped open and sound and sensation came rushing back. 

“Damn it!” he swore under his breath. “I was so close.” 

“What made you lose your peace?” Leto asked as he unfolded himself to stand. 

“It’s stupid.” Lucen rubbed at his eyes. “I realized that I was doing it and it just stopped. I…” He blinked as realization settled over him. “It’s because I was thinking too much about it.”

“Probably, let’s get breakfast and then we start over. We need to get you centered before you can try to manifest your powers and control them rather than letting them control you.” Leto leaned down and kissed the older boy, his expression sad, yet hopeful.

“When I was trying to protect you, when I was… when we were together, I wasn’t thinking about trying to control it, I just… let go.” He took Leto’s hands in his own. “All my life, I was told to watch myself, to never give into my impulses. The Old God and inheriting my father’s rage… Maybe that’s the problem, maybe I was trying to control myself too much.” 

“Hmm, let’s ponder that while we eat. Maybe Daer can take a turn with you, see if my presence is a hinderance or not.” Leto offered his hand, hopeful Lucen wouldn’t be discouraged by the bad start to their training.

“Now I think you want Daer to be the one to burn the forest down.” Lucen laughed and took Leto’s hand.

“You shouldn’t joke about it, she’s powerful Luce. Don’t hope for that. We ran away so we could help you, and that’s what we’re going to do.” Leto kissed the back of Lucen’s hand before he led them back to the open eating area of the clan.

**  
Anders’ nose wrinkled when Fenris approached him in the great hall of Arlathan. His husband had been gone for two days, and that hadn’t worried Anders. But now that he had reappeared in a flash of lyrium light and reeked of cheap wine, Anders was beginning to think he hadn’t been with Velanna and Lethander all this time. 

“Why do you smell like you died and someone dug you up a month later?” he asked.

“Good morning to you too love.” Fenris replied as he came to a stop in front of his husband.

“I would kiss you, but I don’t know where you’ve been…” Anders took a delicate step back.

“Thanks for the welcome back, since I offend your senses so much I’ll just go take a bath.” Fenris hissed. He was hung-over and in no mood for anyone’s humor. 

“And hungover,” Anders said dryly. “I’ll go with you, love and take away some of the physical symptoms while you take your bath. Then you can tell me where you’ve been.” 

“Very well, but one more smart remark and I’m going back where I was.” Fenris skirted around Anders to head to their rooms so, eager to be clean and hopefully in a better mood by the time he was done.

 

Anders pressed his lips tightly together, and stuck his tongue between his teeth to prevent the words that wanted to burst out from tripping over his lips. He nodded, his eyes widening while he fought against himself.

Fenris was quiet until he’d filled the tub with hot water, and rinsed off before slipping into the steaming water with a groan. “I feel like a bronto kicked me in the head.” he moaned.

Anders snorted and his face turned red, forcing the words back. His eyes began to water when he touched Fenris’ temples and began to get rid of the worse of the hangover.

“Just fucking laugh and get it out of your system, I can feel you holding back through the bond.” Fenris muttered before he slipped under the water to wash his hair.

The laughter that burst out of Anders was long and loud. He doubled over, tears running from his eyes. “You threatened to go back where you were and I almost said ‘Where’s that? A stable?’ Then you mentioned brontos and I… I…”

“You what?” Fenris asked, his voice low as he pondered how fast he’d have to strike to pull Anders into the tub with him.

“I wanted to say ‘Oh? So that explains the smell!’” 

Fenris lunged at Anders and pulled him into the hot, soapy water with a maniacal little giggle. “So glad you find my distress amusing, my heart.”

Anders came up sputtering, flinging water and soap out of his eyes. “You!” 

“Me, what?” Fenris asked as he leaned back in the tub, took up a flannel to scrub with as if he hadn’t dunked his husband for teasing him. 

Anders slid up Fenris and slapped both his palms onto the marble edge of the large tub on either side of him, trapping Fenris. “You are a very naughty elf,” he whispered. 

“So you say, what do you plan to do about it?” Fenris taunted.

Anders placed a hand against the side of Fenris’ neck. He could feel the elf’s heartbeat in his pulse-point. “That depends on what you’re prepared for,” he answered. 

The elf glanced down at where Anders hand rested then back to his husband. “Is that what you wish of me, husband?” Fenris asked quietly.

“The question should be more, what do you need, love? You were gone for two days and you come back to me smelling like you’ve been drinking at the Hanged Man.” Anders’ eyes widened. “That’s where you were, wasn’t it? Did you see Velanna and Leth in Minrathous first?”

“Yes...it was not pleasant.” Fenris replied softly before he turned to kiss Anders palm. “Not sure what I need, but I am yours.” 

“Then let’s find out together,” Anders whispered back. He leaned down and crushed his lips to Fenris’, kissing him deeply, his tongue slipping in between parted lips.  
The elven warden gave in to his need for affection, to know he hadn’t lost Anders to his idiocy. He pulled back so they wouldn’t slide under the water or worse injure themselves. “Let’s get out of the tub, I don’t want to add a head injury to my spectacular day.” Fenris said.

“Or maybe if you turned around and rose up on your knees, bending over the edge…” Anders purred.

“Very well, but if I crack my head open I’m telling everyone it was your fault,” Fenris groused as he did as he was asked.

Anders stood in the tub and stripped off his heavy, wet clothes, wringing them out before tossing them to the floor with loud smacks. He tripped his fingers up Fenris’ backside. “Wet cloth can sting if used right.”

“I recall the last time we went to the Navarran hot springs, we almost got banned because of that.” Fenris gasped as he felt Anders magic trickle over his markings.

“Worth it.” Anders’ chuckle was full of remembered wickedness. He slipped his hand around to Fenris’ front, gently tweaking his nipples until they hardened against his fingers. 

“I could barely sit for a couple of days, but it was fun.” Fenris moaned as he felt Anders hands on him, eager for whatever his husband wanted of him. “I ...I need to give up control, love.” he admitted.

“How much control?” Anders asked gently. He bent down and pressed a kiss between Fenris’ shoulderblades. 

“All of it, need to be broken tonight.” Fenris replied. “Or as close as you can take me, I know you’re not ...that into it.” he amended

“Never broken.” Anders slid his hands over Fenris’ shoulders and down his arms. “But close I can promise.” Magic surged in the room, wrapping invisible bonds around Fenris, holding his arms and legs fast.

“Fuck…” Fenris moaned as he struggled out of instinct, the urge to break free almost overpowering the desire to give in.

Anders massaged the muscled globes of Fenris’ ass in a bid for the elf to relax.

“Sorry, just instinctive reaction. I’ll be ok in a moment.” Fenris took a few breaths to calm down and finally relaxed so that he wouldn’t hurt himself. “I’m ready, I submit to you, Anders.”

“At one point that would have bothered me, but now… now I love to hear you say that.” Anders’ nails scratched lightly over Fenris’ ass, getting the elf used to the slight sting.

“I have come to enjoy giving myself to you with no reservations, my heart. Please...I need you,” Fenris gasped as he tried to raise up but found he was held still by Anders’ power.

“And you’ll have me,” Anders assured him. “When I think you’re ready…” His hand came down with a loud crack on wet skin,

Fenris yelped in surprise but held back the swears he had at the ready. “As ser wishes.” he hissed.

“I want to hear you,” Anders said with another slap to Fenris’ ass. “Every curse, every moan, every cry. I want to hear it all.” 

That made Fenris call out, his voice raised a little higher than usual as he felt his ass sting. “Yes...ser.” he moaned.

Anders rewarded him by letting loose with a series of slaps. Each one didn’t strike the same place twice, a barrage that left Fenris’ ass warm and sensitive. When Anders ran his nails over his skin, it was on nerves that were raw. 

“Maker… Maker… fuck…” Fenris babbled as he twisted around futilely. “Andersssss,” he hissed as he felt his husband continue to drag his nails over his ass.

“Don’t come until I tell you to,” Anders growled. With a whispered word of magic, Anders filled Fenris’ ass, giving him the sensation of being stuffed.

Fenris groaned as he tried to do as he was told, his eyes closed and he growled in frustration as he tried to move against his bonds. “Fuck...Anders...ser….please,” he begged.

“Begging so soon?” Anders asked. He resumed his strikes, causing Fenris to clench over and over around the stiffness in his ass, squeezing it tightly and pushing it against himself.

“Yes, ser, yes… please...I’ll do anything, Anders, anything, please. It’s… oh Maker, please.” Fenris huffed as he tried to keep from coming without his husband’s order.

‘Do you feel it, Fenris?” Anders asked. “That need inside you, clawing at you to get free.” 

The elf nodded, his hands clenched and opened as he tried to obey. “Yes..domne, yes.” he moaned.

Anders froze his hands beginning to tremble slightly at the name that Fenris had given him. “Let go,” he commanded.

“Thank you...ser.” Fenris trembled under Anders touch, his orgasm hit hard as he sagged as much as he could in his bonds. 

Anders released Fenris and caught him before he slipped into the water, hauling him back. He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead in between the elf’s shoulder blades.

“Thank you, love, that helped.” Fenris said as he turned awkwardly to face his husband, but his good cheer slipped away when he saw the look on Anders face. “What’s wrong?”

“You know that I’ll gladly give you what you need, love, but there are some things I won’t ever do. One of them is bring you so far into yourself that you forget who I am… or maybe you know all too well.” He cupped Fenris’ face in his hands. “I will never break you, and I will never ask you to call me by any name you once called your masters. I won’t play those games.” 

“I don’t understand, what are you talking about?” Fenris asked as he leaned back to stare at his husband.

So Anders told him as he avoided Fenris’ eyes. “When you do that, I have to wonder if you are with me for me, or for what I remind you of…” 

“I didn’t do that… I wouldn’t call you that. I know you’re not one of them.” he spat. “Love, come on, this isn’t funny.”

“I’m not laughing,” Anders said. 

Fenris’ eyes widened as he tried to recall using that word with Anders. “Love...I...I don’t, I didn’t even hear it when I said it. I am so sorry, I’m sorry, please forgive me.” 

‘Even now you still disappear in yourself. Even after all this time. Nothing I have done has helped you.” Anders buried his face in his hands. “Sometimes I think I make it worse for you. Has nothing I have done helped at all? Has anything that I have said, or the things i have stayed silent on not done anything?”

“No, don’t blame yourself . I didn’t even realize I’d gone that far. It’s not you Anders, please look at me.” Fenris tilted Anders head up so he had to look him in the eye. “You do not make things worse, you make my life a joy, even in dark moments knowing you are there makes it possible for me to carry on my heart.” 

Anders pressed his cheek in the palm of Fenris’ hand. “I’m sorry… with everything that’s been happening, my nerves are frayed. I feel like I’m the only one here who isn’t ready to kill or blame someone else for what’s happening with the kids.” He sighed. “No, that’s not true, I blamed you for a while. This is tearing us apart and we all have to work together if we want to help Lucen. Instead we’re sniping at each other and keeping secrets. I’m sorry I overreacted to what you said.” 

“It’s ok, I’d probably do the same if our roles were reversed.” Fenris kissed him lightly before he started to stand up. “Come on, let’s get dried off and we can pick up where we left off.”

Anders flicked water into Fenris’ face. “That’s for pulling me into the tub with my clothes on.”

“I thought the spanking was payback for doing that.” Fenris muttered as he swiped at his face. “We’re adults, very good at this maturity thing.”

“This is what happens when people expect me to be mature for an extended period of time: I have to have an equal amount of time being immature. It’s a law of nature,” Anders said solemnly. 

“Tis a shame really they don’t get to see this rare moment of maturity from their former commander.” Fenris said as he got out, snagged drying cloths for them.

Anders snorted. “I have always thought they suspected something was up.” He got out and snagged one of the drying cloths. 

“You’re impossible. Now, let’s get to bed so I can repay the favor to my husband.” Fenris sauntered into their bedroom and waited for Anders to follow.

Anders eyed Fenris’ reddened ass as he sauntered behind him into the room. “Are you too sore, love?” 

“Nope, not by a long shot. I’m willing to keep playing, especially since the bed is more comfortable for our games.”

“And I do love most of our games,” Anders said with a leer. He reached Fenris and hauled the elf against him, bending down to mouth over his throat.

“Harder, bite me harder, fuck me.” Fenris growled. “Love… it… when you’re aggressive.” the elven fighter moaned when he felt Anders teeth sink a little deeper into his skin.

Anders laved at the bite with his tongue, whispering in Fenris’ ear. “Anything for you, love.” 

**  
It was Morrigan of all people who tried to convince Fenris to tell Aedan how he was communicating with Leto. she held out the letter she had been given in one hand, her other hand on her hip. “He was a part of the ritual, Fenris. Zev was too. If they wish to know this information, then we need to ask Aedan and Zevran as well.” 

Fenris glared at her as she waved the letter around. “Tell him so he can finish wringing my neck? How about you tell him and I’ll stay in my room.” 

“Then I will.” She carefully refolded the letter. “I think I know where they are… But I won’t tell him that much.”

The elven warrior sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, if he does not explode in anger at the news, I will come to see him later. I want them to be safe, Morrigan, despite my foolish choice before.”

“At least they haven’t run off to the Wilds. There was a good chance that was where Lucen would have headed. I don’t think I could have even found them if they had done that.” Morrigan wasn’t the type of person to touch another, so when she placed a hand on Fenris’ chest, right over his heart, it was almost startling. 

“Thank you. Thank you for keeping an eye out for them, for trying to help them. You, Zevran, and I, we know what it’s like to have burdens thrust on us too young, and what it is to have a hard time asking for help from another. We three have had to rely on ourselves in the past, with no one else looking out for us. I think Anders has forgotten how that can be. Lucen has friends in Leto and Daer. They are smart and they are resourceful. I’ll make sure that Aedan remembers that when I talk to him.” 

Fenris looked at her in surprise, caught off guard by her touch. He raised his own hand to cover hers and gave her a smile. “I love Leto as if he were my own, as well as Lucen and Daer. I will do all I can to protect them Morrigan, you’ve my word on that,” he swore to her, his gaze riveted to hers. 

“Thank you. You didn’t know me before I had Lucen. I was a hard woman, one who didn’t suffer anyone who I thought was a fool lightly, and anyone who wasn’t me was a fool. Lucen taught me what it really meant to love someone without reservation. Just like Anders and Leto have taught you.” She pulled back.

“Now, if this sentimentality is over with, I’ll go and find Aedan.”

“Good luck, I’ll be in my room if you or Aedan wishes to speak. Or if he’s had enough of me and decides to have a word.” Fenris left before he showed how her trust had affected him, or his worry over how Aedan would take the news of his continued helping of the teens.

**

It was a scant two hours later when a loud knock sounded on Fenris’ door. Aedan scrubbed at his face and then lifted his fist to knock again.

The elven fighter opened the door in the middle of Aedan’s knocking. “Can I help you First Warden, ser?” Fenris asked politely.

“I’d rather not be formal for this,” Aedan said wearily. “But if it makes you more comfortable I won’t ask you to change.” 

“What is you need of me, First Warden?” Fenris asked as he watched his commander enter the room and pace rather than take a seat.

“I’m not the easiest person to get along with,” Aedan said quietly. “I know that. I know I can be harsh and unthinking, a product of never having to think of anyone other than myself and my own selfish needs. Old habits die hard, you know that as well as I do. I tell someone to do something, and I expect it to happen. If it doesn’t then I force it to work, hammering in a square peg into a round hole.” 

He stopped and gestured to himself. “I freely admit I use my size to intimidate people, and it usually works. But when it comes to my friends, to people I love and care about, I hate it when I frighten them. I hate that aspect of myself. I’m scared, Fenris. I’m scared for Lucen, and I’m helpless to do anything about it. I’m not a mage. what I know about magic is that sometimes I can swing a sword at it, and sometimes not.”

“I’m sure you can find a way to help him once he’s found, First Warden. He’s a smart young man, and he’s got his friends with him to assist him. I am no mage either, but I will not allow that fact to stop me from assisting, if I am allowed to do so, ser.” Fenris watched Aedan carefully, his gaze lingered briefly on Aedan’s face then drifted back to a point past the mantle.

“Morrigan reminded me of a few things today. She reminded me how I used to be, and although I may think I have come far, I haven’t come far enough. I know she’s right. I still take my pleasures when I want. I still let my anger rule me, and use it as an excuse to force people to do what I want them to do. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. I’m sorry, Fenris. I’m the last person that should be throwing stones about protocol. Maker, knows I never gave a fuck about it until I become First Warden. Why should I expect you to be any different? You’re one of the best Grey Wardens I know, and that’s because you do what needs to be done, regardless of what people might think.”

Fenris arched an eyebrow in surprise but remained cautiously optimistic. “I did something foolish First Warden, and it is your right to discipline me according to Warden regulations. You were correct, in that I let a danger out into the world, as such I lost command. I am sure Lucen will be found, or perhaps they will return. If my assistance is allowed to continue, I will do so.” 

“And I let the Architect not only live, but have gone to him for information. If I had done what I should have, I wouldn’t even be here, and Lucen would not exist. No, I’m a fucking hypocrite, Fenris. I realize that now.” 

“What’s done is done, and if you had not let the Architect live, Rhys would not have have his brother restored to him.” Fenris stretched slightly as he watched Aedan move around the sitting room. “Do you have a plan to seek out Lucen? Is there something you wanted from me, Aedan?”

“Lucen is the same age I was when I lost my family and had to flee to the Grey Wardens. He’s the same age I was when I gathered everyone in Ferelden together to combat the Blight. I have to have faith that the better parts of me are in him, and that he is doing what he thinks is right.” He stopped his pacing again.

“Just watch out for my son, Fenris. That’s all I ask. If for any reason you think that he needs me, I will be there. But until then, please keep him safe.” 

“I will always look out for him, Aedan, I care for him, for all that he is not my son.” Fenris replied with a slight edge to his voice.

“Then that’s all I ask.” Aedan paused. “That and one day that you can forgive me. I miss you, Fenris.”

“There is nothing to forgive, Aedan.” Fenris replied softly.

“We both know that’s bullshit, Fenris.” It didn’t escape Aedan that Fenris was using his name instead of his rank.

The elf tilted his head to the side as he finally looked at Aedan. “Care to elaborate on that, ser?” Fenris asked.

“That there is something to forgive. I needed to forgive and understand why you did what you did. And I do.” 

“I said there’s nothing to forgive on my end First Warden, pardon I mean Aedan. I gave you my word that I will protect them. What else do you need of me?” Fenris asked.

“Nothing that you aren’t willing to give. But for now, it’s enough.” 

“I would give my life if need be Aedan, thought I am only his uncle, I would not let harm come to Leto. I will do my damndest to keep Lucen safe, though I am not his blood kin.” Fenris said with a hitch to his voice.

“Thank you,” Aedan said. “And if they need me, I’ll be there for them, and for you too. I just… It’s hard to step back.”

“I can take care of myself Aedan, I will not take up time and space you need for your family.” Fenris remarked.

“And you’re Lucen’s uncle. That’s blood kin enough for him and me,” Aedan said firmly. 

“I’m not sure I believe that, but I will accept your word for now.” Fenris looked up at him, his gaze a bit softer than when he’d let Aedan in. “You...hurt me Aedan, but what’s done is done. I have accepted it and moved on from it. We can go forward or not.”

“You have your command back,” Aedan told him. “I shouldn’t have taken it from you. it was petty of me.” 

“I will consider whether to accept it or not, I made a mistake and that cannot be overlooked Aedan.” Fenris finally relaxed his stance to not seem as if he was going to stalk off or argue further. “Velanna will be a capable Commander.”

“She would be. But I don’t want you to give it to her because I took it from you in the first place. I shouldn’t have done that. give it to her because you want to.” Aedan scrubbed at his face, suddenly tired. “Maker, I keep fucking everything up.” 

“You are worried for your child, it is only expected that will affect you, Aedan.” Fenris said as he observed how tired the other man suddenly looked.

“Yeah, but he’s not a child anymore, is he?” Aedan lowered his hands. “Sorry about everything.” 

Fenris folded his arms over his chest and leaned against his desk. “What will we do Aedan? You want Lucen safe, as do we all. The children are off trying to help him. I hope you had a good talk with Morrigan and that I can find my way back to your good graces, eventually.” 

“You’re already there,” Aedan assured him. “I was an asshole.” 

“Very well, anything else you wish to say since you have me here to yourself?” Fenris asked quietly.

“I miss you,” Aedan said again. 

“I miss you as well, but your duties keep you in Weisshaupt, and mine keep me in Minrathous most of the year. I thought perhaps I no longer had a place in your life other than as a warden.” Fenris admitted.

“Neither one of us talk about our feelings very well, do we?” Aedan said with a short laugh. 

“No, not really.” the elf said with no humor. “Even after all this time, we sometimes fail to speak plainly with each other.” 

“Are we in a place where we can speak plainly now?” Aedan asked. 

“I would hope so, but I am unsure Aedan. Is there anything you need to speak to me about, plainly, with nothing held back from me?” Fenris shifted slightly, out of habit more than any lingering fear.

Aedan had always found it easier to speak about things when his emotions weren’t involved, at least the emotions that didn’t have to do with anger. Still, he knew he had to say something, because this might be his last chance to repair the damage he had done. 

“I miss you. I miss your touch. I miss your smiles that you rarely give out. I miss, well everything about you.” 

“I miss you as well, Aedan. While I have fun with the others, there has always been something different between us that I don’t have with them. I miss that connection with you. I...am sorry I hurt you as well, by my failure to act. But what to do about that right now? What is it you wish of me in this moment?” Fenris asked as he crossed the room so he could be within reach, if Aedan wanted that of him.

Aedan reached out for Fenris. “Let me hold you?” he all but pleaded. 

The elven fighter let himself be pulled to Aedan, his relief tangible as he returned the other warden’s embrace. “Sorry…”

“We’re both idiots,” Aedan murmured into Fenris’ hair.

“Yeah, we are.” Fenris agreed. He squeezed Aedan around the middle as he held on for the sake of comfort.

The door opened and Aedan’s body jerked in startlement. Anders’ mouth opened a few times and he froze in mid step. “Uh…”

Fenris glanced at his husband then went back to cuddling Aedan. "Hi, love." He muttered from where he was pressed against the other mans chest.

“Hi,” Anders said awkwardly. “I just uh… came to talk with you. Is everything… Is everything alright?” 

"Everything is better now love. You don't have to go." Ferris said.

Anders’ lips spread into a large smile. “Well thank the Maker for that.” 

“I should head back to Morrigan anyway,” Aedan said reluctantly. 

"You're welcome to come back, unless you want to catch up later?" Ferris asked hopefully.

“Am I?” Aedan asked hopefully. 

“I think you are,” answered Anders.

"Yeah, you are. I'll bet Anders has missed you as well. Perhaps we can have dinner in here and...relearn each other tonight?" Ferris asked as he went to his husband.

“Then I’ll see you tonight.” some of the tension leached out of Aedan’s shoulders.

See you tonight." Fenris slipped his arm around Anders waist as he stood with him. 

"Is that alright love?" He asked

“I said that Aedan was welcome back,” Anders said with a laugh. 

Aedan gave them both a short salute and quietly left the room, a grin on his face. 

"Have any news?" Ferris asked as he headed to the sideboard for a drink.

The smile that had been on Anders’ face fell away. “Leto’s been taken by the templars. I didn’t want to… I didn’t want to be the one to tell Aedan. Morrigan will intercept him and do it.” 

"He's what?!" Fenris asked as he crowded his husband.

Anders’ held up his hands. “He was taken by the templars. I don’t know anything more than that right now. I uh… I still have contacts in Kirkwall that I use to keep an eye on the templars in the city. I still don’t trust them, no matter who is in charge now. I received a letter a little bit ago from one of those contacts. They didn’t say much more than Leto had been apprehended. I didn’t even know they were looking for him.” 

"Time to visit our friends in the city." Fenris turned to get his things and depart.

“Thought you might say that. But we might need to wait for Aedan. I’d be willing to bet that he’s going to be grabbing for his sword as we speak.” 

A loud bellow sounded from out in the hall and Anders winced. “Yep… I’ll get my staff.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leto gets caught, Lucen and Daer aren't amused and Fenris tags along.

Fenris didn’t break his stride as he grabbed his scabbard on his way out. “Fuck waiting for anyone, they will not harm my nephew.”

“Then let’s go.” Anders knew that telling Fenris to wait would be futile.

“We’re teleporting soon as we clear the gateway out of here.” Fenris snapped as he hurried down the hall.

Anders could feel something strange in the bond between them and he reached out to grasp Fenris by the upper arm, pulling him to a stop. “Wait.” 

The elf halted with a yelp. “What in the Void are you making us stop for?”

“I... “ Anders wasn’t sure how to put into words the things he was feeling from Fenris. He released his husband. “We can talk about it later. It’s not important right now. Let’s go.” 

“What are you doing? We need to get to Leto before they hurt him.” Fenris turned and headed towards the doors almost at a run.

Anders stared after Fenris for a heartbeat before he took off after him.

**  
Fenris had barely touched the ground before he let Aedan and Anders go so he could head straight towards the Viscount’s Keep. Cullen was still on the throne, while Hawke’s brother was Knight Commander. He didn’t wait for either man in his haste. He strode into the Keep and headed for Cullen’s private rooms, no care for who called out to him to stop.

Maker knew it wasn’t Aedan telling Fenris to stop. Anders sighed as the two men marched through the keep. He muttered apologies to servants that scampered to get out of the way.

Fenris halted when two guards refused to let him pass. “Out of my way, I need to see the Viscount on urgent business.”

“No one barges in to see Viscount Cullen as you do, serah, and is allowed in. State the nature of your business and I will see if he is available,” the brunet guard said as his fellow guardsman slipped his hand over the hilt of his sword, just in case.

“And this is where I step in,” Anders said as he inserted himself between the guards and the two angry wardens. 

“Hi, there.” He flashed a smile. “So I’m a Grey Warden, and so are my friends here. One of them is First Warden Aedan Cousland. The other is Warden-Commander Iefyr, also brother to the King of Arlathan. Now we really need to see the Viscount. Emergency and all. So why don’t we wait nice and calmly out here, and you go and tell him who we are and that we need to see him.”

The first Guard relaxed his stance but didn’t move to let them in. “And you would be?” he asked of the tall blond in front of him.

“He’s former Warden-Commander Iefyr.” Fenris snarled.

“Uh huh…” the other guard said slowly. “And we’re just supposed to leave our posts because you say so.” 

Fenris lit his brands as he crowded the dark haired guard against the door. “You have two options. Move out of our way, or get the Viscount, I’m done asking you nicely.”

Both of the guards placed their hands on the hilts of their swords. “And I am asking you to back away, serah. We were not told of any meeting today, and we don’t know you. Now either go out into the main hall and wait for the Seneschal to speak with you, or be forcibly removed.”

“Do it…” Aedan’s lips curled into a predator's grin. 

“Oh, hey!” Anders said a bit too brightly. “How about we don’t do this and speak calmly?” 

“No, I will not be calm while Leto is being held here. Now get out of our way.” Fenris snarled.

“Serah you leave me no choice but to remove you from the Viscount’s area of the Keep.” the blond guardsman replied as he drew his weapon.

“Now we’re talkin’,” Aedan growled. 

“Stop!” Anders shouted. “Don’t force me to stop all of you!” 

“Love, you need to get out of my way then.” Fenris hissed as he reached for his weapon.

“I suggest you hold yourself still ser elf, else we will have to strike you down.” Jensen called out to the glowing elf.

“Then I suggest you get out of our way, ser guardsman, else you will not live to see the morrow.” Fenris replied.

“You’re wasting time,” Aedan warned. “Once last chance for you to move.” 

“And one last chance for you guys to calm down!” Anders shouted. 

“Anders, I love you dearly but you need to shut the fuck up and move out of our way too.” Fenris gave himself just enough room to swing if need be.

“I fear no elf, especially one with a blade that’s too big for him,” Veieren replied as he pulled his sword free.

Before blood could be shed, the door opened to reveal a rather unhappy Viscount. “What in Andraste’s name is going on out here? Aedan, Fenris, Anders? What in the Void has you ready to fight my men?”

“They wouldn’t let us through.” Aedan very slowly sheathed his weapon.

“They were doing their job,” Anders said firmly. 

“Put your weapons away and come in before you make any more noise. I presume you are here because of young Mr. Arainai?” Cullen asked as he waited for them to file in so he could shut the door.

“So you do know about it.” Aedan pushed past the guards and followed Cullen into his study.

“Yes, you all have dined here with me, Aedan, it’s not as if you are strangers to the city. I hadn’t known there was an alert for him should he enter Kirkwall. That hadn’t crossed my desk yet, but I’m sure a missive would have made its way here soon enough.” Cullen poured himself a drink and nodded to the sideboard so they could help themselves.

“So, care to tell me why there was a notice to pick up your kin should he show his face in Kirkwall, eh Fenris?” Cullen sipped his wine as he watched the elven fighter pace.

“I didn’t know about this notice myself.” Fenris said as he glanced at Aedan. “We only heard about his capture by the templars a short while ago. He had, gone missing along with his friends a few days ago.” 

I may have asked Carver and Aveline to keep an eye out for Leto and the others,” Aedan said. “But I didn’t think they would try and apprehend them, not like this.”

“Templars don’t keep an eye out,” Anders said dryly. “They capture or kill.” 

“I want him released to us, or at the very least I wish to see that he has remained unharmed by your templars, Viscount.” Fenris said as he watched Cullen watch them. 

Anders held his breath, hoping that Cullen wouldn’t state the obvious--that this was overkill for three teenagers, and why did Aedan ask Carver and Aveline to have the city guards and the templars look for them.

“You may see him, I wanted to have the guards question him before we take further action. He also fought with the templars, which Anders knows can sometimes end badly for mages.” Cullen held his hand up to cut their protest short. “He’s unharmed, but we can’t let him just walk out after tangling with those that brought him in. Knight-Commander Amell can let you in to see him.” 

“Amell?” Fenris asked tightly.

“His choice, to make his own path. I suggest you don’t ask him about it Fenris, it’s a touchy subject. You’ll find him with Aveline in her office.” Cullen replied.

“Hey…” Anders drawled. “I knew an Amell once.”

“Yes, Solona Amell who is cousin to the Hawke’s. If you wish, I can escort you to his office so the guards will not have a reason to be further concerned by your presence.” Cullen led them out towards Carver’s office.

“Yes, the younger...one. I remember him now. I don’t care if he wants to be called the Queen of Antiva, I just want to see Leto.” Fenris muttered.

“Solona isn’t here, are they?” Anders asked, his tone deceptively casual.

“Actually she will be here for a few more days, she’d come to town to visit with Invictus and Carver.” Cullen said as he glanced at Anders, sure the mage was up to something. “Why do you ask?”

Anders’ answer came rapidfire. “Nothing. Just curious and all. I don’t think I will be able to see her, so you might as well not mention you even know me. I’ve got a lot of stuff to do. In fact, we weren’t that good of friends in the first place. So yes, don’t even mention you know me at all.”

Fenris sent a whisp of annoyance through their bond as he fell in besides Cullen. “You’re fooling no one, Anders, just admit you knew her, very well back in your Circle days. If you wish to visit while we talk to Leto, I won’t mind, not at all.” the elven fighter said.

“I’m sure she’d love to see you, after you’ve made sure your young relation is doing well in our care.” Cullen added.

“Nope! It would be better for all, but especially me if she didn’t know I was here. I wasn’t the nicest to her after... “ Anders snapped his mouth shut. “If you value my naughty bits at all, just please don’t say anything, love.” 

“I value them but this is too good to pass up, my love.” Fenris smiled as they headed down towards the lower parts of the Keep. 

“If we’re lucky she might be in Carver’s office.” Cullen snickered.

“This is going to be glorious,” Aedan added.

“Oh, hey!” Anders said brightly. “We’re here to get Leto! So let’s do that and leave without talking to anyone else, okay?” 

“We need to see Carver to get to Leto. What’s the matter, don’t want to see an old friend?” Fenris asked mischieviously.

“Oh I’m sure she will be thrilled to see you, Anders, I recall you had quite the reputation back then.” Cullen added helpfully as they rounded the last corner before Carver’s door.

“You said she might be here in a few days, maybe she isn’t even here and we can all pretend this conversation never happened. besides, my reputation is nothing but lies and exaggerations, mostly told by me.” Anders’ shoulders tensed as Cullen opened the door.

Cullen knocked briskly and was granted entry before he could knock again. “Greetings Knight-Commander Amell, we have a few people here about young Mr. Arainai.”

It was because Anders had hung back that he hadn’t been able to stop Aedan. The First Warden strode over to Carver’s desk and slapped his palms down on the wood. “Release him to us,” was all he said, his voice even.

“Hello to you too First-Warden Cousland. I suggest you back off and stop making demands of me.” Carver replied as he leaned back in his chair to stare at Aedan.

Aedan’s eyes narrowed. “When I asked you and Aveline to keep an eye out for the kids, I didn’t think you would actually arrest them.” 

“I didn’t think they would be foolish enough to fight my men on sight. I can’t just let him walk out of here on your say so. He’s not a Warden,” Carver reminded him.

“But he is a Light Warrior and as his Captain I can request his release to my care, Knight-Commander.” Fenris snapped.

“They fought templars?” Anders asked. 

“Yes, he nearly killed one man, and put two out of commission for some time. Our healers are not as well trained as some mages we know.” Carver glanced up at Fenris with curiosity.

“You may well be his Captain, but he will be interrogated and I will see if there are charges to be brought against him. The earliest you may expect release is tomorrow afternoon. However you can see him so you don’t go on thinking he was mistreated by us.” 

“I’ll be the judge of that Knight-Commander.” Fenris scowled at Carver before looking to his husband. “Why don’t you assist his men, perhaps it will show Serah Amell we mean no harm.

Anders expression would have been comical if it wasn’t for the situation. “Oh, sure! I’ll help heal the templars who don’t have adequate healers themselves because of centuries of repressing proper healing practices by the Chantry and the Templar Order. I will definitely do that.” He glanced at Carver. “Because I’m showing that we mean no harm.”’

“Beloved, now is not the time.” Fenris murmured in Ander as he waited for a templar to show them to the cell block.

“Knight-Corporal Jenkins will see you to the block. I’ll escort Warden Anders to the infirmary, if you please serah.” Carver narrowed his eyes at Anders for a moment before he rose to lead them out.

As Aedan walked by Anders and out into the hall, he casually reached up and smacked the mage on the back of the head. 

“Hey!” Anders muttered. “At least I didn’t almost start an incident with the Viscount’s guards.” He rubbed the back of his head and scowled. 

“Point and set love. See you in a bit,” Fenris said as he followed Aedan and the younger templar out of the room.

“So…” Anders drawled once he and the templars were alone. “This isn’t awkward at all.”

“Only if you make it so, Warden Iefyr. Come with me if you would, the infirmary is down the hall.” Carver led Anders out of his office at a brisk pace, unconcerned if the mage followed or not.

Anders would have sent a pleading glance to Cullen, but he knew how futile that would have been. Instead he followed Carver, his eyes on the templar’s back.

 _Don’t say anything_ , Anders thought to himself. _Don’t say anything._

“I promise not to secretly curse the templars that I heal,” Anders blurted out. He winced.

“Considering that you are a Warden and someone that is trusted by the Hero of Ferelden, I would not expect such low brow foolishness from a Harrowed mage.” Carver replied coolly as they entered the infirmary.

“Over there, the partitioned off area. Their injuries were extensive for going against an untested mage.” 

“Untested? Leto was taught by me and some of the finest mages in the Grey Wardens.” Anders scowled. “What do you mean by untested?” He stopped before the partition.

“He’s not a Circle mage, and not tested by our methods. Though you know we no longer harrow mages, he’s still not known to us. His lineage and location is the only reason he’s not registered in Kirkwall.” Carver replied as he watched Anders work.

Anders had pulled the partition back and crouched down next to the first cot. The templar looked young, and he had bandages wrapped around his chest. Anders frowned and placed his hands on the templar’s forehead. 

“Registration still pisses me off,” Anders muttered while he began to work, sending a questing probe through the young man.

“Is it not better than when you were in Kinloch? I heard the stories of you, Anders, and I’m surprised you still draw breath to be honest.” Carver replied.

The bruising on the templar’s chest and face disappeared, and he drew in a relieved, pain-free breath. Anders glanced over his shoulder. “Yeah, I used to think that too until I realized they kept me alive in order to keep templars alive. Lovely how that works out. when they finally got sick of my shit, they tried to kill me, several times.”

He stood to move onto the next patient. “And it is better. A damned sight better. But I won't think my work is done until mages can be truly free.”

"Well that is the past serah, and I hope you do not think I am treating you the same with using your services to heal my men." Carver didn't want to argue with the mage as he did a favor

Anders sighed and unwound the bandage that was around the templar’s head, revealing a gaping head wound. “No… Sorry… Templars still get my back up. It’s not your doing.” 

"As long as you understand I am not your enemy, we will be fine," the younger man leaned back to observe. "Will they recover?"

“They’ll recover. Leto used an Antivan poison along with magic. It was preventing your healers from doing their job. It doesn’t kill outright, but it can because it slows down the healing process or stops it completely. They must have really pissed him off to do that. You have to get rid of the poison first before you can heal the wounds.” The gash on the templar’s head closed, leaving nothing but a faint, pink scar behind.

"Antivan poison, an odd thing for a mage to use." Carver nodded in appreciation as he watched the Warden do his work.

“How did they manage to capture him?” Anders asked. “He has several skills at his disposal that would have made him hard to catch, let alone to take into custody.” The next templar wasn’t as bad as the others, and he watched Anders suspiciously while the mage healed his broken arm.

Carver scratched at his chin idly as he glanced at his ward. "Not sure, seems he was more concerned with eluding capture no matter what, then using the skills his father must have taught him." Carver grinned at the blond before him

"Crow Master Arainai is a bit of a legend, and even here. "

Anders laughed. “Zev isn’t a Crow master anymore he…” He trailed off. “Wait… Is he?” So much that Anders had seen and heard over the years suddenly made sense. How Zevran had set up Sirad’s spy network to help keep stability in Tevinter. Why he was gone so much from Weisshaupt. 

“Oh, fuck me,” Anders muttered. “Of course he is.” 

"It would seem some things elude even the warden's. If you are done I'll take you to your fellow warden's," Carver offered, and mostly to ease the distrust he could see in Valentin's expression as he watched Anders.

Anders got to his feet and brushed off his robes. “Tell your healers to look for a small anomaly in the blood. They have to cleanse that first.” 

He winked at Valentin before he followed Carver out. 

"I'll pass that on to our Senior Enchanter in charge of the infirmary. I thank you for your help." Carver led then back to the cell block, and eager to leave the mage with his companions.

Anders chewed on his bottom lip before speaking. “Maybe I could uh… When I have the time and if you are willing that is, but maybe I could come back and take a look as to how your mages are being taught the healing art and give some suggestions.” If there was one thing that Anders felt compelled to do, it was to help fill the gaps in the teaching the Chantry had left behind when it came to healing.

"If you can spare the time, I'm sure they would appreciate the help." He nodded towards the wooden doors and gave a slight bow. "You'll find them once you have passed stars doors, and and two cells down. Thank you again for your assistance."

“Welcome.” Anders gave him a bow in return. “Just don't mention my name to your cousin and we’ll be even.” 

"I'll try to forget it, Anders ." Carver grinned at the mage before he left.

Anders took a deep breath and steeled himself before he opened the door.

Fenris was leaned against the bars, his voice low as he spoke quickly to his nephew. "How in the Void did you get caught so soon?"

Anders came to stand by Aedan who was watching the two elves, his arms crossed over his chest. The cell was spacious, Anders had to give them that, but it was still dark and dimly lit by a single, smoking torch.

“Did I miss anything?” Anders asked. 

“No,” Aedan replied. “Leto was just about to explain himself.” 

"I didn't try to get caught, uncle, I wanted to get to them." Leto's voice dropped lower and he slipped into Tevene. "Luce is going to go mad with worry, I need to get out of here." 

Fenris threw up his hands and sighed. "You hurt the templars that tried to bring you in. You were already missing from our care and Aedan is not going to let you walk out of here without grilling you on where his son is. Dammit, Leto."

“We all know how to speak Tevene too,” Aedan sighed. “How long have I been living in the Anderfels now, and we’re right next door to Minrathous?” 

“I wouldn't be too hard on him for the templars,” Anders muttered.

"Damn me for not learning Antivan," Fenris groused. "Fine, get your questions out of the way, Aedan."

"I'm not answering to him, uncle, I'm no Warden and he can't make me talk." Leto crossed his arms and glared at his lover’s father.

“I’m not going to make you talk,” Aedan said as he approached the bars. “I’m just going to remind you that Lucen is his own man. I’m also going to remind you how impulsive he can be, worse than me. Then I’m going to point out how long you’ve been here and ask you to think on what he’s going to do about it? 

“Now how about you tell me where my son is and we can let you go, or you don’t and you can stay here and we wait for Luce to come to us, hopefully not in a manner that will be a cause of concern for the templars.”

"He'd never forgive me for betraying him. I trust that he'll do what's best, and Daer won't let him go off on a wild hunt." Leto glanced at his uncle before he sat on the rough cot. "Besides, all, you'll do is punish us for running away."

“You don't know what I’ll do and you wouldn't believe me if I told you. So I guess we’re waiting here for Luce and Daer then.” Aedan made a show of walking back and leaning against the wall, crossing his ankles together. 

“Seriously, this place is horrifying.” Anders waved his hand and the bars shimmered. “Cant use magic to get in or out. Nice touch that. I wouldn't want to stay here. I can't even stand looking at it to be honest.” 

"Leto, please just tell them. Do you want to make it worse for Luce if he comes for you?" Fenris asked quietly despite knowing they could understand him.

"What did they do to make you turn on us uncle? Guess your good will only extended to that one time." Leto scowled at them all before he flopped to his back.

Anders marched to the bars. “You were not there to see the consequences of him helping you, so you need to show him some respect, Leto. Everyone is already pulled in enough directions over this as it is.” 

Fenris snarled at his nephew before he stalked away. "Fine, be an asshole then. The earliest they'll release you is tomorrow. You're damned lucky they didn't do more than lock you up for fighting with templars. Keep your secrets, but you'll be released to me, and we will have words."

Aedan waved a hand in dismissal. “Go and get Zev.” At Leto’s look, Aedan raised an eyebrow. “Your father is in Arlathan. So is your mother.” 

That got Leto to his feet. "That's dirty, and..." The younger elf faltered for a moment then huffed. "Fine, get my dad, I don't care."

“Fenris, would you please go and get Zev?” Aedan asked softly.

"As you wish" Fenris left them, a blue flash and a slight popping noise left behind as he headed to get Zevran and possibly Varania

He found them in the dining hall, his breathing came in sharp pants as he tried to catch his breath. "Kirkwall, they have Leto, he's being stubborn and won't talk. Come with me."

**  
They didn't have to wait long before Fenris returned, Zevran in tow. The Antivan turned his eyes on his son and sauntered over to the bars, his stance deceptively casual. 

“Hello, Leto.”

"Father," Leto answered in Antivan. "They resorted to this to get me to talk?" The younger elf replied.

"We just want you to be safe." Fenris said tiredly.

“They are desperate and you three have outsmarted them. Well done, Leto. I am proud of you, yes? You will not be caged, and you will not allow those that you care about to be so.” A smile flitted across Zevran’s lips. 

“But to be caught as you are now… sloppy, Leto. You fought instead of escaping I am guessing. Ah… but that is your mother’s teaching. What can I do about it but shake my head.” 

"So you're going to make me tell on them? Or will you let me show you I've learned from you father?" Leto asked quietly as he came over to Zevran. "What would you have me do padre?"

“I would have you follow your heart, as I have always asked you to do.” Zevran tilted his head to the side, his blond hair falling over his shoulder. “And you do not have to betray your friends, I will tell them that they are with Merrill and the Dalish. You will be blameless, yes?” 

“Padre, do not do this to us...I beg you.” Leto whispered in Antivan.

“Leto, what are you two on about?” Fenris asked from where he’d joined Anders and Aedan.

“And be pulled between my son and my lover?” Zevran closed his eyes as if contemplating. “I will say nothing for the moment, but I will if I feel that you need us, yes?” He opened his eyes. 

Zevran’s hands were in front of him., hidden from Fenris and the others. But Leto could see the way his fingers twitched, minute movements that conveyed whole messages. 

_Escape if you can. I will not say anything for now, but if you cannot even get out of here, then you cannot protect them from what is coming._

For years, people had questioned Zevran on the way he had raised Leto, but his own upbringing had been harsh, and he had wanted to make sure that his son had all the skills he needed to never have to be a slave as his father had been.

Leto responded in kind, his gaze locked to his father as they communed. _“Thank you, lo siento padre. I will do as I must to keep us safe and prove you wrong. I just need time to lull them into seeing what I wish them to.”_

“Just think on what we are asking you to do,” Zevran said aloud in Antivan. All the while, his fingers were saying something different. 

_I love you. And I am proud of you for taking a stand in what you believe in, yes?_

“I know what you ask, can I at least have a few hours to think on it? Perhaps if they fed me, I could think well enough to see reason, padre.” Leto replied in trade as he silently thanked Zevran for his support.

Zevran let out a snort of annoyance. “Bah! You are being stubborn still.” He turned to the others. “I thought I knew where they might be, but I believe I am wrong, yes? Feed him and see if a few more hours of isolation will change his mind.” 

“They haven’t fed you? Knight-Commander Amell did not mention this to us.” Fenris snarled as he looked to the junior templar near the cell door. “Get him a hot meal, and something to drink.”

“Let us come back in a few hours, give him time to think,” Zevran suggested.

Aedan narrowed his eyes in suspicion at his lover. “Why don’t we wait here…” 

“Oh for fucks sake, really, Aedan?” He’s in a cell with templars everywhere, and I would like to eat too, not standing around a jail cell.”

“You give me far too much credit, First Warden Cousland.” Leto said as he watched the men surrounding his cell.

“Fine…” Aedan groused. “I’m hungry as well, truth be told.” 

A smile slipped over Zevran’s lips, and he slipped his arm around Aedan’s waist, feeling the cool metal of his armor. 

“Anything to get out of here,” Anders mumbled and was the first out of the room.

“I’ll wait to be sure Leto has been fed, unless that’s a problem too Aedan? I would like the boy to get a meal as well.” Fenris said testily.

“All right,” Aedan told him. “I’ll have a little talk with the Knight-Commander about feeding prisoners, especially one of ours.” 

“If you wish Aedan, I shouldn’t be too long provided that boy doesn’t take too long to get back here.” Fenris said.

“I’ll be fine uncle, a few more minutes won’t hurt me. Go on with them, I’ll be alright.” Leto assured his relative.

The older elf gave him a curious look but didn’t argue the point. “Very well, if you are not fed soon, have the guard find me and I will resolve this issue.” Fenris left with the others, his mind already ahead of what he was going to do to get Leto out.

**  
But Fenris never got a chance to use any of his plans. Daer and Lucen stared up at the large doors of the Viscount’s Keep. They both were hooded and cloaked, standing casually next to a pillar at the top of the great staircase that lead to the entrance. 

“If he’s not in here then he’s in the Gallows and that’s going to be a bit harder to get him out of,” Lucen murmured.

“Not really,” Daer waved a hand in dismissal. “I know plenty of ways in and out. Unlike you, I listened to my mother’s stories when she was part of the mage resistance.”

“I think we should go in now and blend in during the crowd of the day. It’ll also be easier to escape back to Darktown and out of the city.” 

“Agreed,” Daer said. “We’ll be just a part of the crowd.” 

“Let’s just hope Leto is all right,” Lucen said in a warning growl.

**  
Leto took his meal quickly, then stretched out as if he was exhausted. Soon, the guardsman left him alone and he was able to act. He’d kept his lockpicks and tools hidden from the men that brought him in, so he was able to bypass the lock quickly.

He slipped down the hallway towards the guard, ready to strike the man down so he could flee through the darkened tunnels he’d been brought through.

**  
It was simple to get into the Viscount’s Keep, but not so simple to see the Viscount himself. The main hall and its open, two levels were already filled with the daily petitioners waiting to see the Viscount. Some people waited weeks before being granted an audience. Lucen and Daer blended in seamlessly. 

“Okay, are you sure you know where the dungeon is,” Lucen whispered.

“I told you, I listened to mother. I know exactly where it is. Unlike the Gallows, the Keep is better guarded these days so we’ll have to be careful.”

“That goes without saying,” he answered dryly.

In a slow meander, they began to make their way to a side door on the first floor, the one that would take them to the servant’s quarters and towards lower levels. They weaved through the crowd, occasionally stopping and bending their heads together as if conversing.

** 

Meanwhile Leto had slipped the guards with a simple sleep cantrip, but hadn’t managed to liberate his sword, which if he had to let it go he would. He’d taken a simple acolyte robe so he wouldn’t draw attention, well as long as he didn’t use his brands. 

He kept to the shadows, and moved quickly but without hurrying enough to draw the guards to him. Leto was so focused on his route, he nearly missed Lucen and Daer’s approach.

“What the fuck?” Lucen exclaimed. A few eyes turned his way, and he ducked his head, grabbing Daer by the arm. They hurried over to Leto. If they hadn’t been trying to remain inconspicuous, and if Lucen hadn’t known Leto so well, they would have dismissed him for another acolyte. 

“We came to rescue you,” Lucen said incredulously. 

“Looks like he didn’t need it,” Daer deadpanned.

“Maker I thought you were your father with how you sounded. Don’t scare me like that.” Leto snapped. “Come on before all three of us get caught.”

But it was too late. 

“Hey!” The bellow resounded in the enormous main hall, a sound that Lucen knew all too well. Every eye in the room glanced up to the second floor, and Lucen took an involuntary step back when he saw his father looking down at them over the railing. 

“Shit, that’s not good. Take my hands, both of you, NOW.” Leto yelled as he let the hood drop from his head.

Lucen’s dropped from his head as well, and those closest to him began to scream. His eyes burned with an inner fire, while scales had erupted up one side of his face, fangs peeking out over his lips.

“Go, go!” Daer cried.

The others had joined Aedan at the railing. Anders glancing down in horror, while Zevran gave his son a small smile and salute. 

“Stop!” Aedan yelled. 

“Dammit Leto, all of you...stop.” Fenris bellowed as he let his brands light so he could stop his nephew. He teleported down just in time to grab Leto by the collar.

“Let go Uncle, let go.” he yelled.

“Oh shit,” Lucen managed to grit out before the four of them vanished.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders wants his husband back, Lucen finds his purpose and Aedan can't let go yet.

Fenris stumbled back once they landed in the middle of what was the Dalish encampment. “Oh shit is right...this is where you went? No wonder you got caught.” 

The elven warden snapped as he tried to get to his feet but found himself pinned under Lucen who seemed particularly unhappy with his accidental ride with them.

“We won’t go back,” he snarled. 

“Luce!” Daer screamed. “It was an accident!” 

“Bullshit.” Lucen’s clawed hands wrapped around Fenris’ throat. “He’s been a Light Warrior for longer than you two have been alive. Don’t tell me he didn’t mean to come with us.” 

“I….I didn’t, I just reached for Leto. I swear, Lucen, I don’t mean you harm.” Fenris gasped as he forced himself to be still under his nephew.

“And what will you do when I let you go? Go flitting off back to Anders and my father, tell everyone where we are? They can’t help me, Fenris. I know that now.” 

“Luce, please don’t hurt my uncle...our uncle. He took care of you as a child. You told me about how uncle elf-bunny helped you as a boy. Please…” Leto begged as he watched Fenris and Lucen.

The older elf’s eyes closed as his air was cut off. He tried to pry Lucen off him but couldn’t break the younger man’s hold on him. “Please” he gasped before he fell unconscious.

“Luce!” Daer screamed. Her and Leto wrapped their hands around Lucen’s shoulders as they tried to pry him off of Fenris. “You have to let go, Luce,” she begged.

“Dammit, let go of him. He passed out Lucen. Are you trying to kill him?” Leto snapped as he tried to loosen his lover’s grip. “Do you want to hurt Anders too? Do you know what it will do to him if Fenris dies? Sirad isn’t here to bring him back.”

His words struck Lucen like a blow. he reared back, throwing the two of them off of him and released Fenris, scrambling to his feet. 

Leto scrambled to his uncle, and held his hands over Fenris so he could try to heal him but he couldn’t focus. “Daer...help please.”

“Coming,” she gasped. She crawled over to Fenris and placed her hands on him, muttering the words to a healing spell. 

Lucen watched them with dead eyes. “Didn’t I tell you?” he asked as they worked. “Didn’t I tell you I would be dangerous?” 

“No, this is just a mistake. I know you wouldn’t normally hurt Fenris. Don’t say that, Luce, please.” Leto rose and approached his lover slowly.

“Look at me, Leto!” Lucen all but screamed. “Look at me and look at what I did to him. Do you honestly think you and Daer are safe? That you aren’t scared?”

“I’m not scared of you Luce, never will be. This was a mistake, a bad one but a mistake. We all make them, I mean I got caught by the templars. That was a big one. You were just worried about us, you’re protecting us Luce. Don’t act like you’re a villain because you’re not.” Leto pleaded with him.

Behind them, the sounds of Fenris coughing and gasping for air broke the tense silence that hung between the two men.

“I’m acting like a villain because I am, Leto.” Lucen took a step back.

“Fenris?” Daer whispered. “Are you okay?” 

“Throat hurts, but I’m ok. Where’s Luce?” he replied.

“You’re not, please stop it, Luce, you’re not a villain, you’re not bad. You shouldn’t talk like that, just...remember the control we worked on, you can do this, you can keep it in if you try.” Leto pleaded.

“Control? I was foolish to think I could control this. This is who I am, Leto. Who I was born to be.”

“We need to stop him,” Daer said softly to Fenris. “Before he does something he will regret. Even more that is…” 

“Help me up, sister.” Fenris muttered as he leaned on his sibling.

“Luce, it’s ok ...just let me prove I won’t turn on you. Trust me, please.” 

Daer slipped her arms around Fenris and bolstered him under his shoulder, helping him to his feet. 

“Glad he didn’t kill you, “she said in Tevene. “I would’ve had to kill Lucen in retribution.” 

“Then you’d all have slaughtered each other and Aedan would curse my soul unto eternity.” Fenris whispered back. He approached Lucen slowly, his hands empty and his words slow. 

“Lucen, I risked a lot to help Leto break you out. I didn’t do that to just turn you over the first chance I got. I knew he’d get himself out of that cell and back to you. It’s a mistake that I’m here but we can fix it. You can bind me, keep me asleep while you flee. That way I won’t know where you went and I can just tell them I was unconscious. Or you can keep me here, I won’t fight you.” 

“Uncle...no.” Leto whispered, his worry over how Anders would react made him cautious. 

“I’m leaving,” Lucen said quietly. “I’m sorry, Leto, Daer, Fenris. I know what… All of you have sacrificed for me, but I don’t want you to sacrifice your lives.” 

“No, you are not leaving, Lucen. Not after all they did to help you, after what I did to keep you with Leto. I will be damned if you just walk off from this.” Fenris said tiredly, his anger less effective thanks to being leaned against his little sister.

Leto turned angrily and stalked over to stand chest to chest with Luce. “You leave us, and I will never forgive you, Lucen Cousland. I did not sacrifice for you to run off like a coward. I did not give you my heart so you could crush it as you turn tail on us. Fuck you for even saying that, Luce. You want to survive, you want to control it, you stay here with us and do that. But don’t you dare run off after all this, don’t you fucking dare.”

“I don’t want to kill you,” Lucen whispered, his voice guttural.   
“You’re not going to kill anyone Luce, we believe in you.” Fenris whispered.

“Lucen, you’re not a monster, you’re not. Stop and listen to us.” Leto asked as he reached up to caress the other boys’ face.

“Everything inside me is telling me to run,” Lucen rasped. 

“Don’t do it.” Fenris cautioned. 

“Don’t let me hurt him.” Lucen pleaded with Fenris and Daer. “Any of you, don’t let me hurt any of you. Swear to me.” 

“I swear it Luce, I swear it on my life and soul.” Fenris said to him.

“As do I, I am with you to the end of the line Lucen.” Leto tugged him down to kiss him gently so he could affirm his love in deed as well as word.

Lucen shuddered against him. “Thank you. I’m sorry I’m such a fucking coward.” 

Daer for her part, pressed her lips tightly together. It seemed a force of will for her to get words past them. “I swear. But only as a last resort.” 

“Let’s get settled and I could use something to eat if you don’t mind Leto.” Fenris said as he turned towards the first Aravel he saw.

“That’s Merrill’s,” Daer whispered. 

“Never mind, can you take me to yours?” Fenris muttered tiredly.

“Let me take him Daer, he’s heavier than he looks.” Leto offered as he pulled back from Lucen.

Lucen went with him, carefully approaching Fenris. 

Daer laughed. “I’ll go and talk to Merrill. Although it’s nice that the clan let us have our little spat, we don’t want to push our welcome.” 

“Surprised she didn’t lock me up on sight, she’s never liked me since Fen’Harel used me and terrified her years ago.” Fenris said as Leto slipped his arm around him and lead them towards the Aravel they’d taken over.

“Keeper Merrill isn’t bad uncle, but from the stories they told you were terrifying then.” Leto teased.

“Play nice everyone,” Daer scolded. “We want to stay here and we need to get along.” 

“As you wish sister…” Fenris let Leto lead him away, careful not to hit his head on the frame once they arrived. “Being taller than other elves is a pain some days.”

Lucen didn’t say a word as he bent almost double to get inside. he sat down on one of the bed and buried his face in his hands. His transformation had receded some, but there were faint scales still on his jaw and hands. 

“Luce… you alright?” Fenris asked as he sat on a pile of cushions with a groan.

“No,” Lucen groaned. “I almost killed you. I just… I need a moment. Sorry, Fenris. I’m so sorry.” 

“No worries, you were just worried about Leto. I’m fine now Luce, come here and see that I’m fine.” Fenris beckoned his ‘nephew’ over so he could see that he was alright.

Leto simply moved out of the way.

Lucen stood and took the few steps needed to walk over to Fenris. He crouched down in front of the elf, peering into his face. “I’m scared,” he whispered. 

“I know, but we’re going to help you. Your uncle elf-bunny hasn’t let you down before and I’m not going to start now, alright?” Fenris smiled at him and pulled Lucen into his arms. “You are loved Luce, know that we will be here for you.”

Lucen sucked in a shuddering breath. “Thank you…”

**  
Anders’ eyes snapped open and he stood from the place on the rug he’d been sitting for several hours. He had hope that his bond with Fenris would show him where the teens had taken him, and after searching in tense silence, he had finally found his husband. 

“They’re with the Dalish,” Anders hissed. He glanced up at Zevran who sat with the others at a large table in one of the Viscount’s private rooms. “But you had already figured that out, hadn’t you, Zev?” 

“I knew that was where they had been, but not that was where they had taken Fenris, yes?” Zevran popped a sweet grape between his lips and chewed thoughtfully. “So do not blame me for what has happened.” 

“Well you know where they are, you can take horses to get to the Dalish camp.Considering how the younger Arainai responded to being taken in by templars, I will keep my men well away from the camp.” Cullen offered.

“They are all mages Viscount, you cannot mean to let them run free.” Carver protested.

“I mean to let the Wardens take care of their own, we shall not interfere Knight-Commander Amell, stand with me and let them deal with this.” Cullen replied sternly.

“Oo,” Anders breathed. “Scary mages running rampant in the world. Whatever shall we do!”

“That’s enough, Anders,” Aedan commanded.

“Do not make it worse Anders, I will speak with the Knight-Commander, now I believe you have the run of our best horses and all we can do to assist you in getting Ser Iefyr back with you. Apologies, if you will have them serah.” Cullen gave the blond mage a bow, his gaze dark as he glanced at Carver.

“If you don’t mind, I will assist you in getting Fenris back. hopefully they will not mind the presence of a tame mage.” Invictus replied bitterly.

Anders let out a feigned gasp. “Tamed mage? Are you saying there are other things besides scary ones?” 

Aedan buried his face in his hands. “Maker, Anders. I know you’re worried about Fenris but--”

“No, Aedan,” Anders whispered his jovial tone gone. “You don’t know.”

“If my assistance is unwanted, I can remain here Commander Iefyr.” Invictus replied frostily.

“All of you stop it, Anders get the damned horses and get your man. Vic, stop with that. I won’t spend another silver to repair the Keep if you and Carver get into another row. Aedan, take your people and go.” Cullen snapped out orders rapid fire, tired of everyone.

“I’m not a commander anymore,” Anders told Invictus. “And you’re welcome to come along.” With that he walked out of the room in a swirl of robes and indignation. 

“Well!” Zevran said. He gave Cullen an elegant bow. “Viscount. Thank you for your hospitality and assistance. The Grey Wardens thank you… even if they don’t act like it.” 

“I’ll see you later, Cull. Pray for me.” Invictus whispered quietly before he followed behind the wardens.

“Careful, love, Anders is a handful when he’s full of piss and vinegar.” Cullen replied as he watched them all file out.

As soon as the door was shut, Carver laid into the other man. “How dare you speak to me like that in front of them, Cullen?”

“How dare you endanger us like that, Knight-Commander? Anders is still hair trigger even with years to soothe him. His husband is missing and he’s never been a friend to the crown except Alistair, so do not give me your rage unless you mean to carry it to the end young, Amell.” 

**  
Anders didn’t love riding horses at the best of times, but he rode out of Kirkwall and towards the Dalish camp as if he did it every day, sitting on his mount with determination and surety. The others rode behind him, pushing their horses to catch up. 

“He’s going to go ballistic isn’t he?” Vic asked Aedan as they rode towards the Dalish lands.

“Anders doesn’t get upset very easily, at least not in a way that we can’t calm down. But when it comes to certain things, he can be dangerous.” Aedan watched the stiff set of Anders’ shoulders. 

“Like Fenris being taken?” Vic queried.

“That would do it.”

“And being around templars that he doesn’t know if he can trust,” Zevran added.

“I thought he knew Carver, and well you know he and Cullen have a history.” Vic added.

“He doesn’t know your brother the way he knows Cullen.” Aedan pulled back just enough so that Anders wouldn’t overhear. 

“Seems I don’t know him either, with changing his name to Amell rather than Hawke.” Vic said bitterly.

“I have a brother,” Aedan said quietly. “Family can be complicated.”

“Don’t I know it. However that is a tale for dinner, over a lot of wine and a hearty meal. I will endeavor to keep things civil for all our sakes.” Vic said softly.

“Lots and lots of wine,” Aedan murmured. He blew out a long breath. “Let’s just hope Anders doesn’t start an incident with the Dalish before we can have that dinner.” 

“Considering how angry he is, that’s a lost cause.” Vic said before he kicked his horse into a faster gallop to catch up with the others as they approached the camp.

I’ll keep an eye on Anders and you watch Vic,” Zevran told Aedan in Antivan.

“Shit,” Aedan mumbled. 

Vic arched a dark brow but said nothing else as they rode on.

As they came to the camp, several Dalish archers came out of the brush and trees, their bows drawn, arrows trained on the riders. Anders pulled his horse up sharply, his mouth set in angry lines. 

“Go and get Merrill,” he demanded in Dalish.

“And here we go,” Aedan murmured. “How am I the calm one right now?” 

“We don’t orders from shem mages, who are you and what do you want with our Keeper?” one of the hunters replied, her bow kept at the ready to show the blond human his place.

“Tell your Keeper that Warden Anders, First Warden Aedan Cousland, Warden Zevran, and First Enchanter Hawke are here to speak with her. She’ll know why,” Anders said between gritted teeth.

“You’re the one married to Lord Iefyr, guess that’s why you think you can order us about.” the other Dalish hunter sneered at Anders, his sword in hand and eager for blood.

“Your Antivan friend may enter and seek out the Keeper, you shems stay here.” the first hunter said haughtily.

Zevran had his own issues with the Dalish and how they had treated him and his mother all those years ago. He sat up straighter in his saddle. “We know you hide our children here, yes? We know you have Lord Iefyr here as well.” He responded in flawless Dalish, much better than what Anders had spoken. 

Invictus had little clue what was going on besides knowing Anders had asked something, the hunters gave no ground and it seemed Zevran had asked again. He leaned over to Aedan to see if he understood anything.

“A little bit,” Aedan answered quietly. “They will let Zev enter, but Zev isn’t the biggest fan of the Dalish and I don’t think he wants to go in like that.”

“Zev,” Aedan called. “Just go. We’re so close to them now and the longer we wait, the harder it will be to get Anders to calm down and avoid an incident.” 

Zevran scowled, but gave Aedan a sharp nod. He dismounted and handed his reins to Aedan before approaching the archers. 

“The fact they won’t let him in and he knows Fenris is in there, this is going to get bad no matter how they handle it, Aedan.” Vic muttered as he watched the other mage tense up

“Do you know how powerful Anders is?” Aedan asked. “He rarely shows it other than in his healing but... “ he trailed off when he saw Anders get off his own mount.

“No! I’m going in too,” Anders shouted. “You can’t keep me from my husband.” 

Anthera turned and nocked an arrow in Anders direction. “You get no say in this, shem, I don’t care who you’ve managed to tether yourself to. Lord Iefyr is the chosen of Mythal, and he will be protected here. Wait for your warden brethren to bring him forth.”

“Tethered?” Anders asked dangerously. “I’m not tethered to him. He’s my other half and if you won’t let me in, then I’ll go in myself!” Flames erupted on his hands and swept up his arms. 

“Shit...that’s not good.” Vic called forth ice to counter Anders elemental magic. “Anders, calm down please.”

“Fuck off, Hawke!” Flame met ice in midair, crashing together and exploding into steam. “If it was Cullen you wouldn’t be so fucking calm!” 

“Take me to Lord Iefyr now,” Zevran hissed at the archers. “He’s the only one who can stop this.” 

“Take him to Lord Iefyr, I’ll calm this mage myself.” Veddir commented as he pulled a vial from his pouch and a dagger to pour it over.

“Come with me before he gets himself killed, Ser Warden.” Anthera called as she turned to jog into the Dalish camp.

Zevran hurried after her, catching up in quick strides. 

“I’m tired of this!” Anders cried. He whirled around on the Dalish. “Bring me my husband!” The flames climbed higher up his arms with every word, until they seemed to envelope his upper body completely, hot ash landing to smolder on the ground. 

“Anders!” Aedan called. “This isn’t you! You need to calm down.” 

Vic scowled and cast a stronger cone of cold towards Anders in the hopes he could keep the other mage from starting a blaze that could take out a good chunk of the forest. “Anders, calm the fuck down.”

Veddir was forced back by the ring of flames that surrounded the other man. “What does he see in you shem, this something a magister would have done to get their way.” he hissed.

“You little fucking prick!” Anders growled between his teeth. “You want to see a fucking magister? I’ll show you one.” He lifted his hands and at the same time the cold slammed into him, knocking him off balance.

“This isn’t like you Anders, please stop it. You told me the stories about how your power went out of control, do you want to burn the camp down? They’re getting Fenris, just stop this please.” Vic pleaded even as he pumped more power into his spell.

“I’m not a magister!” Anders yelled. He looked down at his hands that were wreathed in flames. “I have control. I can control this.” With a force of will he pushed back at the anger that had consumed him.

Vic stopped his own spell with a relieve sigh. “Thank you.”

Zevran rounded a large boulder with Fenris behind him. The two elves paused when they saw the chaos of fire that still smouldered on Anders. 

“Oh no...not again.” Fenris said as he looked to the others that awaited them. 

“Love,” Anders breathed. The last of the flame winked out, but some smoke still rose from Anders’ robes. 

“Thank fuck,” Aedan said. 

“Hey love.” Fenris said as he approached them. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“Well you did kind of just disappear into thin air, when you weren’t planning to. I’m just glad you’re safe and we didn’t have to fight Anders.” Vic said in relief.

Anders ignored them all to rush over to his husband and sweep him up in his arms. The mage reeked of soot and smoke. 

“Anders, breathing, it’s important, love.” Fenris gasped as he was held tight.

“Kind of defeats the purpose in saving him if you squeeze the air from him Anders.” Vic called out.

Anders set him down and cupped his face in his hands, giving him a lingering kiss. “I was scared,” he whispered against Fenris’ lips. “Are you all right?” 

“Don’t be scared love, I’m alright. Glad to see you, and ready to get back to Arlathan if you are.” Fenris returned his husband’s affection before he hugged Anders close to him.

“For a moment you were hurt,” Anders said. “I felt it, Fenris. I felt your consciousness just go out. Who hurt you?” 

Fenris looked down and muttered his answer, worried that it would make Anders go ballistic again. “He didn’t mean to do it, I’m fine now, Anders.”

“Who,” Anders asked darkly.

“Lucen,” Fenris said.

“He’s in the camp?” Anders voice had become flat. 

“Yes, why?” Fenris replied in worry.

“Excuse me.” Anders let go of Fenris and began walking towards camp, heedless of the Dalish archers that scrambled to stop him. 

“Anders!” Aedan bellowed. “Stop!” 

“Anders, no, don’t.” Fenris scrambled to get in front of his husband.

“I’ve had enough of this,” Anders spat. The flames started smoking on his hands again. “I’ve tried to make sure that everyone is happy, that everyone gets what they need, but enough is enough. He hurt you, Fenris, and I can’t stand by and do nothing about it. Not anymore.” 

“He didn’t mean to do this, please don’t get angry at Luce, love.” Fenris begged.

Anders shook his head and moved past Fenris, stalking towards the camp.

“Lucen!” he called out, his voice carrying. 

“Shit...shit, shit.” Fenris said as he turned to face Aedan and the others. “Well, can we stop him?”

“Magebane,” Zevran said. “We need to sap his powers.” 

“Do it,” Aedan said. 

“Give me the blade, I’ll be the one for him to be angry at when he’s cut off.” Fenris held his hand out for the weapon.

Zevran did as he asked, coating the blade with the poison first. “The throat is the best place to nick him, right on the side. It will work faster.” 

“Hurry before the Dalish do it first,” Aedan urged. 

Fenris ran down the path, silent as he sprung up to tackle Anders. "Forgive me beloved." He whispered as he nicked the other man.

He pushed Fenris off of him in order to prevent him from being engulfed by the flames, but it didn’t matter. The fire was snuffed out as the magic fueling it was sapped away. Anders stumbled in shock and slapped a hand over his neck. 

“I’m sorry, but you’re out of control. Aedan will kill you if you hurt his son.” Fenris said quietly as he backed away from his husband.

“I’m out of control?”Anders asked incredulously. “He hurt you!” He felt faintly sick and disconnected from his body as the poison worked through him.

“Not on purpose, this is like that time when your anger got the better of you. Please stop and think, what will happen if you hurt Lucen?” Fenris tried to reason with his husband.

“I know, I know.” Anders slumped to the ground, braced his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. “The kids are here then?” 

“Yes, they are.” the elf replied

Invictus came over to help Anders up if he’d take it.

Anders got to his feet, but he wouldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. “Then let’s go and get them. We need to end this chaos.” 

“If they don’t freak out on sight at us.”

“Will they let us in now?” Aedan asked. “because at this point if they don’t I’m with Anders about pushing our way through.” 

“Who knows, and with his power cut off, do we want to risk a fight?” Fenris said.

Zevran looked to the archers. “May we see the Keeper now? This has gone on long enough.” 

“Yes, follow us.” Veddir said frostily as he turned to lead them into the camp.

Fenris slipped his hand into Anders as they walked, grateful nothing worse happened and glad that they hadn’t had to subdue him further.

Anders could barely feel his bond with Fenris, the magebane having cut off all magic inside him. He held onto Fenris’ hand tightly as they walked into the camp. 

“Lucen!” Aedan shouted. 

Leto groaned when he heard Aedan’s shouts. “Your father is going to kill us.” 

Lucen got to his feet and opened the door to aravel and ducked outside. “Time to face them,” he said, his voice full of determination. 

“Maker save us, failing that let our ends be quick and painless.” Leto muttered as he filed out with the others.

Daer linked hands with Leto in a show of solidarity and to lend emotional support as they followed Luce to his father. The First Warden froze when he saw his son, a vulnerability showing on his face for a moment before he stopped in the center of the camp and crossed his arms over his chest. 

Leto let his hand rest gently on Lucen’s back for a moment before the older boy went out to meet his father.

But Anders got to Lucen first. Despite his promises, despite knowing the trouble it would cause, he was still angry with the younger Cousland. 

“What did you do to Fenris?” he asked harshly, striding towards Lucen. When it came to Fenris’ safety, Anders had never been the most rational. 

“Anders, stop it. I’m fine and for the last time he didn’t mean to hurt me. Calm yourself, love, please.” Fenris pleaded.

“I’m sorry, Anders,” Lucen said. “You have no idea how sorry.” 

Anders continued on as if he hadn’t heard. “Do any of you know what kind of trouble you’ve caused? Did any of you for one second think about someone other than each other?”

“Anders, don’t do this. Luce didn’t mean it and Fenris is fine now. He’s alright. He didn’t even mean to come with us. Please don’t do this, I’ve seen you lose your temper and it’s pretty ugly.” Leto came around his lover and tried to placate his ‘uncle’.

Fenris did one better, he got in front of Anders to keep him from advancing further on Lucen. “Adelric Iefyr, stop this. I’m fine and you will do no one any favors by threatening Lucen. Do you want Aedan to take your head?”

“I want them to think,” Anders said evenly. 

Lucen scowled. “Don’t threaten me, Anders. I might be feeling guilty right now for what I did to Fenris, what I’ve done to everyone, but don’t--” 

“I love you, Luce,” Anders said. “You and Fenris helped each other when both of you were taken, but this has to stop. It all has to stop.” 

“Anders, don’t do this. Don’t threaten anyone else, please. We’ll go back, we’ll go back and work with you but don’t make this worse.” Leto said.

Fenris pushed Anders chest so the mage would have to stop trying to run him over. “Goddamit Anders, listen to us.”

Anders stopped, but his eyes narrowed into angry slits. HIs nerves were worn thin, fraying at the edges. Being in a templar dungeon and seeing the magically charged bars, witnessing Fenris disappear, and then feeling him in pain before almost nothingness, coupled with the Dalish refusing to let him see his husband at first had snapped what control he had. 

The arguments amongst themselves. Anders being put in the tough position of taking a side against Fenris, and doing what he thought was right. The lies and secrets. On and on, and Anders had had enough.

“You three think because Lucen was in a cell for a few days that any of you know what it’s like for a second to be truly imprisoned, to have your freedom and your very self taken from you. You’re children and you know nothing of what that’s like,” he hissed between his teeth. 

“Anders,” Aedan barked. “Stop!” 

Fenris nudged harder at his husband. “Beloved, listen to me when I say this. Hear me else I will become incredibly cross with you. You know Lucen’s powers are unknown, untested and he turned men to ash with a mere thought. Do you really want him to turn that power on you? Or worse, have Aedan at your throat?” 

“Anders, we know you’ve dealt with more than we ever will. No one said we thought his few days meant we know what you’ve endured. Stop and listen to us, please.” Leto begged.

“And you think you know what it’s like to have no control over your own body, to have powers you don’t understand, to think that you might be evil and could kill everyone you love if you let loose for only a moment,” Lucen shouted back. 

Anders gave a bitter laugh. “I know that feeling all too well. I’m a Harrowed mage, something you three will never know. I know what it’s like to be locked away for what you might do. But I also know the difference between a threat and something less tangible. You’ve said yourself before that you’ve killed. Fenris just said it now.” 

“Love, please I am begging you to stop this. Must I get on my knees?” Fenris pleaded as he tugged Anders coat so the blond would look at him instead of over him.

“He doesn’t care uncle, he’s too mired in making sure we feel lucky we never had to deal with what mages had to in his time. We’re lucky, we get it. Now can you let it go, and let us go home? You’ve caught us, we’ll go with you.” Leto snapped.

“Fuck you, Leto,” Anders shot back. 

“You’re done, yes?” Zevran said from behind him. “Do not make me put you to sleep.” 

Fenris stepped back and glared at his husband. “What did you say to my nephew, my heart?” 

“Fuck you too, Anders, we are trying to keep this civil and you can’t let go of your past, not since I could sit at your knee and hear stories. Over twenty years and you can’t let it go. Fuck you then for us not being made to suffer same as you and being glad of it.” Leto’s own power flared to life as blue and white flames that danced over his hands.

‘Would you dare say that to anyone else here?” Anders asked quietly. “Would you dare say that to your uncle about his past?”

“Anders… Brother,” Daer said. “Stand down. You too, Leto.” 

“We’re in the middle of the Dalish camp,” Aedan hissed. “Save it for when we’re back in Arlathan.” 

Fenris hissed in anger before he pointed back towards where they entered. “March, now. We are so not doing this here and now. You don’t get to talk to him like that,” he turned and pointed at his nephew angrily. “You don’t speak to him like that, or me or other adults. All you get going so we can make it back to Arlathan before nightfall, now.” 

Anders whirled on his heel and marched off as he had been told, his shoulders set in angry lines.

“Great,” Daer murmured, “we pissed off one of the nicer ones.” 

Aedan used the opportunity to go to his son and sweep him up in a large hug. “I was worried I wasn’t going to see you again,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry, Father,” Lucen said.

“Don’t be, I should’ve listened to you and not locked you away.” 

Leto glowered at Anders as he left,then back at his uncle before he turned to get his things. 

Fenris glanced at Daer before he beckoned to her. “Can you get my weapon? I do not wish to anger Leto any further. As it is, I doubt I’ll have any peace tonight.”

“Sure. Just make sure they don’t all kill each other before I get back. I’ll get the rest of your stuff too.” She turned and trotted off.

Aedan pulled away from Lucen. “I need to speak with Merrill before I go back to Arlathan. Go with Fenris, and I’ll be back before nightfall.” 

Lucen gave him a short nod.

Fenris scrubbed at his face tiredly as he watched her head into camp. He felt his age all of a sudden, and exhausted. “I just want to go home.” he said quietly to himself.

“Leto, do you think you can transport some of us back to Arlathan?” Aedan asked. “We only have a few horses.” He glanced at Fenris. “Your uncle should be one of the ones you take.” 

“I can teleport people Aedan, I’m tired but not that tired.” Fenris replied tersely.

Aedan held his hands up. “I wa just trying to make sure that your body wasn’t stressed anymore.” 

“I will ride back with you,” Zevran said. “And I think we should keep Anders with us, yes? To give him some time to calm himself?” 

“He’s not going to be calm for a while...I might wind up sleeping alone for a few nights. At least I have the villa.” Fenris muttered.

“I’ve got your sword,” Daer called. She had several packs slung over her back. “I want to say goodbye to Merrill first.”   
“Of course, I’ll be at the gates when you are ready to go. Hopefully I won’t get shanked for my troubles.” Fenris took his pack, and sword from her before he turned to Aedan.

“I’m sorry, please don’t punish Anders too much for this. I think he’s beyond the end of his rope and being doused with magebane was the last thing that pushed him over the edge. 

“I know,” Aedan assured him. “We’ve all had a tough time lately.” He was so glad to have Lucen back, that he didn’t care to get angry.

“I’m surprised Luce came along with no real fight. Maybe we can work this out after all.” Fenris sighed as he glanced to where Anders paced between arguing with Zevran and giving him dirty looks. “Or not…”

Zevran looked alternately bored and amused with Anders. He muttered something in a calm voice and Anders paused, throwing up his hands and stalking off.

“He worked hard to make sure the next generation of mages didn’t have to go through what he did. He’s overreacting, but all of this has hit a nerve with him.” Aedan watched Anders climb on his horse.

“No kidding, I’m sure dinner will be a lovely affair. Go on, I’ll bring the kids home.” Fenris said tiredly.

“Thank you.” Aedan clapped Fenris on the back. “I’m glad that you’re safe.”

“No need to thank me, I’m just glad they’re alright and willing to come with us.” Fenris nodded and headed into camp to get the children and head home.

**  
It wasn’t until well past the dinner bell that everyone was finally back and gathered in the dining hall of Arlathan. While Lucen and Leto picked at their meal, Anders didn’t touch a thing and sipped his wine. 

Fenris shoved food around on his plate more than he put in his mouth. He was tired, and wanted to just sleep away the headache that had started during his fight with Anders the second their door shut.

They hadn’t had a knock down, drag out screaming match in so long, Fenris had forgotten how much it took out of him. It hadn’t helped that the mage bane had worn off during their fight, Anders power snapping from his hands as he flailed angrily at his husband.

The elven fighter put his tray to the side and put his head down with a low groan. 

The silence was finally broken by Rhys. “We are almost out of answers,” he finally said. “It’s time for us to stop working separately and start working together. No one’s opinion on this or idea will be discarded easily if at all.” 

“I have an opinion,” Morrigan said loftily. “I have several of them in fact.”

“Mother,” Lucen said with a groan.

“What’s happened to you… I’ve thought about it, for almost two decades. I did this to you in my vanity. But when I found out that Daer wanted to know how the ritual I enacted to create you worked, it brought me to another road I hadn't thought to go down.” 

Fenris remained silent in his misery, but listened to what Morrigan had to say.

Leto let his hand rest on Lucen’s thigh for his own comfort as well as his partner. “What do you mean, Morrigan?”

“I mean that I created a vessel that a god could reside in, one that would never be destroyed like a normal mortal’s would be. I had thought that when the Archdemon had been driven from Lucen, that was the end of it, but I never…” She stopped her self. “No… No I had thought of it, but I didn't want to think too long or too hard on what it mean.” 

“What did you do, Morrigan?” Aedan asked.

“It’s what we did, Aedan. When the Archdemon’s soul was banished, it left behind the vessel we had created, it had left behind some of it’s powers. Lucen is only becoming what he was always meant to become. There might not be any separating the two. Lucen was always meant to become a god.” 

That made Fenris sit up. “But what if he can control his powers? He doesn’t have to become evil.” 

‘Evil and good are subjective.” Morrigan sipped at her wine. “The one who is evil, never considers themselves that, only that they are in the right. I let my emotions as to what was happening to Lucen blind me to the truth. Power is power, it does not care for good or evil.” 

“If that were true, then mages would have never been enslaved,” Anders said. “As much as we might wish it otherwise, power can be evil.” 

“Either way, what does this mean for Lucen?” Fenris asked tiredly.

“It means that I don’t have to be afraid of this,” Lucen said slowly. “It means that I can do some good with this power.” 

He glanced up sharply at Anders. “You said that we didn’t understand what it was like for mages before we were born. And although things are better, I know they still aren’t the best. I could fix that. I could go into Kirkwall and make the templars give them true freedom.”

“That’s dangerous thinking,” Anders whispered. “I should know. I’ve thought of it often enough. But then you would be a tyrant and they would fear you.” 

“But I could do it,” Lucen insisted. “I could hunt down the slavers still working underground in Minrathous. I could stop wars.” 

“If there are slavers still in Minrathous, I’ll clean them out with pleasure.” Fenris said as he sat up straighter, his fingers at his temples in an attempt to dispel the headache he was nursing.

“Uncle, you would make the streets run red...let Lucen help.” Leto said as he watched Fenris carefully.

“That would be the point, and I’d rather enjoy it. Killing slavers is one of my favorite ways of relaxing.” Fenris muttered as he rubbed harder.

“We’re not letting you do anything,” Rhys said. “Anders is right, some of what you suggest would be an abuse of power. You can’t just walk in and change people's lives like that.” 

“Why not?” Lucen snapped. “Isn’t that what every single one of you did in Tevinter? You walked in and changed the whole system. Why would anything I do be different?” 

“We needed to do that Lucen, Tevinter was a bastion of corruption and blood magic. It’s not the same.” Fenris replied.

“Love, please calm yourself.” Leto murmured in Tevene.

“It is the same!” Lucen cried. “Have you seen Kirkwall? We came up through Darktown--it’s still fucking there. Nothing has really changed. The Viscount is as slow to move as his predecessor was. His lover will do nothing to help the mages there or the poor.” 

“Luce, Morrigan warned. “This is not--”

“This is, mother. This is why I’m here--to right these wrongs,” Lucen said with surety. 

“Maker above.” Fenris glanced at his husband then to Lucen. “Do you hear yourself Luce? You can’t fix the world single-handedly.”

“Uncle is right, just please calm yourself Luce, let’s talk about this before you start planning to take over.” Leto asked in a bid for peace.

“No,” Lucen said. “I‘m tired of people not letting me make my own choices. There’s nothing to talk about. In fact, I know why all of you just want to talk and talk to me-- you’re afraid of me and none of you have the power to stop me.” 

“Don’t go down this road, Luce,” Aedan warned. “Your mother and I taught you better than that.” 

“You both taught me that I needed to follow my heart and to protect those that can’t protect themselves. Now that I have the ability to, you want to stop me.” Lucen rose to his feet.

“Luce, there’s a difference between protecting and becoming a threat. Do you think storming into Kirkwall will change anything? They will kill you if you do that.” Fenris said tersely.

“They could try.” Lucen’s teeth elongated into fangs, scales erupting on his body, dark and shimmering in the candle light.

“Don’t do this, Lucen,” Aedan begged. 

“They won’t love you for it,” Anders added, his words rushed. 

“No, Lucen….please.” Leto stumbled away from the table in surprise.

“I’ll come back for you, Leto,” Lucen swore, his voice guttural. 

“Stop!” Rhys cried in Elvhen. “Don’t make us throw you back in that cell.” 

“I dare you to try…” Lucen hunched over and wings burst forth from his back, tearing through his tunic. He let himself slip further into the abyss he had been teetering on for longer than he could remember, embracing that part of himself he had always feared. 

“Mythal save us.” Fenris said as he jumped back from the table and let his brands lit up. “Lucen… don’t do this.”

“Luce...love, calm yourself.” Leto was frozen in place partially from fear and partially in awe of Lucen’s transformation.

“I am calm,” Lucen said. “I’m calmer than I have been in a long time.” It was as if the moment his mother had said that Lucen was always destined to become a god that something had clicked inside him. He still might not have the control he needed, but he had a deeper understanding of himself now, one that had been eluding him his whole life. 

“We can’t fight who we really are,” he said. “It only leads to pain and anger.” He took a step back from the table towards the window. 

“Guards!” Rhys shouted. His markings ignited.

“No!” Aedan shot to his feet and held his hands up. “We can talk this through, Luce.” 

“Rhys no, don’t hurt him.” Leto turned to his uncle with fear. “Uncle, please do something.” 

“I can’t Leto, let him go if he wishes. Or protect him if you must.” Fenris made no move to stop the young mage, he knew it would do no good.

“Then let me come with you, to keep you safe Luce.” Leto asked as he approached the other boy. “Let me help.”

“Thank you.” Luce slipped arm arm around Leto and backed up to the window. As the guards burst into the dining hall, Lucen tripped backwards out the window, his wings snapping open.

“No!” Aedan screamed. 

“Mythal keep you both.” Fenris whispered.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders crosses a line, and all hell breaks loose.

“We’ve got to get to Kirkwall,” Anders said. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. “If he wants to right wrongs, that’s the first place I would go.” 

“You heard him, he’s going for Cullen and Invictus. Let me get my armor, and I will be ready to take you.” Fenris rubbed at his forehead with a grimace. “Or...maybe I need to sit down for a moment.”

“You need rest,” Anders said. “You’re in no condition to fight, let alone take anyone anywhere.” 

“Cadewyn and I will go and warn the Viscount,” Rhys said. “He might not go there right away.”

“But...my nephew.” Fenris protested even as he fought to stay upright.

Anders led Fenris over to a chair and sat him down. “You need rest, damn it.” 

“I’ll rest when they’re safe.” Fenris tried to push back and rise but he was still out of it from his injuries and transporting people. 

“Stop,” Anders said firmly. “Rest now. You won’t do them any good if you can’t even stand. I’ll get you up in a few hours.” 

“I’ll send Cadewyn back with news,” Rhys swore. 

Fenris turned away and nodded sullenly, irritated at himself more than anything. “Good luck.” he muttered tersely.

Daer came over and nudged at her older sibling. “Come on, let me help you to your room.”

“Don’t let him talk you into taking him anywhere else,” Anders warned.

“Well I can’t teleport so that’s easy enough uncle. Go on, I’ll make sure he rests.” Daer said as she got Fenris to his feet and headed for his room.

“I’m not a child, I don’t need a minder.” Fenris sniped

“But you do need someone to help you put one foot in front of the other right now, so shut it brother.” Daer snapped back.

Without a word, Rhys and Cadewyn disappeared in a flash of light. Aedan was already marching towards the door when Morrigan and Zevran stopped him, pulling him back into the dining hall with hurried, whispered words asking him for calm. Anders felt lost, overlayed with guilt. He had been the one to push Lucen into acting so rashly. If only he had held his tongue and not… 

He shook his head. No… He was going to fix this. Silently he turned and slipped out of the dining hall. 

**  
Fenris remained terse and silent until Daer had helped him to his room. He crawled under the covers and turned his back to his sister. 

“Promise you’ll get some rest and not lay there sullen,” Daer said. Despite her tone, she gently straightened the covers so he was more tucked in.

“I’m your older brother, you don’t get to order me around.” Fenris replied as he curled further away from her.

“That’s cute you think that’s true. Now sleep so you can help us get those two idiots back. the Creators preserve me why do I always have to be the adult around here?” 

“Get out Daer, I’m not in the mood for your lip.” Fenris growled as he yanked the covers fully over his head to shut her out.

She wiggled her fingers at him in an unconcerned wave and left the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. 

**

Lucen would have liked to have been able to lie to himself and say that he had no memory of what he had done, but when he landed just outside of Kirkwall, his wings buffeting the dry earth before folding neatly behind him, he was keenly aware of every racing thought. 

He released Leto and then turned his inhuman eyes towards the walls of the city, his lip curled back away from his fangs. 

“Love, what is it you wish to do? Where do we start?” Leto asked as he watched Lucen and where his gaze seemed to travel.

“Kirkwall…” Lucen growled. “The city still has not found its way and I want to show it to them.” 

“How? What do you need me to do to help?” Leto asked as he gazed towards the city along with his lover.

“Stay with me,” Lucen replied. “Stay with me while I go and demand the Viscount actually care for his people.” He held out his hand for Leto to take.

“As you wish love, I’m with you for this.” Leto took his hand with a brief squeeze.

**  
The door to Fenris and Anders’ chamber burst open and Anders came striding in, his robes swirling around his ankles. “Love! Wake up, we need you!” He went over to the window and sharply drew back the curtains. 

The elven warrior turned over and sat up with a snarl. “I was finally, deeply asleep. What is it?” Fenris scrubbed a hand over his face tiredly.

“Lucen marched into Kirkwall and right up to the Viscount’s Keep. right now there’s a standoff between him, the templars, and the city guards before the great doors of the keep. Cadewyn just returned a moment ago.”

“Oh for fucks sake...of all the things he could have done why that.” Fenris said as he got up and started pulling on his armor.

“According to Cadewyn, Lucen said that ‘The Viscount has let down his people’.” Anders opened a chest and began to fill the pouches at his waist with potions.

“Right now Rhys is the only thing preventing the templars and the guards from ending him right there.”

“Dumat save us, or better yet Mythal.” Fenris said as he pulled down the sword gifted to him by his patron deity. “I have a feeling I’ll need this today.” He slipped it into it’s harness before he took a moment at the altar he’d set up to Mythal in their rooms. He’d hoped not to invoke her, or need her but it seemed as if that was not to be. 

“Cadewyn’s already taking people into the keep.” Anders retrieved his staff from its rack and slipped into the leather hold on his back. “They’re in the main hall of the keep. Can you get us there?” 

“Yes, one moment.” Fenris took a moment to retrieve his amulet before offering his hand to take Anders off to the Keep. “Ready when you are love.”

The second Anders’ fingers slipped into Fenris’ hand they disappeared.

**

Lucen snarled at the templar in front of him, watching in satisfaction as the man broke his rigid stance for a moment to flinch. The courtyard in front of the great steps that led to the Viscount’s Keep was deserted, everyone having fled as Lucen had made his way up the large hill to Hightown. No one had tried to stop him as he had marched to the keep. They had scrambled out of his way, some of them screaming in terror. A few, brave guardsmen had tried, but Lucen had dispatched them quickly. It had taken what little willpower he had left to not outright kill them, and staring at the templars who blocked his way was making his control fray.

Leto stood with his lover, his brands bright in the remaining sunlight. “Get the Viscount, and tell him to stop cowering with the First Enchanter.” he said to the nearest guardsman.

“No one will be fetching the Viscount,” one of the templars said. He raised his sword. 

“Mind that blade, templar, we have no patience for your threats today.’ Leto warned.

“And we have no patience for creatures who demand the presence of the Viscount without stating his intent,” the templar shot back. 

“I’m here to right the wrongs done to this city,” Lucen stated simply.

Fenris stepped out of the keep to see their stand off, and frowned at the scene. “Lucen, Leto...what are you doing?” 

Lucen glanced over the line of guards and templars to meet Fenris’ eyes. “What I said I would. I’m going to make sure that the people of Darktown and the mages of Kirkwall take their rightful place in this city. I’m going to call the Viscount, the Knight-Commander, and the First Enchanter to the carpet for allowing Darktown to even still exist when they could help those people. I’m going to make sure that the mages of Kirkwall are living in absolute freedom, instead of a parody of one.”

“Those are fair charges.” Fenris said as he stared down his ‘nephew’. “However, do you wish to make them fear you or work with you?”

“Join us uncle, let us show them why they are being judged.” Leto called out.

“Bring out the Viscount,” Lucen added.

“You are a demon,” one of the templars said. “And we will not allow you to touch the Viscount.” 

“He’s no demon, stand back, templar.” Fenris said as he lit his brands and approached them. 

“Do not do this uncle, I thought you were with us.” Leto warned

“He was never with us,” Lucen growled. “He was only ever with you, Leto.” He gave the templar a patronizing smile when he did as Fenris had asked, stepping back into the line. 

“Not true Lucen, not true at all.” Fenris replied as he moved towards them slowly so they both could see his hands were not at his sword.

“It is true, Fenris.” Lucen tilted his head to the side, considering. “Ultimately your loyalties will always be divided, but you love Leto like your own. But if you will not help us, then you must stand aside.”

“You say that as if I have no love for you at all. What is it you wish of me then Lucen? I will help but I will not stand idly by while you destroy the city. Do not make yourself a villain, use your power for something greater.” 

“I am,” Lucen said simply. “I’m only doing it in a way that none of you like. If you want to help then bring out the Viscount and his lover. Bring out the Knight-Commander. Bring all of them to me.” 

“What is it you wish with them Lucen? I’d know that before I do anything further.” Fenris asked as he halted, curious as to what they could be up to.

“You’re stalling us uncle, you’re not here for either of us.” Leto cried out.

“No one is bringing anyone out to you,” Anders called from behind Fenris. he pushed past the guards and came to stand beside his husband. 

“Lucen, you’re drunk with power, letting it dictate the things you can do.”

“You’re wrong, Anders,” Lucen snapped. “For the first time I’m in control. For the first time I’m not afraid. Mother was right when he said that I was always supposed to become this.” He held up a clawed hand. “I was always supposed to become a god.” 

“Maybe, but the gods left us a long time ago for a reason.” Anders took a step forward. “They did it because we mortals needed to learn to walk on our own. If you are a god now, then you aren’t a benevolent one, but a tyrant who would rather force us to be what you want us to be.” 

“And what’s your answer, Anders? to cajole the masses into treating people decently? To make political bargains that they will renege on once your back is turned? What had your years of fighting for mage freedom gotten the mages? Why are the alienages still in most of the cities of Thedas? There are still slaves in Tevinter, an open secret that Sirad can’t quite rectify. My own mother is still treated with scorn as a witch and a whore. If none of you will fix any of this, then I will.” 

“Lucen, where … where are you getting that Morrigan is looked down upon? She’s respected all over Thedas for her work with Aedan. You’re mad with power, look at how you speak to us.” Fenris replied.

“Where’s your support gone uncle? With the next wind that blew past once you saw what power Lucen has?” Leto sneered at them, his expression malicious as he stood tall with his partner.

Anders began to walk in a slow circle around Lucen, keeping him in his sights. “Leto, you are just as mad with power, seeing that your lover is the answer to problems that aren’t there.

“I know that you’re angry, Lucen, I know about the fights you used to get into with the other boys about Morrigan. I know how you struggle with who you are, and what it means to live up to your father’s legacy. I know how hard it can be to find yourself against the large shadow Aedan casts, but what you are doing, what you want, it isn’t the answer you are looking for. It will only consume you. Not because of the power, but because trying to live up to another’s expectations will always be a losing battle.”

Anders’ hands were clenched tightly at his sides, his knuckles whitening. 

“You would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Anders?” Leto said with a devious smile.

“Mind yourself Leto, and watch what you say to us. You’re drunk off his power, your brands are glowing even in daylight.” Fenris said as he let his hands rest at his side for the moment.

“Sometimes, people will surprise you and do what you least suspect,” Anders told Leto. He held up his hand, showing the dripping blood on his palm and removed the pin that he had been pushing into his flesh. 

“Sometimes you have to do something daring.” He drew a knife and slashed at his palm in one fluid motion, uttering a word of magic and igniting the blood droplets he had left in a circle around Lucen.

Fenris’ mouth fell open in shock at his husband’s action. “You….you would do this? Blood magic?” he whispered as he backed away from them.

“In a way,” Anders said. he couldn't look at Fenris, not yet. he would deal with the fallout when it came.

Lucen roared in anger and moved to rush at Anders. He slammed into a wall of power, his claws scrabbling at the air.

“You!” 

“Me,” Anders said. 

“But you’ve always told us never, ever to use blood magic. How convenient that you show us why you wanted to keep the power to yourself. You’ll pay for this maleficar.” Leto screamed in rage as he prowled the circle that had been put around them. 

“Who did you bargain with, Anders?” Lucen snarled. “What did you give of yourself in order to do this?” 

Anders’ lips thinned, and he crouched down in front of the circle he had created. “You are an Old God, Luce. Your magic is more ancient than maybe even Arlathan. So is blood magic.” He glanced up.

“This was my doing. I was the one who fought with you, and I was the one who pushed you both. I’m going to fix it.”

“You … resorted to blood magic, of all things.” Fenris’ voice was wild as he backed away from Anders in shock. 

“It’s the one thing no one thought to look at to help him,” Anders said as he began to smear his blood across the smooth marble of the street. There was so much more he wanted to tell Fenris, to explain his reasoning, his thought processes that had led him to this path, but a sinking part of him knew that any explanation wouldn’t be heard, not now. 

“Whatever you're doing, it won’t work.” Lucen punched his fist against the barrier.

“We will shatter this and when it comes down, you will pay for your treachery, Anders.” Leto snapped as he tried to phase through the barrier but was pushed back.

“The barrier is made from magic and my own life force, you can’t shatter it easily.” 

“Blood mage!” one of the templars cried. “Stop! You will not foul this place with your magic!” 

Anders’ shoulders stiffened, but he ignored the templar, his fingers painting sigels. 

“Anders...you, used your life force? So if they shatter the barrier, you’ll die?” Fenris said tightly as he stared at the blond mage in a mix of horror and shock.

“Guess he doesn’t love you that much, uncle.” Leto laughed as he resumed his pacing.

“Or maybe I think I’m a powerful enough mage to hold you,” Anders said flatly. He rose to his feet.

“Blood mage!” The templar called again. “You have one more chance to comply or we will force you.” 

“They’ll do it, Anders,” Lucen said. “They’ll take you down like they have trained their entire lives for. The only reason they haven’t yet is because they know who you are.” 

“Touch him and you die templar, I will reckon with Commander Anders.” Fenris said with a hitch in his voice as he pulled his sword to level it at his husband. “Anders...stop this at once before, before...we have to… deal with your blood magic.” 

Still Anders couldn’t look at Fenris. He shook his head sharply and reached behind him to pulled his staff free.

“Stop him, Fenris,” Lucen pleaded. “Stop him before it goes any further.” 

“As your commander, I order you to stop this Anders...as your husband, I beg you not to go down this path...please.” Fenris asked as he advanced on the blond mage.

Anders finally paused. “I can help him. I know I can.” 

“No good can come of blood magic, you know this Anders. Do you want these templars to fucking smite you? Do you really want me to have to subdue you, like this?” Fenris asked again.

Anders finally looked at Fenris, their eyes meeting. “I love you so much,” he whispered. 

Power flooded the courtyard, a darkness that exploded outward with the stench of blood. In the center Lucen began to scream in rage.

The doors to the Viscount’s Keep burst open and Aedan came running out with Morrigan and the others behind him.

“Luce!” he screamed, pushing past the mobilising templars, who drew their weapons as one to rush at the mage.

Fenris dropped to his knees as the force of Anders spell hit him. “No...no, no...this is… wrong!” he screamed before he started to collapse backwards in agony.

The chaos that reigned was over far more quickly than it had any right to. Lucen hadn’t lied when he had told Anders that the templars knew what they were doing and would take him down quickly. When the magic cleared, both Lucen and Anders were collapsed on the ground, a ring of templars around them both. Even if Anders hadn’t given a lot of himself to the spell he had cast, there was little he could have done to withstand the smites that had rained down on him.

Fenris was only dimly aware of those around him. He couldn’t shake the ringing in his head, or figure out why he tasted blood on his tongue. He barely got to his hands and knees before he threw up and collapsed once more.

Leto groaned as he rolled to his feet and saw Lucen and Anders out cold in the street. “No...he can’t be.”

“Move!” Aedan bellowed. He shoved aside a few templars and dropped to his knees next to Lucen. 

“He’s still alive,” he said, relief flooding through him. He glanced to the unconscious mage. 

“What did you do, Anders!” he cried, even though Anders couldn’t reply. 

“We will find out,” one of the templars said. “Until then, my lord, you need to bring your son with us. Both must enter into the custody of the order.”

“This is my son and that man is a Grey Warden,” Aedan hissed. 

“And he practiced blood magic openly,” the templar replied. “We will not allow that to stand. He must be taken in.” 

Fenris opened his eyes and turned to stare at the templars. “No, Wardens are not beholden to the Chantry. I’m his Commander, I’ll deal with him.” with far too much effort for his liking, Fenris got to his feet, went over to his husband and sighed. “What in the void will I do with you?” 

Two flashes appeared next to them. Cadewyn took the arms of Fenris and Anders, while Rhys took Leto, Aedan, and Lucen.

“I will return to speak with your commander and the Viscount,” Rhys assured the templars. “We thank you for your assistance in this matter.” 

With that, they disappeared, leaving a bright, fading light behind.

They all reappeared in Arlathan in the great hall. Fenris stumbled away from them with a terrified stare at Anders. “I...need to go.” he rasped before he teleported back to the Villa in Minrathous out of familiarity rather than it being the best place to return to.

The elvhen who had once been known as the Architect, rose from the seat he had been waiting for them in. He took one look at the unconscious Anders and his blood covered hand before he turned to Rhys.

“Did it work, brother?” he asked.

“What?” Rhys whispered.

“Did the spell that Anders performed work?”

Rhys rounded on his brother. “What did you do, Kolvar?”

“I answered Anders’ questions,” he replied simply. “Now answer mine. Did it work. Is the boy contained?” 

“What do you mean contained?” Leto asked as he made his way over to the older elvhen prince. “What did he do?”

“He did what the magisters of old had done,” Kolvar answered. “He dared to contain a god.”

“What does that mean? Why did he have to use blood magic?” Leto looked around, wondering where his uncle might have gone. “Where is Fenris?”

“Abandoned his lover when he saw what he had done,” Kolvar said unconcerned. “I had tried to warn Anders.”

“You will explain yourself, Kolvar,” Rhys demanded. “But first we need to get Anders into a cell and Lucen secured.” 

“If you wish brother, but there is very little to tell. I just hope Anders succeeded.” the older elvhen moved out of the way so they could move the other men to their cells. 

“I’ll stay with Lucen, I’d rather he not wake up alone.” Leto said softly.

**

Lucen’s eyes snapped open and he sat up with a start. He groaned at the sudden movement and bent over, clutching at his head. “Wha…” he mumbled. 

“Easy, you got hit with a powerful spell.” Leto said as he slipped over to Leto’s side.

“I’m…” Lucen glanced around. “I’m back in my room.” He slowly laid back against the soft bed. 

His brow furrowed. “I feel strange.” 

That was when he finally noticed his hands. He pulled them away from his face, turning them in the light. “I’m me again…” 

“Yeah, looks like whatever Anders did worked.” Leto took his hands in his and smiled. “How does it feel to be back to yourself?”

“I… I don’t know,” Lucen said honestly. “What did he do?” 

“Blood magic, and he got the spell off before half a dozen templars hit him with Holy Smite. Fenris collapsed and then he left when we got back here, I think seeing Anders do that broke something in him.” Leto caressed his lover’s face gently. “I’m not too concerned with him at the moment, I just want you to be better.”

“I’m so sorry,” Lucen whispered. “About everything.” 

“Worry about it later, for now let’s show them that you’re awake and I’ll bet you’re hungry.”

“I love you,” Lucen said. He brought Leto down for a kiss. “Thank you for staying by me. I don’t know… I don’t know what i would have done if I had been alone.”

“You’re stuck with me, and no need to thank me for sticking by you Luce.” Leto kissed him again, then offered his hand so they could find Aedan. 

**  
Anders paced the length of his cell, counting the steps it took to get from one end to the other. At least as far as cells that he had been in in his life, this one had the comforts of a real bed, table and chairs, the illusion of freedom. He had woken up in the bed, with Aedan on the other side of the door explaining that he was going to have to stay there for a while, thanking him for helping his son, while condemning how he had done it.

Anders had told him he couldn’t have it both ways.

He hadn’t asked where Fenris was, he already knew the answer to that.

**

Fenris had curled up in front of the fire with a bottle of Nevarran rye whiskey and no glass. He turned his head at the flash of light behind him but didn’t speak. 

“Do you want Anders to die?” Cadewyn said bluntly. He had never minced words with Fenris.

“No, but he’s done a good enough job of acting like he gives not one damn about his own life by what he did out there.” Fenris took another drink as he listened to Cadewyn come around the chair.

Cadewyn crouched down in front of Fenris. “You and I both know that the Grey Wardens have done things up and including blood magic that would have gotten them destroyed by the Chantry a long time ago. But that was done behind closed doors. Your Anders performed blood magic in front of the templars of Kirkwall, and the city guard. He won’t speak of what demon he has dealt with to get his power, and as it turns out, he had gone to Kolvar in order to get the spell that he used, a spell that none of us know what it did.”

“Morrigan believes that what Anders has done is more dangerous than he realizes, but she is a mother who has gotten her son back, and doesn’t care as to the why.”

“He did blood magic, Cade, fucking blood magic.” Fenris whipped the bottle into the fireplace in a rage. “All...everything between us and he used blood magic.”

“And he saved Lucen and Leto from a mistake that would have seen many dead. Already corruption is in him, Fenris. If you wanted to cut ties with him, I’m not sure there are many who would blame you. You and I both have seen the horror of blood magic. I, in war, and you when you were a slave.”

“He knows, Cade, he fucking knows...and he still used the power of blood. I don’t care what the outcome was, how could he do that?” Fenris asked angrily as he tried to keep from lashing out too much at the other elf.

 

“I don't know, and he’s not answering any of us,” Cadewyn said softly. 

“Why are you here? Come to drag me back like a whelp? Lecture me?” Fenris asked wearily.

“To make sure you were alright,” Cadewyn said. “To keep you company if you needed it, and to appraise you of what was happening. I also wanted to know what you intended to do with him. You’re his commander, but already Aedan is being petitioned by the templars to hand Anders over to them.”

“I don’t know, I don’t fucking know. I don’t even know if I can look at him right now.” Fenris replied. “Aedan is First Warden, his authority supersedes mine anyway.”

“Come back with me.” Cadewyn rose to his feet. “Talk to him. He won’t speak to any of us.” 

“And say what to him? He betrayed me, fucking used blood magic in front of me when he knows all I’ve suffered from maleficar.” Fenris got up, his gait unsteady from the drink and his exhaustion.

“The bond between you two… Kolvar said that Anders would have had to sever it first. Did he?” Cadewyn watched Fenris, unflinching. 

“Not sure, can’t tell while I’m drunk.” Fenris said tiredly.

Cadewyn gave him a short nod of understanding. “Then if you don’t mind I’ll stay and we can speak again in the morning.” 

“I don’t care, do what you want. I’m going to bed with a bottle. Leave me alone.” Fenris grabbed a bottle of amber liquor on his way to one of the guest bedrooms, once he found he couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping in their bed alone.

Cadewyn rolled his eyes. “I’m done with playing nice then.” Fenris was quick, but he didn’t have the centuries of training that Cadewyn did. In a series of flashes he had the bottle out of Fenris’ hands, and the other elf teleported back to Arlathan.

Fenris pulled away from Cadewyn with a snarl. “How dare you?”

“I dare, my lord, because although you hold rank in Arlathan, I am still Captain of the Light Warriors. There is an unknown threat sitting in the dungeon, and I need to know what we are dealing with. Aedan might be comfortable to let the templars sit on their thumbs, but I for one would rather they not get angry enough to try and come here to take Anders. We also do not know what he did, or how he did it. My duty is to my people, my king, and my city. You are the only person that can get answers.” Cadewyn crossed his arms over his chest.   
“You...I won’t forget this, my captain.” Fenris turned headed down to the holding cells so he could get answers. He entered to find Aedan had sat across from Anders cell with a look of determination.

“Leave us, I need to speak with Anders.” Fenris said with barely a hint of how angry he was.

“Anything you can get out of him, I’ll want to know,” Aedan said flatly. He rose from the chair and turned to leave. 

“As you wish Commander.” Fenris said tiredly as he took up Aedan’s vacant seat. 

“Go away, Fenris,” Anders said from a dark corner of his cell. “I don’t wish to speak to you either.” 

“Too bad, you pulled one hell of a stunt and considering our history together, you fucking owe me. Since you cut our bond to do it, you really owe me. Now you can talk to me, or I will get answers out of you one way or another.” Fenris stalked over to the bars and slammed his hands against them in rage. “You fucking cut our bond, for what?” he demanded.

“So he couldn’t use it to get to you,” Anders said tonelessly. “You are a far tastier morsel than I am.” when he stepped out of the shadows the magical lamps illuminated Anders’ greying skin and the dark circles around his eyes. 

“What did you do? Anders… what did you do?” Fenris said in shock.

“I promised myself to the first demon I could think of that I knew would have the kind of power that was needed, a demon unlike any other. I got what I needed, Lucen will be safe now, but my balance will come due.” He rubbed at his bloodshot eyes. 

“Now go away, Fenris.” 

“No, I will not go away. What did you do Anders? You … you… oh Maker, what did you do?” Fenris slid to his knees and let his head hit the bars with a loud thump. “Anders...,why, why did you do this?”

“Because we ran out of time, Fenris.” Anders began to pace. “We ran out of time and I had been looking at this all wrong. What is Luce? What did Morrigan say he was? He’s an Old God reborn. The Old Gods are the provenance of Tevinter, and when I realized that… it came to me. They breached the Golden City at the behest of the Old Gods using blood magic. It meant that there had to be more to it. It was Kolvar who gave me the spell I needed. he was the one to explain to me exactly what the magisters did, how they gained the power. Death of a Light Warrior and the power of a god were what they used to get into the Golden City. They had the means to trap and contain the Old Gods, they’d done it before. So that’s what… So that’s what I did.” 

He stopped pacing and turned to the bars. “I pushed Lucen. I had to fix it. People were going to die.”

“You’ve given yourself to a demon, and you are changing already. What will your death mean in all this? You’d abandon ...you’ve, you…” Fenris trailed off as he tried to wrap his head around what Anders had done but he couldn’t. the elven warrior started to cry as he stared into the dark corner where Anders voice came from. 

“Go, Fenris,” Anders all but pleaded. “I’ve hurt you enough.” 

The warrior didn’t hear his husband’s words, he sat there, slumped against the bars for a moment before he began screaming out his grief at the loss of his other half, his heart. Fenris screamed until the pounded on the doors to the cellblock.

“Go, Fenris,” Anders said again. “And tell Velanna that she was right when she said her friend can be seductive with his whisperings.” 

“I’m not leaving you...I’m not.” Fenris said as he dragged himself to his feet reached through the bars towards Anders. “Come here, come here, please.”

Anders shook his head and took a step back. “No.” 

Fenris let his markings light and was straddling Anders in a moment. “You look me in the eye and explain why you sacrificed us Anders. You fucking tell me why you let that demon in? Tell me…” Fenris screamed as he shook Anders by the collar of his robes.

“Because Luce and Leto are like sons to me as much as they are to you, and I couldn’t let them die when I could stop this madness,” Anders rasped. 

Behind Fenris the doors to the cell burst open and several guards came pouring in along with Cadewyn and Aedan.

“Bullshit, that’s bullshit. As long as I’ve known you, you’ve railed against demons and blood magic. I don’t believe this, I won’t. I’ll fix this Anders… you’re not doing this to me, you’re not.” Fenris was almost incoherent after that as he shoved the blond to the floor. “You’re not leaving me like this dammit.”

Anders never got a chance to reply. Aedan was hauling Fenris off of Anders, while guard ringed the mage to hold him on the ground and keep him in the cell. Aedan wrestled with the elf, Fenris’ arms flailing wildly as he screamed for Anders.

“Let me go, let me go Aedan. I’m not done with him...Let go.” Fenris screamed as he tried to get out of Aedan’s arms. “He...he...let me go.” the elf flailed against the human warden’s grip even as Aedan carried him out of the cell block and towards great hall where everyone was gathered.

“I’m sorry, Fenris,” Aedan whispered harshly in his ear. “I’m so sorry.” 

Fenris sagged in Aedan’s arms, his hoarse cries slowing down to choked sobs and pleas for this to be wrong, to be some terrible dream. 

From inside the cell there was a bright flash. Aedan kept his grip on Fenris, hauling him back down the corridor and up the stairs.

The elf quieted and let Aedan carry him into the hall. He stared ahead as he was put down into a chair and held there by his friend. Fenris looked blankly ahead, suddenly quiet and withdrawn.

“Fenris?” Aedan said sternly. “Fenris! Wake up, damn it.” 

“Not asleep, stop yelling at me.” Fenris replied quietly as he glanced at Aedan before he resumed staring at nothing.

“You’re checking out so yes, you are for all intent asleep. I need to know if you’re leaving this in my hands, Fenris. Because Maker help me… My solution will make no one happy.” 

“What’s your solution, Aedan?” he asked with no inflection, nothing to show he had anything left in him.

Aedan shook his head. “Do you want to help him?” he asked instead. 

“What do you mean by help? I want him to have not done this...I want him whole again so I can scream at him for the next twenty years about how stupid this was.” Fenris replied tiredly. “Just say it, I don’t do well with hemming and hawing, you know that Aedan.”

“And I don’t do well with seeing people I care about--” Aedan snapped his mouth shut and scrubbed at his face. “Sorry. Look, we might be able to go in and get the demon out, but I’ve already done this once before to save Velanna and we barely made it out that time. If this is the same demon…” 

“So I need to go back in the Fade is what you’re saying?” Fenris asked.

“Yes, and that I’m not sure what we’re going to find there, or even if we… We might need to take drastic steps in order to help him. we can’t let a demon with that kind of power have control of a mage like Anders.” Aedan began to pace the room.

“So does that mean killing him in the Fade and leaving him Tranquil in the waking world?” Fenris watched him pace as he considered the other options. “Or do we kill him and hope Sirad can bring him back whole and sane?”

“Tranquility might be our only option. We aren’t talking about an ordinary demon. Nate and I killed this one once. How it survived…” Aedan paused in mid step. “We need to find someone who knows more than we do about the Fade.” 

“That leaves Mythal or ...fuck me, no not him again.” Fenris snapped. 

“No,” Aedan said firmly. “We go to him for nothing. and I was thinking of Korval.” 

“Yes, the one who told him how to do this in the first place.” Fenris snarled. “If you must, then do so. I will wait here for you. I do not wish to see him lest I try to rip his head off.”

“Go find Morrigan, your sister and Velanna. Together they might have answers that Korval doesn’t.” It was less that Aedan thought that, and more he wanted Fenris to be with people who he knew might distract him, even for a moment. 

“Velanna is in Minrathous, I really don’t feel like fetching her right now. I will seek out Morrigan and Varania. If Cadewyn or someone else can get Velanna I would appreciate it.” Fenris pulled his ring off as he stood, and slipped it into a belt pouch as he rose.

“I’ll make sure to tell him,” Aedan assured him. 

“Tell him what Aedan?” Fenris asked quietly.

“Cadewyn, that you would appreciate it if he went and brought Velanna,” Aedan repeated. “I’m going to look for Kolvar. I’ll find you again in an hour.” 

“Very well, I will...I will go back to the cell if I can’t find them. He’s alone and I know he hates that.” Fenris replied as he slipped his hand back into his pouch to put his ring back on. “He cut our bond to do this, it’s not like it matters anyway.”

Aedan said nothing, but his eyes grew sharp. He turned towards the door. “One hour,” he repeated. 

“Very well.” Fenris waited for him to leave before he headed back down to the dungeon so he could sit across from Anders cell. Even if he had no words, he felt better by being there rather than with other people. He stayed there, legs folded, chin on top of his hands until he heard Anders call for him.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Anders finally said from the darkness.

“I know you hate being alone and in the dark.” Fenris replied simply.

Anders let out a bitter laugh. “You should leave me in the dark, love.” 

The elf uttered a terse “no” and went back to watching the dark corner where Anders had huddled himself away. 

“No?” Anders stood and strode over to the bars. He wrapped his fingers around the cool metal, and could feel the slight tingle of the anti magic. 

“This cell is the only thing keeping me from losing control, Fenris. I deserve this for what I did.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, if I want to sit here with you I will. Be glad you cut the bond, I don’t think you’d like to experience how I’m feeling right now.” Fenris replied bitterly/

“Be glad I cut the bond, because Vengeance would have loved you,” Anders snarled. “Right now I can feel him whispering into my mind.” 

Fenris stalked to the bars and snarled back at his husband as he slammed his hands against the bars. “I bet he would, but that would have been a sacrifice I’d have made for them. You took the choice from me, you...took yourself from me, from everyone who cares for you. Who loves you Anders, don’t you dare act like you did anyone a favor.”

“I know!” Anders shouted. “I fucked up, Fenris. I didn’t think. I just wanted all of this to end, for Luce to be back with is family and for everyone to stop arguing and keeping secrets.” He squeezed his eyes shut. 

“I knew one day my impulsiveness would be the end of me.” 

“Almost twenty five years ago, I fucked up and made decisions that affected both of us without consulting you. Do you remember that argument? That promise we made not to do that anymore Adelric Iefyr? Do you?” Fenris asked.

Anders looked at Fenris, really looked at him. He felt he owed his husband at least that much. “I do.” 

“Then tell me why you did this, why did you make a decision that breaks...that broke us?” Fenris’ voice hitched as he stepped back from the bars so he wouldn’t be tempted to reach through to touch Anders.

“Did you see Leto?” Anders asked. “He was about to walk into the Void for Lucen. They would’ve been the death of each other if I hadn’t done something. It would’ve killed you, Fenris.” 

“You took that out of our hands Anders. You...you, did the thing you have railed against since I’ve known you. That made you stand with Sirad as he took Tevinter, that you knew we all suffered as slaves. I saw him, do you think I was going to stand there and let him throw his life away? I wasn’t but you took that choice from all of us. Now … what do we do?” Fenris wiped at his face as he fell back into the hard chair left by the guard.

Anders didn’t flinch when he spoke his next few words. “Now someone needs to kill me before the demon takes me.” 

“How dare you ask that of any of us? Do you think I could bear to see you die from another’s hand or...Mythal take me, end you myself?” Fenris’ voice cracked as he jumped up to approach the bars again. “Tell me, Anders, how could you say that to me?”

Anders could hear the selfishness that had come out of his mouth, but he couldn't seem to make the words stop. “Then I’ll do it. This is my doing and I should be the one to end this.” 

“No you don’t get the easy way out of this. Stop fucking talking about dying.” Fenris screamed at him.

“What would you have me do!” Anders shouted.

“How about you stop feeling sorry for yourself and work to fix this,” Aedan said from behind Fenris. 

“Aedan...I…” Fenris wiped at his face as he turned around.

“Not you,” Aedan said with a small smile. “That idiot in there.”

“There is no helping me,” Anders said as he approached the bars. 

“After all this time do you really think I’m going to allow one of my friends sucumb to a demon without trying to stop it? We’ve saved people from demons before, and we’ll do it again. Pull your head out of your ass and think for a fucking second, Anders. I know you can do it, current behavior notwithstanding.” 

“What’s the plan?” Fenris asked sullenly as he faced his husband and friend.

“We go in, we fight the demon for control of Anders, and we get out,” Aedan said simply. “Of course, it won’t be that easy.” 

“You are not risking yourselves for me,” Anders objected.

“Head… Get it out of your ass remember?” Aedan chided. 

“You lost the option to argue with us when you made this stupid ass decision.” Fenris snapped. He turned to Aedan with a sad expression. “Here or in the infirmary?”

“We’ll need to wait a few days. Kolvar said we’re going to need your power to help us break into the Fade to reach Anders there. You need rest, Fenris.” 

“No!” Anders said and lunged for the bars. “Love, not you. I know what the Fade does to you.” 

“Believe me, it is bearable compared to what this is doing me...my heart.” Fenris rose to leave, but not without a parting glance at his husband. “I will never be the instrument of your destruction, I swore that to you and I will not break _my word_ Anders.”

‘And what if I don't want your help?” Anders’ voice had the tinge of the inhuman about it, a soft echo that reverberated. “I know you. You will only do as you have always done, hold me back while I should be completing important work.”

“Silence demon, you cannot lie to me even through him. We are coming for you, don’t get too comfortable. I’ll see you later Aedan, I need to think.” Fenris left the cell at a fast clip, bothered by the thing that spoke to him through his husband.

“You will be mine as well!” Vengeance called. “If not then I will kill you for daring to try and stop us!” 

Aedan kicked at the bars with a booted foot, causing the demon to jump back. “Remember me?” 

“You were there when I was much smaller than I am now,” the demon said. “I remember you forcing me from Velanna. But I am stronger now and won’t leave so easily.”

**  
Fenris slammed the door to the hall harder than he’d intended, which drew everyone’s attention to him. “Apologies for the door, if you will excuse me.”

“No need,” Kolvar said from his place by the fire.

Fenris whirled on his heel and stormed over to grab the other elf by his tunic. “You! You told him about that fucking spell.”

Kolvar’s shock of white hair fell over his eyes. “Anders came to me for help and I gave it to him. It worked, did it not? Lucen is contained.” 

“The cost was too high, I might lose him and you don’t even care.” Fenris screeched.

Morrigan who had been seated next to Kolvar rose to her feet. “Let him go, Fenris.” 

“If I told you I cared, would you even believe me?” Kolvar asked. 

“No, because if you cared you would not do this to me. You’ve disliked me ever since I came to Arlathan years ago. You care only for yourself.” Fenris’ knuckles turned white as he gripped the other elf’s tunic tight enough to choke Kolvar.

“That’s because when I look at you, I see myself and what I once was,” Kolvar whispered harshly. “But I would never have hurt Anders on purpose in order to spite you.”

“Liar…” Fenris flung Kolvar back into his seat and backed off, his breath came in sharp pants and he trembled in rage.

“You want a scapegoat for your anger, so you have picked me,” Kolvar said. “But I would never have given Anders the spell if I had known what sort of demon he would have summoned to himself. Anders is a strong mage, I thought he would be able to perform blood magic without a demon taking him. But I think Vengeance was waiting for such a chance. I miscalculated.” 

“You...miscalculated?” Fenris screamed as he advanced on the elf again, only to be cut off by Morrigan. “Your miscalculation may cost him his life, or worse...make him Tranquil, and that’s a fate worse than death for him. Your miscalculation...fuck you and your assumptions Kolvar. Fuck you.” Fenris didn’t fight Morrigan’s hold on him, instead he let them see his pain instead of hiding it.

Kolvar was silent before he nodded to himself, coming to a decision. “Then I will go with Aedan to fix this.”

“Kolvar,” Morrigan warned.

“No, he is right, this is my doing. I should help fix it.” 

“You will not come near him again, I don’t trust that you won’t fuck it up. Get out, get out!” Fenris rasped.

“You and Aedan could use a mage well versed in the Fade,” Morrigan said softly. “If not Kolvar, then take me.” 

“I can’t make that decision right now, Morrigan, please.” Fenris replied softly as he pulled from her and slumped into the first chair he saw.

“Then do not,” Morrigan shrugged. “But Kolvar and I shall help Anders in our own way. we do care about him, and he did save my son.” 

“I’m sorry I need ...I need to be alone for a while.” Fenris hurried out of the hall and towards his rooms but stopped himself, he couldn’t sleep in their bed. He slumped against the door, head in his hands, anger and grief on display for anyone who might have found him.

He only had a moment’s reprieve before boots came into his line of sight. “Come with me. You like like you need a drink, yes?” Zevran said softly. 

“Help me up...I’m, I need something.” Fenris said as he offered his hands to the blond elf.

Zevran helped Fenris to his feet, but he didn’t stop there. He wrapped his arms around the other elf and held him in a gentle embrace. 

“This is killing me Zev.” Fenris whispered.

“That is obvious, yes?” Zevran led Fenris away towards the assassin’s room.

“Why did he do this?” Fenris whispered brokenly. “I know what it must feel like when I rip the heart from my enemy, maybe this hurts more.” 

“Maybe it does because you are still alive, yes?” Zevran pushed open the door to his chamber and ushered Fenris inside. “Our loves are idiots.” 

Fenris sat down in the first chair he saw and tried to reign in his feelings but found he couldn’t stop the ache in his mind or heart if he tried. “That...thing spoke to me through him.” 

“I assume you told it to fuck off, yes? Demon always think they are clever, but they are base in their nature.” Zevran went and fetched two glasses of fine, Elvhen wine.

“Yes, but it was unnerving Zevran. It has him, and he...he gave himself to it to save them.” Fenris stared at the wine for a moment as if he wasn’t sure he wanted it. “Kolvar said he miscalculated...thought Anders was ...too strong for a demon to get him. His miscalculation might cost him everything.” 

“Mages never seem to learn that their miscalculations can destroy lives.” Zevran took a seat across from Fenris and sipped his wine. “But you will not let a mere demon have your Anders, yes?”

“No, but if we fail...I can’t….I can’t.” Fenris dropped his head and his hands and whimpered, actually whimpered over the idea of ending Anders if they failed in the Fade.

 

“Then it is simple--do not fail. Do not let a demon speaking through your lover’s mouth unnerve you from what must be done in order to save him.”

“You say that so easily, as if I can just turn my head and ignore what has been done.” Fenris hissed.

“Do not ignore it, but you know demons. They will say anything to get what they desire. You wish to stop it, so it will use Anders in order to make sure your resolve wavers. It is working, yes?” Zevran sat back in his seat. 

“Right now yes, I can afford to fall apart before we go into the Fade and fight it. It boasted Zev, fucking boasted about taking him.” Fenris ran his fingers through his hair in agitation as he sat there with the other elf.

“I wonder how many demons over the years have whispered to Anders in his dreams,and how many he has defied and turned down. I would imagine Anders to be a prize, no?” He took another sip. “But we are discussing a demon’s words, which mean nothing. Brag all he wishes to, he is still in a magically warded cell and does not have Anders completely yet.” 

“True enough, I should apologize. Here I am railing at you when you are trying to help me retain some calm. Forgive my anger, it is not meant for you.” Fenris took the wine finally, his movements slow as he tried not to take the whole glass in one long swallow.

“I pay no mind to your anger,” Zevran said with a wink. 

“Still, I should not take it out on you when you are trying to help. I made such a fool of myself in the great hall.” Fenris finished his wine and let his head rest on his crossed arms.

“Ah yes… you confrontation with Kolvar. I saw it all, but decided not to intervene. I do not trust him and never will.” 

“Why not?” Fenris asked quietly as he turned towards the blond elf.

“Because after all this time, we still do not know what part he played in the storming of the Golden City. We still do not know much about him except for what he had once been as the Architect. I do not trust a man with so many secrets that not even I can ferret out.” Zevran refilled his glass.

“I see.” Fenris sat up and tipped his glass over for a refill. “I don’t know what to do about the blood magic though. Regardless of where he got the spell, or his reasons...he still had truck with a demon and used that filthy power.

“That he did,” Zevran acknowledged. “You will always know him better than I will. Did you ever see this day coming?” 

“Never, not in a thousand years…” Fenris replied.

“Neither did I. Which begs the question, why did he do it?” 

“He said to make it all stop, to save Lucen. That can’t be the only thing that made him do this.” Fenris sipped his wine carefully as he pondered what could have driven Anders to take that step.

“No… It can’t. How long were you taken by Fen’Harel? And how long has this demon been speaking to Anders? It seems to have come very quickly when he called for power.” Zevran’s eyes were sharp. “Aedan has said that this was the one who had Velanna, yes? It would have known all that she knew of Anders. Of his anger. I do not believe this is the first time he has come to our mage.” 

“And this time was the thing that broke his resolve, his desperation called out to it for a change.” Fenris pondered.

“That’s what I believe,” Zevran agreed. “But I am not a mage, and I only have a cursory understanding on what a demon’s temptation is like.” 

“Perhaps I should speak with Morrigan about this or Varania. They would have a better idea of what mages deal with.” Fenris slumped into the chair and stared at the fire despondently.

“Be careful. Morrigan will not see what Anders did in the same light as you or I. Anders saved her son, and she has always had little problem with blood magic.” 

“Perhaps Varania then, she is my sister and if I fall to pieces it will not shame me as much.” Fenris sighed and turned to face Zevran again. “Will ...I, fuck all this time I still can’t just ask for comfort.”

Zevran rose and sauntered over to Fenris. He titled his face up with gentle fingers on his chin. “You may have it.” 

“I don’t know if I want to be held, kissed or what. I’m so messed up Zev, so hurt. Help me please.” Fenris begged.

“I can help you forget,” Zevran whispered. “But I cannot remove this hurt from you. I am sorry, yes?”

“I know...is that even the right thing to do as he sits alone in a cell, while we tarry here?” Fenris replied as he stared into the other elf’s eyes in search of an answer.

“Go to him,” Zevran said. “If you think that he can hear you with that thing taking him over, then you need to go, yes? Did you hear any of us when Fen’Harel had you?” 

“He can’t...he cut our bond for that fucking spell to work. I can’t feel him at all, but that thing...I cannot bear it speaking to me again today. Can I … stay with you and Aedan tonight?” Fenris leaned over and rested his head against Zevran’s thigh, grateful for the contact.

Zevran nodded. “Yes. Anything.” 

“Thank you, I’m so sorry to be like this. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t even spoken with the children since we’ve returned. They probably think I’m angry at them for this.” Fenris rose slowly and glanced at the door. “Do they even know about him?”

“They do. Keeping secrets has led to a lot of this mess, no?” Zevran helped Fenris to his feet. “They are being watched in case they decide to help Anders on their own.”

“I am afraid I will be angry at them for the wrong reasons, or that I’m just going to shut down soon. It’s too much, Zev, even when Fen’Harel had me, and after...I did not feel so, so destroyed.” Fenris didn’t know what to do with himself as he wavered between crying on Zevran’s shoulder, going out to hack at targets or sitting vigil with Anders despite his words.

“You... “ Zevran hesitated, but forged ahead. “You have not had much in your life. Too much was uncertain. Even though you know Anders loves you, that bond between you, created a reminder that even you could not ignore or lie to yourself about. With that gone, you are now left with the uncertainty, yes?” 

“Yes. The passage of years has made us closer than I ever thought possible, but that he would sunder our bond to do this, one forged in blood, tears and pain...it’s hurting me more than I thought possible. I can’t feel him and it’s killing me, Zev.” Fenris whispered.

“Then when we free our Anders, you take that bond back, yes? It is yours as much as it is his.” 

“If we can work things out, I’m still struggling Zev. Once he’s free I might need time to deal with the whole blood magic thing.” Fenris stretched and sighed. “Can we just get dinner sent to your rooms and maybe after a lie-in, I will feel like other comforts.”

“That sounds like perfection,” Zevran agreed. “I’ll go fetch us some food.” 

“I’ll just lie down until you return...thank you.” Fenris pulled off his boots and crawled on top of the covers weary as could be.

**  
“Do they really not keep the keys better secured?” Daer asked as she, Lucen, and Leto descended down to the dungeons. “You think they would’ve learned by now.” 

It was late into the night, and the three of them were executing their plan. Actually, it had been Daer’s idea at first, determined to help her brother’s husband, especially after Anders had done what he had in order to save her two best friends. 

“‘Let’s go into the Fade and free Anders’,” Lucen quoted. “Now that we’re actually going to do it, I’m starting to get nervous.” 

“Oh, don’t be such a whiney baby,” Daer scoffed. “Just remember that everything in the Fade is real and not real at the same time. You’ll be fine.” 

“Oh, that made me feel better,” Lucen whispered.

“Let’s just do this before someone comes down here in the middle of the ritual and causes more problems than we’re going to fix with this. Hope our parents don’t find us, I can imagine the screaming we’ll endure.” Leto said as he paced anxiously.

“We’re almost to his cell,” Daer said. “There’ll be two guards up ahead, so we’ll need to be quick. Leto, can you put them to sleep?”

“Yes, that’s the easy part.” Leto let power build in his hands as he approached.

“Halt! You don’t have permission to be down here,” one of the guards said. They both lowered their spears. “Turn around immediately.” 

“Like we care about that…” Leto smiled as he cast sleep upon the guards while Daer made sure they didn’t get hurt when they hit the ground.

“They never seem to expect magic,” Lucen mused as he stepped around the sleeping guards and towards the bars of Anders’ cell. 

The hair on the back of Leto’s neck raised as he approached the bars. “Anders…”

“Leto?” Anders asked from a darkened corner. “Leto, you have to let me out. They’re going to kill me if I stay in here.” 

“We can’t do that, but we’re going to help you.” Leto glanced to Daer as he slotted the key into the cell door. “Can we trust you?”

“Of course you can. Just open the door and let me out,” Anders pleaded.

“Wait…” Lucen cautioned.

“We know Vengeance is aching to be free, we’re not that stupid, Anders. Who’s in there really?” Leto asked before he let them in. 

The moment the door opened Daer and Lucen were on Anders. They slammed magic into him, pinning him to the wall with invisible bonds. Anders’ eyes flashed an inhuman blue and he writhed. 

“What do you children think you can do against me. You won’t hurt him and I will not leave,” he hissed.

Daer let Lucen be the one to hold Anders while she worked quickly to mark a circle in charcoal on the floor. With the door opened, magic could once again be used in the cell. Which while it was good for them so they could enact their ritual, it also meant the demon would start to quickly gain strength. They had a limited window to do what they needed.

When she was done, and gave Leto a nod. The young Light Warrior ignited his markings, causing the demon to half moan in pleasure, half scream in pain.

“The song… I can hear a song in you. Make it stop!” 

“Fuck you,” Leto hissed. 

“Lucen! Daer cried. “Now!”

Several things happened at once. The three mages pulled on the power of Leto’s markings, and Lucen dropped anders to the ground, effectively containing him in the circle. As their power rose, a voice called out from behind them. 

“What are you--” 

But Fenris never got a chance to finish. Power swelled and the four of them dropped to the floor too sudden for them to stop their fall, while Ander’s eyes rolled in his head. An ethereal hush fell over the cell as the five of them went hurtling into the Fade of Anders’ consciousness.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can any of them heal from what was done in desperation? Anders and Fenris have some hard choices to make, Leto and Luce have something to decide as well.

Fenris groaned as he opened his eyes to the hazy, not-quite-right haze that settled over the Fade. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“Not so much, brother,” Daer said. She bent over and held out her hand to him.

“Perfect timing, Fenris.” Lucen scanned the shifting horizon, the Black City ever in the distance. “You can help us.” 

“Help you? I should throttle all of you. What in the Void is wrong with you lot? Taking on a demon like this on your own? I am going to take you all over my knee when we get out of here!.” Fenris spat as he got to his feet. 

“Can I at least get some armor and my weapon?” he muttered crossly, even as his arms and armor appeared from the aether.

“That’s later,” Daer said with a dismissive wave. “And you forget, we have a god on our side.” 

“I’m not a god, Daer,” Lucen said. 

“Sure you are. And it didn’t stop you from coming with us, did it?” she asked sweetly.

“What is your plan now? Why shouldn’t I kill you all for this?” Fenris said crossly.

“Because getting in is easy, but getting out is hard, especially without a mage.” Daer glanced around for the first time. “Why does it look like we’re in Denerim?” 

“It might be because he has a history there. Let’s get going, and see where this demon leads us.” Fenris unsheathed his sword as they walked, unsure what was in store for them.

If it hadn’t been for the Black City in the distance, they never would have known they were in the Fade. It was always in the sky, unreachable, but ever present. The streets were populated, but Daer was able to walk right through people, ghosts who did not acknowledge them. 

Fenris was tense as they went, unsure where they were supposed to go, until he saw Anders...well Anders as he looked when they first became wardens, brash, golden and being chased by templars down the middle of town.

“These must be his memories, but why this, why so far back?” he wondered as he watched the younger version of his husband zig zag through the square.

As they watched, the younger Anders slipped between food stalls. His hands were quick as he snatched food and shoved them into the pouches at his waist. 

“Let’s follow and find out,” Lucen said.

“Come on, we don’t want to lose him.” Fenris took off after the fleeing mage, keeping pace until they turned down another alley and right into a cell block. “Maker’s balls...this must be Kinloch Hold.”

The sudden shift in surroundings did little to phase Daer, but Lucen was thrown off. He staggered and braced himself against the crumbling, stone wall. 

“What…” he muttered.

“The Fade will do that to you.” Fenris helped him stand before he started to walk down the hall, his gaze going from cell to cell in search of his husband. “He was ...in solitary if I recall correctly.”

There came a sudden screaming from the other end of the cell block, a fear filled shriek that chilled Lucen’s blood. “Please no,” he whispered.

“This has already happened,” Daer reminded him. “And this will be a twisted version, what the demon uses against us and Anders.”

“I’m going to tear that thing to pieces with my bare hands.” Fenris snarled as he moved faster towards the heavy metal doors.

“Remember, all of you,” Daer warned, “it will try to get a rise out of you. Don’t give it what it wants.” 

She sighed in resignation as the three men took off anyway. 

“Too late, besides...this is not your fight, leave this thing to me.” Fenris replied as he pulled the door open with nary a peep from the two templar guards.

“Uncle...you’re not alone, don’t take this on by yourself.” Leto said as he hurried to catch up to the older elf.

“Not now, Leto...not now.” was all Fenris said as he went to peeking through door slots to find Anders.

A hysterical laughter came from the farthest door. Someone muttered a joke to himself in Ander, his voice cracking in bitter amusement. One of the templars moved then, slamming his fist against the door. 

“Don’t you ever shut up!” he barked.

“Maybe if you spoke to me more then I wouldn’t have to speak to myself,” said the prisoner. 

“We’re not supposed to speak to him,” the other templar reminded his counterpart. 

“I will not break, I will not break.” Fenris muttered to himself as he approached the cell door, and opened it with no resistance. 

“Daer, can he hear us?” he whispered as he took in the mage’s bedraggled appearance. He was filthy, far too thin with a manic gleam in his eyes.

“I don’t know,” Daer said honestly, the three teens crowded behind Fenris. 

“Did I ever tell you two about the third time I escaped from the tower?” Anders asked. He rhythmically picked at a tangle in his greasy hair. “It’s a good one.” 

The silence from the two guards didn’t deter him. “It was glorious,” Anders continued. He began a rambling story, one punctuated with abrupt laughter.

“He’s filling the silence, isn't he?” Daer asked softly. 

“Yes, he’s always had good reason and I never understood...not like this.” Fenris muttered.

“Don’t falter uncle, the demon will win if you do.” Leto watched Anders try to work the knot out of his hair while he continued to ramble.

Lucen crouched down in front of Anders. “He’s always so picky with his hair too.” He waved a hand in front of Anders’ face, and the mage abruptly stopped speaking, his eyes darting straight to Lucen.

“Not real,” Anders mumbled.

“We are real, sort of.” Fenris said as he started to reach for the blond, but he was stopped by his nephew.

“No, he’s going to think we’re demons if he can sense us at all.” the younger elf cautioned. 

“He’s...so helpless.” Fenris whispered.

“Not helpless,” Anders rasped. “Never helpless again.” Power swelled in the cell.

“Shit…” Fenris back pedaled as his markings pulsed in response to the demon. 

“Stand your ground, this isn’t real remember?” Leto hissed as he let his brands lit as well.

Lucen, heedless of the danger, reached out with a hand now tipped in claws and lightly touched Anders’ forehead. Anders gasped in shock and the world shifted.

“The Archon’s tower,” Daer whispered as she turned in place on the marble floor.

“Question is, is this before or after Sirad’s ascension?” Fenris said as he looked around for a sign of his husband.

“Neither,” Lucen hissed and pointed towards the throne at the other end of the long hall.

On it sat Anders, but one they had never seen before. His blond hair reached his waist and he wore rich robes embroidered with gold and laced with jewels. An ornate staff was at his side.

“This just gets worse and worse.” Fenris sighed. He waved his hands over himself so his armor changed to that of Mythal’s favor, one he’d chosen in years past to show his favor from the All Mother. 

“Well...I dare say that’s more Vengeance than Anders on that throne.” Leto said softly.

‘What did you do to him, Luce?” Daer asked.

“I… I don't know. I just wanted to get past what was happening to him in that cell to the demon.” 

“And we found it,” Daer finished. 

Anders slowly rose to his feet, the butt of his staff striking the floor. “Bow before your Archon,” he told them. 

“You’re not my Archon, Adelric.” Fenris replied as he pulled his sword free. “Bow before your betters...Vengeance.”

“I am everyone’s Archon,” the demon laughed. “Anders and I will take Thedas by force, finishing what he started years ago, but instead of compromising with the leaders of Thedas for mage freedom, he will take it. He will never be afraid again, never have to see another mage put in irons for the sin of being born.” 

Vengeance slid his eyes over to Lucen. “A part of him died to see you caged. A part of him wallows in the power of being strong enough to contain you. That secret part of himself that has always craved power without limits.” 

His eyes then rested on Fenris. “The part that still has a hard time pulling back when he touches your markings. He’s always been twisted inside, it just took me to show him that by accepting it, he could reach his true potential.”  
“His potential is wasted on you, demon, so do not think I have hampered him. Now, are you going to fucking talk us to death or are you going to fight?” Fenris let his markings blaze as he started to move forward, eager to end the creature’s hold on Anders.

“No one will be fighting,” the demon said with a sly smile. Anders’ body suddenly jerked, and the mage looked up in confusion. 

“No… No, this isn’t what I really want.” His staff clattered to the marble floor, slipping from fingers gone lax.

“You have to fight him, Anders!” Daer called. 

“Fight Anders… fight that _thing_.” Fenris said as he watched the mage struggle against the demon’s hold.

“Come on Anders...this isn’t you, you can break it’s hold on you.” Leto said as he edged behind the warden.

Anders’ body jerked again. “Why fight anymore?” the demon said. “Look at what I can give you.” He pointed to one side of the room. There in the corner laid a bleeding, broken man, his eyes a mirror of Anders’. 

“Your mother thinks he is dead, but I can give him to you. Together we can find him, we can haul him in chains, show him how much you truly hate him and what he did to you and your mother. You can have vengeance, Adelric.” 

“Anders… no, you know that’s not right. You worked through this, you saved Kiara, you found your peace with this, remember?” Fenris approached slowly, his steps measured as he watched for any chance he was getting through to the mage.

A wave of the demon’s hand and another image appeared. One of the walls shimmered and disappeared. Off in the distance the Circle Tower of Ferelden burned, while demons swarmed the scorched ruins.

“We can make sure no one else will ever be put in a cell and forgotten again. You can have your vengeance and burn it to the ground,” the demon hissed. 

“Anders… don’t give in to that creature. You’re better than that.” Fenris pleaded.

Leto stilled as he waited for Vengeance’s attention to turn back to the others.

“Adelric the never wanted, Anders the weak. Anders the fool,” Vengeance taunted. “Will this be your legacy? Or will you use your power for something greater?”  
Anders suddenly threw his head back, his own voice escaping his lips. “Love, help me!” 

Fenris vaulted forward to grab Anders close. “Listen to me, you are not weak, you are better than this and you will win against this creature.

Anders’ turned wild eyes on his husband. “I’m so sorry,” he rasped. “I’m so sorry I did this.”

“Don’t give into despair,” Daer called. “He wants you to give up. He wants your pain!” 

“Come back to me, come back to us. Do not let it win...do not, love.” Fenris begged as he cupped the back of Anders head and held his gaze.

“I screwed up, Fenris. I screwed up,” Anders all but sobbed. “I don’t know if there’s any saving me from this.” 

“There is, and we will. We didn’t do all this to fail now. Fucking fight Anders, fight!” Fenris held him close, eyes dark with anger and fear. “You are mine, he can’t have you.” 

“I love you,” Anders whispered. “I love you.” 

His lips curled on a sinister smile. “But we both know love is fleeting, don’t we Fenris? All those who love you, leave you. Wouldn’t you just once like to have vengeance on them all?” 

Behind Fenris, Lucen called out a warning as demons erupted from the ground.

“No...you didn’ leave me, even when I deserved it and when you should have. You’re not getting him demon. Not one bit.” Fenris recoiled from the demon’s sneer with weapon drawn. 

“Lucen will be mine,” the demon said, his voice like silk. “Anders has already started the process. I can show him the way. I can show him how to control gods, how to break into the Black City. You cannot stop us, slave of u an ineffectual god. You wear her favors, but you do not know that you are a pawn in her games. Aren’t you tired of being a slave, Leto?” 

All around them, battle was engaged, but the demon and Fenris ignored the clash. 

“You don’t get to call me that, only he does. Mythal is no master to me, and I wear her favor with pride. Be gone from him creature.” Fenris sneered at Vengeance, eager to rid Anders of it.

“You are her toy. And I don’t think you understand what is happening here, Leto. You will not kill me, because you can’t hurt your love.” 

“I will to save him, it’s you that doesn’t understand demon.” Fenris grinned wickedly as he let his brands light up once more. 

“Oh?” the demon asked. A roar sounded from behind Fenris as a rage demon rushed towards them. But it wasn’t after Fenris. It was after Anders. 

“No!” Fenris whirled to take on the creature as it advanced on them, unheeding leaving Vengeance at his back.

The rage demon struck Fenris, racking burning claws along his face. The elf screamed, but didn’t move, acting a a shield for Anders.

“Stop it,” Anders gritted out. “Don’t hurt him.” 

“Then you know what you need to do to get it to stop,” Vengeance answered out of his own lips. “Give in, Anders. It will be so good between us.” 

“No!” Anders screamed. Power boomed out of him in a blinding flash of light, incinerating the rage demon.

Where once there had been one, now two Anders stood. They eyed each other, one with long hair and the raiment of an Archon, the other in warden blues. Two possible Anders depending on the choices he had made in his life, and would still make. 

“You’ll have to go through me to get to him,” Anders warned in a low growl. He moved to stand in front of the kneeling Fenris. 

“Very good,” Vengeance approved. “You were strong enough to push me out, but not completely. I will have you yet.” 

Without taking his eyes off of Vengeance, Anders carefully lowered himself to his haunches, his hand reaching behind him for Fenris. 

“Love?” He could still smell the sickening scent of burnt flesh and blood.

Fenris moaned and turned towards the sound of Anders voice. “An...Anders, is it you?” he rasped.

“I can’t heal you yet, love. Just hang on.” Anders grabbed at Fenris’ hand and squeezed tightly. 

“That him, Anders?” Lucen asked as the three teens walked cautiously closer, the demons they had been fighting smoldering piles on the shifting ground.

“Fenris!” Leto called out as he knelt by his uncle, his expression pained as he took in the older elf’s injuries.

“That’s him,” Anders confirmed. 

“Then when I say to, get everyone out of here. I’ll take care of it.” Lucen’s body began to shift, and for the first time, vengance looked frightened. 

“No...can’t leave anyone behind.” Fenris muttered as he tried to reach out for Leto, aware of him because of the markings they shared.

“We’re not, Luce is just going to use his powers to help. It’s ok, it’s gonna be ok.” the younger elf soothed.

“Anders,” Lucen’s voice came out in a guttural growl. “This is your Fade. This is what you make of it. I think… I think I can help you, but you need to shape and bend it to your will.” 

“This is his will!” Vengeance shouted.

“No,” Anders whispered. “It isn’t.” 

Leto gently brushed some of the bloody hair from Fenris’ forehead as he fretted. “Whatever you’re doing, might I suggest you hurry before he gets worse.” 

“What do you need us to do, Luce? I can shield us if need be.” Daer offered.

“Just… Just hope I’m right and I’m not about to kill us all,” Lucen whispered. “be ready, Leto and Daer. You might need to get them out of here if I’m wrong.” 

“Don’t fuck this up, cause if you die I’m coming back to kill you for being stupid, Luce.” Leto knelt, ready to haul his uncle out of there if need be. “Remember, if any of us but Fenris die in here we’ll be tranquil when we wake. That’s not a good idea for a second date.”

Lucen swallowed. “I’m not keeping us in the Fade… I’m going beyond it. You’ve… You and Fenris have been there, Leto.”

“Lucen,” anders warned. “What…” 

“We bring him to a place where he has no power,” Lucen finished. “And we start by you tearing down this illusion it built in your mind, Anders.” 

Vengeance sneered. “You don’t have the power, pretend god.”

“Mythal…” Fenris called out before he fell silent and still. 

That stillness was what gave Anders what he needed in order to rip apart Vengeance’s version of the Fade. The walls around them came tumbling down, disintegrating into an nothingness. 

“No!” Vengeance strode towards Anders, but Lucen inserted himself between them, his claws outstretched. “Leto, Daer! I need some time!”

“You got it!” Leto let his brands light up and started to approach the demon.

Daer was right next to him, her staff in her hands and magic building along her fingers. 

The demon snarled and lunged at them, it’s eyes flashing and it’s face twisting Anders’ features.

“Not today demon, not today.” Leto hissed as he let power build in his hands before he grabbed for the creature.

The demon screamed in pain, the sound reverberating unnaturally in their ears as Leto’s power ripped into it.

Fenris groaned and tried to get to his feet but wound up flat on his back instead. 

“You’re not having them, either of them.” Leto snarled as he tackled Vengeance to the ground and started to pummel him.

“Don’t move,” Anders whispered frantically. “Don’t move, love.” He forced himself to look at the partial ruin of Fenris’ face. “Maker forgive me.”

The Demon had forgone acting human, and snarled and snapped at Leto. Behind them, Lucen power had begun to build while he pushed against the Fade.

“I’m going to knock those fangs right out.” Leto snapped back as he let his power build with each strike.

Vengeance clawed at Leto’s wrists, but its hands were slammed back to the nothingness of the ground, vines wrapping around its forearms. 

“I don’t think so,” Daer tutted.

Lucen’s eyes rolled into his head and he craned his neck back. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. He was sorry for putting everyone in danger for him. he was sorry that what he was attempting to do might kill them all. But Vengeance was too strong, spurred on by Anders’ anger, an old creature of Justice who had been twisted beyond its purpose. 

And then everything was white.  
Fenris screamed as he felt pain lance down his head,through his chest and down the rest of his body.

Leto clutched at his head as he felt a high pitched whine get louder as they sat there. “Maker’s breath, what the fuck was that?”

Lucen let out a pained breath and fell to his hands and knees, the ruins of his armor and tunic falling to the empty ground. He stared sightlessly ahead, his body trembling almost uncontrollably. 

“I did it,” he said in a shaky whisper. 

“Love?” Anders had hauled Fenris into his lap, his hands hovering over the elf’s wounds. “Fenris?” 

“Mother...wait for me.” Fenris muttered as he reached past Anders and towards something only he could see.

“No,” Anders whispered. “No, no, no. Fenris! Fenris you can’t leave me. I’m sorry, love. I’m so sorry.” He leaned down and pressed his face into the elf’s neck, his body shaking as he began to sob. 

Lucen finally focused his eyes and turned them onto Vengeance. “You did this,” he hissed. 

“Papa...I’m sorry, forgive me. I’ll look over you.” Fenris moaned as he tried to open his eyes to stare in the distance, but found he could only open one. “Anders...I’m sorry love, I failed you.”

“My fault.” Anders’ voice cracked. “My fault.” 

Vengeance was stripped of its illusion, revealing itself for the twisted creature it was. It scrambled back as Lucen got to his feet and stalked towards the demon, his eyes red with fury. 

“You!” it said looking beyond Lucen.

“Yes, me.” Mythal laughed, her voice rough with anger as she strode over to her chosen one. “My, my, my...what has been done to you, my child?” 

“Help him,” Anders croaked as he lifted his head. “Please, I’m begging you. I’ll give you anything.” 

“You’ve had enough problems doing that Adelric. I will spare him because he’s mine, not because of your foolishness. His injuries though will be yours to cure. His continued life is his to enjoy.” Mythal knelt next to Fenris, her hand on his forehead and her eyes closed in concentration, Vengeance ignored as she worked on the elf.

Lucen crouched down in front of Vengeance and wrapped his clawed fingers around its throat. he rose to his feet, lifting the demon as if it were nothing. The creature clawed at Lucen’s wrists while its legs kicked frantically. 

“You are nothing here,” Lucen snarled. 

“While you are everything,” said a voice from behind him.

Daer raised her staff at the newcomer, fear in her eyes. “Fen’Harel.” 

“Oh come on.” Leto said tiredly as he glanced at the elvhen god.

“Ah my chosen one, you’ve done well. However, I’m more interested in this magnificent creature you call your lover.” Fen’Harel grinned as he approached Lucen and Vengeance.

Lucen didn’t take his eyes off the demon, but he spoke to Fen’Harel. “And you can just take your interest elsewhere.” 

“So hostile, I’m not after anything. I just came to watch because this is more fun than I’ve had in an age.” Fen’Harel grinned wolfishly as he circled them.

“Stop, make this stop, Fen’Harel. Please!” Leto begged

“After what you did to Fenris and Anders, never mind kidnapping me when I was a child, you’re lucky I don’t tear you apart where you stand,” Lucen warned. 

Vengeance had gone limp in his hand and Luce dropped the creature. It disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

“Why?” Daer asked. “Why did you help get rid of the Old God inside Lucen, only to try and take him later? You didn’t want an Old God to rise. You wanted a new one, didn’t you?” Daer had always been one for questions. 

“Me? I did nothing of the sort. But I think my presence isn’t wanted by your friend so I will take my leave before he destroys me as well. Unless Mythal takes that honor from him.” Fen’Harel turned and headed around the rest of the group, his pace slow and unconcerned for all that he was moments from being destroyed in Lucen’s rage.

“Wait!” Lucen called through gritted teeth. He knew that’s what the god had counted on. 

“No, not today Lucen. You’ll just have to wonder what I really wanted besides some much needed entertainment. You should take care of them and get them back before your father has some kind of panic and tries to follow you here.” Fen’Harel waved at them before he gestured behind him to open a panel.

“Not so fast, Dread Wolf, you and I will have words once they get home.” Mythal glared at the Trickster, her gaze dark and heavy. 

Anders had shut them all out. The danger of vengeance and whether it had passed or not, what was happening to Lucen, the way Leto and Daer had placed themselves between Luce and Fen’Harel, none of that mattered as he watched Fenris breathe in and then out again.

“Thank you,” he whispered, not knowing if Mythal had heard him. “Thank you for him.” 

Fenris’ face was still a ruin, and Anders began to take stock, shifting into a clinical mode in order to save what was left of his sanity.

“Lucen won’t help you to become what you once were,” Daer called after Fen’Harel. “He might be able to restore some of what you had lost, what the peoples of Thedas had lost, but it won’t ever be like it once was.” 

“That’s what I expected, not what I wanted but it’s better than nothing.” Fen’Harel muttered as he waited for Mythal as she advanced on him.

“Go, and take care of him Adelric. I will be watching out for him until he comes to my right hand. Until then, do not fail him, or them.” Mythal said darkly as she turned away from them, her ire focused on the other deity.

“Wait,” Lucen started. “We’re not just leaving it like this.” he whirled around on her. “What am I!” He held out a scaled hand. 

“Lucen,” Daer said softly. “You know. You wouldn’t have been able to come here like you did if you hadn’t. We need to go and get Fenris help.” 

“You are who you have made yourself to be, you have mastered the old God in you. Take care of your uncle, he needs your help far more than you need answers from me. He is still in need, so do not tarry here quizzing me, young Cousland.” Mythal gestured and a portal appeared behind them, to lead them from the in-between and back to the real world.

“Come on, Luce,” Daer pleaded as she tugged on his arm. “Let’s go.” 

She turned and gave Mythal a light bow. “Thank you for your help, mistress.” 

Lucen had blinked and then shaken his head. He turned and walked over to Anders and Fenris, scooping the elf up in his arms. 

“We need to go, Anders,” he said softly. “She’s right, Fenris needs help still.” 

Anders jerked his head in a nod and got to his feet. 

Fenris mumbled incoherently as he was picked up and carried through the portal Mythal left them. 

Leto sighed and gave one last glance at Fen’Harel and Mythal as they started to argue, their group forgotten already. “Maker let us hope your father hasn’t found our bodies yet.”

**  
Aedan had done more than found their bodies. He had his greatsword in a tight grip in a single hand, drawn and ready in case something had gone wrong in the Fade. His cursing started when the first of them opened their eyes, and only increased when they were all awake and Anders was following Lucen to the infirmary, Fenris in his arms. 

“All of you are in so much shit right now,” Aedan warned between his teeth as he stalked off, leaving Leto and Daer in the empty cell to follow Lucen.

“I guess I’ll get to see Luce when we’re thirty?” Leto said as he hustled down the hall to catch up.

“I’d say forty is more accurate the way he’s yelling.” Daer said as she ran towards the infirmary with him.

“Or fifty, fifty is probably accurate. Come on, let’s catch up, we just need to follow the Aedan’s voice.” 

**  
The moment Lucen set Fenris down in one of the bed in the infirmary, Anders was on the elf, his magic already going to work. 

“Fucking Fade and damned demon. I couldn’t access my magic. I couldn’t…” Anders let out a snort of self disgust. He shot a look at one of the Elvhen healer that had hurried over, and she gave him a short bow before backing away. This was his fault and he would be the one to fix it. Although trying to fix things had been what had caused the mess in the first place. 

_I won’t ever forgive myself for this_ , he thought.

Fenris muttered in Ander as he opened one eye to stare at Anders. “Is it...you?” he asked, voice roughened from the blood he’d swallowed.

“Yes,” Anders said softly, his brow furrowed in concentration. “We’re back in Arlathan.” 

“Good...I’m going to murder you when I can get up.” Fenris turned and spat before he fell to his back. “Everything hurts, can’t open my other eye.”

“Don’t try to right now,” Anders said evenly. He owed it to Fenris to not fall apart just yet. “It’s… There are some things I don’t have the power to do. Healing… Replacing a lost eye is one of them.” He did half choke on the last few words, but sucked in a shuddering breath to steady himself. 

“That demon then...it was real enough to do that to me?” he asked before he closed his good eye and scowled. 

“Uncle...it will be alright, I know it.” Leto tried to comfort his relation but stopped at Daer’s touch to his arm.

“Vengeance was powerful,” Anders closed his eyes, but forced them back open. “My anger gave him that power. “Do you remember Mythal? She… She saved your life, but the rest.. the rest she left up to me.” 

“Do what you can, I’m going to rest ...perhaps put me under, otherwise I won’t...sleep.” Fenris turned so he was comfortable and so he didn’t have to see the others in the room. 

Anders did as Fenris asked and then continued his work healing as much of the damage as possible. He ignored the others in the room, even when Aedan started to bellow at the three teens, the shouting sending the other healers scurrying out of the infirmary. 

“Ser Cousland…” Leto tried to get a word in edgewise, but Aedan was not going to be denied his ranting at them. Instead the young elven man just listened, partially in awe at the creative swears Lucen’s father came up with.

“I have seen some reckless bullshit in my time, but this far exceeds anything I have ever done!” Aedan shouted. 

“Father,” Lucen began. He snapped his mouth shut when Aedan leveled a look at him.

“Please, if you’re going to scream and yell at us could we do this where Anders isn’t trying to heal Fenris?” Daer said tiredly. She was exhausted and being screamed at was not her idea of a fun start to the day.

“Are you trying to tell me what to do? Should I give you the same courtesy as you gave me? As you gave your parents? Should I give you the fucking finger and do what I want anyway because I obviously know better and fuck any advice or concern for my safety! Anders needs to hear this shit too. If I thought for one instant he needed complete silence then I’d give it to him.” 

“I’m fine,” Anders muttered. 

Leto fidgeted, worried about how angry Aedan was and how neither of his friends being too concerned with that anger was worrying him even more. “We’re sorry, we just wanted to make this right after Anders sacrificed to save Lucen.”

“Have any of you fought to get a fucking demon out of a soul that had bargained with it? Any of you? I’m not a mage, but I’ve done it more than once and it is not a place for people who have no idea of what they’re doing to rush into. You wanted to help? Then you damned well could have come to me.” Aedan slammed a fist down on a nearby table. 

“And you’re not thinking, father,” Lucen said. “Maybe we were impulsive, but that demon would have killed you without us. You weren’t there. You didn’t see--” 

“Because none of you gave me the chance!” Aedan roared. “You rush off time and time again without giving one fuck about the people that love you. You fling yourselves into danger while we get to sit on the side and pretend we aren’t afraid for you.” He abruptly turned his back pon them, his hands clenched at his sides. 

“How am I supposed to protect any of you if you won’t let me?” 

“We’re not little kids anymore, Aedan. You can’t keep us swaddled in cotton and locked in a tower for the rest of our lives.” Daer snapped.

“I can see that, Daer. You have all made this clear to me.” Aedan moved towards the door. “I’m glad none of you were killed.” 

“Don’t be like that please ser Cousland.” Leto pleaded. “Can we go talk in the dining hall?” he asked as he nodded towards Anders and Fenris. “Give them a chance to talk, alone?” 

“We have nothing more to say,” Aedan told him. “I’ll go and inform your parents that you are back.” 

“Very well, we’re sorry for worrying you but not for saving Anders.” Leto stepped back and took Luce’s hand for comfort as he watched Aedan head for the door.

“No, you’re not,” Aedan said in a harsh whisper. “All of you have made this clear to me time and time again.” 

“Father,” Lucen called.

Aedan shook his head sharply. “Not now, Luce. Please.” 

“Later, love, we can talk to him later.” Leto whispered.

“I don’t think we can,” Lucen said in a pained mutter

Anders got to his feet and swayed. He steadied himself against the bedpost and stumbled over to a chair to slump down into it. 

“You go to your dad, we’ll sit with Anders.” Leto nudged him towards the door before he went to sit vigil with his ‘uncle’.

“I’ll check in with mum so she can see me for herself. I’ll be back with food for you lot.” Daer muttered.

Anders didn’t hear Daer or Lucen leave, and he didn’t noticed it when Leto pulled up a chair to sit next to him. He had titled his head so it rested against the backrest, staring sightlessly at the ceiling above him. 

There was a hole inside him now, he could feel it, one created when he had severed his bond with Fenris and deepened by Vengeance. He could still see the past and the future that the demon had shown him, and he knew, not deep down, but on the surface of a wound brought up by infection, that he had turned his back on everything he had professed to care about, not for any noble cause, but because he had wanted what the demon had whispered to him. 

That was his punishment he knew, to carry that knowledge with him, to look at Fenris and see what his selfness had caused someone he had said he loved. 

“There’s no going back from this,” Anders finally said. 

“Don’t say that, wait and see what happens after Fenris recovers. Or at least when you don’t feel like shit.” Leto advised as he watched the older elf’s chest rise and fall slowly, his face smooth in sleep.

The scarring on Fenris’ face was almost completely gone except the two marks that flashed across his closed eyelid. That had been the deepest, the one that had taken Fenris’ eye. It looked years old now, but Anders knew it wouldn’t make up for the loss.

“There’s doing things to piss off your lover, and then there’s doing blood magic, succumbing to a demon, severing a bond, and causing him to lose an eye.” Anders closed his eyes. “The templars were wrong you know.”

“No, I’m not going to sit here and help you wallow. Let’s get you cleaned up at least so you can not look half-dead when he comes around. Get up Anders, I’m tired and I’m not going to let you sit here and have some kind of pity party with me as your lone guest.” Leto pulled himself up and held a hand out for the older mage to take.

Anders didn’t open his eyes, and continued on as if Leto hadn’t spoken. “No amount of healing ability is worth the pain I have caused him over the years. Look at what I’ve finally brought him to.” 

“You are two nugs in the stew. He never listens to me either. Up, Warden, on your feet and follow me. If you don’t get up and out of that chair I will get Morrigan in here to yell at you and you never, ever want that, trust me.” Leto leaned over Anders, ready to pull him to his feet if he didn’t move.

Anders opened his eyes. “I don’t think you quite understand just how much your uncle hates blood magic, Leto.” 

“You’re right, but you know what I do know? He loves you, and he didn’t fight that demon or protect you for nothing. He was prepared to give a hell of a lot for you, so don’t make that sacrifice mean nothing by sitting here being pathetic. Now move Anders.” Leto growled as he grabbed the front of the blond mage’s tunic.

Anders found himself pulled to his feet by Leto’s Light warrior strength. “The templars were wrong,” he whispered harshly. “They shouldn’t have kept me alive for my healing.”

“No, we’re not doing this now. Save that for later, because I’m not letting you wallow. Are you going to keep this going, or do I just need to take you to Aedan or my father so they can get through to you?” Leto asked as he turned Anders towards the door.

Anders fell silent and let the young elf push him down the corridor and to the dining hall. “Sorry,” he muttered. 

“Save it for Fenris, not me.” Leto said as he led them into the hall just in time to catch Daer. “No need to bring anything, I got him down here.”

“Fenris shouldn’t be alone,” Anders suddenly said. “But he won’t want to see me. Someone will need to be there for when he wakes up.” 

“You’re going to be there when he wakes up, he didn’t do that to feel abandoned when he comes around.” Daer said as she slid a plate in front of him after Anders had sat down, Leto’s hands on his shoulders. 

He stared down at the food and mechanically picked up a knife. As he curled his hand around it, he glanced down at his other on top of the table and turned it over, palm up. There in an angry red line was the still healing slash he had made when he had performed blood magic. 

_I’m not going to heal this_ , he thought. He wanted yet another ever present reminder of his foolishness.

Leto dug into his food and stopping only to call for another serving. 

Daer noticed Anders actions but wanted him to speak first.

“You know what we’re most proud of with all of you,” Anders finally said around a mouthful of food. it wasn’t that it tasted like ashes, but more that it tasted too good and the part of himself that wanted punishment for the things he had done felt as if he shouldn’t be enjoying it. 

"No clue, so tell us." Daer asked after she nabbed another mug of tea.

“For Zevran it’s that all of you are quick to learn, and trust in yourselves. For Morrigan and Velanna, it’s your curiosity. For Your fathers, Daer, it’s the strength you all have.” Anders stared down at his plate. 

“For Varania and Fenris, it’s that none of you will ever know the pain and humiliation of slavery, and that they were able to give that to you. For Aedan, it’s being able to give all of you the sort of loving childhood he once had, one that wouldn’t be taken from you in blood and fire. And for me…” 

He swallowed heavily. “There are times when I think that the pain I went through in the dark of the circle tower had to be for a reason. I went a little bit insane during that time, and I don’t ever think I recovered. But if it wasn’t for that… if it wasn’t for what they did to me, I never would have gotten the courage to stand up to every single leader of Thedas and demand that mages be treated better. I’m proud that you are the first generation that know that freedom, and I think, that maybe it had been worth it after all. 

“None of you will ever know what it’s like to have someone you care about look at you like a monster, or flinch when you use your power. None of you will ever be dragged away from your screaming mother by templars, while your father who turned you in looks on in approval. None of you will ever have to hear the screams of terror of your fellow mages in the dark, and you smile, smile, smile through it because if you don’t then you will just be giving up one more thing to them.

“Aedan, Fenris, me, all the others, we want better than what we had for all of you and I…” Anders trailed off and buried his face in his hands, his body shuddering. “And I just lived up to the worse in myself. Something I promised I would never do.” 

What had started as something meant to tell them how proud they all were of them, had devolved into something else entirely, his psyche bleeding, his experience in the Fade too fresh.

Leto came around the table and put his arms around Anders, his voice low as he spoke. "We appreciate all that you sacrificed for us. When Fenris wakes up, and realized you're safe from Vengeance he'll be happy to see you." 

Daer joined in to kiss Anders on the cheek. "We were happy to help. Now let's get you settled by Fenris ok?"

Anders’ head jerked in a nod and he rose with them, pushing his seat back. “I owe him enough to not run from him and hide from whatever he wishes to say to me.” 

"Good, now let's go." Leto sighed as he grabbed another ale and headed back to the infirmary.

When they got to the infirmary it was to find Fenris awake and covering his face with his hair that had grown too long over the past few months. Anders pressed his lips together to prevent the sound of dismay from escaping, and retook his seat by the bed. 

“Hey,” he said softly. 

Fenris stilled and glanced at Anders. "Hey, yourself. I don't suppose there's an eye patch around here?" he asked quietly.

"I'll go ask for you, uncle." Leto took the chance to give them privacy.

Anders waited until they had left, firmly shutting the door behind them before he spoke again. “Any pain?” he asked.

"Not really, I'm hungry though." Fenris hedged unsure what Anders was going to say.

“I… I’m sorry, Leto. I’m sorry that I did this to you. I’m sorry I resorted to blood magic, I’m sorry for everything.” Anders found himself stumbling over the words, but he pushed them out anyway.

“You knew. When we first met and I told you that I wanted you, you knew then what I would become, and you were right.” 

Fenris glared at him for a long time before he spoke. "That's not true, you were desperate. You wanted to fix things, granted you took the most fucked up option possible but you meant to do well. I didn't face down two demons for someone I thought was hopeless. I'm angry, sad and hurt but... You're free of Vengeance. So at least that's something. Where do we go now? " he asked.

“That depends on you,” Anders said honestly. “I cost you an eye, Fenris. I betrayed your trust. I will fight for us, as I have always fought for us, but I’m afraid.” 

“Afraid of what? That I will leave you? Leave the wardens or Arlathan? Afraid you’ve broken things beyond repair with us, Aedan, Zev and the others?” Fenris sighed as he kicked the blanket away. 

The elven warrior went to the basin, peered into the looking glass; and grimaced at how filthy he was, and the scars that marred his face. “Can you get me a towel and soap, or help me to the bathing chamber? I’m filthy and it’s bothering me. We can continue the conversation in there.” Fenris glanced at the mage, unsure whether they could survive their latest misadventure. 

Anders silently got to his feet and joined Fenris at the washbasin. He looked at the two of them in the mirror together, Fenris with his scarred face, and Anders with his gaunt one, and his expression almost seemed to collapse in on itself. But he sucked in a shuddering breath and slipped an arm around Fenris to help him towards their bathing chamber.

"After we're cleaned up, I'd like to get something to eat. Do...do you think we should go to the hall?" Fenris asked as he slipped out of his filthy clothes and dropped them in a basket for a servant to take.

"If... If you feel up to it," Anders said quietly. "Don't push yourself, love. You're still recovering." No matter what he was feeling, Anders would always be concerned about Fenris' wellbeing. If the elf had his way, he'd never see a healer for anything.

"I'm starving and I'm sure after a bath I'll want food. I don't want to hide away in our rooms, well... I do but it won't change anything Anders." Fenris sighed as he dumped water over his head so he could wash his hair.

"Everyone knows by now what I did to you," Anders said as he sat down on a stool near the tub. "Hiding won't change that either. Neither will pretending that any of this is okay."

Fenris glanced at Anders, his expression uncertain as he watched the blond mage fidget and pull apart a washcloth he'd picked up. "You...did not, you... fuck Anders."

"You didn't attack me, and I made the choice to defend you from that demon. It hurt like hell, but when hasn't there been hurt for us? I love you, and even though I am angry and ..." Fenris paused, unsure of the words he wanted as he tried to explain why he wasn't screaming and yelling, or had thrown his ring at Anders and gone back to Minrathous.

"Oh, but I did. I did this to you, love. I'm the one who put you in the position of being hurt. It was my anger that have the rage demon its power. It was my need for revenge that gave Vengeance what it needed. It almost killed you, and if it hadn't been for Lucen, Leto, and Daer, it would've done succeeded. I'm not going to pretend this didn't happen. Pretending that things aren't happening is usually a specialty of mine. But look where that got me."

Anders spread his arms. "Denying my nature it seems."

Fenris growled and pitched the wet washcloth at Anders head in frustration, annoyed with how it missed by a mile. "I've stuck with you for damned near thirty years. I stayed after all the crazy shit that's happened between us so this isn't going to make me leave. Besides, I'm going to need help until I learn to compensate."

"So you accept it, accept what people say and do but you will not wallow and pretend as if you irredeemable. You didn't let me do it, and I will not allow you to do so now." Fenris got up and grabbed for a drying cloth, annoyed at himself for missing that too. "Help me, please." he muttered.

"You and I both know the demon wouldn't have had anything to latch onto if there hadn't been anything there." Anders stood and handed Fenris the drying cloth, steadying him as the elf wiped himself down after stepping out.

Once he was dressed in a clean set of clothes, Fenris pulled Anders to him and got in his face. "I won't have to do anything to you will I? You're too deep in your pit of self loathing to even see what it's doing to others. You can't fix that I lost my eye, but you can fix how we see you, treat you and I will be damned if I faced down Vengeance and that rage demon for nothing Adelric Iefyr. You will get yourself together. Now come on, I need to eat. We can talk more afterward." Fenris held his hand out, unsure if Anders would even take it.

Anders swallowed audibly and took Fenris' hand. "The things it showed me. I'm... I'm having a hard time not believing..." He was back in the dark screaming and laughing. He was a child again, hiding from his father. He was the Archon and no one could touch him. Power was his to wield and it was heady.

"Let's go eat," he finally said.

"That thing tried to seduce you with power, and I saw it first hand. Let's just get some food in me, that's all I can think of right now. Well and how I am going to be tired of walking into things until I readjust." Fenris squeezed his husband's hand as he let himself be led down the hall.

Anders tried to push everything the demon had shown him away, concentrating on the feel of Fenris' hand in his. This was real and present, not the illusion and past of the Fade. He had to remember that, he'd seen mages come back from their Harrowing demon free, but never the same after the things they had been shown. If Anders' Harrowing had been like this, he didn't think he would have refused the demon. His younger self would have leapt at the chance for revenge.

Fenris was quiet until they'd gotten into the hall, and he had a full plate in front of him. He didn't want to think about the scars, or the fact that he didn't wait for a patch and they all would see as he inhaled the first meal he'd had in almost a day.

Anders didn't eat, but he sat silently next to Fenris. He could feel the eyes of the others on them.

Leto dropped a black leather patch by Fenris then slipped away to find Lucen, his heart a little sore over the way things had gone with Aedan. Fenris glanced at the patch then picked it up and handed it to Anders. "Would you mind?"

Anders' fingers trembled slightly as he slipped it over Fenris' head and ties it securely. A thousand jokes came to him when he lowered his hands, but he kept his silence.

"Thank you." Fenris finished his meal then sat back to look at everyone else as they tried and failed to not sneak glances at him. Instead of letting them gawk, he went right up to the other table and joined them, thankfully with Anders at his side.

"So, just spit it out already, I can practically hear whatever joke Zevran is struggling not to say." He turned to Anders with a slight smile, his expression serious but not deadly. "Besides, I think I'll keep him so don't give Anders too hard of a time."

"I think it's dashing, yes?" Zevran said with a toothy grin.

"I suppose you'll try to get me to be a pirate next?" Fenris said lightly. "Where's Aedan?" he asked.

"Aedan is showing some practice dummies just how displeased he is," Morrigan said primly. I'm sure they are very intimidated. "

"Mother," Lucen sighed. "This is no joke. He's so angry with me."

"I do not make jest, it's the truth." Morrigan said lightly.

Fenris scowled briefly then glanced at Anders before he rose. "Come, I would speak with him before we get back to our conversation."

"That might not be a good idea," Lucen warned.

Anders' eyes darted from Lucen to Fenris.

"Why not? I want him to see I'm up and about, and I just want to see him. Unless you mean taking Anders?" Fenris asked warily.

"I mean talking to him at all right now," Lucen clarified. "He's already snapped at everyone at this table, even Zev."

"Fine, because I don't have the patience to deal with him snapping at me anyway. I'll be back for dinner, hopefully I will get a chance to speak with you three then?" Fenris glanced at the door, curious as to who it might be.

Anders closed his eyes in resignation when he saw Lethander come striding towards them.

Fenris' expression hardened slightly in remembrance of the last time he'd seen his father, the screaming and fighting that had wardens pulling them apart before he'd run off to Kirkwall. He stared at the older elf, suddenly quiet as he awaited what Lethander could have to say.

Lethander took one look at Fenris and his face crumbled. He strode the rest of the way over and leaned down to embrace his son.

Fenris returned his embrace and leaned against his father in relief. He'd been worried about their last time seeing each other. "Hi papa, what brings you here?" he asked softly in Tevene.

"A warrior came and got me. My son is injured, my daughter getting into trouble..."

"I'm better now...sort of." Fenris said as he leaned back and gave Lethander a real smile. "Where's Daer and Velanna?"

Leto had sat with Lucen and they were huddled together chatting while the others continued to talk.

Lethander sighed. "Talking about Daer's future. She wants to return to Merrill and the clan."

"Well, hopefully she will make a good decision." Fenris glanced over to Anders before he reached for him. "Will you be here for a while? I need to rest, as well as finish a talk with my husband."

"As long as it takes to make sure you and Anders are recovered and to find out what Daer has decided," Lethander assured him.

Anders' mouth had gone dry when Fenris had taken his hand so publicly.

"Alright, I'll find you after dinner so we can ...speak about what happened last time we saw each other, I do not want that between us if it can be helped." Fenris gave Lethander an awkward hug since he had Anders other hand twined with his.

"I don't either," Lethander whispered in his ear. "But we're family. We may fight, but we always eventually forgive." He had been speaking to Fenris, but his eyes were on Anders, the mage's already pallid skin paling further.

"Thanks papa, I'm happy to see you here. Can we talk later then? I do need to rest, even a nap would be good." Fenris asked him, glad they were going to clear the air between them.

Lethander nodded and moved back to take an empty seat.

Anders for his part got up and held out a hand for Fenris.

Before they could leave, Morrigan called out to Anders and spoke to him in Ancient Tevene.  
Lucen glanced over to her sharply. "Then tell him outright, mother"

"If you need to speak with Anders, I can have papa take me back to my room." Fenris offered.

"She told Anders that she doesn't know how he's still standing," Lucen clarified.

"Fighting a demon in your soul, healing horrible wounds, these are not small things," Morrigan said in Trade.

"I'm fine," Anders said through gritted teeth. "Let's go, love." He turned to the door.

"She's right you know." Fenris said as he followed Anders out towards their rooms.

"No she's not," Anders said quietly. "I'm fine.”

"You're not fine, I'm not fine and they could see that a mile off. You look like you're going to collapse any moment and I feel like I am. So cut the bullshit love and talk to me." Fenris said as they entered the room. He made his way to the sideboard, carefully got glasses and a bottle of whiskey.

"We survived, and I have a feeling this conversation is going to require strong drink. So here." he nudged a half full glass of Nevarran White Rye towards Anders and slowly made his way to the table.

Anders gave a short, shake of his head. "I don't think..." He sat down and knocked back half of his drink.  
"You don't think what?" Fenris countered as he grimaced at how Anders had taken such potent liquor in one go.

"I'm not a good man, Fenris." Anders held up his hand to forestall any objection.  
"Hear me out, please. I mean, I'd always know that, but not to this extent. I have a lust for power in me. You can't deny this. I might try and shirk off responsibility, but when it comes to true power, to true magic, I always want it all. There have been signs over the years, things I shrugged off or ignored, but looking back I can see its always been there."

Fenris sipped his drink as he considered Anders words. "Alright, you have a lust for power. You think I didn't when Fen'Harel had me? You think I didn't when I watched you as Warden-Commander? What does that have to do with our future? What do we do, as husbands, and wardens to go forward? That's what I need from you Anders."

"I've seen and experienced things that few Circle trained mages ever have." Anders took a drink, but this time it was smaller, more measured.

"My place is with you, it always has been, but I can't keep pretending that the things I've done and seen don't matter. Your forgiveness is everything to me right now."

"My forgiveness will come, sooner than many expect but it will come my love." Fenris sipped his drink as he pondered what to do with his husband, and their future. Finally he wrapped his arms around Anders and pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw.

"I love you, and that hasn't stopped. It will be work to trust you again, and not flinch when I see you use your power or curse when I trip or run into something because of how I have not yet adjusted to my loss. But I'm with you until the end of the line. I've stuck around all this time, I'm not going anywhere. The question is, will you remain at my side?"

A tear slipped down Anders' cheek. "When I first saw all of you in the Fade, I was so humiliated and thankful. You saw me in the dark and the loss of my sanity. That's..." Anders closed his eyes.

"But you were there all of a sudden and I remember thinking 'This isn't real. If Fenris had really been there, if I had had him with me in this fucking place, maybe I wouldn't have fractured part of my mind'. Your fear of me destroys me each time," he admitted.

"What will you do about that fear? The Fade is terrifying but I went, albeit this time before I was ready, but I was willing to do that for you, because I love and trust you. If I didn't mean that, if I truly feared you as I have magisters? I would have let Aedan kill you and walked away from all of this. So I ask you again, going forward, from today, what do we do? How will you fix things with us?"

Fenris took a longer pull of his drink as he waited for an answer.

"How do begin to fix and rebuild your trust?" Anders asked. "I severed our bond. I can repair it, but it will never be what it was. But do you even want a connection like that with me again? How could you trust I wouldn't abuse it?"

"You didn't abuse it before, and the fact that you cut it rather than chance Vengeance getting to me speaks to your integrity. My trust in you....is damaged, not broken but it is damaged Anders. It's more because you did blood magic, and let Vengeance in. You're here now, and healed so we just take it one day at a time. Once I'm better, we can talk about how to reestablish the bond, and any issues that could come of it. Is that fair?" Fenris asked as he squeezed Anders again, glad to hold him in his arms again.

Anders glanced down at his palm and the angry red line that bisected it. "I understand. Thank you."

Fenris took his hand, and ran his fingers over the welt while he considered what had happened. “I guess I want to know what tipped you over, what made you accept Vengeance? That’s what is bothering me, so tell me Anders, what was the final straw?”

“Everything,” Anders said honestly. “Everyone crosses lines in order to do the right thing, but what have I ever done? I sit in the infirmary and wait like a good little circle mage. I cringe at the thought of doing magic that shouldn’t even be thought of, much less spoken of. I’m a glorified healer who knows his way around a library while those with more balls and steel in t spine do what I won’t.”

Anders’ fingers clenched on top of the table. “I had an answer and I took it. If I’m being honest with myself, it was for my own vain glory than anything else. I’m the one who could stop what was happening. I’m the one who Lucen and Leto would never suspect, because I’m Anders and I don’t do blood magic.”

Fenris dragged his nails over the welt before he glanced up at Anders with a grimace. “That’s bullshit, and sounds nothing like you. The truth Adelric, and don’t sit there and talk about how you were a good, docile mage. I’ve seen you lead and that man was never quiet, or sat around like a circle mage. Don’t fucking lie to me, not now.”

A muscle in Anders’ jaw twitched as he gritted his teeth. “Because he’s been whispering to me for years,” he finally gritted out. 

“So it took what ten, fifteen, twenty years for you to break?” Fenris asked again as he traced the welt repeatedly while he awaited Anders answer.

“I didn’t realize it was the same one,” Anders whispered. “I thought… I thought I was getting older and so the demons were coming to me more in my dreams. But when i finally said yes to it, that’s when i realized it had been the same damned one all this time.” Anders clutched at his head. “I still don’t know what is me.”

“Do you need help? Or are you going to let it beat you after all that we went through to get Vengeance out of you? Are you still my husband? Are you still the man I’ve fought for all these years? What is it you want Anders, to give in or give up?” Fenris rubbed his thumb in lazy circles across the back of his husband’s hand as he considered where they could go from there.

“Don’t give up on me,” Anders pleaded. “I… I just need time to sort my head out. The things I say seem true to myself, but at the same time I can taste the lie.” 

Fenris sighed and leaned back to really look at Anders. “Very well, I won’t give up on you but you can’t do that to yourself either. We’ll take it one day at a time, and we’ll both fuck up before we get back to a good place.” 

Fenris stood quickly, his mind racing over what they faced while he considered everyone else they had to see and talk to before things settled. “You rest, I’m going to find my father.”

Anders squeezed Fenris’ hand. “Don’t let me do anything stupid, and I promise to tell you if I’m going to.” 

“Assuming I can catch you before you do something stupid, you’ve got a deal.” Fenris reached up to kiss Anders on the lips, his gaze tired but fond. 

“I’m sorry,” Anders murmured against his lips. “I will make this up to you, even if i have to spend the rest of my life doing it.” 

“You can start by talking to the kids, and Aedan. Assuming Morrigan doesn’t fuss over you worse than a mother hen for saving Lucen.” Fenris gave him another brief kiss before he tried to leave, and ran right into the door. 

“Perhaps, you can escort me to find father since I can’t judge distance right now.” Fenris muttered tiredly. “Fuck that hurts.”

Guilt stabbed into Anders, but he didn’t let it show on his face. The last thing Fenris needed from him right now was pity. He got to his feet and slipped his hand into Fenris’ in order to led him out into the hall. 

“Don’t pretend you are not flagellating yourself for this. It’s a temporary setback love, not permanent. I’d rather admit I need help than knock myself out being stubborn.” Fenris said as they walked, his fingers tightly grasped Anders.

“Being guilty and trying not to show it is one of my best characteristics,” Anders tried to joke. He winced. “Sorry. Shouldn’t have said that.” 

“We have to work on your delivery, but I understand what you meant.” Fenris gave him a grateful look as they walked together, glad that they’d come out of it alive even if he’d been hurt.

Anders lifted Fenris’ hand to his lips. “Thank you for saving me from my own stupidity. There are those that would have killed me to get it over with.” 

“I’ve gone through too much shit to do that to you. And my heart would have shattered to be the one to end you, if you could not have been saved from Vengeance. You’re stuck with me, like it or not.” Fenris kissed the cut across his husband’s palm as he stared meaningfully at him, held his gaze as they stopped in the hallway unwilling to look elsewhere.

“Can... “ Anders stumbled over his words. “Can I heal this?” It was important to him that Fenris be the one to give him the permission he couldn’t give himself. 

“You should, do not ask me for such things Anders. It ...reminds me of the past, and I would not be the one to hold such power over you. Heal it for yourself and so you can retain use of that hand, you’ll need it for healing.” Fenris let go so his mage could heal himself.

Anders gave him a short nod, and a choked sound escaped his lips. He cradled his hand to his chest and healing magic filled the air. 

Fenris gave him a smile in return then took his husband’s hand to press a gentle kiss to his scar-free palm. “Better?”

“Better…” And a small part of Anders other than his palm was healed. he thought he would always question the things that Vengeance had shown him, the parts of himself that Anders didn’t know were real or not, but Fenris needed him, and what they had together was more real than anything else in his life had ever been. 

“Good, now let’s find my father so I can get that overwith. You should eat something and talk to the kids.”

“And then I have some explaining to do to the First Warden,” Anders said in resignation. 

“You should talk to him as your friend, not so much as the First Warden, unless he keeps the conversation formal.” Fenris said as he looked around for Lethander.

Anders nudged at Fenris’ side. “He’s over there,” he said, pointing to one end of the dining hall.

“Wish me luck.” Fenris meandered over to his father, and hugged him close. 

“Hi papa, feel up to talking?” he said as he let go.

Lethander picked up his wine glass and silently got to his feet. He nodded towards Zevran and Velanna before he led Fenris to an empty table.

He followed his father over, and sat down while he pondered the table for a moment. “So...how are things with Daer?” Fenris asked to break the silence.

“Not good,” Lethander replied honestly. “She wants to leave us and her mother seems to have no problem with it.” 

“What’s your problem with it? You know if you push back she’ll just go.” Fenris muttered as he wished for his own glass of wine.

“I know that she is young still and that I wasn’t ready for her to leave so soon. Maybe in a few more years…” Lethander trailed off. “But I’m foolish and wish to hang onto her the way I couldn’t…” _Hang onto you_ was left unspoken. 

“Papa...it will be fine. But don’t cling too tight else she’ll just want to leave all the faster.” Fenris gave him a smile before he tried to sneak Lethanders glass over for a sip of his drink.

Lethander shook his head and nudged the glass over. “I almost lost both of my children today.” 

“Daer isn’t dying, she’s fine. I’m not quite right but that’s always been the case.” Fenris took a sip then gave the wine back. “Let’s walk, I can feel them staring at me and it’s making my back itch.” Fenris glanced towards the door in the hopes Lethander took the hint.

Lethander drained the wine and got to his feet, following Fenris out. 

**Epilogue**

“Not sure this is the best idea,” Lucen muttered as he and Leto watched Aedan decimate yet another practice dummy, his greatsword bisecting it, the upper half falling to the dirt in a spray of straw.

“We can’t just avoid him forever, and better now than when he’s even angrier. Come on, let’s go over.” Leto said as he watched Aedan take out another dummy.

“You ever see him fight?” Luce asked as they edged towards Aedan. “I mean really fight and not the held back stuff he does on the practice yard. I really don’t want to end up in pieces.” 

“Yeah, a few times. I know better than to walk up and get in between him and the poor straw men. Let’s call him and hope he’ll hear us. If not, we wait till dinner perhaps.” Leto said as he headed over towards the First Warden.

“Father?” Aedan called. He made sure that he and Leto weren’t close to the massive blade in Aedan’s hands in case they startled him.

But the weapon halted in mid-strike, inches from the target’s throat. He turned his head slowly and lowered his sword. “Boys…” 

“Hello, ser Cousland, we were hoping you’d give up on those training dummies and talk to us?” Leto offered.

“Would you listen?” Aedan asked. He frowned at the bitter tone in his voice and turned back to the dummy.

“Father, please,” Lucen begged. 

Leto touched the small of Luce’s back as he spoke, hopeful it would calm his lover. “We’ll listen, do you wish to go inside or speak out here?”

“Here,” Aedan said flatly. He walked carefully to the weapons rack to the one side of the yard and set his sword down. The last thing he needed was a weapon in his hands. 

Leto steered them towards a bunch of hay bales so they could sit and talk, hopefully like civilized people. Once Aedan was with them, he gave the elder warden all his attention.

“I’m done,” Aedan said quietly. He stared down at his hands and flexed them open, his eyes absently cataloguing each callus from years of wielding a sword.

“Done? I don’t understand?” Leto said in confusion.

“I tried to let go sooner, I really did, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m always going to be your father, Luce, but it’s time I started acting as if I understand that you don’t need me like you used to. The same goes for all of you.” Aedan glanced up.

“The three of you have things more figured out than I did at your age. It took a kick in the balls in order to even get me down a road that even resembled acting like a fucking adult. I keep thinking none of you are ready for this or that. I keep thinking that you’re children and I have to protect you, but that’s not true, is it?”

“I’ll always need you, father,” Aedan whispered. 

“We need our parents, I mean I’m barely seventeen, Luce is older and Daer is the same age as I am. We’re not ready to just forget about you or say we don’t need you, ser Cousland.” Leto agreed.

“Aedan,” he replied. “My name is Aedan, use it. You’re not one of my wardens, and you’re with my son now. That entitles you to first name basis.” He slanted his eyes over to Leto. “Unless you break his heart… Then we’re back to ‘Ser Cousland, please stop hurting me, ser.’”

Lucen buried his face in his hands and groaned. 

“I’d rather rip out my own heart than break his, Aedan.” Leto replied with a smile. 

“Then we won’t have a problem,” Aedan said with an arch smile. He glanced over to the decimated practice dummies. “Shit… I’ve been out here all day, haven’t I?” 

“No one except Fenris wanted to approach you,” Lucen confirmed. 

“And you two,” Aedan said with a small laugh. He rubbed at his jaw, feeling the slight stubble. “Fuck I need to learn to deal with my feelings better. You guys scared the shit out of me.” 

“And you hate it when you feel helpless to do anything about it,” Lucen finished. “I know, father. But you can’t fix everything. Sometimes, you need to step back.”

“Fuck that,” Aedan snorted. 

“That’s where you get it from.” Leto said before he got a soft smack in the back of the head.

“I can’t promise to never freak out to get angry like this again. I can’t promise to never want to help you when my help isn’t needed or wanted, but I can promise to try.” Aedan’s body jerked in a start when Lucen wrapped his arms around his father. 

“You’re thinking too much about it. Let’s just go one day at a time.” 

Aedan titled his forehead so it rested against Lucen’s. Side by side like this, it was easy to tell how alike they really looked. “I’m frightened for you. Ever since… Ever since I let your mother walk away from me after the battle of Denerim, there hasn’t been a day that hasn’t gone by that I haven’t been frightened for you. What I did to save my own life was selfish, but it gave me you.”

Leto remained silent as he watched father and son together, a smile on his face as his heart lightened at the sight of them together. 

“going maudlin on me, old man?” Lucen asked with a laugh.

Aedan gave him a mock snarl. “After having put up with more than one girl coming to me to tell me that she and my son spent a wonderful night together and she’s in love with you, I think I deserve a few happy moments.”

Lucen reared back, his face flushing red. “That happened twice!”

“That you know of…” 

“Twice?” Leto asked quietly, his voice cool as he glared at the older boy.

“Most of them were servants at Weisshaupt. I had to forbid him from speaking to any of the women who worked there.”

Lucen’s hands slowly slid down his face. “Thank you, father. I really appreciate this embarrassing moment.” 

“Is that so Lucen?” Leto asked in that solemn, toneless voice he’d cultivated from years of training with his father and uncle.

Aedan bent his head down and gave himself a sniff. He wrinkled his nose. “I’m going to go and get cleaned up and then go and find Morrigan.” He got to his feet. “Thanks for coming to talk to me, son.” 

Lucen watched him go in dawning horror. “You did this on purpose!” he called after his father. He turned to Leto. 

“He did that on purpose to get back at me. Did you see that?”

Leto folded his arms and glared at Lucen. “How many others are there, Luce? Going to run off at the first pretty girl who gives you the time of day?”

“Wait, what?” Luce asked. “No. No, it’s not like that. You don’t... “ He ran his hands through his shoulder length hair in frustration. “It’s not what you think.” 

“Fine, if you say so. Let’s go in and find Fenris, he wanted to see us as well. Maybe find Daer if Lethander will leave her be for a while.” Leto said in a snit as he left Lucen standing in the dirt, surrounded by the remains of training dummies.

Lucen caught up to Leto in several long strides. He grabbed him by the arm to stop him. “Wait, please listen to me.” 

“Not out here, I am not going to follow in my uncle’s footsteps and have knock-down drag out fights with you in public. Let’s talk after dinner.” Leto hissed out as he counted to fifteen in an effort to calm himself and not snap at Luce.

“There’s nothing to fight about,” Lucen insisted. “What I did before, has nothing to do with us now. You’re the one I love, Leto. You’re the one I chose to be with. You don’t…” He sighed in frustration. 

“I don’t understand why you’re so mad.” 

“I don’t want to lose you, and for the longest time I thought you didn’t even want me, Lucen. You broke my heart before you asked me to be yours. I’m just...I just don’t want to fight out here. Come on, and forget I said anything I’m being stupid.” Leto held his hand out, hopeful that Luce would take it after he’d been so ridiculous.

“It’s not… It’s not that i didn’t want you, Leto, but that i had my own shit to work through. You were my best friend, you still are, and I didn’t want to ruin it at the time, the way i ruined all my other relationships. If you could call them that,” he muttered the last to himself. 

“If you want to go somewhere else we can go to our room.” 

“It’s fine, I’m just being stupid. Still a kid remember? Come on, I’m worried about Uncle Fenris and Anders. He seemed to beaten down earlier.” Leto tugged Lucen’s hand so he’d follow him.

“No.” Lucen dug in his feet. “You’re not being stupid. You have every right to suspect me, don’t you? I haven’t always been the most loyal when it comes to my lovers. I…” He licked lips suddenly gone dry. “Can I be honest with you?”

“Always, I’d prefer it actually. What's on your mind?” Leto hedged as he watched his lover hesitate.

Lucen cleared his throat awkwardly. “In Weisshaupt, do you know how they see my father? The Grey Wardens are treated almost like gods in the Anderfels, and my father is the only one who has killed an Archdemon and survived. He’s the First Warden, the final authority on Grey Warden matters. In a country like the Anderfels, he has more power than the king ever will.”

He let out a slow breath to calm himself and organize his thoughts. “I’m his son. From the first moment that people realized who I was and my connection to him, I had people cozying up to me. When i was younger, it was playmates that I knew didn’t like me for me. When I was older it was… it was men and women throwing themselves at me. 

“I took advantage of them after a while. I thought that if they were offering, I might as well get something out of it. Maybe those women who went to my father afterwards really though we were in love, but some of them… some of them only did it to gain favors from my father. It wasn’t about me. It never was. It was always about him and power. One or two of them I can be sure actually cared about me, but the others… I will always question it. 

“I had to get my head on straight. I had to remember that people could love me for me and not what I could do for them. And you and Daer were my only real friends. I know that… I know that I went after Daer because of that, because I knew deep down she was safe and would never return any feelings I thought I had. But with you it’s different. It’s always been different, Leto.” 

“I know, like I said I’m just being stupid ok? Let it go, please?” Leto pleaded.

Lucen nodded. “I’m sorry that I hurt you.” 

“It’s fine love, let’s just go before I start crying or something. I’m just an idiot that’s in love with you and have been since I knew what it meant. I’m just glad you let me in.” Leto pulled Lucen down for a long kiss before he headed back into the great hall. “Things are going to be alright Luce, trust me.”

**

Two weeks later and it was as if the chaos had never happened. it wasn’t that anyone had forgotten about it, but more that the life of a Grey Warden was never sure, and they had learned to try and take hold of the good times. 

Aedan and Anders had come to some sort of quiet agreement with each other and the templars. The mage was to leave the Grey Wardens and retire to a villa just outside Minrathous. He was never to leave Tevinter, but they all knew that there was little the templars of Kirkwall could do to enforce this, as long as he did not step foot inside the city again. 

While Anders and Aedan were deciding Anders’ future, Lucen had become secretive over the past few days. He avoided Leto, and had retreated to a separate bed in their shared room. 

“You know,” Daer said to him one morning in the crowded dining hall, “you’re being a bit of an ass. This is my last day with both of you and you two are being too quiet. I’m supposed to go to the Dalish tomorrow.” 

“Sorry Daer, haven’t been sleeping well and I’m tired.” Leto mumbled as he glanced at Lucen before he attacked his meal again.

Fenris for his part had begun to work on getting around, learning to judge distance once more with just one eye. He’d been chewed out by Aedan, Lethander and Cadewyn in turn for wanting to give up on being a warden because of his loss. He found his way to the Hall with Cadewyn in tow, giving him tips on compensating his swing and not throwing his sword at his opponent.

Daer rolled her eyes. “Oh, come on. We had a few weeks of peace and now you two are acting as if speaking or looking at each other is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. What did you do now, Luce?”

“Hey!” Lucen exclaimed. “Why do you think it was me?” 

“It’s always you.” 

“Tell me if you find out, since he won’t even act like I’m in the same room as him. I’ll talk to you all later.” Leto got up and headed over to join his uncle.

“Wait!” Lucen called after him.

Leto stopped but didn’t turn around as he was called. “Yes, Lucen?”

“I…” Lucen could feel every eye in the dining hall on him and the scene he was making. But he was a Cousland, and a Cousland didn’t let a little thing like everyone in Arlathan watching them stop them from doing what they wanted. 

He hopped up on a table and dropped down to his knees, holding out a hand for Leto. “Come here. Please.” 

“Well now,” Daer said with a grin. “That’s more like it.” 

Fenris glanced at the others with him, then turned his gaze back to Lucen. “He’s so much like Aedan, I swear to Mythal.” He said under his breath as Anders slipped next to him.

Leto took his time but he made his way over to his lover and took his hands. “Didn’t realize you were such an exhibitionist, Luce.”

“Oh please,” Lucen said with a breathy laugh. “You should know that about me by now.” He hauled Leto up on the table, and then reached into a pouch on his belt, withdrawing a ring. 

“Look,” he said as he held it up. “I know that we’re still young, and I know this might seem pointless, but it means a lot to me right now, and I’m hoping to you too.” 

Daer sighed and shook her head. Lucen wasn’t the best with his words. 

“But I want to to be together,” Lucen forged on. “So in the future, someday soon, I hope you’ll want to…” he began to trip over the words and he scowled. 

“Yes, I want to be with you too Luce. It’s not pointless if it means you’re promising me your heart for a year, five years or ten years from now. The answer is yes.” Leto leaned up to kiss his lover as he waited for the older boy to slip the ring on his finger.

“Well damn, that was unexpected. Guess he’s got a flair for the dramatic, wonder where he got that from?” Fenris teased as he nudged Anders then whistled his approval.

Anders snorted in laughter as he clapped. “And he stole one up on his father. Aedan and Zev still aren’t bonded or married.” 

Lucen slipped the ring he’d had made on Leto’s finger and drew him down for a kiss.

“It wouldn't’ surprise me if they’d done it and not told anyone.” Fenris said as he joined in the applause.

Leto grinned once he was let down for air. “This is why you’ve been avoiding me? Maker you could have just asked me in our room.” for all that he had been annoyed, Leto couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he waved at his uncle.

“not completely,” Lucen hedged. He rose to his feet, towering over Leto and his hands went to the bottom of his tunic. 

“Ah!” Zevran said from the other side of Fenris. “Now we get to it, yes?”

“What do you know?” Aedan asked.

Zevran only tapped the side of his nose. 

Lucen’s tunic slipped over his head, revealing a chest and back packed with muscle that rivaled his father’s. Freshly inked lines covered most of his back, swirled over his shoulder and down the right side of his front. An intricate wolf done in the art style of the Elvhen was wrapped around Lucen.

“Didn’t want you to see until Zev was finished,” Lucen said sheepishly. 

“Wow… this is gorgeous.” Leto said as he ran his fingers over the design with a devilish gleam in his eyes. “Just beautiful, how long did this take?” he asked quietly.

“Days,” Lucen said. “I’m glad you like it. Zev thought you would, but when it was done i was starting to get nervous. I didn’t want you to see it until it was finished and healed a bit more. sorry. I didn’t think on what it was looking like when i was trying to keep it a secret.” 

Daer eyed her friend. “You know. Sometimes you make me wish I had some sort of interest in men.” 

“Nope, not this one. He’s mine Daer and you can’t have him.” Leto teased as he continued to trace the intricate lines over his lover’s body.

Fenris grinned as he took Anders hand in his and squeezed. “Wonder if we’d have been like that as teenagers?” he wondered as he watched the kids get surrounded by well-wishers.

“Not so much,” Anders said lightly. “I was half the size of Lucen. Oh!” he said in mock surprise. “You mean the sugary cuteness part! Yeah, we would have been awful.” 

“Hmm, perhaps we should go be awful together?” Fenris suggested quietly.

“Good idea.” Anders didn’t even try to be subtle as he got up and pulled Fenris to his feet. 

“Terrible, incredibly awful and terrible.” Fenris muttered as he was tugged along behind his husband. “Shouldn’t we congratulate them on our way out?”

“Nope! No time!” Anders hurried them to the stairs. 

Leto saw his uncle being hustled out of the hall and laughed out loud. “I’ll see them later I suppose.” 

“You might be too busy,” Lucen whispered and took his lips in another deep kiss. 

~Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, that's the end of this long, wild ride.
> 
> Thank you so, so much for coming along with us!
> 
> ~ cypheroftyr & psikitty


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